Standard Disclaimer:  Sailormoon and all its characters copyright 
© Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha Ltd./Toei Animation, Co., Ltd. and the English 
adaptation is copyright © 1995 DIC productions, LP. 

Hentai Disclaimer:  If you are under 18 and feel uncomfortable reading
adult material, please read something else.  

This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to actual events, persons,
living or dead, is purely coincidental.

"She (Tous Les Visages de L'Amour)" is by Charles Aznavour and Herbert 
Kretzmer.  I do not own any of the other songs used in this fanfic either. 

Author's Notes:  This fanfic is the result of Lunar Rose's over-indulgence
in Evanovich's novels.  The story itself is long, sappy and borders on
raunchy.  Artistic license was in full use.  So, beware.  However, the
lucky reader may derive satisfaction from the brief flight of the 
generally ugly and flightless turkey.  

Alternate Reality fanfic ahead.    

Comments/suggestions/flames/etc. to ayfl@hotmail.com

Copyright 1999 to Lunar Rose
-------------------------------------------

SHE

(a.k.a. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned)
-------------------------------------------



Prologue


Bang!

The gunshot resounded in the cold, night air.  It was somehow a
fitting ending to a chaotic evening.

"Damn!"

"Get down!  Now!"

"What the hell?"

Shouts and screams pierced the momentary silence that had 
dominated the group.  Fear and a mounting terror passed between
the three men.  It was a palpable fear, real and unrelenting.

It wasn't the first time that this had happened and it wouldn't be
the last.  It was time to call for help...if HE was to survive the
madness.  The ongoing madness.

--------------------------------

She loved him.  She really did.  It enraged her immensely to know that
he did not return her affection, to know that she did not even exist
in his world.  Oh, but she would.  She would make sure that he would
remember her for the rest of his damned life.  Her name would be etched
into his soul.  If it was the last thing that she would do.

Carefully, she tucked the surprisingly small revolver back into her
non-descript bag.  The little pricks were trying to do their job.  But
it wouldn't do him any good.  He was a dead man in her books.  As dead
as they come.  He was a done deal.  

She had given him a chance, hadn't she?  Oh yes, she had.  He had ignored 
her completely.  That jerk!  He would pay for his mistake.  No one ignored
her.  No one would ever ignore her again.  She was an important person
to be admired.  Not to be cast aside like some useless pebble.  

Tonight was not the night.  There would come another time.  A more fitting
time for his death.  Yes, the perfect time and place would present 
themselves soon enough.  She would be ready then.  He would be dead.
And she would have triumphed.

Without a second glance, she walked away down the street as though 
nothing had happened.  It had only been a warning shot.  With her
heels clacking on the damp pavement, she made her way into the shadows.
Into the darkness.

-------------------------------------

"Everybody okay?"

"Yeah, just peachy.  Being shot at just brightens my day."

"Can the sarcasm."

"Please, my sarcasm is always fresh, never canned."

A premature white-haired man cautiously peeked over the top of the
car, searching for any possible more threats.  Thank God!  Whoever had
fired the shot was nowhere in sight.  Sweeping the deserted street one
more time, the man nodded his head.  The coast was temporarily clear.

"Alright, the coast is clear," the white-haired man announced in a 
strangled whisper.

"Oh really?  I was hoping to be kissed by a bullet.  What a shame, huh?"

A blonde head emerged from behind the car, the temporary shield from the
fired gunshot.  Frowning, the blonde furrowed his brows with puzzlement.
This was evening was going down in his books as a night to never relive.

"Cut the crap," the white-haired man hissed, annoyed at his partner's 
incessant remarks.

"Sorry, but I don't seem to have my knife with me.  How do you suppose
I should cut it, anyway?"

A third head reluctantly appeared from behind the car.  Straightening into
a shaky stance, he sighed inwardly.  Really, this was not the time for
a large bickering match.

"You okay?"  The white-haired man asked the third man, silhouetted by the
filtering moonlight.

"I'm alive, aren't I?"  It was a short reply laced with a bravado that the
man did not possess.

"Time to head for help.  And this time, "no" is not an option.  You need
it, Darien, and you damn well know it," the white-haired man lectured.

The blonde rolled his eyes heavenward.  Please, let Malcolm stop his
nagging hen imitation.  The small prayer was uttered in a low growl.

"Fine, Malcolm.  Fine," Darien answered.  He did not need another
lecture from the older man.  He was tired, terribly exhausted, and 
wanted to go home.




Chapter 1


The insolent rays of the sun shone on his sleeping face without mercy.
With a frustrated snarl, Darien Chiba awoke, his puffy eyes barely
focusing on the surroundings of his room.  His head began to spin
with the memories of his previous evening.  Life was not going his
way.  Perhaps, the gods had abandoned him, leaving him helplessly to
dwindle in a pointless life.

As his eyes began to focus, he spotted the familiar face of his blonde
guardian.  Darien Chiba groaned inwardly.  Knowing that there was no
escape possible, he groggily sat up in his bed, hardly noticing the 
rumpled sheets.

"Zach, what brings you here so bright and early?"

The blonde smirked, a knowing grin tugging his lips upwards.  His 
mischievous green eyes alighting impishly.  His broad shoulders
were resting lightly against a cream-coloured wall.  His resonant
voice filled the room in response to his boss' question.

"Good morning to you, Mr. Chiba.  This is your lucky day.  Malcolm 
called the bureau and they have sent one of their best just for you.
The agent will be arriving shortly.  And you have absolutely no choice
in the matter."

Darien glared at the blonde.  Something was definitely not right.  The
man was gloating, positively gloating, and what was he trying to tell
him about some agent?  The fuzzy recesses in his mind were still a
blurred cloud of forgotten images.

"I don't understand, Zach.  Could you please repeat what you just said
slowly?  Very slowly."

Zach grinned.  Girls around the world would swoon if they could see the
millionaire rock star now.  Darien Chiba made an adorable picture propped
up quite unconsciously seductive in his bed.  His pajamas were a 
wrinkled mess, unbuttoned at the front and revealing a muscular chest
tanned bronze.  Darien's mop of midnight black hair was hopelessly 
disheveled.

"Alright, Darien, here we go one more time.  Malcolm telephoned the 
security bureau last night when we got home.  The bureau is sending you
one of their top security agents.  An ace bodyguard.  Considering the
agent's probably a guy, nothing naughty will happen between the two of
you, right?  We can't have anything like that Whitney Houston-Kevin
Costner thing happen now, can we?  Where was I?  Oh yes, the agent's
coming in an hour or so," Zach quipped from his position against the
wall.

Darien flinched at the thought of a bodyguard.  He was perfectly able
protecting himself.  He did not need some schmuck following him around
twenty four hours around the clock like some faithful watchdog.  He wanted
his freedom; he deserved to have his share of freedom.

"Zach, I don't want a bodyguard.  Tell the bureau to forget the whole 
thing," Darien insisted from his perch atop his bed.

"Absolutely not.  Malcolm will blow a fuse and steam will billow from
his ears.  I refuse to go against Malcolm when he is furious.  Seeing
Malcolm become a candidate for a steaming hot dog does not make my day.
And personally, I do have to agree with Malcolm on this issue.  You need
a bodyguard because you can't possibly survive this without one."

Darien cursed lowly.  What was the world coming to?  Both his agent and
his manager were teaming up against the star, against the Talent.  And
he was going to live with a damned bodyguard until this whole jumbled
situation blew over.  Whenever that chanced to happen.

