Jace the Grinch
Sung to the tune of: You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
Drunkenly hummed by Gwyn while she's passed out... again.

*Low stage lights illuminate the stage and Gwyn is sitting in a big cushy red 
chair, obviously sloshed already. There's some really cheesy Christmas 
background and a large bowl of eggnog to boot.*

You're a mean one, Jace you b*tch.
You're a steely, grungey whore!
You've got the personality of a sweatsock, and your threats are such a bore,
Jace you B^tch.

You're nasty ass is soo nasty that you're nicname is a disgusted "DAMN!"

*music plays dandily as Gwyn pauses to down some eggnog and rumcake*

Hey it's Christmas, Mrs. Grinch.
Bet you didn't even know. *spills drink accusingly*
But its okay 'cause no one likes you. You're own team thinks youre a ho,
Jace the B#tch

Plan on being beaten, this Christmas, with a thirtynine and a half foot pole. 
Though I'm the only one *hic* who'll get that close. Nyah, you suck.

*Finishes the eggnog*

You're a dis-ease, Friggin' Bitch
But no worries, I got the cure.
No wonder ya don't have a guardian, or you might have killed him - I'm not sure
Jace the Grinch!

You are -so- a three decker saurekraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic 
sauce!

(Here come some classic lines! "Classic" being American for ripped off, of 
course.)

You nauseate me, Jace the Grinch.
With a nauseous super "naus"!
And you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, 
Ms little Bitch.

Given the choice between the two of you, I'd have the seasick crocodile eat 
you, and then not choose it. 

*peers wobbily into the empty punch bowl*

*yells* Who drank all my eggnog!!

*The others characters look confused but Lissie grins and points at Jace*

I will kill you, Jace you bitch,
You drank all my alcohol!
I'm gonna rip apart you're insides, and see if I find a soul,
Jace You GRINCH

*Begins to stalk slowly over with a snarl*

You're dead meat, Jace the Bitch.
You're death will be utterly gross.
We know that everyone hates you, but remember who hates you most,
Soon-to-be-dead Bitch.

The best three words that I can think of to describe you are as follows, and 
I quote,
"Stink, Stank - "

*Loud crash as Gwyn falls of the stage*

*...stunk".