The Quantum Zone

Imagine if you will, a world where everything is a probability, you can be in two places at once, and your last worry on the bus is catching a cold. This is the Quantum Zone.

Cuthbert was late for work this morning, hurriedly cramming a creme-filled doughnut in his mouth for breakfast. Sure, he could go to work instantly without even moving, but the last time he made a jump like that he had the worst indigestion of his life. And superpositioning, while highly efficient, gave him a nasty headache these days. Ah, to be young again. The bus would have to do. There was only standing room available, so with sticky fingers he grabbed a handle. Swaying back and forth with the motion of the bus, Cuthbert read his paper, engrossed in an article about a debate over whether the Queen�s wave was actually quantized instead. One poor, misunderstood soul suggested looking at her through Venetian blinds and was beheaded quite expediently. Cuthbert was so engrossed that he didn�t see the children on the side of the road playing with a stray cat in a trashcan. Everyone except Cuthbert observed the cat being alive as the children threw off the lid, and he didn�t have time to brace himself when the bus swerved to miss it. Sprinting from under the careening bus, the cat was observed alive by bystanders. Apparently, the nine lives of cats correlate with a preternatural circumvention of the wave function of death. Anyway, Cuthbert was thrown off balance into a fellow passenger. They exchanged mumbled apologies and eventually went their separate ways.

Sitting in his armchair at home later, Cuthbert was watching the TV Guide channel�s bell curve illustrating the probability of whether anything good was on that night, when he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his side, like he had been punched in the ribs. Then he felt a blow to his head. There was no one around but him, yet the phantom punching continued. Then, through the bloody haze of his swollen eyes, he saw the Pay-Per-View boxing advertisements flash on the screen. Cuthbert watched a lot more prizefights in those post-entanglement days. He also never left the house again.

The End.