Third Place - Nisha (mona_darrrling)

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"Mama!" Anjali calls from the living room. "See my drawing!"

I put down the apple I was peeling for Anjali’s favorite milkshake and wipe a juice stain off my cheek with a deep sigh. I know it’s horrible of me to think, but will I ever have a life of my own? My wonderful husband Rahul, my sweet daughter Anjali and my caring mother-in-law are sitting peacefully in the living room watching the Neelam Show while I slave in the kitchen all day long to make them warm meals. I don’t plan to admit it, but my heart still aches for that love that was in my life when I was with Aman.

I walk into the living room to see Anjali’s drawing and – almost have a heart attack! Because there is the man who still makes my heart beat whenever I see his picture or an article about his success in the newspaper. He has the same warm brown eyes, the same charming smile he had six years ago, when women of all ages fell in love with him. What a fool I was to reject his love!

Rahul smiles at me. "Ti- Anjali! Here is the man who brought us together! Looks like he is very successful now. Come and sit down."

I force a smile on my face and try to turn back into the kitchen but Aman’s face draws me in like a magnet and I plop myself on the floor, eagerly awaiting his interview like my little daughter next to me.

Neelam grins into the camera. "Welcome to the Neelam Show! Today we are interviewing Aman Mehta, the top entrepreneur of today! Hello, Aman."

A little wave into the camera and my heart flutters like a newly released bird.

"Aman, tell us a little bit about your life. How has your journey from a small businessman to India’s top industrialist been?"

"Neelam, what can I tell you." The same old modesty that he possessed six years ago. "It has been a difficult journey, but I have done it all only for one person, and that is Anjali Sh- I mean Anjali Khanna. Even though she probably doesn’t even remember me now and is probably blissfully living her life of marriage, I think of her everyday."

The interview has almost ended and I realize that I have been dreaming about Aman the whole time. I quickly turn my attention back to the TV.

"Aman, would you like to say anything to our viewers?"

"Neelam all I would like to say is, don’t ever give up on your first love as I did. Ever since I gave up Anjali, there is a perpetual search for her in myself. If I could wish anything, I would ask to meet her, ask her how she is, how her new life is and that I still love her very much."

With that, the interview has ended. I am not surprised to find tears stinging my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away. On turning around, I am surprised to find Rahul expressionless for once, sitting rigidly on the chair.

I touch his arm, feeling a pang of guilt and wondering if my emotions had showed so obviously. "Rahul?"

After managing a brief smile, he gets up and walks away.

******************

Here we are…at Rathore Train Station. My compassionate husband, sensing the tension between us at Aman’s unofficial re-appearance in our lives, has decided to bring the whole family to Rathore to assist him at a charity concert show.

I know I should be excited—we haven’t taken a family vacation for years—but my heart years for Aman.

I wipe my hot forehead with the edge of my sari and bend to pick up my suitcase. But…it’s not there!

"Mama! Look, Aman uncle Aman uncle!"

No. It can’t be. But yet….

I grab Anjali, run up to the tall man calmly walking away with my suitcase and spin him around. It is him!

"Aman?"

"Hello, Anjali. You seemed to be having some trouble with your luggage so.."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

He smiles. That wonderfully sincere smile that I still remember from six years ago is unmistakable. "I found out that Rahul was coming here for a business trip and—Anjali, I haven’t seen you for six years. I also booked myself into the same hotel as you because I was so excited that you were coming. You don’t mind do you?"

"Uh..um..no, Aman not at all! I—Aman, I--" My little confession of "missing him"--which really is a bit of an understatement since I think about him every moment of every day—is interrupted by the smiling Rahul, unsuspecting of my wildly beating heart.

"Hello, Aman. How are you? Long time, no see, huh?"

Aman smiles politely, but I can read the disappointment on his face like a book. "Yes, Rahul. It has been a long time."

"I’m sorry, yaar, I’m in a bit of a hurry. I will see you at the concert then, all right?"

