Sidestory:
Hanging By A Thread
by Tami and Chris
Alix Sebastien Schlatter sometimes wondered very momentarily how many other boys were sent out by their fathers for character-building escapades, especially ones that took place in nursing homes. Well, not a nursing home that time, which may have been a relief, but out in the park when the nursing home was having a picnic. Of course, he couldn't visit his grandparents very often, and had never even laid eyes upon his mother's set - but this still did not explain why his father thought moral fiber could be found with old people. Thankfully, tender-hearted Alix usually loved everybody, trusted Orell implicitly, and took comfort in the fact that he wouldn't get bored - he had the attention span all the size of a marshmallow and would find something else to focus on inside his fluffy blonde head.
Besides, maybe the old people would be cool. There'd been an old man across from their school who used to throw things at the children. He had a lot of cats. He had been the coolest old guy Alix had ever known.
He shrugged the backpack on his back into a different position, causing a piteous meow from it. His cat didn't like being jolted. "Don't worry, Ottar, it won't be for long. Besides, you can be all cute and entertain the old people."
"I hate you," Ottar growled. "I hate your father."
The little blonde let as much trembling despair come into his voice as was humanly possible. "You hate me?"
"... well, no, but - "
"Oh, good." Alix beamed, walking along the streets, listening to the honking traffic. "You'll enjoy it."
Ottar sighed.
One corner of the park, the flattest and what appeared to be the safest bit, had been taken over by several people with wheelchairs, walkers and canes and some very frantic looking caretakers. Little old ladies were gathered around fold-up tables, chatting in the shade of a large tree about their latest medical problem or what their grandchildren had done within the past ten years. On a bench a couple of old men sat, barely moving but to point at younger people running by and commenting on how when they were young, they'd have never acted like that. One lady seemed to be having a very involved conversation with the woman next to her, who'd been asleep ever since the conversation began.
Gossip from the last sixty years of Rome fluttered through the air like butterflies. "Oh, goodness, do you remember that time with the Cardinal and the housewife back in '61? What a scandal that was!" "We were the first family on the block to get electricity." "No, no, no, it was Sophia, not Amelia who had the affair with the Russian, Amelia had an affair with the Bulgarian." The whole social circle of Rome from fifty years ago was suddenly brought back into the light for a few precious moments, before it scurried away because of a new topic - chicken.
The lunch was passed out, and talk turned to the meal, as these things tended to do. "Oh, it was just the most delicious chicken I've ever had." "No, no, this is too dry, who would make chicken like that?" "Chicken, I thought we were supposed to have a beef dish..."
All in all, it seemed to be a very average outing to the park for a picnic. As average as it can get for a group from a nursing home, that is, and as average as one could get when June Giotto was involved; the crazy American woman who talks to dolls.
There was nothing overly remarkable about her � she had curly white hair, but then again so did half of the other ladies there. Her peaches and cream complexion was a bit paler than most, but there didn't seem to be anything special about her. Except for the fact that she seemed to know almost anyone from when they were little. And the fact that she talked to dolls; which is what she was doing just now, in fact.
She was sitting at a table, with a rag doll sitting at another place, having a very animated conversation about the meal. Apparently Betty, the doll, didn't like the meal as much as June was. The only other person sitting at the table was currently asleep in his mashed potatoes, so June was left to happily talk with Betty for as long as she pleased.
Alix eyed all the old people in bewilderment as he walked up to the first person who looked under fifty, hoping that he was part of the nursing home retinue. "Uh, ciao, I'm Alix Schlatter? My dad called earlier?"
A rather distracted looking young man with a couple of days of stubble on his chin turned around and looked down at the boy over his glasses. "Schlatter, Schlatter, oh yeah!" he said, and rummaged through some papers, all while trying to keep an eye on the residents and the little boy standing in front of him. "Your dad called and you're here for, ummm... betterment?"
The little blonde gave the young man a radiant grin. "Yeah. I'm being bettered. What can I do?"
"Well, you're little and cute enough, these old ladies would just eat you up. Imagine the amount of Polident they'd need for that..." he trailed off, and then turned his attention back to the boy in front of him. "Well, why don't you just find a table we've got set out where there aren't too many people sitting down and talk with them for a bit? Most of the residents we brought today aren't the crabby sort."
"Okay." Alix gave the man a bright smile. "I'll do that. Just call me if you want anything done that's, like, specific. Cool. I can talk. I'm great at talking."
"Good," smiled the aide. "Now, go off and hav..." His attention was suddenly taken by the site of a very wobbly man standing out of his wheelchair, and attempting to walk to another table. "STEPHANO!" he shouted and tore down the grass to where apparently Stephano was trying to walk.