------------------------------------

An hour later, Darien Chiba was dressed in a pair of jeans and a loose
T-shirt fretting at the arrival of the unwanted bodyguard.  Hopefully 
the bodyguard would have some sense and not arrive in a Superman costume.
A red pair of skimpy briefs worn over a Lycra pair of bright blue tights
never did appeal to him.  And that huge, red cape was definitely not an
arousing sight.  

Malcolm was sipping his morning cup of coffee while simultaneously 
scanning the newspapers.  Zach was thumbing through magazines and having
a laugh at the outrageous things women did for attention.  In other 
words, it was a typical morning in the Chiba mansion.

The doorbell signaled the arrival of the bodyguard.  Darien closed his
eyes seeing his freedom fly out the doors.  When had the world suddenly
become paranoid?

Ushered in by his maid, the bodyguard stood before the three baffled men.
The bodyguard was not a large hulk of muscle and brute strength.  The
bodyguard did not look like a pillar of security.  The bodyguard wasn't
even a 'he.'  The bodyguard was a petite, blonde woman with an 
astounding aura of innocence. 

"Is this one of your twisted jokes, Zach?" 

Darien Chiba was no longer sure if he should laugh or yell.  This had to 
be a joke.  The idea of the petite woman protecting him was ludicrous.  
He would probably have to protect HER from harm.  There was always the
possibility that this was one of his crazy fans intruding in his life for
one measly autograph.

Zach turned to glance at Malcolm.  Surely, the great manager would not
have chosen that shrimp to protect a millionaire rock star.  But then,
Malcolm always did seem a brick-load short.  Still, this was highly
unusual even for him.

Malcolm was shocked.  Was this the kind of bodyguard they were turning out
nowadays?  Jeez, he had expected a Sylvester Stallone prototype not some
petite blonde.  The girl would not do.  No, she was all wrong for this
job.

Serena Tsukino stood awkwardly as the men accessed her.  Sure, she didn't
look the part of strong, muscular bodyguard.  But then, appearances
could be deceiving.  Extremely deceiving in her case.  Sometimes men could
be such real louts, absolutely rude and clueless.  Quirking a tiny, lopsided
grin, she remembered a joke that she had once heard:

There was once a genie who would grant anyone that rubbed the magic lamp
one wish.  The first man wished to be smarter.  The genie granted him 
his wish.  The man felt his brain begin to tick.  The second man seeing
this wished to become intelligent.  The genie granted the second man his
wish.  Suddenly, the man knew things that he never were possible.  The
third man wished to be infinitely smarter.  His wish was granted.  The
genie changed the third man into a woman.

The men's whispering stole her attention, hurling her back into the 
reality of her current situation.  Obviously, the men weren't too
impressed with what they saw.  Sighing, Serena knew that she would have
to prove herself like she did every single time.

"Excuse me," she began, her voice a tentative breath of sound.

The men glanced up finally focusing on the topic of their hushed discussion.
The tiny blonde in her black pantsuit and blazer did not cut the image of
the 'bodyguard.'

"I know that I may not look the picture of the muscular bodyguard.  I'm
not very big, nor are my biceps bulging.  The bureau sent me because I
would blend into the background, meaning not very noticeable.  And that 
is what's important in this case.  I need to blend into the crowd if I'm
going to find your stalker, Mr. Chiba."

Evidently, her short speech had not wooed the men to her point of view.
Clenching her fists as at her side, Serena decided to tell them the 
truth.  They did have a right to know after all.  

"I'm the only one the bureau could spare at the moment.  There's a really
hot case going on right now, and all the other agents are tied up in it.
So, I'm the only agent available, but I do assure you that I'm extremely
competent."

Serena cursed inwardly at the frowns marring the men's faces.  Not only
did she sound like an idiot, she felt like an utter fool.  Well, fine.
If that was the way they were going to treat her, she would walk out
on this case.  She was a professional and that was the truth.  She
did not need to be belittled by three insensitive oafs.

A slow smile gradually spread across Darien Chiba's face.  The boyish
grin lit his face illuminating his indigo eyes.  If he was going to be
stuck with a bodyguard, he may as well have a beautiful woman to protect
him.  And the petite blonde was beautiful.  Somehow, he would have 
thought that she would have been a model or actress.  Probably an actress
because she was much too short to be a model.  Although, her height
did add to that unique aura of innocence that engulfed her.    

Having a gorgeous companion was infinitely better than having some 
great bulk of muscle.  Darien was warming to his idea.  The more he
thought about it, the more he liked it.  

"Welcome to the Chiba mansion, Miss," Darien greeted, his voice a husky
bass.

A startled Malcolm and Zach exchanged a perturbed look.  Something was
terribly wrong.  Awfully wrong.  Darien Chiba tended to be guided by
his hormones even when he had the best intentions.  Who would have 
thought that the twenty-seven year old rock star's libido tended to go 
on over-drive?  After all, JFK had had his share of women earning him 
the indisputable reputation of womanizer and playboy. 



Chapter 2


Serena banged a fist on her dashboard.  The damned Buick wouldn't start.
Yet again, she thought.  And that stupid red light was blinking at her.
Yet again.  She needed to change the oil.  Yet again.  God, she hated
this stupid piece of junk.

Finally, the rust-covered Buick coughed and sputtered to life.  Serena
frowned.  The muffler had fallen off a few deca-kilometres ago, not to
mention her tail pipe had vanished after driving on Route 1.  Her radio
had been stolen by some crazy kids out on Stalk Street.  And she had no
air.  What would Darien Chiba think of her car?  Serena wasn't sure she
wanted to know.  

Darien had generously offered to house her car in one of his garages. At 
least, Serena thought, he will get an advanced warning of her Buick's
arrival.  He would have plenty of time to change his mind - considering
Mrs. Tsukino had insisted that she had heard Serena approaching from 
ten blocks away.  


---------------------------------

"What the -?"

Darien Chiba swung right around and could only gape in horror at the ugly
Buick coming towards his garage, the Buick leaking puddles of oil along
the way.  And that noise.  Darien grimaced.  A non-existent muffler was the 
least of this car's problems.

A scowl etched itself on Darien's face.  He had imagined that his quaint
bodyguard would drive a nice, small car.  Boy, was he wrong.  Darien
took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  He was going to calm down so
that only a minimal amount of his blood capillaries would burst.

Serena stopped the car in front of her new employer.  By the looks of 
things, he would not remain her employer for long.  It was just as well, 
she thought, since Darien Chiba was dangerous.  He was simply too....
Perfect, her mind supplied.  Serena frowned.  Wasn't her mind supposed
to be on her side?  Since when had it joined ranks with Darien
Chiba's largest fan club, the Darien Chiba Estrogen Brigade?

Darien was at a loss of words.  Politeness dictated that he commented,
preferably kindly, on her car.  But what was he supposed to say?  Nice
car, but get it the hell away from my garage.  Wasn't Serena Tsukino
supposed to be a professional bodyguard?  Didn't she make enough money
to own something better?  Darien was having serious doubts about the
wisdom of letting Serena Tsukino anywhere near him.

Poking her head out the window, Serena was amused.  So Darien Chiba didn't
like her car, but he was too polite to say so.  Oh well, both her time 
and oil were dripping away as they stared at each other in silence.

"You like?"

Darien was determined to not look harassed.  He had to steer away from the
red zone, the zone where his blood capillaries burst in explosions of
erythrocytes and leukocytes.  Pasting a smile on his face, Darien 
racked his brain to think of something, or anything for that matter, that
would sound complimentary.  

