後記
Who is Brian Lee?
Better yet: why do you even care to know who the fk is Brian Lee? He's definitely not worth your time to know more about honestly. In fact, Brian Lee himself knows very little about Brian Lee.
Brian Lee is simply a host for the two separate entities who had dwelled within for over 5 years. Initially there's at one point where there's 4 entities, but somehow it has gone down to 2 over the years. You simply have two pretty contrasting people living inside Brian Lee: Sal and Moonlight Shadow.
Moonlight Shadow (MLS) is simply the one who is seem in most occasions in every social occasion/encounter. He is the optimistic and cheerful one who is sometimes shy, but very talkative once he gets to know the person very well. He is willing to take on challenges and have the interest to fight battles with unfavorable odds. MLS is the one who is more extrovert and enjoys being in a big crowd and shows off himself. He likes to maintain a good sense of humor and make sure that everyone around him maintains a positive tone. He is actually easily aroused, and does not have a very good temper most of the time. He is usually the more subjective and more 感性 side of Brian Lee and often tend to judge with his senses rather than his logical and rationale. His viligence is something that allows him to maintain his high sense of the surrounding and the people around; he is usually able to sense the advent of change in atmosphere and the current mood of those around him.
Sal on the other hand, is pretty much the antithesis of MLS. He is not pessimistic, but he tends to look at things at a different scope and is able to pick out the negative truth in things. He is a pretty manipulative person, and will not hesitate to step on others as means to get to the end. He is a professional liar, and most of the things that he say are never true, as they are just utilities for a greater goal. Sal doesn't like to talk much, and rather he enjoys the quiet time where he is able to contemplate the different issues and new concepts that he comes up with. He is the thinker within Brian Lee, and is very good at analyzing the situation and solve it base on knowledge and logic. Sal is not an atheist, but he certainly doesn't buy the whole concept of Christianity, and has a concept of his own.
Both Sal and MLS work separately as different units and compliment each other in situations when needed. Despite their difference, they are able to work together in harmony and have almost always the same concepts about the way of things.
Brian Lee never really managed to have a best friend; or rather, Sal and MLS are each other's best friend and the closest one that could consult with. Perhaps that's the reason why "Brian Lee" has a tendency to keep everything within himself and assess the experience/encounter/situation between the two of them. Supposedly MLS would really like to meet someone who he can share his feelings and the different life situations, while Sal would wish to meet someone who can actually understand his thinking and concepts and be able to discuss about them. Unfortunately neither types were met and they'll have to resort to each other.
But one thing is shared between the two of them: they both have absolutely no interest in existence whatsoever. Perhaps life is not something that they have strived for. It seems that the more that Sal has gone through and the more things about life that he claimed to have solve, the less reason there actually is for "Brian Lee" to exist. MLS simply acknowledges to Sal's findings and also holds the same side of the argument. If there is no will for the existence of "Brian Lee," the urge of living is certainly futile, and the upkeeping of the entity is definitely a waste of the already scarce resources on this planet. Simply, the birth of the entities is a tragedy; and all tragic heros must undergo the same ending.
In closing, MLS has the following to offer:
"I have been really grateful to have been able to meet all the different people that I've met throughout my life. Although our existence is a total tragedy, like Sal has always said: One shall never have regret of what has been done, because those are what add up to the many experiences and constituate growth.
I would like to apologize for all the things that are meant to happen which never ended up happening and may end up leaving everyone hanging: the organization of this years retreat, the trip to Toronto and the follow-up trip to Quebec, the piece that I promised Sal to have the opportunity to write, etc.
I really enjoy taking on challenges, and somehow I always end up 越級 and over-targeting myself. This has really screwed me over at times, from getting out of ESL, to IB, to trying out PICA and SFU. But this final one is going to be a big challenge, and it's going to take some gut and luck to pull off.
Thank you so much for your support up to this point; you've meant a lot to me for these couple of decades. Sorry if I've failed you, no worries if you've failed me, and it's just alright if we failed each other. Hopefully you will live a bright future and prevent another tragedy like this from happening."
As to Sal:
"Brian Lee never had a past, never has a present, and never will have a future. His existence is simply a figment of your wild imagination; there is simply no need for such a being to exist in this world. Perhaps within 2, 3, or 5 years, he'll be forgotten anyhow, thus your pity is definitely futile. For once in 5 years Project Alpha finally set its course right. Congratulations that Brian Lee has finally put his act together to do this."
- Moonlight Shadow and Sal 絕筆
2007-Apr
To You, if you ever happened to see this,
Of the very few things that I regret not have done, one of them is the chance to actually try and chase you. Ever since the first time I met you, you've laid a very strong impression within my heart and my feelings for you only have grown ever since. You may not be the best looking one in this planet, but to me you are the one who is very special and the best looking one that I've met. Your inner-beauty is definitely what caught my eye. I knew that I was in big trouble when I couldn't stop thinking about you and would look forward for the chance to talk to you. I really enjoyed the time being able to get to know you and I really cherish the very few times that I was able to be with you. I guess it's actually blessing that this never happened; I'll probably never be best person for you and the one who can make you the happiest girl in the world. There are certainly much better options out there and I certainly wishes you the very best in the future and that you'll eventually find someone that you actually like.