Live, Love, and Hate – by Orpheus

 

Week 30 – Cracking Up

 

I hate you all. Each and every last fucking one of you. You want an individual reason? E-mail me and I’ll give you one. Exception to this rule is……um… no one, I don’t think. Even the Letters go in this time. Oh, speaking of the letters, I’d like to say that I have changed “L” to “N” because I thought it was much more in keeping with the assignment of the letters. Where was I, oh yes, back to the hatred. On the note of hatred, apparently I left myself open to misinterpretation in Week 20 part 2 when I said “I think that, in light of recent events, I have learned more than my fair share of stuff about hatred”. What I meant by that is that, despite all that had happened, I still didn’t feel hatred, but only anger.

 

You know, some times I wonder if I should be, like, taking schizophrenia medication or something (assuming that they make it, which I’m pretty sure that they do, though who ‘they’ are, I honestly haven’t a clue), because while I’ve stopped seeing Eurydice out of the corner of my eye (I used to do that, if I never mentioned it before), now I, like, hear static out of nowhere. This morning in English, I heard a guitar solo, several times. And I know it wasn’t my CD player messing up and playing when it was supposed to be off because I unplugged the headphones. Besides that, the song which I had the thing set to repeat play had no guitar solos in it. And it couldn’t have been someone else’s because A) nobody else had one out, and B) nobody else seemed to hear it but me.

 

That’s not the worst of it, though. Last night, some time around midnight, when I was lying in bed trying to get to sleep, I felt a hand place itself on my shoulder. Then, a moment later the hand lifted and proceeded to wrap itself and the arm it was attached to over my chest. At the same time as that was going on, I felt a body curling up next to mine. It took me a moment, but I managed to place the size and such of the body. When it finally did come to me, it was a touch unsettling. That was Eurydice sleeping next to me, in much the same manner as at the end of visit #4, aka The Harrowing.

 

But there’s a reason I don’t seek out treatment for this. It’s because despite how discomforting most people might find it, I find it to be strangely reassuring. It’s almost like there’s someone watching out for me, a sort of guardian angel, if you will. Despite the negative spin I usually put on Eurydice since her appearances after Deliverance, she’s really quite a nice little girl, very determined.

 

Signing out.