"Alix," hissed his knapsack. "Among these wretched undead who should have been left on a cliff to die a long time ago, there is a senshi."
"What? Cool!" bubbled the nine-year-old. "An old-person senshi! Oh, that rocks. Can they fight with their dentures?"
Ottar sighed. It was very hard being a guardian sometimes. "Get your small, stupid behind over to that table, Lixen, the one on the far right. The old woman."
"There's a bunch of them here, Ottar."
"The one playing with the doll, mutant spawn! Do I make myself clear?"
"Sir! Yes, sir!" Alix happily started loping off in the direction of the assigned old lady. Looked like being bettered had its benefits.
"No, Betty, I've already told you you're not allowed to go out on dates until 2 am. That's far too late for anyone to be out and about, I'm sorry," said the old lady to her doll as the boy and his cat approached their table.
The woman paused as she apparently was listening to the doll respond, and then said, "Visitors, you say?" She turned from the doll and watched as the boy came up right next to her. "Why, aren't you just the most charming and most darling little angel? What can I do for you, dear?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes. June loved children, she loved most anything little and cute, really.
"Hi, ma'am," the little boy chirped, sitting down beside her, his large tea-colored eyes going particularly huge as he batted long fair lashes. One day, Alix Sebastien Schlatter was probably going to be a huge hit with women. "I'm Alix. I'm here to talk to the... residents." 'Old people' sounded rude. "Is that your doll?"
"Why, yes it is," June replied. "My granddaughter gave her to me when she was about your age. Now she's all grown up, and working... They grow up so fast, you know." June paused for a moment with a slightly sad look on her wrinkled face, then murmured, "Thank you, Betty." She turned her attention back to Alix and began studying his face a bit closer and said, "Her name is Betty and she keeps me company. You seem familiar, dear, do I know you from somewhere?"
"No, ma'am, I don't think so." Alix beamed at her, his long braid swaying. "I've never been to a nursing home before. I go to Castelli International because my papa's a teacher there. Where does your granddaughter work?"
His backpack meowed.
"My darling granddaughter Beatrice works in Milan, she's a waitress. Her twin brother lives in Milan, too. They used to be so little and... Yes, a cat!" June's face lit up like a Christmas tree, "I remember now! You were bathing your cat Oscar, and he didn't want a bath at all, and then you used what you thought was strawberry shampoo, but it was really, what was it... Ice cream syrup, yes, I remember it all now. And such a filthy mouth, whoever was ventriloquizing the cat." June nodded at Betty's apparent comment and beamed back at Alix.
The little boy stared back in openmouthed shock.
"Ottar," he said slowly, "and it was strawberry cordial."
"Well, you certainly can't expect an old lady to get all the details right, now can you? I'm quite old, my memory isn't what it used to be." June held up a plate with a cookie from her lunch on it, "cookie, dear?"
"Grazie," Alix said shyly, and munched on it. Ottar meowed again, irritably this time.
"All right, all right," the little blonde grumbled, and pulled the backpack around to open up the top. "You don't mind if my cat sits here, do you, ma'am?"
Ottar muttered curses.
"Why, no not at all. Seeing as how it's just you, me, and my sleeping tablemate, a kitty would be just lovely. Is it friendly, may I pet it?"
"Of course," Alix said cheerily, with a sunny underlying threat of what might happen if the cat wasn't friendly. The large, unhappy brown tomcat was deposited gently on the table, where he curled up and feigned death.
"Oh, what a darling, dear kitty..." June said, as she moved her old hands across its back, and tried to scratch behind his ears. "How lovely, lovely, you must bathe him every day, he's so soft and sweet and may I hold him?" June bubbled merrily. In the background, Stephano could be seen trying to elude the caretakers once more as he stood up and wobbled his way to freedom for all of five feet before he was stopped again and taken back to his wheelchair.
"Sure," Alix piped, heaving him down gently into June's lap. "There you go, ma'am. He's terribly friendly'n all, don't worry."
"I hate both of you," the cat growled. "Die, ancient crone, die."
June stared at the cat in her lap. Yes, the cat has spoken, but cats don't speak. So, what was going on here? June's mind raced to find a suitable answer. One came to her.
"Susan! Susan, how did you ever get out of your plastic bag, and where did you find such a realistic cat outfit? I want you out of that costume this instant and I'm taking you back home and putting you where you belong. Alix, I'm so sorry that she's troubled you, masquerading around as your pet like this." June patted Alix on the head and said, "We'll get this straightened out and find your kitty, don't you worry, dearie."