Aman nods, allowing my tired husband to leave. Before I can do the same, he touches my shoulder lightly, letting sparks run up and down my arm. "Anjali…you will be there, won’t you?"

I lower my eyes, trying not to let him see the long-lost love that he has sparked inside me. "Yes, Aman. I have to go now, I will be late."

He is unsure of my answer but smiles hesitantly and moves out of the way. Cheeks burning, I make my way to the hotel with Anjali.

******************

"What do you think of this dress for the extras?…Anjali?…ANJALI!"

I snap out of my daydream and barely focus on Rahul.

"Huh? Oh! Uh…that one!"

He frowns. "Well…I have to disagree on that, I like that one better…I mean it’s got more colors and will blend in much better, don’t you think? With the main dancers wearing black, white in the background will be too abstract. I rather think that…"

My thoughts drift off again. Since we had met Aman at the train station, I have barely been able to concentrate on where I am going, never mind what color of dress the dancers should wear. I cannot wait until I see him again, even though there is a ball of fear in my stomach as to what will happen when our eyes meet again and the sparks fly between us. I push that out of my mind for now and try to concentrate (without success) on what Rahul is saying and—just then Aman walks in the room! My heart leaps and I resist the urge to run up to him, hug him and ask him why he left me alone all these years. But of course, my innocent marriage vows that seemed completely right at the time haunt and trap me now. So instead I calmly walk up to him and smile.
" Hi Aman! So you are going to help out too?"

"That’s right! I’ll be here with you for a week!"

I knew I hadn’t imagined the soft look in his eyes at the train station. Maybe...just maybe there is a chance for us! Rahul doesn’t love me anymore, not that he ever did and—who am I kidding? Aman probably has beautiful girls lining up at his doorstep. He’ll never want me! Then why do his brown eyes melt every time he sees me? The more I think about it the more it confuses me. All I know is that I am in love with Aman and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Rahul, walking up behind me, shakes me out of my reverie. "Hey Anjali...where have you been huh? You’ve been dreaming off ever since we left the train station!"

My cheeks burn and I sneak a look at Aman, who is obviously in the same state as me. Does he know how much my heart yearns for him?

Rahul continues. "Okay Anjali, now that Aman’s here he can handle the rest, right?" Obviously interpreting Aman’s confused frown as permission to leave, he calls for Anjali, who joins us a while later and grabs my hand to leave.

"Rahul! Wait, I –uh- Anjali has to go to the bathroom… don’t you sweetheart?" Before my daughter can answer I flash a sweet smile at Rahul and take her hand as if to take her to the bathroom. The twinkle in Aman’s eyes says he knows better, but Rahul merely shakes his head and heads for the car with a wave.

"Fine then, you girls come to the car when you’re done, I’m waiting outside."

I rack my brain of what to do to be alone with Aman. "A-Anjali dear, why don’t you go and relieve yourself while I wait out here?"

My intelligent Anjali just shakes her head and heads off to the restroom to leave us alone.

Finally alone with Aman, I moisten my lips and manage a smile, the guilt of using my sweet Anjali to lie to Rahul still clutching at my heart.

A sudden burst of boldness overcomes the guilt. "Aman... will-will I be able to see you again this week?" Say yes, say yes, please say yes!

"I don’t think so, Anjali." No!

"But-but why? I mean, you yourself wanted to see me at the train station"

"Anjali, I have understood how you feel. Rahul has obviously not kept you very happy and now you want to use me for companionship while you and Rahul sort out your problems? I’m sorry Anjali but last time you were successful in breaking my heart when you left me for Rahul, and this time it’s not going to happen. I know you and Rahul are having financial and marital problems, and I can understand why you feel like you need someone else to focus on, but you just have to be patient with Rahul right now!"