"It's....eye-opening," Darien wheezed.  And capillary-opening, he added
silently.

"I'm glad you like it," Serena retorted.  "Which garage did you have in
mind?"

"Doesn't your car like fresh air?  I mean, cooping such a car up would
be a total waste.  Cars are like people.  They need to breathe.  If
you look very, very closely, you'll notice these breathing pores in 
the car's body," Darien said.  Good save, he thought, very mature and
adult-like.

Serena blinked.  She may be crazy driving such a car, but she sure wasn't
stupid.  Plus, what would her testosterone driven father say?  The
Buick had been his pride and joy, something that he had wanted to pass
down to his daughter.  The Buick, Serena decided, was definitely a guy
thing, because she certainly had no intention of giving this hunk of
junk to her daughter.

"I'm sorry.  Which garage did you say?"




Chapter 3


"So, how do you feel about sleeping in my room?"

Serena was beginning to glower while trying desperately not to scowl.  
The man was trouble.  His charming, debonair smile half-infuriated, 
half-daunted her.  But then, the man was probably a phenomenal actor.
And everyone knew that actors could be the most charming people in the
world when they chose to be.

She did not want to sleep in his room; she had wanted to sleep in the
empty guest room.  But no, Darien Chiba had insisted and how could a
girl go about refusing someone so naggingly persistent?  And the man
was damned persistent.  Too persistent for her liking not to mention
exasperating.

"I've already told you that I would prefer the guest room," she murmured.

Darien frowned.  His bodyguard sure wasn't jumping at the opportunity to
be close to him.  What had happened to the faithful watchdog theory?
She must be hoping that the stalker would just kill him and be over 
with this badly-acted charade.  Well then, that was too bad because he
was going to make her care.  Make her care for him.  Serena Tsukino
fascinated him, although he still wasn't too sure what to do with
the rusty, oil-dripping Buick in his garage.  Oh well, as long as no
one saw it, he could happily forget of its existence.

"Absolutely not!  I will not have you all the way down the hall in a 
chilly and dusty room.  You would be much more comfortable in my
room.  Plus, that guarantees that I'll still be alive when I awake in
the morning," Darien argued.

The girl was definitely stubborn.  As stubborn as a mule.  But there 
were always ways to budge a mule, weren't there?  Darien smiled a
beatific, toothy grin for good measure.  Girls did have a soft spot
for handsome grins.  Zach had said as much after reading an article on the
'Top Ten things that Women Loved.'

Jeez, she was going to go blind.  The light glinting off Darien Chiba's
perfect, pearly whites was dazzling.  Just what kind of toothpaste did
he use?  Well, better to sleep in his room then having the man continue
to twist her arm.  At the very least, he would stop smiling his sickeningly
sweet smile.

"Fine.  Fine.  I'll sleep in your room," Serena muttered.

The woman didn't look too happy at the prospect of joining him in his
humble sanctuary.  Wasn't the bed a sanctuary for lovers?  Of course, it
was.  Zach had said so after reading a Playboy magazine.  Of course, Zach 
ONLY read Playboy for the stimulating articles.      

"And you can share my bed, Serena," Darien finished.

Share his bed?  What was he?  A sex-depraved moron?  She was stunned by
the man that lounged beside her on a cream lawn chair by the enormous
swimming pool.  Either the man was really a closet lunatic or she was
having dreadful hearing problems.

"Did you just say that I could share your bed?"

Did he have to spell everything out before she understood?  The girl 
probably had minimal intelligence.  Darien groaned inwardly.  He
certainly hoped that the stalker would just disappear so his life could
return to normal.  As normal as it ever got.

"I thought that it would be best if you shared my bed.  You don't need to
worry about the bed being small.  It could probably fit about seven 
large men.  I thought that it would be more convenient if you were
close at hand than if you were at the opposite end of the room.  You
do know what I mean, don't you?"

More convenient for him to try something funny, she thought.  Why did
he need such a large bed anyway?  Did he have gang-bangs on a regular 
basis?  This was madness, sheer madness.  Serena's head began to throb
with the beginning of a splitting headache. 

"I would like to sleep on the floor if you don't mind," she replied,
her voice strained by tension.

He was practically offering himself on a silver platter for her to ravage.
The woman simply could not be as prim and virginal as she seemed to be.
Darien watched her intensely, watched his bodyguard begin to fidget
uncomfortably.  

Why was he looking at her in that intense fashion?  Did he have some sort
of bizarre fetish?  She was going to become a cracker if she stayed 
here.  Gradually, Serena raised her gaze to meet his.  Shock registered
as their gazes locked for an interminable length of time.  

She has the prettiest eyes, he thought dreamily.  Silver specks floated
in her iris.  Her eyes were so very blue.  So very, very blue.  Now why
didn't anyone write a song about blue-eyed girls?  Darien was lost,
suspended in time and space, in the blueness of her gaze.  

----------------------------

"Move over.  You're in the way!"

"Like I can see with your hair in my face."

"Give it a rest.  You're just jealous that my hair has more body.  If
you actually used that Pantene Pro-V stuff, you might get some 
results.  But, no, you never listen to good advice."

"I listen to good advice.  Just not any of yours."

Malcolm glared at the blonde man blocking his view.  Finally, when things
were beginning to get interesting, Zach just had to block his view.  Well,
some things never did change.  Malcolm sighed.  It looked as though Zach
was going to give him the verbal play-by-play of what Darien and the
new bodyguard were in the midst of doing.  It really was a shame
that the patio window was the only place close enough to watch all the 
action.    

"Oh look, they're beginning to come in closer.  I think Darien's narrowing
in for a smooch.  That guy always did move fast.  Will it be a small
peck, or a scorching, passionate, tongue-to-tongue kiss?  The suspense
is killing me!"

Malcolm rolled his eyes.  Zach was being his normal melodramatic self.
Being his normal, annoying self.

-------------------------------------

Serena lowered her gaze, unable to continue staring into the scalding
passion in his eyes.  He was leaning closer inch by inch.  He was 
going to kiss her.  He intended to kiss her.  

Darien closed his eyes.  He could almost feel his lips brush hers.  Her
lips were probably as soft as velvet, he thought.  His heart began to
pump faster, blood rushing through his limbs.

--------------------------------------

"You would think that this was some corny romance flick played in slow
motion.  What's taking so long?  If he's going to kiss her, then for
goodness sake, hurry it up!"

Zach's eyes were flashing with green indignation.  Malcolm was trying to
peer over the shorter man's head.  But the only thing he saw were 
curly, blonde strands of hair.  He was going to miss yet another classic
Kodak moment.

---------------------------------------

Things were going to get complicated with a kiss and she didn't want
anymore complications.  In a swift motion, Serena extricated herself
from Darien's encircling arms.  

"I-I'm sorry.  But I can't.  I just can't," she stammered, her cheeks
flushed a fiery red.  

Darien stared at her mutely in astonishment.  The first refusal was
always the hardest.  It always cut the soul the deepest.

---------------------------------------

"I don't believe it!  Malcolm, pinch me now!  I think I'm dreaming!"

"Alright, Zach.  Spill the beans.  What happened?"

"She pulled away seconds before their lips would have met.  She's muttering
some apology right now, but you can see that she's shaken.  We should
keep an eye on her.  She might have a nervous breakdown or something."

Malcolm scowled.  The girl was not what he had expected.  She was
obviously intelligent enough to see the complications in the future
if any relationship developed between her and Darien.  And contrary to
popular belief, she was probably far from suffering a nervous breakdown.
Did Zach always have to be so, so.....exasperating?

