| A large, Victorian looking house with a thatched roof stands proudly on stage right, a cobblestone street runs in front of it. The landscaping around the house is very well kept; rose bushes line the front of the house. SANTO stands in front of the doorway to the house, he is nicely dressed. HUGO enters from stage left, dressed as a commoner, and approaches the door. SANTO stops him. SANTO Excuse me, sir, but what do you think you are doing? HUGO I must see Mr. Gudherre; I desperately need his help. SANTO I�m sorry, but Mr. Gudherre is not seeing anyone today. HUGO What do you mean he isn�t seeing anyone? He can see anybody, at anytime, why can he not see me, this instant? My situation cannot wait. SANTO I�m afraid all matters for Mr. Gudherre are to be brought to him though me from this point onward. HUGO By whose authority? SANTO By Mr. Gudherre himself. I have a mandate right here. SANTO reveals a paper, and shows it to HUGO. HUGO And why you? Why should you be the one we go through? SANTO Because, I was chosen by Mr. Gudherre. Thus, I have made it a rule that I am to bring all matters before him by myself. HUGO I see�and Mr. Gudherre really did tell you that you could do all this? SANTO You saw the mandate yourself. My rules are his rules. HUGO So I am to confide in you? (In disbelief) I must say I feel rather uncomfortable with this. SANTO You can take it or leave it. HUGO (Defeated) Very well, but this requires utmost confidence, understand? SANTO Absolutely, all issues to be taken up by Mr. Gudherre are confidential. HUGO Very well. This is my situation for which I need his advice. HUGO leans in and whispers something into SANTO�s ear, SANTO recoils in shock. SANTO My word, that is indeed troublesome. Well, I will see what can be done. HUGO Yes, go on, quickly now. SANTO disappears into the front door, returning after a brief moment. SANTO Mr. Gudherre has been made aware of your situation, and says that you should chant his name thirty times, and that once you have done so the problem will be resolved. HUGO What? You�ve got to be kidding me, how does that solve my problem? SANTO It is the answer of Mr. Gudherre. Now, sir, that will be ten dollars. HUGO Ten dollars? For what? SANTO For the guidance and wisdom of Mr. Gudherre, of course. HUGO You�re charging me money for advice?? And what�s more, that wasn�t even advice, it was nonsense. In fact, I�ll even bet you just made it up; you didn�t even talk to Mr. Gudherre did you? SANTO Now see here! I am appointed by Mr. Gudherre to communicate his advice, and to collect his due fee. Now, pay and cease this heresy. HUGO But you are a fraud! That wasn�t his advice, that was your own nonsense. I�m going in to speak to him myself. Stand aside. SANTO I shall not! Look here, this mandate declares me superior, my will shall be done and you shall not pass! SANTO once again produces the sheet of paper, showing it to HUGO, smugly. Satisfied? HUGO Wait a second�(observing the paper closely) that�s your own handwriting, Santo! I knew you were a fraud! Let me pass this instant! SANTO does not budge, despite HUGO�s desperate attempts to get around him. SANTO Please, Hugo, what makes you think someone like yourself is worthy of speaking to Mr. Gudherre, anyway? Do you honestly think he has time to speak to you, that you are at all capable of communicating at his level? Let it go, Hugo, for to think such things is heresy. HUGO Heresy? Is that another of your ridiculous ideas, Santo? SANTO Yes, and as punishment for this crime I will no longer relay your message to Gudherre until you make a public confession of your wrongdoings. You have been ostracized. HUGO falls to the ground out of frustration, infuriated by SANTO, and cries out. HUGO GUDHERRE!!! HUGO looks up to the top of the house, where the audience cannot see, his eyes light up, and he appears to be listening. Gudherre! You heard me! (pause) Yes, sir, I have a grave matter that needs your wisdom�yes�you already know what it is? Yes, that�s it. HUGO listens intently to an unheard voice, which, by the direction of his gaze, is coming from the upstairs window. SANTO Who are you talking to, there�s no one there, you crazy fool! Stop that at once, you are making a fool of yourself! HUGO Yes, thank you Mr. Gudherre, you have answered my question. HUGO stands up, looking refreshed and full of joy, he then looks triumphantly at SANTO. Looks like there is a way to talk to him after all. I�ll not be needing your services anymore, Santo, and nor shall anyone else. HUGO runs off stage, and after a few brief moments returns with a sign saying, �Mr. Santo is no longer necessary.� He nails the sign to the doorpost. Let the people decide. END |