Live, Love, and Hate – by Orpheus
Week 71 – These two things
(7/13/05, 12:35 AM) First off, Steve, I still think I should be getting paid for this. Next, I type about ten minutes after that last sentence, I really don’t know what the fuck I’m doing writing this. I definitely don’t have enough to rant on for four paragraphs about, but hey, who really gives a fuck, not like anyone’s ever gonna read this.
Alright, I guess what I really wanna say is something I’m positive I’ve said a thousand times before and will probably say a thousand times again. I feel like I’m wasting my time in my relationship with R. It’s not that I don’t care about her, it’s not that at all.
It just seems that like while I’m willing to do just about anything for it, she can’t be bothered in the slightest (ah, isn’t this just like the last two columns have been?). I mean, look at these two examples. First, a while back, R got sick of her modem kicking her off (or something of the sort, this is just the story I heard when she came back) and decided it just wasn’t worth the slight annoyance to be on. Didn’t bother to say good-bye, or to tell me that she’d be gone. That’s right; apparently I’m not worth the slight inconvenience of having to reconnect sometimes.
The other time is May 7th, the day that we’d been together for a year. Here I am, on for a couple extra hours, hoping to spend a little more time with her than I usually do, and not a single trace of her. Found out the next day that apparently she decided to spend the day watching movies about the Vietnam War. Couldn’t even be bothered to pop on for five minutes in between them, didn’t want to waste her time maybe just calling (we’ve never had a phone conversation go on for even a minute). Is it just me, or does that seem like it just doesn’t mean anything to her?
And of course, if I ever try and talk to her about it, she always makes it seem like either it’s my fault, or I’m being hyper-sensitive about it. And granted, about some things I am. But not these two.
Signing off.