"What about Darien?"

Zach grimaced.  He hadn't thought about Darien and how he would react.
There was something about that girl that was just damned distracting.
Out of loyalty, Zach was furious that she would dare refuse Darien.
But somewhere deep inside him, he knew that it was for the best.
Relationships based on sex alone never did last long. 



Chapter 4


Finally I can get some shut-eye, she thought.  It had been an excruciatingly
long day, one that she hoped never to relive.  There had been too many
surprises, too many unpredictable occurrences to be reassuring.  Like
your uncanny reaction to your bed partner, a voice in her head chided.
Speaking of her bed partner, Darien Chiba had disappeared since
the incident by the pool.  Other than occasionally seeing glimpses of
him here and there, not a single word had passed between the two of
them.  Serena sighed.  Who would have thought that being a bodyguard 
would be so difficult?  

The bedroom door opened swiftly then shut again.  Darien sauntered into
his bedroom, devious thoughts forming in the recesses of his mind.  Ms.
Serena Tsukino would learn to love him if it was the last thing he did.
Making a bee-line towards the large bed placed strategically in the middle
of the room, he eyed his shapely bodyguard.  So much for lingerie, he
thought.  Pink flannel.  How was it that sensuality oozed from her even
in a pair of baby pink flannel pajamas?  

Why was he staring at her pajamas?  Serena quickly lowered her gaze to
avoid it connecting with his.  Biting her lower lip nervously, she 
checked to make sure that all the buttons were done up properly.  When
she raised her gaze again, what she saw made her jaw drop.

Darien Chiba had taken the time and the liberty to strip down to...
absolutely nothing.  He was standing in front of the fireplace wearing
only his birthday suit.  And what a glorious birthday suit it was.
Wicked thoughts began to jump into her consciousness.  Serena felt her
pulse quicken with a start and her face turn several shades of red.

Why was she still staring at him?  Serena shook herself, reprimanding
herself for gawking at the infuriating man heading towards her.  Oh no,
she screamed silently.  She was going to sleep with him in that state, that
natural state.  Somehow her eyes were mesmerized by the unabashed nudity
of the millionaire rock star.  

His skin was a golden tan, a furious bronze.  His indigo eyes were 
sparkling with mischief and a warmth that made her insides puddle.  He
was in good shape.  Very good shape.  There was not an ounce of flab
to be seen.  He was all hard, sinew muscle.  If he touched her, she
wouldn't, couldn't resist him.  She would yield.  Yield to her desire if
not to her heart.

"So, Serena," he drawled, his voice velvety smooth.  

It was seduction.  Pure seduction.  And he knew how to play the game.        
He knew how to play it very well.

Not trusting herself to answer, she remained mute.  Her eyes wandered,
a blush heating her cheeks anew.  She had hoped that he would be subdued
or maybe even hostile, but this was totally unexpected.

Not exactly the reaction he was hoping for, but it was a start.  She would
loosen up and they would have fun.  He couldn't wait.

"Serena, which side of the bed do you want?"

She started.  She was not going to let temptation find its way into her
limbs.  She not going to be irresponsible for her actions.  She was
going to sleep as far away from his as humanly possible.  Scooting over to
the far side of the bed, Serena tucked herself in quickly.  Desperately,
she shut her eyes tightly blocking out the world.  

Darien groaned inwardly.  He felt foolish and immature.  And it was all
because of one woman.  She certainly was not reacting very well to 
him.  One could almost say that she wanted nothing to do with him.
Without furthering the one-sided conversation, Darien tucked himself
in beneath the sheets.  However, sleep was far from his mind.  

She felt the mattress sink under his weight.  Serena frowned at the
sudden darkness and closed her eyes.  It was going to be a long
night.

--------------------------

1:00 am

Serena's eyes flew open as she felt herself crushed against the mattress.
Forcing her eyes to focus despite the darkness, she noticed a head
resting quite contently on her chest.  Of all the things, she thought, 
that could have happened.... Perhaps she should consider herself lucky
to be the cushioning mattress of a rock star?  Darien Chiba was comfortably
asleep on top of her slender body, his weight crushing her into the
bed.  Cursing silently, Serena felt a disconcerting numbness in some of
her limbs.  

Somehow Darien had rolled on top of her during the night, and had fallen
asleep without her even noticing their awkward positioning on the bed.
Serena bit her lip in frustration.  Normally she would have awaken him
except that she was not in the mood to deal with one of his flamboyant
advances.  At least he doesn't snore, she thought.  But please, she
prayed, please do not make him drool.

-----------------------------

2:00 am

Finally feeling quite liberated, Serena allowed herself to relax.
Darien had rolled himself off her body and back onto the mattress.  Not 
wanting to disturb the bed and its other occupant, she moved further away.  Inch
by inch, she crept closer to the edge of the bed unknowingly.  Feeling the
tension fade as she moved further away, she decided to edge several inches
more.  

Thump!

"Argh!"

So that's where the bed ends, she thought wryly.  Feeling the pain
shoot through her head, Serena remained motionless on the cold
floor.  And look, she thought, he doesn't even have carpeting.  There was
no plush carpet to cushion her fall but the jarring reality of hardwood 
flooring.  

Darien bolted upright.  Someone was in his room.  The stalker had
finally come for him.  Now where was his bodyguard?  Tapping the bed
here and there trying to find her sleeping form, Darien became 
desperate.  That damned woman had left him!  He was in good physical
shape.  He could protect himself.  And with that resolve, he cautiously
lowered his feet onto the floor.  Blending into the shadows in his room, 
Darien made his way towards the fumbling figure at the other end.   

Rushing forward with lightning speed, he grabbed the intruder and hauled
her up by the collar.  When he figured who was trying to kill him, he
was going to make sure that that person never saw daylight again.

Serena squealed in surprise.  One minute she was crawling back towards the
bed, the next she was plastered against a wall.  Out of instinct, she
struggled, kicking out at her attacker.

"Malcolm!  Zach!"

Her ears were still ringing with his shouts.  Darien Chiba was holding her
captive against the wall?  Was he also some kind of sadist?  

"Let me down," she hissed, frustrated and exhausted.

"Not a chance, Missy.  And you've got a pretty bad fashion sense.  Flannel
blouses never did appeal to me," Darien snarled back.

The lights were flipped on, bathing the odd couple with their incandescence.
A wide-eyed Malcolm flew into the room, frantic at the intensity of his
boss' cries for help.  Soon after, Zach shuffled into the room, sleep
still lingering in his mind.

Darien stared at his stalker.  No, he cried silently.  He had not only
ruined his first attempts to impress her, but he had created a lasting
impression of himself as someone belonging to the loony bin.  Serena
glared at the man that was gently lowering her back to the floor.  

Malcolm gawked at them.  Was this the modern way of courtship?  What had
happened to the flowers, the candy, and those romantic love poems?  
Zach, bleary-eyed, was flabbergasted.  Darien and Serena had almost kissed
in the afternoon; now they were sharing a bedroom and wrestling against
the wall.  Funny, he thought, I would have thought that the wrestling
should have been done in bed.




Chapter 5


Darien threw the pen down, and groaned.  This was not working out as he
had planned.  He couldn't think much less write lyrics.  Rena was
treating herself to a bubble bath in his bathtub.  Darien closed his
eyes.  He had been straining to hear the flow of water from the tap,
and the customary sloshing of water in the bathtub.  And then Rena had
to open her mouth and sing.  So what if she was off-key, he thought.  So
what if he couldn't figure out what she had been singing.  He had been
so thoroughly enchanted by the golden siren in his bathtub that he had
failed to think of anything else for the past half hour. 

