Review #1 by Cahira Ok, this is my first review ever, so here goes. She's old -and- she's from Avalon. Already loving her. The meaning of her name makes me laugh and goes well with her power sphere. I like the choice of star sign (Archer/Hunter and all). Family: I want to here those rumours. *Nods* If Ita was attempting to let go of her heritage, why did she tell her child that she had come from Avalon? Her husband didn't know, after all (or so I gather). Was she forced to tell Margaret? Did she feel obligated? Ah, dead parent. But it was World War II, so I'll forgive you ;) I adore her family and the way they seem to interact. It all seems very real and sweet and chaotic, just like a really family. They all live very long lives, don't they? Occupation: Hah, accountant! That is the best choice of job ever. Skills: All good. Like/Dislikes are all nice. Nothing wrong there. Moving straight down to Colour: Is chameleon allowed? I'd stick with it unless the answer is no, because I quite like the idea. Hobbies: She knits! That is just so adorable. Skipping to History: Lovely, detailed. I can't find anything wrong with it at all. Personality: I like her nature. Not too sentimental, not a blind follower. A sturdy sort of woman who'll make an interesting character to interact with. Appearance: Looks like an old woman, but a -tough- old woman. And she's not super pretty, I like that. Fuku: Its practical and not too showy, and suitable for hunting. No problems here. Transformation: No pretty transformation? *Pouts* Oh well, it -does- suit her personality... Powers: Useful power, there. And it'll make for great stories too, I imagine. The magic spells aren't too powerful, and they would make sense for a hunter. Explanation: Nice detail. I like the effort you put into researching Avalon and the Celts. FINAL VERDICT: I can't find anything hugely wrong with app so I'm going with an ACCEPT. ----------- Review #2, by Chris I have a few short things to say. In no particular order -- *She has a bajillion well-thought-out relatives. It might be a little much, but you did it well. *I like the history muchly. *You said "I swear to Zog that I'll one day give a senshi functional footwear." If you meant "Zog the Terrible" who lives under the sea and was the villain from The Sea-Fairies, you get 1000 bonus points. *That power -is- powerful. As long as the GMs okay it, though, I'll be shibby with it. (Shibby? What does that even mean?) *She is OLD. I have an old senshi, they are FUN, you get another 50 bonus points. In short, I really liked this ap, and couldn't find much of anything wrong with it whatsoever. It was thorough, informative, and a good (but long) read. Great Jearb. FINAL VERDICT - ACCEPT, pending the GM's okay that power. Also, 50 bonus points, and a possible 1,050 if you meant that Zog. You can spend them wherever bonus points are taken as legal tender. Ding! ------------ Review #3 by Angie Third review and we're off and running. Forgive me if I go simple and to the point but it's been a long weekend and you've been more than patient. *blows dust off the Red Pen* First of all, her name is charming and the age gave me a pleasant start until I could adjust my head to the setting. Even then, having older characters littering the scene is a happy thing indeed. Then I got to the family... And the family... And the family. There are an awful lot of them and you probably could have shortened the section by simply referring to some of the bits in history instead of here (ex. Ita could've been dealt with in that manner) but they were fascinating and well-done so I give you thumbs up. I got way too happy over the accountant thing. It's ingenous and a pet fascination. Probably because I suck at math. Skills are good. Likes, dislikes, etc, yay! And she can knit but only if she makes me a fuzzy purple and green scarf. Oookay, history. Now we love a good, detailed history and this one was tons of fun to read. And, yeah, you're right when you say you hear a "but" coming. Basically, I'm just wondering if there is a neater way of telling us the story. Sixty-four years is an awful lot of time to cover and most reviewers and fellow players are far more interested in personality. History really shouldn't be about three times longer than the personality. Which leads into personality. Which is a wonderful base and covers quite a few points that give a good idea of who she is. It doesn't seem quite finished, though, as if you poured everything into history and were tired when you got to personality. The religious aspect, the refusal to think into the realm of metaphorical, the vanity are all wonderful aspects of her. But I feel we're missing more mundane things. Sense of humor? What makes her mad? You said in the blurb about her husband that she is stubborn; why not repeat that and build on it? Does she hold a grudge? How does she deal with stress? How does she interact with those who are not Avalonian? These are just a few questions that I don't really feel safe in answering as things stand. Appearance? I simply adore it. She's vivid and different and real. Very, very real. Her fuku suits her and her position. Can't see Slyvia putting up with bits of fluffy, useless foppery. Her transformation is pure and simple and golden. The power... I'm sorry but no. This is far too powerful and, while you make the nod at senshi glamor, you negate it in the very next breath by giving her powerful "kill instincts". The concept is solid; it's creative and well-thought-out but... It's impossible. It's too powerful and too damaging and too near godmoding. While we trust our players, it's never a good idea to allow something that comes so close to breaking one of the main tenets of the game. Senshi Glamor is sancrosanct. No questions. You only get to find out if you see a transformation or if you're awfully damn clever or awfully damn lucky. I'm sorry. Basic spells, on the other hand, are all good to go. Hurray! .... That FAQ was very illuminating and interesting and I learned a lot of fun things. However, it was, once again, three times longer than the personality. Call me a stickler but I'd rather more on -her- than her society. *whispers* And she's more than welcome to have a dead parent; you handled it sensibly and marvelously. Verdict? I'm going to have to give this a Reject For Revisions based on the comparative sparseness of the personality and the unsuitability of the power. You write very, very well and you obviously know this character. Let us know her as well. I want to! You've gotten me so interested that I -must-. As for the power, well, it rather endangers the metaplot and that's just not kosher, eh? Please bring her back. I want Slyvia! P.S. A quick run through a spell-check would be good, though, before you went to the next step. There are a few spelling errors and mistaken words that interrupted the flow of this decidedly fun app.