Gwyn Kelly Is Coming To Town
Sung to the tune of: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Sung by Jace Kellen

Better watch out, better hide up your beer,
'Cause an ugly drunkard 
Is co-o-ming here
Gwyn Kell-y is coming to town!

She's making The List, with a million names,
All that whiskey 
Turned her brain
Gwyn Kell-y is coming to town!

She's got a slutty outfit
Like a LADY OF THE NIGHT!
When she's Sailor Fortuna
She gives me one helluva fright 
('cause she's so damn uglyyy...)

Wade: That don' fit.

Jace: Shut the hell up!

Better watch out, or you'll become blind,
An uglier blonde
There's never to find (except maybe for Leta)
Gwyn Kell-y is coming to tooooown!