Darien briefly wondered why bathing was not a spectator sport.  Visions of
bulging bellies, sagging breasts, and grossly overweight women filled his
mind.  Running his fingers through his hair, Darien scrutinized himself in
the mirror.

The bathroom door opened a crack at a time.  Since the coast appeared to be
clear, Serena believed Darien to be elsewhere.  With that settled, she
flung open the door and walked out of the bathroom, clutching the towel
closely to her body.  Blue eyes wandered thoughtfully over her curves.
Turning her head, Serena caught sight of the bedroom's master.  There was
an indescribable look in his eyes.  Indescribably primitive.  With her
breath caught in her throat, Serena watched helplessly as he came towards
her.  He was staring at the towel, his gaze wandering over her curves.
	
"Shit," he said.  
	
"Do you mind?"  
	
"Not at all."  Darien was grinning.  Well, he could certainly put up 
with her if she looked like this all the time.  Now, this look really suited
her.  Wet towel, wet hair, wet body.
	
He pulled her towards him and nuzzled her bare shoulder.  "This
is a bad idea," Serena murmured.  But, hell, why not?  Her legs were shaved.
She was wearing only a towel, and he didn't have to awkwardly remove 
any clothing.  And after everything she had gone through for this man,
she deserved a good orgasm.  At least one, she amended.
	
Darien pulled her closer, inhaling the scent of her body.  "I know,"
he said, "This is a horrible idea."  His lips brushed her earlobe as their
gazes locked for an instant, before his mouth descended upon hers.  
	
The kiss was gentle yet lingering.  I can grow to like this, Serena
thought.  But then again, this man had enough women with which he could 
practise.  She had read in the tabloids that this man was the proud owner 
of a pair of fast hands and a tongue like a lizard, more specifically a 
chameleon.  Actually, Darien knew how to go slow.  Where did tabloids come 
up with these false allegations, she wondered.  
	
Darien knew how to drive a woman crazy.  Sexually, of course.  But
then he was also equally skilled at driving a woman mentally crazy.  He
kissed her again, his tongue rubbing against her lower lip until it 
finally parted.  Their tongues touched, and the kiss deepened.
	
His hands encircled her waist and then at her back, pressing her 
into him.  Either he had one hell of an erection, she thought, or the 
butt of his stupid flashlight was crammed against her stomach.  Hopefully,
it was an erection and she wasn't falling victim to one of her steamier
daydreams.  And if only she could get that big, hard thing into her....
	
"I've got a whole carton of condoms.  Serious investment since
they're top of the line," he mumbled, his mouth occupied elsewhere.
	
Wasn't he the romantic?  Serena couldn't care less.  The way she was
feeling they were going to need a whole lot more than one measly box of
condoms.  
	
Then Darien's mouth was on her again, kissing a wet line down her 
neck, her collarbone, the swell of her full breasts.  The towel soon
disappeared, Darien's mouth descending on her nipple.  Fire flashed
through her.  His hands were everywhere, teasing, caressing....and
his mouth followed the path his hands had previously traced.  His
mouth kissed her stomach, her navel, her....
	
Oh Lord!  Dear God, Darien's tongue was quite similar to that of
a chameleon.  God bless the reptile kingdom, Serena thought dazedly.
Serena closed her eyes, her bare bottom leaning against the counter.  
She was on the brink, just a few more seconds and she would be floating
in heaven blissfully oblivious to the world.  
	
And then, Darien moved his mouth an inch to the right, nuzzling her
inner thigh.
	
"Go back!  Go back!" Serena managed through clenched teeth.
	
"Not yet.  Too soon."  
	
"You've got to be kidding!  It's not too soon!  It's been years!" 
Serena was feeling frantic.  She had finally decided to succumb and this 
moron, this heartless idiot, had decided that 'it was too soon' for her
to fall into her well-deserved sweet oblivion.
	
Darien picked her up and carried her into his bedroom, unceremoniously
dumping her on the middle of his bed.  He stripped off his damp T-shirt
and shorts all the while watching her, his pupils dilated through the 
dark fringe of his eyelashes.  Serena frowned.  She had missed seeing
him strip off his underwear if there, indeed, had been underwear.  He
was naked, his breath coming in ragged gasps.  
	
Oh dear, she was having second thoughts about this.  It had been a
long time, she reasoned, and he was much larger than she had originally
thought.  What if he didn't fit?  Wouldn't that be embarrassing?
	
"No second thoughts," Darien growled.  He was kissing her, ravishing
her with his mouth.  Then he put his finger in precisely that spot.  Serena
gasped as his finger moved a little to the left.  Okay, she thought, he
really wasn't too big.  He was just the right size, she amended.  Now
if only she could figure a way to get him into her, preferably deep into 
her, all her worries would disappear.  It wasn't bad to look at, she 
thought, but what good was it doing bobbing around on its own?  If any
bed-bouncing was going to happen tonight, she would have to instigate it.
Leaving it to Mr. I-can-wait-forever was as good as going to bed alone.
She grabbed him with a small hand, reveling in the feel of him, and tried 
to direct it.  
	
"Not yet," he growled.     
	
"What do you mean 'not yet?'  I think I'm ready," she ground out.
	
"Not nearly as ready as I want you to be," Darien said, initiating
some more of that glorious tongue-torture.
	
Alright, Serena reasoned, if wants to do it this way, that was fine
by her.  Oh yum!  Thirty more seconds and she would be screaming like a
mad woman.  She was getting closer towards the edge, closer and closer....
	
And he moved an inch to the right.  
	
Bastard, she thought.  She reached down and began to stroke him.  She
cupped the sacs and began to lick him, her little, pink tongue darting
back and forth.  
	
"Shit," Darien muttered.  "Rena, please don't do that, honey.  I'm not
made of steel."
	
He sure had me fooled, Serena thought.  She decided to go on a much 
more thorough tasting expedition.  Suddenly galvanized into action,
Darien pushed her back against the pillows, hovering over her.
	
"Not yet," Serena said, "I'm not nearly as ready as I want to be."
	
"The devil you aren't," Darien growled, snapping the condom on.
	
Serena smiled.



Chapter 6


Gosh, Serena thought, I never knew that they came in that size.  She
gaped at the woman's impressive chest size.  Darien had invited 'his 
friend' over for dinner.  Serena was wishing that this 'friend' sink
beneath the floor boards and disappear.  How anyone could consider this
woman only as a 'friend' was beyond her understanding.

At six feet, Marie Holyfield was a gorgeous brunette with an outstanding
figure.  Her green eyes glowed, her glossy mane fell in seductive waves,
and she just positively oozed sensuality.  Serena was acutely miserable.
Standing beside her, she felt terribly awkward and painfully gauche.
This reminds me of junior high, she thought dolefully.  Wonderful
junior high where the boys had avoided her like the Bubonic plague
and the girls had laughed at her misery.

"Marie," Darien said warmly.

Now did she have to remain in the room when Darien had sex with Marie
or could she go home and cry her heart out, Serena wondered.  For all she
cared, Marie can just go drown in the toilet.  And maybe if she was
lucky, Serena may return to help flush her down the toilet.  She 
had to stop this infatuation with Darien Chiba immediately before she 
turned into some spiteful, malicious spinster.  

"Darien," Marie replied, her voice dripping in honey.  Her green eyes
sparkled as Darien gallantly brought her outstretched hand to his lips.
Marie's full lips curved into a stunning smile as she met Darien's gaze.


