MarshAngelMarshAngel
watsonma@hotmail.com
http://angelmoon.sinfree.net
rated R-NC17 
disclaimer: standard i.e.: no claim of ownership has or will be made
  
  This is a short chapter and I apologize but it had to be cut here maybe 
because the remaining few chapter/s will be longer I hope. Its a pivotal 
moment
Touch
Chapter 9
 
Usagi stared at the phone. She had a date in two hours. She hadnt chosen 
anything to wear; she hadnt begun to get ready. She should call and cancel. She 
really wasnt in the mood to socialize.
She rationalized that it would only be fair to cancel the date with Hisahiko 
since her mood was significantly less than the best for a first date. All day 
she had thought of Endymion and she hadnt even once attempted to push him from 
her mind. She kept seeing herself reflected in his eyes and the devotion shed 
seen in them in those last moments. 
She had hurt him so much, she now realized. She hadnt thought of the things 
shed said to him in this way before, the horrible words had slipped from her 
lips without thought. Shed thought he felt nothing; that all hed wanted was 
for her to admit her love only to throw it back in her face. But now the pain of 
guilt seemed to have established itself so securely her body seemed stiff with 
it. 
She sighed and looked at the clock. Another half hour had passed. Would it be 
more unfair to cancel, or to go on a date thinking about another man? 
She was getting a headache.
She went over to her closet and stared blankly at the numerous rows of clothes. 
At this rate, hed be here before she even made up her mind. 
Pink, blue, lavender, pink, white, yellow, blue 
She groaned, muttering under her breath at the Easter color display that was her 
closet. Why hadnt she had the foresight to buy something at the mall when shed 
had the chance? Now everything seemed so cutesy, so light-hearted, and a bit on 
the childish side. Somehow none of it seemed appropriate for a date she wasnt 
sure she wanted to go on. Why didnt she have something in a nice somber brown 
and then she remembered; she hated brown, and black, and gray. Perhaps it was 
because she didnt want to clothe her exterior in anything even vaguely 
resembling any of the feelings she had inside. 
She continued to stare unmotivated at her clothes. Did she even have anything to 
suit the weather? It was a foggy, wet mess outside, something shed once heard 
referred to peas soup weather. If peas soup were anything like that shed rather 
skip that particular meal. She chewed on her lower lip, shifting the hangers 
back and forth. 
When she took a few more minutes to think about the matter however it was 
relatively simple. She wasnt making an attempt to look particularly attractive. 
Her aim wasnt to get a boyfriend. The last thing she needed at the moment was 
another man in her life. She would wear the only thing in her closet that was 
black, comfortable, and weather appropriate: black pants and whatever shirt 
turned out to be acceptably modest and pretty. It couldnt fail. She would look 
relatively appropriate for anything and she wouldnt give the impression that 
she was inviting more than she intended.
She got dressed and put on the minimal amount of makeup it took to look dateable 
including the necessary concealer to hide the dark circles beneath her eyes. She 
was amazed she still had ten minutes to go. She went downstairs to watch TV 
while she waited. 
Before she could get comfortable her mother walked into the living room. 
Where are you going? she questioned looking at Usagis pink blouse and dress 
pants curiously.
I have a date, she mumbled wishing her mother would disappear.
There was an unmistakable look of surprise on her mothers face. She seemed to 
examine her daughter thoroughly for a moment before sitting next to her. 
Usagi cursed her luck.
You didnt tell me about a date, Ikuko said in that subtly accusatory tone 
that held concern and curiosity as well as the slightest touch of disapproval 
only a mother could manage.
Well I have a date, Usagi stated simply, keeping any emotion from her voice.
With whom?
Hisahiko.
Hisahiko?
Usagi sighed. Hisahiko Murakami. Hes a senior at my school.
Ikuko hesitated, not quite sure whether to say what was on her mind. She 
supposed she should be pleased that Usagi was participating in a normal teenage 
event. Until recently she hadnt really noticed that Usagi had never been on a 
date before and when shed discovered the reason she had been as upset and 
concerned as any mother would be. It was just one of the reasons she wished she 
could send her to a place where she would be safe, where shed have a chance at 
normality. The kind of responsibility and weight that rested on Usagis 
shoulders was more than anyone her age should have to bear.
Now that she was actually about to go on a date however, it all just seemed 
wrong somehow. It was too soon after Endymion and judging by the fact that she 
was ready early, and seemed so unexcited about the event, there was something 
very wrong with the entire picture. 
Usagi saw the look on her mothers face and sighed. 
What? she questioned.
You dont seem very excited, her mother commented hesitantly. She was wary of 
seeming judgmental because it seemed to take very little to set her daughter off 
lately. 
Its just a date Mom.
Youve never been on a date before.
Usagi frowned. How had she not realized that fact? Her first date would be with 
a gorgeous guy she should be going nuts over but instead she was sitting here on 
her couch in a bad mood. 
Im just worried that this date seems a bit soon after well you know.
Its not. Hisakios a really nice guy.
Are you sure?
Of course hes a nice guy. Why else would I go out with him?
Ikuko couldnt help but roll her eyes. You know thats not what I meant.
Does it really matter?
Of course it matters sweetheart. It wouldnt be fair to use this young man to 
get past what you had with Endymion, Ikuko voiced Usagis thoughts aloud.
Im not, Usagi lied.
Ikuko could see she wouldnt get very far with this conversation. She sighed and 
got up. Before she left the room she turned around and looked at her daughter 
with visible concern in here eyes. 
Please be careful Usagi. Remember what we talked about. The moment the words 
left her lips she knew she shouldnt have mentioned it.
Mother! I cant believe you! Usagi screeched hysterically. Just because Im 
not a virgin doesnt mean Im going to sleep with every man that crosses my 
path, Usagi yelled.
I didnt mean
Then what did you mean Mom? Usagi cut her off demanding angrily.
There was no answer to the question as the doorbell rang and Usagi grabbed her 
purse and walked out the door. 
 
