MarshAngelMarshAngel
watsonma@hotmail.com
http://angelmoon.sinfree.net
rated R-NC17 
disclaimer: standard i.e.: no claim of ownership has or will be made
  
  
 Despite threats to my well-being, or perhaps because of them, I have managed to 
get another chapter out. I am surprised and very pleased to see people enjoying 
this story. Thanks for the reviews.
  
Touch
Chapter 7
  
Usagi stared at the empty space where hed sat only a moment before. Her mind 
was a blank; there were too many thoughts in her mind for any single thought to 
come to the fore and make any type of sense. There was only one thing she was 
certain of; he wasnt coming back. And she was at a loss for an explanation of 
what had just occurred. 
She turned away and walked slowly up the stairs, the voices of her parents 
fading into the background. Once in her room, she spent hours just staring 
blankly at the ceiling. How had her life come to be this complicated? 
Once again she wondered what it would be like to not have been born into 
royalty, to not have been reincarnated as a moon princess, to never have gotten 
her memories back. Life before Sailor Moon, before the return of her memories, 
was nothing more than a faded memory.
There was too much life in her young head. Her life experience covered 
thirty-five years, nineteen of those during the Silver Millennium. The 
experiences of her past life and the hectic pace of the last two years made her 
pre-sailor moon days seem unimportant. 
It was strange that for the small fraction of time Endymion had been in her 
life, he was suddenly elevated into such a prominent position. Endymion was the 
man shed given her virginity to twice. He had been the source of her most 
contemplative moments. Dealing with him made her question everything, made her 
rethink her every decision, her very existence.
Why was he so important?
His words echoed in her thoughts for hours. Love isnt about control, its 
about giving it up. And you know as much about the subject as you think I do. 
Goodbye Serenity.
Love. She had never been foolish enough to let herself believe in that lie. She 
had never expected the romantic variety in her life. Shed grown up believing 
she would marry Mael, they would have children, and shed attend to her 
responsibilities as a queen. When Endymion had come along it had been exciting, 
utterly thrilling, perhaps even a touch romantic at times, but love? 
There had been times when she had desperately needed Endymion in ways that 
extended beyond physical desire; when she had felt an indescribable need just to 
be next to him. But surely that had all been attributable to the fact that he 
was the only one shed completely confided in and trusted. She frowned in 
frustration and bitterness. He was right. She knew nothing about love. She 
couldnt even determine her own emotions. 
She didnt go down for dinner, nor did she wake up for school the next morning 
but no one knocked on her door. And it was only the call of nature that finally 
willed her out of her stupor. She was hungry.
Usagi eventually came downstairs by midday. Her mother was hand writing a letter 
in the kitchen. 
She glanced at the clock. Good afternoon Usagi. Im sorry, I should probably 
call you Serenity right?
Usagi furrowed her brows and stared at her mother oddly. It seemed she was 
serious, even a little concerned.
Why would you want to call me that? Usagi questioned.
That is your real name isnt it? 
It was only then that she grasped the hurtful reality of her own mother treating 
her like a stranger. Usagi supposed it was to be expected when she considered 
that just last night her mother had come to realize that she really knew very 
little, if anything at all, about the child shed given birth to. She might even 
be wondering if Usagi was her daughter at all.
No. Serenity died a long time ago. My name is Usagi, she reminded 
determinedly. Besides, Serenity was always more of a title than a real name.
She doesnt seem dead at all. That woman, she paused momentarily after 
stressing the words, I heard speaking last night didnt bear any resemblance to 
the innocent Usagi I thought I knew.
Usagi sat down at the table across from her mother. Im sorry, she whispered. 
Why? What do you have to be sorry about? You cant change who you are. I just 
wish I knew who that was. Ikuko sniffled quietly. 
She paused and Usagi was at a loss for what to say but her mother continued. 
I cant even grasp the concept of you being a reincarnated princess with 
superhuman powers. It doesnt seem plausible but it somehow makes sense and I 
cant help but believe it.
Ill always be your daughter, Mom. Nothing will ever change that.
Her mother gave a small smile.  My daughter the moon princess. It certainly 
explains your absences and those injuries you claimed were the result of 
clumsiness. Her expression turned serious.