---------------------------------------

She was beyond angry.  Just who did this guy think he was, anyway?  He
invited this incredible brunette for dinner, danced on Marie's attendance,
and kissed her soundly good-night.  All the while, he couldn't have
cared less about his 'charming bodyguard' while his 'friend' was in the
house.  And now after successfully completing a 360 degree turn, Darien
Chiba was trying to seduce her.  Serena was simmering silently, waiting
for the whole volcano of emotions to erupt.

"What's wrong, honey?"  Darien hovered around her, his eyes full of concern.
Thanks to Zach, he now had one very angry Serena to contend with.  How 
could he have ever thought that Zach's plan would work?

"What's wrong?  What's wrong?  What possibly could be wrong?"  Through
gritted teeth, Serena fought off the urge to fly into his arms.  Jeez, 
what was wrong with her?  Maybe she should go keep her Uncle Dick company
at the Happy Farm, the very modern facility for the terminally insane.
Uncle Dick's been wanting to see her for ages.  He kept writing her these
long letters.  So what if he was a little cuckoo?  She could cope.

"Darling, you're flustered," Darien said calmly.  

Why was he treating her like some skittish mare?  She was perfectly happy
in her flustered state.  Why should he care?  If he hadn't been busy
french-kissing Ms. Silicon Implants, he would have noticed her flustered
state much earlier.  Serena promptly glared at him, chill entering her
eyes.

No, he thought, anything but the cold stare.  Next time Zach suggested
something he was going to tell his guardian to put a sock in his mouth.
Gently, Darien wrapped his arms around Serena's slim waist.  She, however,
had different plans.  She broke out of his embrace and whirled on him,
her blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"Fuck you!"

Darien smirked.  So, he had gotten under her skin after all.  Just
like she had gotten under his.  Well, his little, hot-headed beauty
was in for a surprise.  

"Are you offering?"

"Wha -What am I offering?"  Serena frowned at his smirk.  How could he 
smirk at a time like this?  Jerk, she thought.  Thoughtless jerk.  

"To fuck me," Darien replied, a dark brow arching.  Serena can make these
outrageous demands anytime she wanted to.  And, he thought, Zach was 
getting a raise.

"You know, darling, I'd prefer to make love," Darien continued seductively.

"Well, godamnit, make love to yourself," she spat.  How could he be so
smooth?  Serena closed her eyes, willing herself not to think of all the
countless women whom he had feasted upon during his climb to the top.

"Rena," Darien said softly, his voice deliberately low, "I would rather
you conquer me with your soft lips upon mine than to have you slay me
with your words.  Words that you will no doubt regret."

Zach was not getting a raise; he was getting a major tongue-blistering.
Darien swore softly as he took in the sight of her.  His bodyguard.  A
little on the petite side, he thought, but nevertheless, his soul mate in
every way.  The liquid blue of her eyes caught his breath, as his heart
swelled with pride as he watched her rally.  By god, she didn't want
him to see her cry.

"Can you not," Serena asked, "leave me some pride?"

Before he could speak another word, she flung herself into his arms.  Her
buried in his crook of his arms, Darien closed his eyes as his hands played
with the silken mass of her hair.  Thank you God, he whispered.  Thank
you for this angel You sent me.  Thank you so very much.




Chapter 7


"Are you spying, Malcolm?"  

Malcolm started at the voice.  Zach.  He turned around to see Zach peer 
over his shoulder and out the window.  Zach arched a sardonic, golden
brow.  Darien was showing Rena the estate grounds, and by the look of
things, that wasn't the only thing he was showing her.  Some were born
lovers, Zach philosophized, and others were born miserable, hence Malcolm's
presence on Earth.

"She's only going to hurt him," Malcolm finally said.

"Darien's a big boy.  He can handle himself," Zach replied, studiously
staring at the pretty tableau outside.  He watched as Serena hid behind
a tree as Darien prowled mockingly in search of her.  Darien trapped the
blonde, and laughingly advanced towards her.


-------------------------------------------

"Now that you've caught me, what are you going to do?"  Serena gazed at
the large man advancing towards her from beneath golden tipped lashes.
She smiled sweetly, the look of innocence.

Darien laughed, a hearty chuckle escaping form his lips.  Serena could be
tough when she wanted to, and so could he.  But underneath both their
layers of toughness lay a reservoir of light and laughter that waited
patiently to be found.  And he had found hers, just as she had found his.

"Now there's a question," Darien answered huskily, already sidling up to
the laughing nymph.  His head bent down as his mouth slanted downwards
resolutely.  





Chapter 8


"Can't you keep your mind off sex for a little while?"

"Why?  It's very happy there."

Serena sighed.  Telling Darien to focus was asking for the rain not to be
wet.  Why try?  Because she was supposed to protect this man, and she 
needed his cooperation in and out of bed.

"Couldn't you try to focus on the problem at hand?"

Darien grinned boyishly.  "I believe that my main problem would be to 
remove that pretty sundress from your luscious body as quickly as possible."

Serena bit back a smile.  Mustn't encourage the lad, she thought.  Her
eyes strayed to the hopelessly rumpled sheets covering the bed.  Focus,
her mind chided.

"What would you say if I were to return to my nunnish ways?"  Serena
cocked her head towards Darien, amused by his bewildered expression.

"Your nunnish ways?"  Just where did she come up with these things?  If
she were to return to her 'nunnish ways,' then he would have to revert to
his 'monkish' ways.  Darien was deeply perplexed.  He had decided long ago
to give up the idea of becoming a man of cloth.  Darien was nonplussed.

"Exactly," she said, amused by Darien's reaction.

"Could you please repeat the problem at hand?"  Darien surrendered.  If he
was going to lose then he may as well do it graciously.  He grinned when
he caught Serena's smile.  

"Do you know anyone who would want to cause you harm?" 


-----------------------------------

Several hours later, Serena was satisfied at the progress they had made.
She had compiled a list of suspects, and had narrowed it down to two
suspects.  All in all, she had been incredibly successful.  Now, she
thought, if only she could meet Tweedlepunk and Tweedleslut to confirm
her suspicions.

Lucky for her, Rei Hino was in the private eye business.  Serena smiled as 
she thought of her friend.  They had roomed together in college, and had
been friends ever since.  She would call Rei first thing in the morning
because she had better things to do tonight.  Like selling Darien Chiba
another cannoli.  




Chapter 9


Serena was glowering as she walked into the room.  Darien stared at her,
his eyes widening in surprise.  Some people managed to walk into trouble
on a daily basis.  But damn, Rena managed to yank enough chains during
the day to be rewarded with nice, little love taps from his friendly,
next-door neighbour.  Dear God, he had recruited the bodyguard from Hell.
Rena was persistent, insistent, and strong-willed.  He had specifically
told her that his neighbour, Vinnie wouldn't be pleased to see her on
his doorstep, especially if she intended to grill the poor man.  Vinnie
suffered from paranoia, the consequence of having so many mob connections.

"I'm not even going to ask," Darien simply said.

She glared at him.  How dare he remain so clean and calm when she felt like
shit!  She did his dirty work while he sat at home munching on chocolate.
She was a bodyguard, not some private investigator!  

He had said Vinnie didn't like strangers.  Well, that was the understatement
of the year.  His darling neighbour had threw everything he could find at 
her, everything from eggs to his porcelain vase.  It was too bad he couldn't
figure out how to dismantle his kitchen sink, Serena mused.  Then dear, old
Vinnie had sent out his bodyguards, all of whom outweighed her by at least
a hundred pounds.  

