A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever,and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."
A surd wants to somehow get a doctorate. One of his friend advises him to do research in zoology. So the surd decides to do his research in zoology, that too with a Frog. He first keeps the frog on a table and asks it to jump.It jumps.Now he cuts one of its legs and keeps it over the table. Again he asks it to jump. Again frog jumps. Getting boosted by this development,now he cuts another leg and asks the frog to jump. The frog jumps again.Getting wondered about it,now he cuts the third leg and again asks it to jump. Frog jumps.Now he could not control the suspense and cuts the fourth leg and ask the frog to jump.It doesn't. Immediately the surd writes in his thesis."If you cut all the four legs of a frog, it will become deaf."
"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor."said Murari to Lalwani ."Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?" replied Lalwani. Murari said: "Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."
General Musharaf, Vajpayee, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharaf is bent over holding the side of his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them maintain a diplomatic silence and nobody says anything. 1) Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him." 2) Madhuri is thinking: "Musharaf must have tried to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped. 3) " Musharaf is thinking: "Damn it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped me." 4) Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again."
A sardar (a sikh) sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on Sardar: What do they get from that? Bystander: The winner will get a prize. Sardar: Then why are the others running?! ************************************************************************ A sardar and an American were walking outside when the American said "Oh, look at the dead bird." The sardar looked towards the sky and said"Where,where?" ************************************************************************ Sardar: I was born in the Punjab. Friend: Oh really, what part? Sardar: All of me, silly. ************************************************************************ Yoginder : What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY? Sukhbinder: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO! ************************************************************************ Sukhbinder : Tell me five FERROCIOUS animals you can think of... Yoginder: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers. ********************************************************************** Q: How can you recognise a sardar in a submarine? A: He is the one with the parachute on his back. ********************************************************************** Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway." ********************************************************************* A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye,tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin'". ********************************************************************** Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back." ********************************************************************** Q: Why did the Sardar take a pair binoculars with him to a funeral? A: It was a distant relative's funeral.
Some GOOD computer shayari!!!! A R Z K I Y A H A I......... Shayad mere pyar ko taste karna bhool gaye... Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye... **************** Tumhare samne hain itney items kabhi hame bhi pick karo... Hamare pyar ke ICON pe kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo... ****************** Roz subha hum karte hai itne pyar se unhe good morning... woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS... ********************************************* Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhoro, ban jaao meri spouse! * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * * Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound, Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found! * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if" Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't like your face Par dil ke computer mein, nahin hai enough disk space * * ** * ** * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, pehen ke evening gown Too many requests se, ho jaata hai server down * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, create main karoonga Tum usse debug karna, wait main karoonga * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya Yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * Kya chaal hai tumhaari, jaise chalti hai koi cat What is your ICQ number, aao karein chat * * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * Tum jabse meri zindagi mein, aayi ho banke female Yaad raha na ab kuch, na postman , na e-Mail ******************************* Jo sadiyon se hota aaya hai woh repeat kar doonga... Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+delete kar doonga... ****************** Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain aur lonely hain... Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...
There's a minor problem - Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya There's a big problem - Arre yaar, "Zol" ho gaya There's a huge problem..(unsolvable) - Arre yaar, "Raada" ho gaya You'll be surprised - Ekdam "Hill" jayega tu I'm leaving this place - Chal apun "Kaltee" marta hai. Don't make a fool of others - Dekh, tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko Get the hell out, you oversmart fool!! - Chale Shaaane, "Hawa" aan de Do u drink daily? - Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai? You are afraid.. - Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi I'm gonna beat you up? - E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ? Something secret - Jara "Khopche" me leke ja What a babe! - Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!! An even more gorgeous babe - Kya "Raapchik Maal / Piece" hai yaar!! Don't bluff me! - E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de.. Ya..she's staring at me! - Kya sahi "LINE" deti hai "Bhiduu"!! Don't get so tense! - Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya?? Your clothes suck! - Kya "ZAGMAG / DHINKCHAAK" pehna tune? I don't give a shit! - "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata" Don't bore/bug me! - Jyaada " PAKAA" mat be tu Do the job without anyone getting to know - Sab kaam " SUMDEE" me hona chahiye?kya? I'll slap you - " Ek rap chik du kya" Get out of here - Phataphat Wat le re idhar se tu Pissing somebody off on the road - A shembdya dikhta nahin kya? I got engaged to someone - Boss, apun ka to `SETTING' ho gay-la
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up (rais the speed). As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
Once upon a time, there was a man who came home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decided to teach him a lesson, so she dressed up like Satan and hid in the dark to scare him when he got home. When he finally came stumbling across the lawn, his wife jumped out in front of him and howled like a demon. He just looked at her and slurred, "You don't scare me; I'm married to your sister!"
The Library A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said,"I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters! " The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."