I take it somethings wrong? Hisahiko asked when theyd settled in the car.
Usagi forced a smile. Nothing out of the ordinary; just a fight with my mother 
thats all.
Hisahiko glanced over at Usagi who was now staring at the passing scenery 
outside her window quietly. From the distant expression on her face it didnt 
seem at all like nothing. Since hed met her hed noticed there was a sadness 
about her that never seemed to go away even when she smiled. He wished he could 
make her smile more; it was a beautiful, if rare, sight.
Usagi stared aimlessly, a dozen thoughts running through her mind. She willfully 
closed her mind off to the torrent of thoughts and the emotions connected to 
them. There was someone else right next to her who should be the focus of her 
attentions. 
So where are we headed? she asked with forced brightness that sounded false to 
her own ears.
I thought we could head over to a caf I know and then go down to the lake in 
the park. Is that ok with you?
Sounds great! she announced with a little too much enthusiasm. 
He chuckled lightly. Her forced attempt at good humor was charming. He hoped he 
could take her mind off whatever it was that kept bringing back that distant 
sorrowful look in her eyes. 
Dont get too excited. I dont know if can live up to such great expectations.
Is that faltering confidence I hear? Usagi teased. I never knew you were 
capable.
Im capable of many many things, he replied confidently to her quip.
The slight smile on her face faded momentarily. When hed said that just then, 
it had sounded like such and Endymion-like thing to say; and for just a moment 
hed sounded so much like him. She pushed the thought aside and forced a neutral 
almost smiling expression to her face. He hadnt missed the flickering change 
however.
Why do you do that? he asked
Do what? she questioned confused.
Cover up what youre feeling with smiles.
What do you mean? she asked as if she didnt have a clue what he was referring 
to.
I havent seen you smile much since I met you and the few times you do it never 
quite reaches your eyes. Something happened or is happening that causes you pain 
and you try to hide it but its obvious somethings wrong.
Usagi was silent.
You can tell me about it you know.
Usagi was tempted to explain but decided it was best not to bring up her 
problems. 
You dont need to be burdened by my problems on a first date. Besides, it will 
pass.
He seemed as though hed argue for a moment but seemingly changed his mind and 
decided to leave the subject alone. 
***
Usagi looked around the caf for what must have been the hundredth time. She had 
never been here before and was surprised to find such a cute spot so close to 
her home. It was decorated in earth tones with abstract images hanging on the 
walls and although they had a full menu of good food, it was the rich scent of 
roasted coffee beans that flooded the room.
 She returned her attention to Hisahiko. It was nearing the end of the meal and 
Usagi wasnt sure what was happening. She was enjoying herself somewhat, talking 
to him about everyday unimportant things and laughing at his humorous quips 
particularly those making fun of her teachers, but in the back of her mind she 
kept thinking about her dreams, about Him. She tried to put a happy face on 
things and exude an air of comfort and relaxation but the very fact that she was 
trying so hard made her a little tense. 
Hisahiko seemed only vaguely aware of her discomfort and she felt horrible for 
not letting him know that she wasnt interested in him as anything more than a 
friend, especially when he seemed so attentive and considerate to her every 
need. She decided shed let him know at the end of the night. There was no point 
in ruining a perfectly good and extremely rare night out. 
She looked over Hisahikos shoulder at the door. Her eyes widened at what she 
saw. His back was turned to her but she was certain it was Endymion. He held the 
door for a leggy red head that preceded him.    
Endymion she whispered aloud.
What? Hisahikos voice brought her back to reality. She momentarily looked 
away to see Hisahikos confused expression. When she looked back she was stunned 
by the reality of what she saw. It was someone else entirely; just another man 
with black hair and broad shoulders like dozens of others around. How could she 
have even thought?
She realized she had been leaning out of her seat and ignoring her date and she 
sat down, confused, embarrassed and unwilling to analyze the momentary surge of 
jealousy shed felt at the thought of him with another woman. Her face flushed 
for a moment at Hisahikos questioning stare. He had followed the direction of 
her stares but had come up empty for a reason for her almost jumping out of her 
seat.
Her mind raced for an explanation. I thought I saw someone I knew, she 
explained honestly.
Endymion?
Usagi paled. How did you?
You whispered it out loud, he replied before she could finish the question.  
Whos Endymion?
Her mind went blank and no reply seemed to be willing to flow from her mind to 
her lips. How did she explain him to Hisahiko when she could hardly explain him 
to herself at times?
Endymion is she began slowly hesitating as she thought through what she 
intended to say.
The guy who caused all your pain, Hisahiko finished insightfully.
Usagi was silent, thinking to herself.
No. I think I caused myself all this pain, she whispered, staring down at the 
tablecloth, not seeing the geometric patterns that covered its surface. She came 
to a sudden, terrifying realization and a tear trickled down her cheek. A single 
tear turned into several and before she knew it she was sobbing, much to 
Hisahikos consternation. 
Im sorry, she muttered unintelligibly through her sobs and sniffles. She was 
trying to regain control but it seemed an impossible feat. Shed ruined 
everything for herself, for Endymion, for Hisahiko. She was embarrassing 
Hisahiko with her hysterics and the poor guy didnt even have a clue why she was 
crying. 
She was aware of eyes staring at her and Hisahiko trying in vain to comfort and 
quiet her. Her entire body grew hot and shook underneath the questioning eyes 
and embarrassment, and a dozen emotions coursed through her body propelling her 
out of her chair. She grabbed her purse and ran through the door only vaguely 
aware of Hisahiko calling her name. 
 