Serena strode swiftly into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Darien heard the water run, and then muttered curses.  The bathroom
door opened, Serena walked out, scowling.

"What's wrong?"  Rena probably needed a sympathetic ear to cuss in.  He'd
let her vent her anger, since she seemed in dire need of it.  Darien
looked at her, ignoring the perpetual frown etched on her face.

"There's egg stuck in my hair because your generous neighbour decided to
bestow me with a dozen of them.  Being the lucky person that I am,
the egg has dried into a yolky cement."

Serena pivoted on her heel, presenting Darien with the backside of her
head and the portion of damaged hair.  Darien grimaced.  Oh boy, she's
lucky that she can't see it.  Rena's hair was tangled together, literally
glued together by the dried egg.

"How bad is it?"  

"Depends on your definition of 'bad.'"  

"It wouldn't come out in the bath.  I think you're going to have to cut
it, the damaged part, I mean," Serena murmured.  

It was nice to know Rena trusted him with a pair of scissors. But she
was going to be infuriated with him if he cut too much.  Jeez, hairstyling
wasn't his specialty.  He could probably croon something to sooth her while
he found Zach.  Zach knew about these things.  

"Honey, I'll alleviate your worries while Zach makes his way here.  I'll
sing something.  Did you have anything in mind?"

"What do you mean Zach's coming?  I asked you to cut it off.  You just take
a pair of scissors and snip off the eggy part."

She turned around, piercing him with her deep blue gaze.  Alright, alright,
he could do this.  How hard could it be, anyway?  All he had to do was
take the offending pieces of hair and cut it with the scissors.  Then
Rena would be grateful.  It was better having a grateful Rena share his
room than a grumpy one.

"Okay, Rena, turn around.  It'll only take a second," Darien said, 
picking up the pair of scissors he had found among shuffled papers and
aftershave.

Serena closed her eyes.  She better not regret this, she thought.  The
cold metallic edge of the scissors' blade was placed between strands of hair.
Snip!  The single 'snip' was then followed by several more.  Dear God,
Serena prayed, please let Darien Chiba leave some hair on my head. 

Darien finally stopped, and promptly stepped back to look at his handiwork.
Lucky for him that it was at the back of her head and not the front.
What Serena did not know could not hurt her.  With that piece of advice,
Darien managed a weak smile.

"How does it look?"  Big, blue eyes fringed with gold blinked at him.  He
gulped.  He fibbed occasionally, then there were those webs of lies he 
spun every now and then.  Now why couldn't he spin one of those intricate
webs right now?

"Hmmm.  It has a certain charm once you get used to it."  

"Really?  Can I see?"

Could she see?  Of course she couldn't see!  She would kill him for the 
big bald spot he had created at the back of her head.  She could 
probably strangle him, or tie him up and choke him with his own toothpaste!

The door swung open as Zach sauntered in.  He had decided to get a second
opinion on the salad dip.  He found it a little too salty for his taste,
but then between the two of them, Darien was the real connoisseur.  

Serena had turned her head around to face the unexpected visitor.  Behind
her, Darien was motioning for Zach to leave.  Zach arched an eyebrow as
he took in the scene before his eyes.  The long strands of golden hair on
the floor, the large pair of scissors, and the guilty look on Darien's
face.

"Taste this and tell me what you think," Zach said, finally breaking the
silence.

Serena sighed.  Yet another male bonding session in the Chiba mansion was
beginning right in front of her, regardless of her presence.  She may
as well go look at her hair, Serena reasoned, since the boys would only
ignore her.  

Heading for the bathroom and its wall full of mirrors, Serena presented 
Zach with an unobstructed view of the back of her head.  Zach stared, his
jaw lowered in an open-mouthed gape.  Holy Macaroni!  

"Is there a good explanation for the bald spot at the back of her head?
I mean, most people, unless they're a monk or something, don't have bald
patches on their head.  I suppose it's a fashion statement although -"
Zach's diatribe rolled to a stuttering stop as Serena whipped around to 
glare heatedly at him.




Chapter 10


"Give it up, girlfriend," Mina cajoled.

"What do you mean?"  Serena blinked, sitting on the hairstylist's chair
waiting for her newly dyed hair to set.  She had impulsively decided to dye 
her hair, after having it cropped close to her head.  The hairstylist had 
reassured her again and again that the bald spot was appropriately covered 
up. Thanks to Darien Chiba, she had had to shell out some more money to fix
her hair, not to mention the exorbitant cost of her new sundress.  

"What I mean," Mina averred, "is that you are positively glowing.  You
look like a woman who has been totally satisfied at doing the deed.  So
how was he?"

"Doing the deed?  What deed?  How was who?"  Serena looked dumbfounded.
She was here trying to relieve herself of Chiba and his antics.  And
look at what Mina wanted to talk about: Darien Chiba.  Great, just great,
her life revolved around the big moron.  Red, she thought.  She'd always
wanted to be a red-head.  

"Oh, don't play dumb blonde with me, Rena," Mina said in exasperation.
Sometimes Rena just didn't understand how to share.  Some people just have
all the luck, Mina mumbled.

"I'm not going to be blonde any longer, Mina," Serena reminded.

"Look, Rena, if I was in your place, I'd spill the beans.  You know and
I know that you've been gloriously -"

Serena looked up through the window pane and out into the bustling mall.
She stared across the mall, her gaze wandering.  A dark-haired man, dressed
in tight jeans and a leather jacket, caught her eye.  He looked familiar.
Why without the droll looking mustache, the huge earring, and the ugly,
red bandana on his head, he looked exactly like Darien Chiba!  Serena's
eyes narrowed as she frowned.  Chiba was casually walking into Victoria's 
Secret.  What did he think he was doing, going about alone, in a crowded 
mall with potential assassins lurking about?  What was he doing without her? 
His wonderful bodyguard that he couldn't do without?  And what the hell
was he doing walking into Victoria's Secret!?

Victoria's Secret.  Did Darien have a secret lover, who received lingerie
by the truckload from the famous rock star?  Or maybe, just maybe, the
lingerie was for Darien himself?  Serena shook her head, trying to banish
the thought.  At least, she amended, he couldn't possibly be as bad as her
uncle.  The things she heard about him caused goosebumps to rise.  Ugh, and
what he did to that goose!  Hiding the salami in the goose was right up
her uncle's alley.

Scowling, Serena disengaged herself from the chair, despite Mina's startled
gasp.  Her hairstylist was busy in the back corner, not realizing that one
of his 'patients' had decided to leave.  Serena opened the salon door, and
went through it, towel and all.  Oblivious to the stares of shoppers, she
stalked to Victoria's Secret.  She would get to the bottom of this,
Serena vowed.  She did not need to have pictures of her uncle and a goose
flash through her mind.  She did not need other similar thoughts of Darien
and an elephant cross her mind either.

Well, Serena thought, she did have to give him credit for daring to enter
'No-Man's Land.'  Scanning the store, Serena's eyes narrowed as she
found her prey.  The red bandana was hard to miss.  She stalked towards
him, ignoring the stares and glares she received.  She finally stopped
right behind him.  Please, she prayed, do not let ogling nubile mannequins
be on his hobby list.  Gaining courage, Serena tapped the man on his
broad shoulders.

Darien whirled around.  His deep blue eyes met hers.  Oh great, he thought,
he would never hear the end of it.  He had thought that buying her a 
present would cheer her up, and ultimately, make her forgive him for the
damage he did to her hair.  He sighed inwardly.  He had missed Serena's
smile, the way it lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle warmly or with
mischief.  He loved the way her sweet lips curved upwards.  He was even 
getting used to the way his heart raced, sometimes skipping a beat, when
she smiled at him, so sweetly, like an angel.  