Alix went red. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "His name isn't Susan, ma'am, it's my cat Ottar, he's usually like this - "
"Insane yarn-spinner," the tomcat grunted. "Trust the gods to place Urd into the body of a withered corpse."
"Well, I never," exclaimed June. "I used to be younger, you know. I danced in the Follies," she simply said. "And cats don't talk; this must be Susan."
"I'm so, so sorry," the little boy stuttered, red-faced. "Ottar! Don't be so mean!"
"Of course I talk, hag," the cat said unpleasantly. "I am a man in a cat's body. Stop calling me Susan, Urd."
"Susan, you always were rude and foul-mouthed. Why, even when you stole that blanket from your mother and then dropped it in the fire, ruining it and almost setting the whole house on fire when you were only seven, you tried blaming it all on elves, and in the most disrespectful language to your mother as well."
"... I did not. That is a filthy lie." Ottar looked a bit nervous, which is hard for a cat. "Alix, don't listen to anything this aged witch-queen has to say."
"Ottar!"
"Oh, I know all about you, young lady. That time with the horses, letting them loose and then telling your parents the Geats did it, you've always been a trouble maker." June looked as serious as she could, which wasn't very, and said to Alix, "We shall have to take her back to the home."
"He's a boy cat," poor Alix said, very confused. "And, um, ma'am, he's probably got something to tell you."
"She's an aged crone. Let's just leave her to die."
"Ottar!"
June choose to humor the little boy. He was so confused, Susan had obviously confused him; she was sly like that. "Alright, what does he have to tell me, dear?" she asked of Alix.
"You are the reincarnation of the Crone, toothless one," Ottar interrupted. "You are Urd, eldest of the three who guard the Well. I also think you are extremely senile. You are a member of the Noord, those who fight for the allfather Odin."
"The only well that I've ever guarded was the one back on the farm," answered June. "And who is this Urd person? And Odin, isn't that margarine? Oh, wait, that's Oleo..."
Alix coughed politely. "Um, ma'am, is there anywhere where we might get some privacy? This stuff might come as a shock and we're not supposed to let anybody else see it..."
"Well, of course there's always the home... They let me shut my door, you know. Anyway, I'll need to take Betty and Susan back with me, but I wouldn't trust myself with carrying a cat. I'll need to have you take Susan back to the home with me. I'm sure they'll let you ride in the van, and it's such a short trip," June beamed.
"Okay!" the little blonde beamed, and then paused. "How long 'till then?"
"Oh, until we all finish eating our lunch. It shouldn't be too much longer, dear," she answered, and then pointed to her tablemate. He's got quite a bit to go, though. The man across from the talking cat moved his head a bit, mumbled something about statuary, then feel back asleep at his place.
"Okay!" Alix piped.
"Poison your food," Ottar grunted. "Euthanize the old people. Let them die on a misbegotten crag. It's how I wanted to go."
June placed Betty into her handbag, and looked around. She was still trying to figure out where Susan had managed to get her hands on such a convincing cat-suit. For that matter, how had she gotten out of the bag in the dresser so quickly? While she thought of this, one of the aides worked his way over to their table. "Hello!" she said cheerily.
"Hello, Mrs. Giotto," came the man's reply. It was the same person who'd directed Alex in the first place. "Are we all finished with our meal?
"Oh, yes, of course, I couldn't eat another bite if I tried," she smiled as he took her food away. "Oh, by the way," she called as he was taking the paper plates and plastic silverware to the trash, "Alix will be coming along with us back to the nursing home. I'm sure you can find him a seat, can't you?"
He looked at June's smiling face. There was something behind it that almost scared him, the way she seemed to be able to pick up on things. He was almost afraid to say no, so, "Of course, June," he answered.
"Thanks, sir," Alix piped happily. "I won't be a problem, I promise. Need any help?"
"No, that's just fine," he said. "You just sit there and talk with the residents like you're here to do, and I'll do what I`m here to do, okay?"
"He's such a nice young man," June said to Alix. "So polite, you know."
Alix nodded seriously. "Oh, yes."
The cat muttered beneath his breath.
The trip back to the nursing home was uneventful, as far as trips made in automobiles filled to the brim with old people can go. There were a few assertions of kidnapping by one lady, and an awful lot of naps, but after a short drive, they pulled into the `Our Lady of the Blessed Veil Home for the Aged.' It was run, as many things tended to be in Rome, by the Catholic Church, in some form or another. A nun or two flitted by as Alix followed the old people into the building, and deeper into the facility. A bevy of aides and assistants showed up, to escort the residents to their rooms. June, carrying Betty in one hand, and her cane in the other, hobbled off to her room, with Alix carrying "Susan" not far behind.