My mouth is dry with shock but I form the words. "Aman...Aman, what are you saying? How can you think that I was using you? I lo-"

"No Anjali! Just don’t say it, please! It worked six years ago but I can’t have my heart broken again! You belong with Rahul and you can’t use me as a cushion to fall back on when your relationship falters! Being India’s top industrialist doesn’t make me the right candidate for your affection. I’m sorry, Anjali, I can’t make this mistake again. You are a wife and a mother! I can’t take that away from you.

"Goodbye, Anjali. It just can’t work between us." And with those words, he walks out of the room.

When I feel a sharp pain in my chest, I realize that I have been holding my breath. Or is it the heartbreak?

Anjali, my wonderful Anjali who I can’t live without, runs up to me and holds my hand as questions flood my mind.

How can I convince Aman that I love him and only him? That a mistake of the past won’t –can’t!- change our future? That innocence had always covered my eyes until now? If he did understand my feelings, how would I convince Rahul that we are not, and never were meant for each other? And most importantly, how can I choose between the love of my beautiful daughter and the love of my life?

******************

The next few days pass like a blur. Whenever I see Aman my cheeks flush red and I am forced by our situation to quickly look away. The sensible part in me scolds that I have to forget the past and live in the present, with the man who has married me, with my daughter and mother-in-law. If this is the way my life was meant to be, why does my heart melt every time I see Aman’s warm brown eyes and kind, sweet smile? My mind swims with confusion.

Finally it’s the end of the week, Friday, and time to leave Aman, leave the charity concert, and go home to spend the rest of my life with my husband, mother-in-law, and daughter.

I am carrying a heavy pile of books, late in the afternoon, when the concert area is hot with humidity and people bustling around, including Rahul and Anjali, but I still cannot help glancing at Aman through the corner of my eye.

I am so engrossed in his wonderful hands, his soft eyes, his luscious lips, even the beads of sweat on his forehead, trying to memorize each part of his face to carry back with me home, that I do not realize it when a big pile of heavy floorboards appears in front me and I trip and fall. The books scatter around me and I fall hard on the rough pavement.

Before I can try to clear my mind, a fair hand grabs my hand and lifts me to my feet where I am suddenly staring into a pair of sweet chocolate eyes.

"A-Aman..I.." I collect my senses before I can rashly blurt out my love. "Thank you for helping me up. You--"

Before Aman can say anything, I hear footsteps behind me and spin around. It’s Rahul! My cheeks burn and I pull away from Aman.

"Rahul, I-I am sorry! That meant nothing, it was just an accident--"

Rahul holds up his hand to silence me. I can read nothing in his eyes. "Anjali, this trip is over. We will leave for home tomorrow."

******************

We wordlessly make our way to the train station early the next day. Even as the heat burns my skin, my heart is as cold as ice and only one question thunders in my mind.

As we reach the train station, I load our bags in and get ready to enter the train, but just then I feel a firm hand on my shoulder pulling me back.

"Rahul?"

Rahul smiles. "Anjali, I forgot to tell you. You’re not coming back with us."

My mouth falls open in shock as questions flood my mind. "Rahul..? What do you mean?"

He shakes his head, still smiling. "Anjali, how long can we hide this false marriage? You are my best friend, and always have been. I can read every thought and doubt in your mind. When Aman gave you up to me, none of us knew what a mistake we were making, but yesterday, when you were in Aman’s arms, the love between you too could be clearly seen.

"I have been selfish, Anjali. In life there is only one love, and I have truly realized that today. The void in my life can never be filled again—Tina can never come back. And by denying you your first love, I cannot bring back mine."

I am struck speechless, but he doesn’t mind. He takes my hand and places it in another one. It’s Aman!

Rahul steps back. "Anjali, you and Aman can come back with us. I know you love our daughter as much as ever, and you can meet her whenever you want. We will all live as friends—you, me, and Aman. Everything will be all right again, Anjali—I promise you that."

I kneel down and hug Anjali. With my daughter in my arms, my best friend beside me, and the love of my life next to me, I feel truly happy for the first time in a long time.

THE END

Nicki Her & Sabrina Siddiqui

http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/kajolisno1