Live, Love, and Hate – by Orpheus
Week 51 (?) – Diary of dreams (I hate small children)
(12/23/04) I really do hate ‘em. I was having lunch at a fast-food place today, then a little kid stood up on a table and started screaming. The kid’s mom told her to stop screaming, this just made her scream more, ask again, or screaming, etc. Come on, why not just take the kid off the table? Looking forward to seeing Darkness and White Noise. Now, on to the diary of dreams, beginning with the first visit from Eurydice (whom I miss dearly, though not as much as I do R).
It was late at night in a Silent Hill type version of the trailer park down town, I was looking for [Lancelot]. Some girl with reddish-brown hair walks up and offers to help me find him. We walk along and she asks about my past, so I tell her all about K and R (who wouldn’t find her way into LLH for another two months), she sympathized, so I ask her about her past, she won’t tell, we don’t find [Lancelot] and she has to go, her parents (?) drover her away in a dark green SUV. The place we were when she left was the only real place in the whole dream, even the trailer park had been hideously altered, I often return to that place at night, standing where I did in that dream sort of hoping she’ll come around that corner (she said she’d see me again soon).
Oh, before I move on to Eury’s second visit, I’d like to say that there’s a new second-name, “Tune”, she has a locker right by mine and lives about two and a half minutes from my house by foot, I’ve known her longer than almost anyone else mentioned in LLH. Well, point is that I kinda wonder why she calls me by my full name instead of just the first three letters like everyone else. Only one other person does that, not even my own family does.
We were peasants the next time she showed up. We lived together in a house on a hill by a valley. For some reason, I had to go dinosaur hunting with my friends, but Eurydice didn’t want me to go with them.
“But,” she said, “I’m just afraid that if you go with them, that I’ll never see you again.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said with a smile, “There’s nothing that could keep me from coming back to you.”
Next dream isn’t Eurydice-related; it was a dream on May 7th, that night during Deliverance when I sent the e-mail to R telling her. I was very nervous.
I was on the island from Lord of the Flies. Something wasn’t right, though, they hadn’t killed Simon (I feel like him sometimes). They hadn’t divided into camps yet (but that’s what happens first in real life) there was a giant cell phone in the ground on the beach (it is a symbol of safety to me). R’s voice was coming from it (how did I know?), she was saying something, but I couldn’t understand what it was. Then, we were on 3 boats that were sailing through some jetty Simon was steering the boat I was on, the others had skeletons for helmsmen (oh the irony).
Now we move on Eurydice’s 3rd visit, this was in late July, shortly after R’s birthday (first was in March, second was in April) it is largely about R, and I will include a few quotes.
We were in the same house as 2nd visit, sitting at the same table.
“What makes her anymore real than me? Can’t you hear my voice? Can’t you look into my eyes?” she looked into my eyes, and then placed her hand on mine, “Can’t you feel my touch? What makes her any more real?” (such low blows)
[later that dream]
“Oh come on, you heard the way that filthy whore talks about her ex, you really think the two of them ever really finished? Uh-uh. You’re being a fucking idiot, [Orpheus].”
[another time, same dream]
“Before that cheap slut got in the way, it was supposed to be just the two of us against the world, [Orpheus and Eurydice], just like Orpheus and Eurydice! You’re the one who said that…”
Next, we have Eury’s 4th visit, a.k.a. “The Harrowing” I’m not really gonna say much about it, I’ve never fully discussed it with anyone, not even R, and normally, I tell her everything (only two quotes, both from Eurydice [this was the last time she talked to me]). This was August.
“You’re a filthy, filthy beast.”
[later]
“God, I love you.” (I want your…)
Now, we move on to a dream from earlier in this month.
Someone, another not real person, walked up to me when I was walking back to where I eat lunch (I’d just gotten a vanilla coke fthe vending machines by the gym). She said She was a friend of B’s, and that she (she being B) wanted me to come to some bonfire. I didn’t, R would kill me.
Next, we go on to one from a few days ago (this Sunday, 12/29) Probably won’t make much sense unless you’ve read the Divine Comedy and know some truth.
I’m standing in a garden with some other guy. There are statues depicting various cantos from the Inferno. Me and the other guy (my Virgil figure, he had black hair) were arguing about wherher or not it was accurate without the wrathful and the sullen (there were oranges growing in the garden and on the statues). Antway, suddenly I’m alone in the garden and it’s night. Then, I see R’s face and the place is dawn (from the summit of Purgatory, taken by Beatrice). She took my hand and we walked off into the sunrise (maybe sunset, I wonder what it’s like?)
The last dream was the day after that one, I wrote it down hurridly before I went to sleep the next night, Here goes, with hurried notes and all (probably won’t make much sense, sorry).
Doone said I was truant again, got pissed, left. Met Caravan in front of store. They left for school, I decided not to go. Went to another school (indoor one, not real, R’s?) halls were blue, found Herr Hooper in theatere, he was teaching there in his off period (but it was only 9:16!) went back to school, after, found Caravan (why are they here so much?) in front of Chinese take out place (in GG! Not losal [but we were by Oak])/ Steve had betrayed me I wanted to deck him. Then, Mr. Antrobus came from next shop, it was his, used video game store. Argues with someone about violent video games (grant & megan?)
(12/26/04) I hate all the family junk I hafta do on Christmas. Well, I had a dream again last night (so many of them lately, so strange) [oh, something I forgot to mention in an earlier LLH, the day after I felt Eury’s hand at night, I found one of her hairs on my shirt].
I don’t remember much about this one, but I’ll give you what I got. I was down at the beach with someone, though I can’t remember who (again, but it was a girl this time, ss). So anyway, we were at the beach downtown and walking along the pier (but it wasn’t the real one!) When I see B standing on the wooden railing at the far end with a noose around her neck that’s some how attached to the railing. She looks back at me. I run forward and tell her not to jump, but she just looks sad and jumps. The fall, luckily enough, doesn’t break her neck and the rope detaches from the railing and she drops into the sea. Then, I shouted something to her, but I can’t remember what. That’s all I can remember, but I know there’s more before and afterward.
For the time being, Orpheus, signing out.