"Here we are!" beamed June, as the aide they were following opened a door, and ushered Alix and June into June's room. "Now, to get Susan out of that darn catsuit..." she said, as the aide shut the door behind her.
"I am not in a catsuit!" Ottar jumped out of Alix's arms. He was extremely pissed off. He had been taken for a ride in a van; he was upset; he wanted a mouse treat. "Listen to me, you aged crone, we are talking to you for a reason. You are - Gods know why - chosen as Sailor Urd, one of the Wellmaidens - the Norns."
"Them," Alix nodded affirmatively.
June looked at Alix as if she knew something that he didn't, then went to a side table, and got a small tin off of the shelf. "Susan gets cranky when she's hungry," and she then took a butter cookie, and shoved it into Ottar's mouth. "We'll see if she won't calm down now." The old lady beamed from ear to ear, and held the tin out to Alix, "Cookie, dear?"
Alix beamed and took one, murmuring thanks; but Ottar spat his out and glared at the woman as if he was about to fatally claw her. "Listen, you old dolt, say 'Urd Norn Power, Make-Up' or it'll be all the worse for you!"
"Well, I don't see why I should," she began, but then she saw the heart-rending sight of Alix looking like he was about to cry (he could play people like a fiddle). "Oh, well, for the boy, I suppose. Urd Norn Power..." A lone trumpet played from somewhere off in the distance. June blinked several times then shook her head, "yes, that's it. Urd Norn Power, Make-Up." The trumpet that had begun to play previously was quickly joined by the rest of the band as the Charleston started to play. "Why, I haven't heard that in -years-," she said. "It almost makes me want to dance again," and not realizing what she was doing, she dropped her cane, and started to dance.
Alix and Ottar stared as the old woman started moving her hips and throwing her arms and legs into the air to the beat of the music. Quickly her body and clothing glowed a bright blue, and while glowing, she seemed to straighten her back, she got a bit thinner, and her hair became short and straight, rather than short and curled. The music kept playing, and suddenly a pair of high-heeled shoes appeared on her feet, and then a silver brooch and a wire bracelet, with a large lapis lazuli set into it. A blue cloche hat popped onto her head, and a long strand of pearls, doubled up with a silver and lapis pendant dangled almost to where her waist would be. The music came to a crescendo, and she twirled around once on her right foot, a flapper dress made from aquamarine colored silk, and beaded with clear glass and lapis lazuli beads in a design of swirls replaced the glowing bits of her former dress. A white belt rested jauntily on her hips, more for appearances than anything else, though a spindle was tucked into it. She threw her left foot into the air and out, and threw her hands up, and the music, and glowing both ended. "Copasetic..." she whispered, as she looked at her arms in a state of shock.
The boy and the tomcat continued to stare, utterly stunned, before Alix swallowed and cleared his throat. "Um," he said, flabbergasted. "You look really beautiful, Mrs. Giotto."
"Maybe because she got boosted from crone to golden-haired maiden?" Ottar snorted in disbelief. "The Gods make unfathomable jokes."
"This is really the bees knees, Ottar-Susan," Urd said as she examined her new, or rather old, face in the mirror. "Look at me, I haven't looked this ritzy in years." She turned her attention back to the little boy, "so, gumdrop, do you turn into a handsome young man?" Urd giggled.
"Ottar-SUSAN?! Listen, hag - "
The tiny blonde went bright red. "No, ma'am! I don't turn into anything! I mean, uh... I mean, I still look the same! Um!"
"Cranky one, aren't you?" she asked the hissing cat. "How about I call you something else, then? Pussy? Kitty?" Urd looked thoughtful. "I think I'll call you kitty from now on, kitty." Urd turned back to Alix, winked, and said, "Don't you worry, jellybean, I'm sure you'll grow up nice and handsome."
She fiddled with her belt to adjust it on her hip better, and in the process got her hand around a spindle with a few whispy barely-there threads around it. "What's this thing for?" she asked. It suddenly slipped out of her hands and clattered to the floor, where it ended up hitting Ottar in the side.
Ottar hissed and spat as he was suddenly tangled up in the string. Alix gasped and knelt by his side, trying to pull him out of it. "I think it's your weapon, Mrs. Giotto!"
"That little thing's a weapon?" she said. A sudden glimmer of realization flitted across Urd's face and she said, "I think that's your life thread, Kitty." She knelt down to try and help Alix and said, "I wish I knew how to get him out of it," as she unsuccessfully tried to unravel the pale thread.
Ottar yowled, loudly and pitifully, as Alix crouched down next to the young blonde to try to tangle him out of it as well. It was to no avail; however, thankfully, the string disappeared after a few moments. The tomcat scratched out with one paw, hard, and jumped on to June's bed to sulk.