 I didnt sleep well last night.
You and me both, Usagi muttered.
I was worried, her mother said. Every time I thought about all those times 
you were out there risking your life And dont tell me that it was ok. You got 
hurt. You could have died!
Mom
Its a mothers duty to protect her child, instead youre the one out there 
fighting, putting your life in danger for everyone else and I feel so useless. 
After last night I cant help but feel that youve grown up so much and Ive 
missed out on so much of it. 
Mom
A mother should know her own daughter!
Mom, stop it! Im not going to let you blame yourself for this. You didnt know 
because I didnt tell you. If Ive changed how could you know when Ive spent so 
much time making sure you wouldnt find out?
Ive tried so hard just to make sure that the horrors I have to face never 
touched you. I guess I didnt realize until recently how estranged Ive become 
from my own family because of it.
You could have told us Usa. You shouldnt have to face all that on your own. We 
might not have been able to fight but we could have done something to help you 
through it. Yes we would have worried, but thats our job. I worry about you 
when you walk to school! Especially since you always seemed to come home damaged 
in some way.
Usagi hung her head feeling a little ashamed. I guess Endymion was right. Im 
always trying to control situations even when its obvious that they werent 
always mine to control.
Her mother frowned. We need to talk about Endymion.
I know, Usagi replied quietly.
I didnt understand what happened last night. I take it your relationship is a 
carry over from your previous life?
Usagi nodded. Endymion is was, the Prince of Earth. 
Her mother raised a disbelieving eyebrow. The entire planet had a prince? She 
questioned skeptically. 
In a manner of speaking. Im not quite sure how long it has been really, but I 
suspect it has been at least two thousand years since Earth had a majority 
ruler. There were, of course many people who did not fall under that rule but 
for the most part yes, despite constant power struggles and tribal wars, most of 
the Earth was once united under one empire and Endymion was their Prince Royal.
And the moon also had a civilization of its own?
Not just the moon but the other planets as well.
Why havent any evidence of these civilizations been found? Especially the one 
on Earth?
Usagi frowned. Ive been asking myself that a lot recently, and it occurred to 
me that when Queen Serenity ruled, during the Silver Millennium, there was never 
a Dark Kingdom, not as a literal place as it is now. When all our civilizations 
were destroyed by the Dark Kingdom, to save our future my mother sent us all to 
the future and locked the Dark Kingdom away. But since there was never a Dark 
Kingdom outside of the one on Earth, she must have simply shifted everything 
associated with the Dark Kingdom and everything it destroyed, including 
Endymions kingdom into a parallel dimension. 
Her mother nodded in understanding. Whats the story with you and Endymion?
Back then, I guess I was 18 going on 19, I had an upcoming marriage that had 
been arranged at a young age, I led a pampered life and I was bored and looking 
for excitement. Endymion had a kingdom to rule that was essentially an enemy of 
the moon kingdom. We had a secret affair that well it got complicated. Our 
relationship was always rocky and when you add the weight of treason and the 
fate of both our kingdoms as well as my blackmailing fiance, well it was a 
disaster. I betrayed him by not standing up and admitting that there was 
something between us and he fought to the end defending my life and almost died 
in the process.
He wants to marry you, her mother stated.
Usagi paled in shock, her eyes going wide with surprise.
Thats why he came yesterday. He told your father that nothing would get in the 
way of his claiming you for his wife. I guess he didnt expect you to react the 
way you did. Of course his methods werent exactly what I would call romantic.
Usagi was silent. Shed been stunned by her own reaction. Now she was stunned 
again. Endymion wanted to marry her. For a moment she was simply stuck on that 
singular thought. Endymion wanted to marry her? 
She couldnt help but wondering why? Shed left him. He didnt even love her did 
he?
Both women were silent for a good while. Usagi eventually shook off the air of 
contemplation, attempting to free her mind from all thought of Endymion. All 
night shed thought of nothing but him. Hed returned to her life for less than 
two weeks and had managed to turn it upside down. But somehow the idea of him 
not being there was concept her mind refused to grasp. Why was it that since the 
moment hed appeared hed consumed her every thought? And the thought that he 
wouldnt be back left an empty space in her life. 
