| PIMP CODE OF ETHICS |
| 1. Always have a ho on reserve. That way if one doesn't work out, you always have something to fall back on. |
| 2. If your ho starts a job, you better be damn sure she finishes it. |
| 3. There's nothing wrong with bright colors. If anything you get more attention cuz everyone wants to know who is that bright guy with all the hos. |
| 4. If you see another man with your ho, let it pass. Just be sure to let him know that his momma is on your payroll. |
| 5. Don't over accessorize. All you need is a fat Rolex, 24K gold chain complete with inscribed pendant of your name, address, and pager number, a plum colored Fila jumpsuit with matching shoes, socks, and house arrest bracelet, your chrome pick and your Oakley's signed by John Holmes. |
| 6. Share the wealth, bros before hos. But just remember always, ALWAYS, hit it first. Pimps don't do no sloppy seconds. |
| by Brent Kissick and Brandon Shoemaker |
| 7. If you get attached, put your game on hold, unless you can keep it on the DL. |
| 8. Keep the cupboard stocked with Chardonnay, BUT, spike it with a combination of Bacardi and Venus Fly, that way if things start to go sour, you can rejuvenate a once devastating night. |
| 9. Keep it short, simple and to the point. Don't go into details, your a pimp not an English teacher. |
| 10. More is better, don't listen to the myths. It does take 2 to tangle but 3's a charm. |
| 11. Don't ever bring your hos to your momma's house. This is not cool, one of two things can happen. She will reach in the drawer for your condom stash and find your collection of lotions and pornos OR your mom will walk in and see you being rode like Silver from Lone Ranger. |
| 12. Extension to 11. Get your own pad. That way when you say "Let's go back to my place," you can really do it and then Destiny's Child can't write a song about you. |
| 13. Do not keep any bills smaller than a $20 in your wallet. Pimps don't do small change. If you get caught with small bills in your pocket girls will start wondering what other "small" things your packin. |
| 14. Say no to any girls named Helena, Trena, Bertha, Mary Lou, Beth Anne, Franny, Ronda, Peggy, Roseanne, Pam, or Granny. These are wrong big boned hoes to be messing with. |
| 15. Flowers are a start, get some jewelry than you'll own her. |
| 16. NEVER approach a fat or nasty chick for head or any other sexual favor, that is their job. |
| 17. Never EVER let a bitch go without a slap when she disrespects you in public. REMEMBER a slap is only the minimal punishment, make sure she makes it up to you in private. |
| 18. If you know a chick that has the first initial J and the last initial B well you best get on that shit. |
| 19. If you have to work to get any than it just isn't worth it. There are plenty of hos to pimp just around the corner, so throw that bitch out and take a ho in. |
| 20. Make sure that your ho's ass is within legal limits: anything wider than the length of their forearm HAS GOT TO GO. |
| 21. Make sure that your status is known by your chick. SHE is the HO and YOU are the PIMP, you are in control my friend. |
| 22. If the jugs don't hold the same amount of milk you better drink up, milk does the body good after all. |
| 23. Take your game global, fuck "Hos in Different Area Codes," If you got enough game it will be "Been Around the World and I, II, I am Player Pimpin'." |