  She ran blindly not even noticing people getting out of her way, yelling at 
her rudeness and staring at her strangely. Her mind screamed a dozen nonsensical 
things at her but above everything else there was her own voice screaming for 
what shed lost. Endymion. She ran faster until her skin was covered in a fine 
sheen of sweat and mist from the air and her heart and lungs seemed ready to 
burst from her chest to escape her weary body. If not for the fence before her 
she might have run right into the lake and the concept didnt bother her at all; 
the temptation remained for a few more moments.
Her mind seemed to be searching, calling, begging and pleading for something. 
She stared out over the water through her tears. The rain grew heavier soaking 
her through but she didnt move. Her life was a mess and she was in the worst 
pain shed ever experienced in her life, a pain that had been building almost 
unnoticed for weeks. Wearily she sank to her knees, not caring about the damp 
grass and the mud. 
It was sick pathetic irony to find herself in love with Him after shed pushed 
him away, lied, and betrayed him yet again. How could she have been such a fool 
yet again? The saying was true hindsight was twenty-twenty. It was so much 
easier to see the foolish mistakes now that shed made them complete and 
irreversible. Why did it take so long for her to see it?
Her entire mind and body screamed his name.
 
Hisahiko had no idea where Usagi could have gone but after tossing down a few 
bills on their table he d run outside in the direction shed disappeared. She 
had disappeared so quickly he hadnt quite believed she could run that fast in 
heeled boots. He had wandered aimlessly looking left and right to see where she 
had run off to.  
He stopped one or two strangers asking if theyd seen the pretty blonde girl 
running. He accepted a few insulting remarks about her rudeness but they merely 
confirmed that he was headed in the right direction. It quickly became quite 
obvious she had headed towards the park.
Sure of where she was, he picked up speed, amazed at how far shed traveled in 
such a short time. He entered the park and headed down the main path. Directly 
where the path split into the circle that surrounded the lake he saw her on her 
knees, in the pouring rain still sobbing. He made a move to approach her and was 
shocked when to his amazement and disbelief she screamed Endymion and 
disappeared into thin air. 