She searched the kitchen for something to eat. When shed found something that 
seemed somewhat edible in the refrigerator she sat down to eat. 
I think we need to talk about sex Usa, her mother announced looking at her 
directly. She very nearly choked on her food.
You slept with Endymion.
Usagi looked at her expectantly. What now?
I hadnt expected you to be sexually active at this point in your life. She 
gave Usagi a slightly disapproving look. I wont lecture you on the emotional 
risks of carrying on a sexual relationship I suspect youve discovered those all 
on your own.  But since you are having sex, I think its important that you be 
safe. I made an appointment for you with the doctor tomorrow. I want you on 
birth control. And you must be responsible and use condoms as well. 
Usagi stared at her mother in shock. It took her a moment to finally recover.
I dont think well need to worry about that anymore. Endymion wont be back.
There was silence for a moment.
Id like you to be safe anyway, her mother stated. 
Usagi acquiesced. She could sense that there would be no point in arguing.
Usagi spent the remainder of the day trying in vain not to think about 
yesterday. She couldnt believe she actually, momentarily regretted not going to 
school. It would have at least kept her mind somewhat occupied. She was 
surprised her mother hadnt even mentioned her truancy. But she knew there had 
been other concerns.
She willingly subjected herself to all the homework she hadnt done previously 
just for something to pass the time and keep herself occupied. It seemed to have 
worked because when she looked up at her clock it told her it was late 
afternoon. 
The light that had been streaming copiously through her blinds was now nothing 
more than a dim haze. Her homework was done and she was at a loss for something 
to do. She almost laughed at that idea. It was a rare thing to want to do 
something besides sleep. 
She was tempted to go out and visit Rei or Makoto but with everything in the 
open between her and her family, she had a chance to get close to them again. If 
she left now it would easily be assumed that she was falling back into old 
patterns. She looked down at her desk, swept a bunch of papers aside and pulled 
out the brochures her parents had not so discreetly placed on her desk days ago. 
She looked at the covers, shocked at the number of choices but even more 
surprisingly, the locations. There were two or three Catholic schools in Tokyo 
that she recognized as being some distance away and one in Kobe and another as 
far away as Sapporo.  But more shockingly there were boarding schools in the 
United States, England, and Australia. Usagi was shocked at just how far her 
parents were willing to send her just to ensure her academic future. They had 
enough money and enough pull to make sure she got into most of these schools and 
they were willing to use it.
The irony was that right now the idea didnt seem so bad. Granted, the idea of 
being as far away from home as Suffield Connecticut in the United States or 
Victoria Australia was more than a little scary but if one was trying to get 
away, a few thousand miles should do the trick. Getting away from her life was 
gaining a lot of appeal. 
Unfortunately getting away wasnt an option. She had responsibilities that kept 
her here and friends whom she could hardly bear to leave. In moments like these 
however, her responsibilities felt like a trap.
There was a light knock on her door. She offered an invite. Surprisingly it 
wasnt her mother but Ami.
Ami!
Hey Usagi, you werent in school today. What happened?
Endymion.
Ami frowned. Hes been causing you a lot of problems lately. What are you going 
to do about him?
You dont like him do you? Usagi asked. 
I dont trust him. Anyone who invades your privacy the way he has and who has 
that amount of power is dangerous and not someone to trust.
Usagi nodded, not so much in agreement as in acceptance of her friends opinion.
You wont have to worry anymore Ami. Endymions gone, and I dont think hes 
coming back, Usagi announced quietly.
Amis eyes widened with surprise. What happened?
I came home yesterday and he was here with my parents. 
Ami was visibly shocked by that statement but she remained quiet.
We had a huge fight right in front of my parents and he gave me this ultimatum. 
He demanded that I admit that our relationship was more than sex. He wanted me 
to tell him I loved him and I said no. I told him to go and he did. Hes not 
coming back.
Ami was stunned silent. It was almost a minute before she could say something.
I dont understand.
Usagi managed a stiff smile. I dont think Ive ever heard you say those words 
before.
