 
Wow! Look at
those beautiful dishes in all their fortuitous grandure. Yep, we
did those ourselves, but if you follow these easy steps, you can
make your own.
Our definition
of pottery is the ability to take soil from the earth and making
something beautiful like Trunks and Gohan. In a way, you feel like
God, creating Adam and Eve from the dirt and transforming it into
something higher and sexy.
There are several different types of clay, each having its own unique
feel and purpose. However, we discovered that to make the finest
pottery, the choice of clay is arbitrary. All you need are three
simple things: Patrick Swayze, a used muddy pottery wheel, and Unchained
Melody playing in the background.
After forming your pottery with the help of Patrick Swayze's warm
strong arms, its time to light the fire! Sit back and watch as it
grows harder with every passing minute.
At this point your pottery is now called biskware, even though it's
naked. Wait until it cools down before you touch it again, otherwise
you will find yourself without skin on your fingertips.
Now you are ready to cover it with your special glazes. There are
different types of glazes including matte and high-gloss. For a
hard, rough look, go for matte. But if you prefer the smooth wet
look, then go for high-gloss.
There is no limit to what you can do with the glazes, however it
is recommended to do a preliminary sketch of your innermost desire
before you paint it. As tough as it is made to sound, lead cannot
stand the heat, and will burn off when in the kiln.
After you have captured Trunks' homosexuality and Gohan's thug appeal
with a pencil twice his size, its time to show their true colors.
Don't be shy! What's good about these glazes is that they are not
permanent. If you accidentally made Gohan look too dark and handsome,
or if Trunks' hair just isn't flaming enough, simply wash it off
and start over.
At this point their sexiness should be too much to handle, so you
have to put them in the kiln for three days. We know, we know, but
trust us, it is well worth the wait. Besides, we are champions at
abstaining from pleasureable things.
After they have hardened and cooled down, they are ready to be loved.
We welcomed our dishes into our home by licking a custard pie off
of their adorable faces.
The best part is they are microwave and dishwasher safe. So if you
have a craving for a hot pocket, Gohan can heat them on his huge
pectorals. And if you are having trouble licking off all the BBQ
sauce from the ribs that rested on Trunks' face, just toss his dirty
ass in the dishwasher without worries. A Maytag is no match for
this Super Saiyan. |