"Kitty, I'm real sorry about that, I didn't know what this little thing could do," Urd said as she put the spindle back into her belt. "So, um, if you don't mind me asking, why did I go from Little-Old-Lady to Sheba in ten seconds flat?"
"You're a Noord!" Alix chirped, big brown-amber eyes sparkling. "Us Noords are reincarnations of the Nordic gods and we fight against the Kemets and the Graikos and the Romanus because we're cool and they're not and we wear really neat outfits and I'm Balder and I get this really cool staff and Miss Cecily she's Hodr is busy giving me lessons on how to whack people in the head with it and I was in this super-cool-battle a couple of days ago, signora, there was this guy and there was this girl and another girl and this girl had a scarf and..."
"Slow down, Jellybean!" Urd said, giggling, "I can barely understand a thing that you're saying. Now, I'm in this getup because I'm some sort of dead goddess? Any good reason why?"
"You were chosen as the vessel of reincarnation," Ottar drawled from the bed, busily cleaning his paws. "Gods know why, personally, you're a fossil."
Urd looked at Ottar and something that had been bothering her about him since they'd met in the park suddenly clicked. She sashayed over to the cat and tapped his nose with her finger. "It'd been bothering me all day but I think I've finally got it; you used to be a pig, didn't you?"
"I used to be a mighty warrior! Consort of the beauty goddess, Freya, her chosen third husband! Leader of hundreds! Feared by all! And you dare to call me a pig?!"
Alix quickly put himself between Urd and the cat, arms splayed out, looking embarrassed. "He's right, Miss Urd, he didn't used to be a pig."
"Of course he didn't, sweetie. I just must be ossified from this whole ordeal." He was a pig, and she rode him around like a horse. "Terribly sorry, Kitty."
He just hissed at her.
Urd looked down at the boy who was between herself and the hissing cat. "Now, you said that you get one of these funny costumes, and you go out and have battles? Why, you can't be more than ten or eleven! That's so young, jellybean. Don't you get hurt?"
"'Course not," he chirped. "I'm nine years old, ma'am, and I've been trained by the best. My father and my Miss Cecily."
"Well, if you say so, gumdrop. I don't know any of those people, though. I'm afraid I don't get out too often anymore," Urd smiled down at the little boy.
"You can come meet them!"
"That'd be really nice, dumpling, but something tells me I'd better get their phone numbers, just in case. Do you know them?"
"Sure! I'll write them down for you!" He started scrabbling in his backpack. "I don't know Miss Cecily's off by heart yet, only the first few numbers, but Papa'll know."
"Thank you, gumdrop." Urd turned again to the cat. "Is there anything else I need to know, Kitty?"
"Don't tell anyone or I'll cut your throat."
Urd merely grinned at the cat, and said. "Sure thing, Kitty. Anyway, like anyone would believe me? I'm ninety-three years old, I say an awful lot of things, I even mix up cats with pigs sometimes."
"... yes, you do. Now detransform back into your senile self."
"Well, since you asked so nicely," murmured Urd. "How?"
"Close your eyes and imagine yourself as you were, bedridden and stupid."
Urd closed her eyes and smiled. Nothing happened. "I'm imagining you having a nice disposition, Kitty. It�s wonderful." Winking at the scowling cat, Urd finally did imagine herself as she had previously been. Her body glowed blue for just a moment, and instead of young, vivacious Urd, little old June stood. "Well, now, that was certainly interesting, Susan," she said, shuffling her way over to her chair to sit down.
"You are decomposing. Die."
Alix opened his backpack for Ottar, blushing. "I'm awful sorry about him, ma'am. I promise he'll be better later."
June shook her head. She knew better. "I'm sorry, dear, but Susan just can't be reformed. I'll let her go with you, though, since she seems to want to so much. Oh, and Susan, dear, please stop turning into a pig and letting Lady Godiva ride around on your back, its unseemly! Betty disapproves greatly"
Betty said nothing, but it was assumed that she agreed with June.
"Cool!" the little blonde said brightly, which was a good response to everything June had just said. He beamed the kind beam at June that the sane often gave the apparently insane, which included lots of teeth and would not work on monkeys. "So we'll come and get you sometime? At night?"
June looked at the smile on the little boy's face; it was disquieting, really. The poor dear must have been slightly touched in the head, but he did try so very hard. She screwed her face into a smile of flashing dentures surrounded by wrinkles and said, "I can sneak you into the building anytime you want, dear, just give me a ring and then we'll go gallivanting about town! Oh the gaiety of it all, it shall be such an adventure."