Dear Tony,
I am writing to confirm my wish to resign as Secretary of State.
As I explained when I came to see you yesterday morning, I am proud of the role I have played in the Government, both as Schools Minister and as Secretary of State.
In many ways, I feel I have achieved more in the first job than I have in the second. I've learned what I'm good at and also what I'm less good at. I'm good at dealing with the issues and in communicating to the teaching profession. I am less good at strategic management of a huge department and I am not good at dealing with the modern media. All this has meant that with some of the recent situations I have been involved in, I have not felt I have been as effective as I should be, or as effective as you need me to be.
You were kind enough to say you wanted me to think about it further overnight and be absolutely sure that this is what I want to do. I have done so, and it is.
I will look back with real pride at the role I have played in helping to raise standards in literacy and numeracy in primary schools, in the reform programme we now have for secondary schools, and indeed at all levels of education; and perhaps above all the enhanced status of the teaching profession. But I feel this is the right decision for me, and for the Government.
I also want to thank you personally for giving me the chance to serve in the Cabinet and also for being so considerate and understanding.
I believe passionately in what this Labour Government is trying to do and I will continue to support you in whatever way I can.
Best Wishes, Estelle Morris.
Dear ?
It is with much regret that I must resign to pursue a career with a much younger crowd. I have in my mind confirmed my real inner feelings so :-
At first I was trained
I was certified
Kept thinking I could never work
without _ _ E by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on (Literally!)
and so I quit
from _ _ _ _ _
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid job
I should have written a better CV
If I had known for just one second
I would be quitting _ _ E.
Go now go
I'm out the door
Just turn around now
'cause you're not working anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to tempt me with _ _ _
You think I'd crumble
You think I'd give in and lie
Oh no, not I
I will resign
as long as I know how to code
I know I will stay in line
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my brains to give
and I'll resign
It took all the strength I had not to disappear
kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken career
and so I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to try
Now I hold my breath and Lie!
And now you see
Somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
Still working alongside you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to email
now I'm saving all my knowledge
for someone who's paying me,
........more money!!!!!
- I Will Resign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Regards,
Dear Kristen
This is a quick note to let you know that it is with regret that I tender my resignation from 
. We have known each other for 3 years now so I feel I should be honest with you about everything.
Some damaging allegations are about to be made against me although this is nothing to do with the missing scouring pads or the hair on my shoulders. These rumours do not denigrate the professionalism I show in my work or reflect the standard of my washing up. They do however, undermine my overall (not apron) standing within this organisation. I suppose this letter is one of confession.
First, I confess that I am a serial philanderer. I can’t help it. I love flirting with people, love seeing the signs of amorousness aroused, love seeing pupils dilating, lips pouting, smiles forming, handcuffs coming out and the sound of videotapes rewinding. Seeing a persons tongue hanging out when I walk past is also gratifying.
It is with a mixture of pride and shame that I confess that I have slept with everyone at . It all started on my first day in your employ with Estelle, the new waitress who joined at the same time as me. She managed only 3 days because she was always too tired the poor girl. John the Fish waiter was next – great shag but boy, did he reek. After a number of other encounters with more of the waiting staff, I moved on to the kitchen, most memorably, doing it with Thomas in the oven (he wore his Ray Bans) and with Jess in the walk-in fridge (as you may remember she developed pneumonia and had to call it a day). I had a lot of fun with the other washer-uppers as well (water is so erotic) and we often finished off the day with a quick gang spin in the dishwasher used for pots and other utensils.
Over time, I gradually developed a taste for the finer things in life and moved on to our Maitre D, Robert, who fit me in when business was quiet one day. Robert and I were disgustingly happy for eight months and I'd like to think that we managed to christen every table on the first floor and most of the ones on the second too. However, our late-night rompings finally came to an end one day when Mr M. found us tucked away behind the fountain on the east-side. I urged him, begged him not to fire me and finally managed to make him see sense, that is, he sensed that he could manage me on most days before breakfast (his relationship with his wife was in terminal free-fall).
I promptly dumped Robert and set to with the Boss. He is so charming and such a gentleman. He took me out for breakfast and later, dinner, so many times and never let me pay for anything. We took trips to Italy to shop at Gucci and to New York to see Broadway shows (such plush seats, perfect for pre-show entertainment). We had dinner parties and talked about the Arts, Culture and philosophy. I have been known to have some pretty profound thoughts myself from time to time although mine invariably involve a Spanish air stewardess and a hammock. Things went swimmingly. I even met the President of Rough’n’Ready (I've changed the name but its just as inspiring) Condoms who gave me the honour of demonstrating his new line (they come with extra gonad support) and asked me whether I wanted to feature in their latest ad campaign.
And so, finally, we come to the present. Mr M and I had been fighting a lot, mainly about small things (he has a complex but I never complained) and about how I was always too busy to see him (you'll notice I never took any time off work in 3 years). Things came to a head (don’t read anything into that) and he asked me to marry him. As flattered as I was, I had to refuse: he wanted too much of me.
As you can imagine, Mr M. got terribly upset and then he became angry and irrational. He said that he was going to tell all the staff that I had been screwing the customers which, as you know, is strictly against the restaurant’s Mission Statement (paragraph 3.2 "I will not screw the restaurant’s customers"). This is a complete lie and I am shaken that he could try and slander my reputation in this way.
It is for these reasons, I feel I must go and save myself the embarrassment of facing up to these accusations. There are many other restaurants out there and I dare say many more fish in the sea.
I wish you all the best.
PS I am considering taking up the offer from Rough’n’Ready condoms but I feel I need a bit more practice. Any suggestions?
Dear ,
This is to inform you that "you sucks".
Especially when you tell me that you & your dear wife thinks that I wont be able to do sales for this company.
When you tell P and other students that they didn’t have Tapanyaki dishes because they cannot afford it.
When you tell others how only you can afford Gucci Shirt & Omega watch
When you buy $1000 camera just for fun and you don’t have money to pay your employees' expenses.
When you don’t listen to anybody (which is usually the case) and say things which you cannot repeat yourself.
When you try to be friendly (while saying your pay has been reduced by 50%).
When in any party you want to be center of attraction and if by chance somebody else is getting recognition, you make sure to put that person in dirt & get angry.
When you tell your employee that they have to complete all work... otherwise they will die.
When you tell us that because you are paying we are able to feed our children.
When you ask how much we spend on eating, traveling, clothing & amusement before calculating our take home pay (I wonder why you never asked about my condom bills?).
When in delivering any speech you talk "I, I, I, I, I, I and I".
When you tell people not to speak because their English is atrocious.
When you add all your airfares, golf and dinner expenses to the company's account.
When you take your idiot wife to the concerts & conferences sponsored by our company.
When you appoint your idiot wife chief financial officer (who does not even know how to calculate percentages).
When you try to tell me that I have to extend my visiting card to the client I am visiting (For gods sake - I have done an MBA!).
Finally, I have to say that this place has eaten one year of my life and I am fully responsible for it, but you are the one who makes everyone’s life miserable.
You sucks & you stink like rotten pig.
Hate is a small word to describe my feeling for you.
Hope to see you bankrupt soon (which is inevitable).
I am resigning...
Submitted with due hatred
SK
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