My Dog Does My Homework

My dog does my homework

at home every night.

He answers each question

and gets them all right.

There's only one problem

with homework by Rover.

I can't turn in work

that's been slobbered all over.

I Wrote Myself a Letter

I wrote myself a letter.

I mailed it right away.

And, sure enough, the carrier,

delivered it today.

I couldn't wait to get it.

I nearly had to shout.

I quickly tore the envelope

and pulled the letter out.

I anxiously unfolded it

but now I must concede,

I'm clueless as to what it says.

I haven't learned to read.

I'm building a rocket.

As soon as I'm done

I'm taking my friends

on a trip to the sun.

But what to you mean

that the sun is too hot?

Oh well, I suppose

I'll just pick a new spot.

I'm building a rocket.

I'm finishing soon

and taking my friends

on a trip to the moon!

But what do you mean

that the moon has no air?

Well dang, then I guess

that we can't go up there.

I'm building a rocket.

It's going to fly.

I'm taking my friends

way up high in the sky.

But what do you mean

when you ask how we'll land?

This rocket is harder

to build than I planned.

To heck with the rocket.

It's out in the shed.

I'm taking my friends

out for pizza instead.

I must have been too sleepy

getting dressed for school today.

I tried to tuck my shirt in

but I couldn't make it stay.

I also couldn't tie my shoes.

I fumbled with the laces.

I snagged my scarf and now some yarn

is dangling from my braces.

My socks are different colors

and my pants are inside-out.

My sweater from the hamper left me

smelling like a trout.

I thought I put a hat on

to control my crazy hair.

The hat turned out to be a pair

of purple underwear.

I spilled my breakfast on my clothes

and headed into school.

My friends, of course, were all impressed.

I've never looked so cool.