You dont love Endymion? Ami asked disbelievingly.
Usagi was stumped for an answer. That was what shed told him. Why was it so 
hard to repeat the same words? 
II dont think I know what love is.
Ami nodded, more out of respect than belief. So your parents know 
abouteverything?
Usagi nodded. My mothers ob-gyn squeezed me in for an appointment tomorrow. My 
mother wants me on birth control.
Wow. I bet you never thought your life would turn out this way two years ago. 
Usagi chuckled humorlessly. Sometimes I wish I could just start my life over 
and never meet Luna, or become Sailor Moon. But I guess that would mean never 
having met you either. It always comes down to that.
Sometimes I swear that if not for you guys I would walk away from it all. Ive 
been looking at these brochures and suddenly the idea doesnt seem so bad. I 
just think that if things were different I might probably be downstairs with my 
parents trying to decide which school I was going to. But Im not sure I could 
leave you guys behind.
Ami smiled sadly. I understand. She picked up some of Usagis brochures. Two 
years ago I was looking at schools like these too. Some as far away as 
Switzerland and Germany.
And then I came along with Luna, Usagi added bitterly.
Usagi please dont say it like that. I would gladly give up the opportunity 
again if it meant that I would know you and Rei, Makoto, and Mina. Everyone has 
things that they planned to do with their life but then life happens and we 
realize we were never in full control of our destiny.
As much as wed like to believe that we are always the driver at the wheel in 
our life, sometimes things happen that affect us, that change the straight and 
narrow paths we had planned for ourselves. Sometimes its for the worst, other 
times for the best, but more times than not we get the good and the bad all 
wrapped up in one package like a gift were obligated to accept whether we want 
it or not.
But dont you ever just want to get away? Doesnt it bother you, especially 
since youre so gifted, that we may be fighting for the rest of our lives? What 
if you never get a chance to follow your dreams?
Ami was thoughtfully silent for a short while. Yes. I think about it a lot. But 
then I realize that we are senshi. It is our destiny to fight, not just against 
evil, but for our dreams as well. Like my mother always says: where theres a 
will, theres a way.
My parents think I need a new school to help me do better. Maybe theyre right. 
If I dont start doing better I may have to fight harder than Im prepared to 
just to have some semblance of a life outside of my senshi duties.
Ami nodded solemnly. Im glad youre finally taking this seriously, Usagi.
I guess I just finally began to see how much my parents care about me and my 
future. I think theyll be more understanding of why I have to stay but she 
trailed off.
You kind of want to go, Ami completed.
Usagi looked at her guiltily. I cant, of course. It wouldnt be fair. You 
stayed when you had so many opportunities waiting for you elsewhere. It wouldnt 
be fair to you or to the others for me to run off while you have to stay here 
and fight. Besides, I dont know if I want to be separated from you all.
Its not about being fair Usagi. It was my choice. I could have gone, I can 
still go and I just know youd be ok without me. But I chose to stay. You need 
to do whats right for you.
I just hope its not Endymion youre trying to run away from? Ami questioned 
with mild disapproval.
I told you, hes not coming back.
Ami looked at her oddly. And youre ok with that?
Of course. I asked him to leave didnt I?
Then why cant you look me in the eye when you say that?
Usagi didnt reply. When it was obvious that she had no intention of doing so, 
Amy changed the subject.
Well I brought your homework, Ami announced.
Thanks, Usagi replied.
Ami raised an eyebrow. What? No complaints? Why I do believe youre getting 
serious about your education. Is this all because of your parents or something 
else?
I never knew you were such a persistent nosy person, Usagi commented, smiling.
Endymion told my parents that he wanted to marry me.
What! Ami spat.
I might have said the same thing if I could have found my voice when my mother 
told me.
It was like a wake up call. I know it probably doesnt make sense but the idea 
of having accomplished nothing before my first marriage proposal was just a 
little strange. I guess I just realized that I was growing up quickly and I have 
been denying the fact for so long now. I cant just sit here and let my life 
pass me by.
Youre right. It doesnt make sense. Youre thinking way too much, Ami 
replied.
Now that is something Ive never been accused of.
****
  
  
  
