Week 1
Hello, to all of the two of you who read this sight. I happen to be an, ah, acquaintance of SameCool. I�m hoping that this column will eventual be a weekly feature so that you can get your weekly recommended dosage of hatred. But I think I�ll need to find a good place to start�
I think my motto would be a nice opening. It�s taken directly from �The Last Beat of Your Heart� by Mission U.K. It goes like this: �I want power and glory, want to taste it on my tongue, I want to be immortal, remain forever young. I want to be a legend, want the world to know my name, I ain�t got no regrets, I don�t feel no shame.� Basically, it means that I want to be known and accepted for being myself. In general, I find the song to be very inspiring, and I command you to go out and buy Music From the Succubus Club, the CD that it�s on. It�s a compilation.
Anyway, my goal here is largely ranting about my life. For a few people, I�ll be using one letter for their name, and that�s it. I won�t tell you there names, but I can describe them�
�K� � Well, to put it simply, she�s a bitch. I avoid her whenever possible. Didn�t always used to be that way, though.
�J� � Okay, she�ll probably never be mentioned, but just in case� She lives in New Jersey, we (the webmaster and I) live in Southern California.
�Tim� � While not a letter, I figure that it�s better that we not use his real name, as to avoid ruining any friendships of his.
And� that�s about it I think�Okay, not much to complain about, except generally being very angry (at nothing in particular, except maybe a lack of places around here that carry CDs by Carfax Abbey).
Anyway, now I�m going to complain about stupid people. Let�s start with that annoying girl who seems to be in whatever math class you sign up for. You know who I�m talking about. The one who raises her hand and shouts �my turn� every time something even remotely sounding like a question is asked. Of course, she�s never any good at math, is she? Of course not, then she might realize that it doesn�t matter! Ah, if only she�d realize that she belongs in the two year program.
Next, we have the stupid person who knows what their talking about if you can get them to care about something. A prime example of this is our own �Tim�. Let�s not forget to tack on the fact that quite a few people in this category (we�ll call them Idiot Class B) are suicidal. Do you really think that killing yourself is gonna help it at all? Well, chances are that it won�t. That won�t stop them, of course (As a matter of fact, we were just thinking the other day that �Tim� had killed himself). Another prime example is my friend James Levi. He could tell you anything about Diablo 2, even the exchange rate of gold to U.S. dollars. And, let�s not forget that he could do that for pretty much any amount of gold without breaking a sweat. Of course, if you took away the units (i.e. Gold and Dollars) he couldn�t do it. Even if you gave him the same formula. He could tell you all sorts of stuff about D&D, especially character personalities and trivial rules. But again, if you switched it around to English and asked him to do the same thing with the characters in Johnny Tremain, he couldn�t do it. I don�t blame him, of course. I hate Johnny Tremain, too.
Well, the above are two of our �idiot problems�. So, now for the solution. There are two things that I can think of for starters. 1) Fake your death and finish high-school under a false name. It ain�t that hard! 2) Get a job that involves handling money at absolutely no point whatsoever. A good place to start with this option is being a vagabond. From their, you might become a vagrant, and if you�re REALLY lucky, maybe someday you�ll become a full-blown hobo. 3) Become a major business leader. While this involves lots of money handling, you can also be BAD at it. I mean, everyone expects you to embezzle half of the company�s profits. So, why not? I mean, that way you get to be rich AND (in)famous.
Well, that�s all that�s gonna be in this weeks column. If you have something that you want me to rant about next time (not week, no schedule yet). E-mail it to me, and maybe if it�s good, I�ll use it. Of course, if it�s REALLY good, I�ll be jealous that I didn�t think of it, so I�ll be petty and pretend that I never got it. Any how, I�m signing off for this week.
If you want to e-mail me, do so to:
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