| Thank you for taking the time to come here and learn more about pregnancy and infant loss. This is something that is very near and dear to my heart. Please take the time to look over this page and visit the following sites. They provide wonderful information and support regarding the loss of a child. |
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| Welcome |
| General Information |
| Things to Do and Things Not to Do - A Friends and Family Guide - |
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| Acknoweldgement of the child's life is very important to parents who have lost a child. In such a sad time when a parent is trying to come to terms with the loss having people act like the child didn't exist is one of the hardest things to accept. Don't worry about hurting or upsetting your loved ones. They already hurt and always will. Offer support by saying things such as "I'm sorry you lost your baby. I'm sorry you hurt. I know you miss your baby. What can I do to help." Listen to your loved one. Sometimes a grieving person just needs to talk - no strings attached with few comments from you necessary. Send a card or some flowers. Offer your help by bringing over dinner, tending to other children, or cleaning up the house. During the early days of grieving, even the simplest tasks are overwhelming. Don't forget about the fathers. Often times they get overlooked as they try to support the moms. They need support and understanding as well. Remember the parents on Mother's and Father's Day. These two occassions are especially painful for parents who have lost babies. Ask about the baby. Parents who lose a child during the later stages of pregnancy or soon after birth often feel like they aren't able to share the wonder of their child. Ask how big the baby was, what color eyes she had, ect. The lives of your loved ones changed drastically once they lost their baby. They will never be the same. The loss of the child is real and overwhelming. The pain will diminish after time, but it never goes away. . |
| The worst thing to do is nothing and act like it never happened. This causes so much pain on the grieving parents. Parents want their children to be remembered, loved, and missed. Refrain from any of the following or similar phrases: - It was for the best. - It was God's will. - At least you weren't far along. - Better now than later. - There must have been something wrong with the baby. - You can always have another. - Don't worry, you are still young and have plenty of time. - You will get over it in a few days/weeks/months. - I know how you feel (unless you have lost a child, you don't!). - I lost a dog, I know how you feel. . |
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| If you don't already know someone who lost a baby during pregnancy or infancy, chances are someday you will. Losing a child is devestating. In one instant, all your plans and dreams for that child are gone. In a society where many don't seem to value the lives of our littlest citizens, many parents are left feeling alone in their grief. The following information is taken from the Haloes website: "Each year over half a million dreams are shattered. Out of 3.3 million babies born alive, some 30,000 die during the first 28 days. Another 39,000 babies are stillborn. Miscarriage occurs in 15 to 20 percent of pregnancies, while ectopic pregnancies occur in about 1 percent." |
| Kind Words Author Unknown Nobody asked how much she weighed Or the color of her eyes Nobody asked who she looked like or if we ever heard her cry. Nobody wanted to talk about her No one knew what to say They want to pretend she didn't exist, They think that's the easiest way. The funny thing is, that isn't true (and you may disagree) But I don't mind being asked about her, I love to talk about Jennifer. Just a few words of what to say If the need should arise again: "What can I do to comfort you?" "Is now a good time to come for a visit?" "Would you like to get out for awhile?" "I'm sorry about your precious baby?" "I know you miss your baby." And don't forget as time goes on To metion her with a little word. There's a certain kind of comfort for us Just to know that she is remembered. |
| Remembering Author - Elizabeth Dent Go ahead and mention my child The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further, The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry, I'm crying already inside. Help me to heal by releasing, The tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending he didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Know that he has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine." But healing is something ongoing, I feel it will take a lifetime. |
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