Week 13 � Hobbit Holes (Human Decency)
First things first, the world of Orpheus. As per usual, it�s resolutely mundane. I don�t think that much of anything�s happened since I submitted Week 12 (last night), so I really have no idea how I�m gonna fill this column. Hey! Three lines have already gone by, make it four, now! Okay, but really. Tim�s been eating lunch with the Hobbit, and we need to steal him back so that I have someone interesting to talk to. As it is, I�ve just been standing around and listening to the Caravan act all stupid and stuff. Um� not much else really�
Anyway, on to the actual column. So, the Hobbit figured out that my apology was forced, oh how bloody brilliant; a brain dead crack-monkey could�ve figured that out. I only said that to get Andrew, Tim, and Niles to just shut the fuck up about it and leave me alone. I mean, come on, the Hell does it matter to them for? Tim didn�t even know you at the time.
But you seem to be under the impression that I was asking you to treat me different. That�s not true. What I was asking for was for you to actually sit down and think for a moment your actions have consequences. I mean, the first thing that you ever said to me went along the lines of �Hi, douche-bag�. I mean, the fuck? If you go around saying stuff like that, do you really expect people to act all nice and stuff to you? You seem to think that, and lemme tell you, if you really do, there are more things wrong in your head than in mine. I mean, come on, if you keep chucking stuff like that out there, you have to expect some of it to come right back and smack you in the face. It�s just like pissing upwind.
And when I called you a bitch, I meant it in both senses. One as just a generic insult, and the other as a female dog. You keep barking at everything that moves, and you run off to a corner to sulk if someone raises their voice at you for barking at �em. I�ve said it before, and I�ll say it again in big capital, bold letters, Hobbit, YOU ARE A BITCH. Y�know, even K had more respect than you, she at least acted like a civil human being. And to think I loved the book, The Hobbit.
For Week 13, this is Orpheus, signing out. Send topics to [email protected]