If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two
>>cents in, what happens to the other penny? Or do you get change?
Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a
>>racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
>>longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
> >electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
> >models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then
>>it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered,
>>what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write
>>to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could
>>look for them while they delivered the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
Profanity sucks.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.
Evil is not all bad.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
I disagree with unanimity.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
One should never generalize.
Avoid clichés like the plague.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
On one hand, I'm indecisive, but on the other, I'm not.
I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Death to all fanatics!
An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
Rehab is for quitters!
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever.
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
There are only three kinds of people: people who can count and people who can't.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the
>>radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes?
>>Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?