01-04-2003: The wonders of being a kunoichi

I come to school early everyday because the bus is early. I just spend my time waiting for my first class to start in the ‘study room’, it happens to be next to the ‘teachers’ room’. Today I couldn’t help but overhearing a conversation. It was about the test period that just ended and the teachers were complaining about the results. Then the conversation jumped to the geography test of HAVO 5 (that’s basically my level of school) and this conversation got interesting for me.

The thing was, this test was too long for most students (although I finished it within the time) and has to be taken over at the end of this week. They said that it was a ridiculous decision, and we students are always lazy and always getting bad results (I must say, I don’t fit that description…). Is it just me, or do those people really disrespect us here?! The guy who said that happened to be my Economics teacher from last year, I always got bad grades with him, now I have another teacher and better grades!

I soon forgot about what I heard when my Math teacher arrived and I found out I did the Math test really well, I was so worried about it. I still think that I’m capable of less then I actually am, my senpai told me that once too, after successfully making a ‘flying’ forward roll. After all this I actually think I might actually make a good kunoichi; not only do I know the moves, I can also eavesdrop on other peoples conversations.

As for school, in week 17 my last drawing must be done, I’m working on the report for art class now, and I may well be able to finish it end of this week. The drawing I’m just gonna do on a small size; It’s a landscape of Kyoto . I hope all will be finished in time, but I’ve learned today that I shouldn’t worry myself too much.  

07-04-2003 :

My current mood is happy and a bit stressed, like I said before, that always comes after the test periods. I don’t have the feeling I can be happy though, because so many people around me aren’t.

I’m dreaming of the future rather than the past, that is what makes me happy; I’m so looking forward to the time after my exams, I want to stop ‘running’ for a while, take a good break. The fact is I’m doing pretty well in school; the grades from the test period also count for the exams. Since the last period is over, I now know where I stand, and I stand pretty good! The result is that my parents don’t complain, and life’s pretty easy for me right now. It’s not that long ago that it wasn’t…

Last year I decided to take a step back with school, the level was just too high for me. You could say I was on the highest school-level existing here, and I wasn’t doing too well. My parents got really mad at me, and I was scared, stressed and sad at the same time. I got yelled at so bad I had to retreat myself in a quiet corner, let my tears run and catch my breath. I just started ninja training then, and that’s how I found a use for the chi-meditation. Then I found some photo albums and looked at them for a while, on the pictures I was still a little kid. I didn’t remember any of those events. My parents also seemed happy with me there, how could those pictures be real!? I had the feeling everybody hated me at that moment. 

It was possible for me to do the exams on the second highest level, and I took that opportunity. Passing my exams on this level will still be enough for me to study TMA, so it was the best option. So, this year I started in a new class on a new level. I found out that with even a little effort I was able to bring in good grades, and I only stepped back 1 level! But still, every time I gat a good grade I’m still very grateful and surprised; my classmates don’t seem surprised anymore; maybe annoyed even. I always have to think of what Shiro once said to me after my first good grade for a math test this year: ‘Either you’re good or the rest of the class is real bad at it’ ^^;; I’m still thinking about it! =P

I feel like I have regained my self-confidence. I guess that is also because I started ninja training. The very first time I went there was before the summer break. I took two try-out lessons, and I had so much fun that after the first one I immediately decided to go again. All the people seemed nice, and the senpai just had a way of motivating me. Besides, I always wanted to do a martial art but never got around doing it. Lelie told me her brother used to do ninja, and that’s basically how I first got interested. The next season I really started. I was surprised Lelie asked about it in the summer and that she would also take up ninja. I mean; we just became friends, and she left school already, so ninja was a way to keep seeing each other. Later she also got interested in TMA, so we might even go back to school together again ^^;; Ninja training has been great to build self confidence. That reflects on my performance on school. I got a few new goals in life; to study TMA and go to Japan , and to come as far as I can with ninjutsu. I’m now looking back on how something bad can turn out good, and as I see the future now; it’s pretty bright!

16-04-2003 Cable modem day (yay!)

Today (actually yesterday already) we got cable modem. That means, from now on, I can be online non-stop if I want to! Only ‘cable modem day’ was also Wednesday, so I had to go to ninja practice instead of being online. Before training, I went to Lelie’s as usual, and she let me borrow some of her 166 anime DVD’s ^^;; Let’s see I have:

• Rurouni Kenshin ~ Seishou Hen

• Ninja resurrection

• Wrath of the ninja

• 6 DVD’s of Trigun

I also borrowed volume 2 of the Rurouni Kenshin series, but Lelie already had those before the 166 others.

Ninja was fun, Lelie and I got to practice a cool grip on each other. I was a warm day so we trained in our gi-pants and dojo t-shirts (and white belt). Next week will be randori again. (free fight, and maybe even a ninja role-play!)

My weapons; bokken (sword), kama (small scythe) and yawarabo I will also get next week. It would be this week, but our ‘ninja head office’ didn’t get them in today. By the way; last week, we had a new senpai: Fabian, a black belt (1^st Dan). His warm up was okay, but I’m glad senpai Sander was here again this time (he’s one of my favorite senpai).

