Live, Love, and Hate by Orpheus

 

Week 39 (46) – A collection of animals

 

The title of the column, by the way, is the definition of a menagerie, so with that in mind, I bet you can figure out what sort of a column you’re in for. We will start with a poem that I wrote, entitled “Shed My Skin”, it’s one of the few things that I’ve done that I ever liked.

 

“I want to (need to) shed my skin,

Such a monster I have been,

Staring endlessly at my own reflection,

Thinking just one thing over and over again,

“He has the eyes of a corpse,”

Gray and lifeless,

What ever happened to vivid blue?

Raise a shaking hand, and he does, too

But that can’t be right,

He can’t be me,

It seems like so very long ago,

Sitting there,

So very late at night,

Trying to let my blood run free,

But that knife could never cut,

But the new one can,

I see that in the cut on the thumb,

Of his quivering hand,

But he won’t stop staring at me,

With those dead eyes,

Run cold water down my shoulders,

I think that’s what tears felt like,

But it’s been so long,

I can’t remember,

Read a self-injurer’s journal,

Phrased everything right,

She made it sound like such a good idea,

It’s so beautiful,

Watching your own blood spill out,

Just like the tales I used to write,

Amber Ericson’s dark URGE,

The voice of the fallen slaughter god,

T’silah will provide,

That’s what Amber kept telling herself,

But I don’t have a guardian devil like her,

I guess I gotta stand up,

Be who I was before I crashed down,

I never should have done that,

It was the worst decision,

            That I could have made,

What happened to always being honest,

            And what about never fearing?

                        I tossed them to the winds,

                                    When I needed them most,

Feel something,

Forcing its way onto reality,

            Through me,

Everyone’s always asking,

            If I’m alright,

Of course not,

Would I act this way if I was?

“Open your eyes and see the beauty that’s all around you”,

I can’t remember who told me that,

But it’s not true,

The beauty is always crushed,

            By the shallowness,

                        And the petty human nature,

I’ve been running far too long,

It’s time to take a stand,

            Time to face the onslaught fighting,

                        Time to avenge the eyes of a corpse.”

 

Next up, we have something that I may or may not have put in an earlier menagerie, I’m not quite sure. The song is “The Healing” by Carfax Abbey:

 

“Empty spaces,

Void of all but time,

Can’t seem to find,

The hand that holds onto belief,

Beside,

Between,

The atmosphere separates once more,

The calm before the storm,

Caught a glimpse of what’s the other side,

Doesn’t sit too well, I’ve changed my mind,

Resurrect me this one time,

I don’t mind though I can’t see,

Heal me now,

Just let me breathe,

I don’t mind this broken sacrifice,

Heal me once,

I paid your price,

I don’t mind,

Whisper softly,

Words I cannot hear,

Brave enough to fear,

Existing now in time and space,

The place where I have lost the cause,

Lost too many times,

The purpose I can’t find,

Running faster from the other side,

Doesn’t sit too well,

I’ve changed my mind,

Sucking air eyes open wide,

I don’t mind though I can’t see,

Heal me now,

Just let me breathe,

I don’t mind this broken sacrifice,

Heal me once,

I paid your price,

I don’t mind,

It’s better knowing than never knowing,

My eyes are open wide.”

 

Okay, I just saw a bright flash out of the corner of my eye, I wonder what’s going on here… Ah well, probably just me being crazy. Anyway, our next installment is “Darkness of the Heart” by Kristofer (who I’ve probably referred to earlier just as Kris).

 

“Darkness, Darkness
Fills the sky
The blackness covers the earth
In this blackness I ran
Running looking for a light
What drove me on I didn't know
Fear in my heart
Tears in my eyes
I ran
Ran, looking for the light
Into the darkness I went
Darker and darker it became
I tripped
I tripped, not wanting to get up
My light was no more
Blackness crept into my heart
There I lay waiting for death
I saw his steeds covered in flames
Running to me
Coldness is all I felt
Death approached and took my life and soul
My empty shell left to rot”

 

Anyone and everyone who knows how to contact Kristofer, please do so and harass him  about writing again. Next up is “Sacrifice” by R, though once again, I think I may have used this one before.

 

“Lift me up and spend me around
Lay down next to me on dark stormy nights
Help mend my wounds with your string
Follow me into the enchanted wood
Swim with me under the waterfall of youth
Come and live life freely in my arms
Let me protect you, as you protect me
I'll hold onto your hand
As long as you don't let go of mine
If you're feeling low I will help you
I will help light your way
Show you all my hiding places
I will let you give your love
All your love to another
If it meant you could be happy
I will take you pain and make it my own
If it meant you could be happy
Let me be in pain for I know
That you won't have to be
I will give you my heart
And set you free
So you can give your love to another
If it meant for you to be happy
I would rather love alone.”

 

Next up, “Crying”, also by R. Her and Kristofer are, in my opinion, the two best poets to have graced the world in quite a while (mind you, I don’t really care for classical poetry, much prefer contemporary).

 

“Frozen tears burn down rounded cheek
Not knowing what to do, or to expect
The icy wind blows, tossing hair about
Wide innocent eyes full of pain, and sorrow
Needing someone here, to hold them close
Shivering in the bitter cold, sitting all alone
Night of crying isn't enough anymore
Do the feelings of hate still linger in the heart?
Is happiness still there, somewhere maybe hidden
Its alright if you cry
Things change, though you might not want them too
So angry, the darkness consuming everything
Its alright if you cry
The pain is hard on everyone
Sometimes crying helps make the pain fade
Admit that the pain is there
Don't let the world know though
Try hard to stay alive as long as one can
Its alright if you cry
Sometimes the pain just hurts so badly
Can't help that you fill this way
Having to think of everyone, and not yourself
Yet one can still hate someone, but they need to ask
How did all this fall about?
Are they happy now?
Do they even care about anyone else?
Its alright if you cry
Emotions are too much in this time
Frozen fingertips, try to warm an empty soul
The burning pain won't fade away
And it's so hard to forgive
For all the pain that they have 'cause
It's a long road that were traveling
Not knowing what to expect out of this
Letters and phone calls
All but forgotten
The world is so big, where do you go?
Its alright if you cry
Its alright if hearts get broken
It's just so cold out here
Hating how the real world is
As much as it pains to live there, that's life
It's so hard to forgive, and forget the pain
Sitting here, shivering in the cold night
No one there, to lend a hand
Do they miss everything they have ever gave up
It's alright if you cry
It's a hard road that were traveling on
Hero's don't live here, at least not anymore
Trembling lips, try to hide the pain
Saying what's not really needed to be said
Freezing tears burn down rounded cheeks
The pain is killing off the inside
Its all right if you cry..”

 

And that is where I will leave you for Week 39, this is Orpheus, signing out.