Serif, in 65% grey with acres of white space. Clean, but predictable - legible, but safe. I don't want to be trapped in a rut however beautiful and classically reliable that rut may be, and Kanji has taught me that illegibility can too be beautiful. Not that I was blissfully ignorant of this fact, but why make work for yourself by dealing with the illegible?

As I enter into my 9th month in Japan I suddenly realize that without knowing it I have in fact absorbed Kanji and I am becoming more and more comfortable with its organization. The first time that this epiphany made itself apparent to me was when I was able to write the Kanji for my car brand… 'Honda'. Probably the world's two easiest Kanji. I still cannot envision that I will ever understand how an entire line of Kanji can be read and understood without particles, as there is no Kanji for 'is' and 'and' to the best of my knowledge. I must therefore assume that it reads like a grammatically incorrect sentence. But maybe that presumption is a drop in the bucket of my ignorance.

Maybe being a designer has after all aided me to some degree in the memorization of Kanji but it is no walk in the park! I do know one thing for certain, the threads of the cocoon have started to loosen ever so slightly and the light of comprehension is shining from the inside out. Every so often I glimpse in and something new dawns on me, but it is an uphill struggle and this light, beautiful as it is can also blind and overwhelm.

I am starting to loosen my grip and realize that Kanji and Japanese, though attractive, are ephemeral, and if I let it go it will not be lost to me. I have cleared my apartment of all the Kanji that was starting to clutter up my life and in doing so I have developed a feeling for what is worth keeping and what it not. I have become selective in my Kanji stockpile and to be able to recognize what is disposable, for me, is a step forward in the Japanese learning process.

For the start of this new school year I have made a promise to myself that I will not allow Kanji to daunt me or make me feel ignorant as one must bear in mind that most Japanese people are still stuck on the Kanji learning curve. Sure, they have a sizeable head-start and for the most part, scoff at my efforts, but their desire to speak English is greater than my desire to speak Japanese. This could be the beginnings of a superiority complex that will make me feel slightly less humble, as on the desk, right beside the Kanji Dictionary, there is a well-worn English Dictionary…and I understand nearly every word.