You Wished Relena Where?!- Prologue
By Northstar
Disclaimer: I don't own labyrinth, so there. Story is mine though...
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In the castle beyond the Goblin City, Jareth, King of the Goblins, was sitting on his throne, bored out of his mind. Admiring his hair for the umpteenth time, he fervently wished for something to happen. Maybe a listian needed a visit. All of a sudden, Nark, one of Jareth's best goblin spies, hurried in.
Nark: Sir sir! There's a new listian in the group!
Jareth: What?! Oh great! Just what I need, another hormone driven teenager.
Nark: No sir! This one's not a teenager. She's twenty, and, impossible though it seems, she's SANE!
Jareth: Impossible! There is no such thing as a sane Listian.
Another goblin comes rushing in.
Goblin: Yer majesty! Its impossible, but HELL had just FROZEN!
Jareth: ::mouth dropping::You have got to be kidding...
Goblin: No sir!
Goblin #2 leaves.
Jareth: Nark, remain here. I think I need to check out this new Listian myself.
With that, the king turned into an owl and flew out the window.
Meanwhile- Northstar had just finally gotten the downstairs of her house cleaned. Looking at the clock, she found that she had just enough time to catch Ronin Warriors on Toonami.
Northstar: Finally clean! Maybe I should check my e-mail and see if I've gotten any new reviews on Trial By Fire.
All of a sudden, there is a huge flapping at the window next to her. Jumping up and shrieking, Northstar backs away, almost stepping on her tortoise shell-colored cat, Miko. Miko also begins screeching.
Northstar: ::observing the owl:: Oh my goddess! It can't be...can it?
The barn owl continues to flutter at the window, then gets attacked by a swarm of blue jays. Screeching bloody murder, the owl leaves the window. Northstar rushes to the deck door and opens it.
Northstar: Hey, birdbait! Get in here before you get yourself killed! And be quiet, because I can't give my grandma another reason to send me to a psychiatrist!
The owl flutters in through the door, and Northstar closes it just as bluejays from hell crash into the door. The owl lands on the back of Northstar's mom's computer chair. In a burst of glitter, it changes to the form of the Goblin King.
Jareth: Thank you, my dear! Those blue jays were about to kill me.
Northstar just stands there looking at the glitter all over her brown carpet.
Northstar: I just vacuumed, so thank you very much, your majesty!
Smirking, the royal tights sat in the computer chair.
Jareth: Now now, that isn't any way for a listian to speak to her king, is it? And here I came to see you because hell has frozen over.
Northstar: Oh? You mean I'm the only sane listian around?
Jareth: Yes, indeed. I never would have believed it though--
Northstar: Well, don't. You see, Hell is going through a cold season now- It IS winter- so don't underestimate me, 'kay?
Northstar walks past him and sits down at her laptop, grumbling over the loose spacebar on the keypad. Jareth just stares, doing his best impressing of an anime face-vault.
Northstar: Now, what do you want? I'm busy here, you know. Fanfics don't write themselves.
Jareth: My dear, I think you sell yourself short. That piece of yours, Trial by Fire, was quite good for a beginner.
Northstar snorts, then turns her computer on.
Northstar: Keep going, flattery will get you good fics!
Tights smirked again and walked over to look over Northstar's shoulder.
Jareth: Of Diviners and Goblins? You're already working on a sequal?
Northstar: Actually, the sequal is finished, I'm just doing some last minute spell checking.
Jareth: Uh, that's impressive. May I ask how long it took you to write the two fics?
Northstar: ::negligently::Oh,just a little over a week.
Jareth does a second impression of an anime character by sweatdropping. Northstar continues to ignore him and keeps proofreading.
Jareth: Well, um, you appear sane enough...
Northstar finally turns around and gives him a Heero Yuy type glare. Just then, a young man dressed in spandex and a tank top appears in the middle of the room, then looks at Tights and draws a gun from..somewhere.
Kid: Nani?
Northstar: Heero! Daijobu ka?
Heero: Ah. Daijobu. Dorothy-sama and Relena-sama are at it again. I thought you wouldn't want blood all over the castle's floor again.
Northstar sighs. Then looks at Jareth.
Northstar: If you will excuse me, I need to go break up a cat fight. It won't take long, so make yourself comfortable, your majesty.
With that, Northstar and Heero disappear. Jareth just stands there, not saying a word, then begins playing with the laptop. Ten minutes later, a very frazzled Northstar reappears.
Northstar: Jareth! Get away from my computer before you wreck it! The poor thing has already been damaged enough!
Tights just puts up and eyebrow, and drops a crystal on the keyboard.
Jareth: Hmmm. I have a few revisions for the sequal of yours.
Northstar: No! My story, gloves off!
Jareth: ::frowning:: Northstar, don't defy me!
The crystal becomes a very crumbly-looking peice of bread. Northstar pales, then steps back.
Northstar: Don't you even dare, Jareth.
Jareth: Then make the revisions I want.
Northstar fidgets, then looks at her laptop in desperation.
Northstar: It's too late. I've already posted the sequal on my website!
Jareth: You have thirteen hours to fix this, or the laptop dies.
With that, his royal bastardness leaves in another shower of glitter. Northstar grits her teeth in anger. An evil idea comes to her for another fanfic.
Northstar: Hmmm. I think it's time for the Perfect Soldier and Shinigami to meet Jareth...
Northstar begins typing away, a very--um---unstable look on her face. Maniacal giggling is heard and a cat begins to screech. So much for a sane listian...
Coming Soon to a Mailing List near you:
"The Goblin King meets the Queen of the World"
or
"What Happenes When Duo Maxwell, the God of Death, Gets Majorly Annoyed-- aside from blowing things up!"