Lelie was thinking maybe Fabian would take our group over from Graham. Luckily, this doesn’t seem to be so, because I like Graham better (even with bald head =P) he is fun to listen to, and I really admire him.

So far for ninja… Next weekend I’m going to Lelie’s again (she’s gonna have her arm tattooed, and I’m going along for company). For some reason I like some time ‘off’ like this. At Lelie’s, it’s so much different than here. Her family’s bigger than mine and don’t forget her 2 cats, those are more active than my hamster… yet it’s a lot more tranquil there for me. I have no parents telling me to study for my exams or stuff like that. Also no annoying brother of mine that wants to use the computer every time I’m on it -.-;

Lelie has her own computer on her room and spends most of her time there; it’s not like that at my place. However, when I pass my exams maybe I’ll get a computer of my very own, that would be the perfect solution, another reason to pass my exams, but I can’t put myself to study… so boring… and I know most of the stuff. 

*sigh* I wish I didn’t have to study to pass, I wish I was some kind of genius. What I really need now is for someone to say to me that it will all be okay…   

23-04-2003: (Insert title here x x;)

I’m enjoying my cable modem, it seems to work. The good thing is that I can be online more often and I can chat with my friends (who are probably the only ones reading this) more often. The cable modem does disconnect on me sometimes, though… And my brother plays games all the time now -.-;

Nothing in particular happened this week, it was pretty boring. I had a few days off with Easter, and now I have school again, most people I know have more days off. School is boring; I only go to the important subjects for exam training. I finished art class =P I like drawing, but I rather do it for myself than for school. Now I just have to pass my exams, which are in the 3^rd week of May *sighs* after that, May the 31^st and June the 1^st, there’s ninja camp *bounces* I’m really looking forward to that!

Again I watched a lot of DVD’s lately, mainly Trigun. Rurouni Kenshin Seishou Hen was also a very nice movie. I have already watched 5 out of the 6 Trigun DVD’s ^^;; I can watch the entire series!

I’m also wearing my gi again, because I have ninja tonight. I hope this time I get my weapons! I wonder what it’ll be like this time...

Senpai Fabian was there again. This time I didn’t like his warming up. He made us, innocent kunoichi (*cough*) pay for people who didn’t bring their weapons and passes ;_;

After warming-up, the group splits in two, the ropes and white belts (10^th kyu) train with a senpai and the 9^th kyu and up train with another senpai. Senpai Mark said something about the white belts who wanted to train with the other group, could do so. Lelie didn’t hear, so we joined the ropes and other white belts. Fabian was our senpai, because Graham was giving an exam to someone. Lelie and I did pretty good, and we’re thinking of joining the other group next time…

I got my weapons ^^;; There’s the bokken (wooden sword) the kama (small scythe, wooden) and the foam yawarabo (a foam baton) that last one can still hurt someone, even if it is made out of foam >.< (Lelie hit me on the head with it).

Friday I’m gonna go to Lelie’s, because Saturday, she’s gonna have her arm tattooed. She also got me ‘balance balls’ which is a… thingy! x x;  I showed most of you anyway ^^;; Since I now don’t have to cam e to school anymore until the exams start, I’m planning to make it a nice and relaxed weekend, and I’ll leave the worrying for later.

27-04-2003 : My weekend off

This weekend I spent at Lelie’s. I went there Friday evening. We were gonna watch a friend of hers who had her tattoo changed, so that she could see what it was like before she went to get one herself on Saturday. Lelie had an appointment for 11 am the next morning and it took about 2 hours to get there, we used public transport. We had no problems along the way and arrived there at 10:55 . Well, Lelie got her tattoo; Japanese kanji for ‘Lily’ which is the meaning of her real name. The trip back also went okay, I must say, the public transport here isn’t that good, but this time I have nothing to complain about.

Lelie said it didn’t hurt and it’s starting to heal already, I think the tattoo came out nicely ^^;; Well, back at her place we decided to watch ‘The Slayers’ from her DVD collection, she had 3 DVD’s of ‘The Slayers’ and it turned out that it was the entire series. It was so much fun! We couldn’t watch everything in one day, so we watched the rest on Sunday. We also watched some other anime ^^;;

I took the bus home at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. My parents were kinda pissed because they thought I would come home earlier. I just got home and they already began to annoy me again, that could have been better… I unpacked my ‘balance balls’ which I left in the package so it wouldn’t be damaged. I’m gonna get so addicted to that thing @_@

My brother was on the computer (as he was the entire weekend) and I said I wanted some time after dinner. I just was on for one hour when I heard him stumble up the stairs and he said he wanted to go on the computer again. Don’t you just hate that?! So unfair too! I refused to go away, and just kept chatting. Everybody was online at the time! After that I chatted a while with everyone in a chat box. I was having a great time.

My brother again… I swear I’m gonna lose my self control one day and *edited* Anyway, I got some inspiration, so I finished an art. Now I’ve just have to find a nice background, which is not that easy… It will take some time to finish it with everyone here telling me to study or get of the computer *sighs* I already explained why I think it’s so nice to stay at Lelie’s from time to time. Now I have to study for the exams, and there’s no ninja this week; how will I ever survive? (x x; I’ll get back to you on that one: ‘Will Saiya survive the horrible week of ultimate boredom?’ - To be continued)  

END APRIL