An avenging angel with a fiery countenance come to slay the wrong-doer, he
thought.  And alas, he was the wrong-doer.  He arched an eyebrow, finally
taking her appearance in fully.  

"What are you doing here?"  Damn the man, she groaned inwardly.  When she
was finally face-to-face staring at him, she couldn't bring herself to
give him the dressing-down he so richly deserved.  All she wanted to do
was kiss the bewildered look of his face.  

"What do you think I'm doing here?"  Better to answer her question with
a question.  The towel, covering her head, bothered him.    

"I don't know.  Maybe you could tell me," Serena replied.  She didn't care
for that ugly bandana on his head.  It covered most of his hair, hair
that she wanted to run her fingers through.  And the mustache glared at
her.

Should he tell her the truth?  He was addicted to her, completely obsessed
with her.  All he could think about was her.  All he wanted was her.  His
treacherous body reacted to the sight of her without fail.  He was going 
mad.  Or should he make her jealous?  Would she find him more attractive
if she thought that there were other contenders for his heart?  As if there
could	ever be other contenders, he thought.

"Alright.  I'm here to buy a gift for someone, someone very special," he
finally replied, deciding to answer with half-truths.

Someone special?  How special that someone must be if he was willing to 
risk his life to buy her a present, she thought dejectedly.  Obviously,
he had neglected to mention that there was actually a special someone
in his life.  And being the idiot that she was, she had hopped into bed
with him without thinking.  God, why was she such a fool where he was
concerned?  He must be amused as hell at her foolish thoughts, for
actually believing that he could possibly care.  She was a nobody; he
was a somebody, and the gap between them can hardly be bridged so 
easily.

"Really?  She must be someone very special, for you to risk your life by
coming here.  I-I could help you pick a gift for her, if you want my
help," Serena mumbled half-heartedly, wishing she were elsewhere.

Darien watched the fire in her eyes die, mentally wondering what could 
cheer her up.  God, she had been magnificent.  The way she had approached
him fearlessly, where others would swoon or cower.  He would like nothing
better to do than to kiss that frown off her lips, and to kiss the tension
away from her.  Why not, his mind countered in challenge.  Here he was
dressed like an idiot with absolutely no taste, in a store where few
would recognize him, if those haughty stares had been an indication to
the women's true feelings.  

Serena's eyes widened as she watched as Darien's mouth purposefully 
lowered towards hers.  His lips touched hers tentatively, hesitant and
unsure.  Serena sighed, and kissed him back gently.  One chaste kiss
was not going to get her evicted from Victoria's Secret for life.
However, when Darien's tongue began to trace the outline of her lower 
lip, Serena gave up all reason and common sense.  She parted her lips,
letting Darien's insolent tongue delve into her waiting mouth.
Oh great, just what she needed:  nirvana.  Alarm bells were going off in
Darien's head, but without giving it further thought, he pulled the
golden temptress tighter against his hard length, preventing her from
escaping as an arm wrapped around her waist.  Belatedly realizing that 
Darien had shoved a hand underneath the towel, Serena raised her head from 
his.

"What's wrong?"  Darien's befuddled senses hurtled their way back towards
reality.  Darien's eyes finally decided to wander away from the stimulating
sight of her mouth.  Her very sweet and giving mouth.  His eyes traveled
upwards passing by the pretty flush on her cheeks, her pert nose, the 
soft look in her eyes, and finally stopped at the sight of her hair.  Other
than the fact that she had cropped her hair, her hair was a blazing mop
of bright orange.

"Shit," he swore unconsciously.

He was staring at her as though she had grew another head.  That was 
a bad sign.  Not to mention that it was rude.  Miss Manners would not
approve of his behaviour.  Serena bent to retrieve the towel that had
fallen to the ground, self-conscious of Darien's undivided attention.

"Is there something wrong, Chiba?"  

Was there something wrong?  Hell, yes!  Just look at her hair!  What was
she trying to do - audition for the role of Ronald McDonald?  Or maybe
she was trying to send him a message, his mind reasoned.  Orange.  What
could she possibly be trying to tell him?  That she was confident
in their relationship, or perhaps, she was ready for change?  Or maybe,
just maybe, she didn't want him.  Gravely, he looked at her, really
looked her.  He was half in love with this impossible girl, he admitted.
And Serena was going to love him, he decided, whether she wanted to or
not.

"Your hair," Darien finally managed in a strangled voice, "is bright
orange."

"Orange?! But I was supposed to be a redhead!"  Without a second glance,
Serena spun on her heel and stormed out of the lingerie store and back
to the hair salon, oblivious to the gawks and gapes she received.

Darien bit back a smile.  A redhead?  Only Serena would want something so
absurd.  He shook his head and paused to examine the lacy peignoir on
display.



Chapter 11


"Would you like to tell me why my hair is orange?  Orange!  I said that
I wanted to be a redhead!  Not some nitwit with orange hair!  I look
like a walking freak!  I'm paying you a hundred bucks for this stupid
hairdo and you come up with this?!"

Mina rolled her eyes.  Rena was making a scene, giving Roberto the
Hairstylist a tongue-lashing worthy of her old Aunt Eugenia.  Roberto
was having difficulty trying to calm down her distraught friend.  
Obviously, Rena shouldn't have walked out of the salon.  

"What do you mean 'it's all my fault?'"

"Miss," Roberto pleaded, "please try to keep your voice down."

"My hair is freaking orange - just like Bozo the clown down at the circus -
and you want me to keep my voice down!"

"Well, if you hadn't walked out, you wouldn't have missed the Rinse and
Set," Roberto retorted.

Rinse and Set?  Roberto does not have a social life, Mina decided musingly.
Rena really did look like Bozo the clown.  At least she didn't look
like a California Raisin like her Uncle Herb, Mina averred.  Finally
resorting to bribery, Roberto motioned for Rena to the back of the salon
where they were not the center of attention.  Half an hour later, Rena
was back in the chair beside Mina.  Mina was amused.  

"So you're still a blonde, huh?"

"Yeah.  I decided that red wasn't my colour," Serena replied calmly, a
fresh towel draped across her shoulders.  

"Well, at least blondes generally have more fun," Mina declared.

"You still up for ice cream?"  

"Always," Mina said, watching Rena unblinkingly gaze at the 
entrance to Victoria's Secret.


-----------------------------------

"So he isn't committed?" Mina was intrigued, after listening to Rena's
barely coherent version of her relationship with Darien Chiba.

Serena picked up a cherry and swirled it around in her ice cream listlessly.
Was Darien Chiba committed to her?  He had trouble remaining committed
to exotic models and perfectly-made movie stars.  What could he possibly
see in her?  Besides a summer fling, she thought.

"He's committed...to sex.  He bought another box of his top of the line
condoms," Serena finally answered, her spirit sinking lower.  She was
going to need more than ice cream to help her this time.


------------------------------------

"Rena's off shopping with her gal pal," Malcolm repeated, glaring across
the table at Zach.

"I don't see what your problem is, Malcolm.  Rena's entitled to have some
time off," Zach drawled.  It was always fun to watch Malcolm's face turn
sour.

"Other than the fact that she's supposed to be Darien's full time bodyguard,
which translates to 24/7 for imbeciles like you," Malcolm ground out.  He
was not going to shout.  He was going to face this calmly.  

"Don't get your panties all bunched up for this.  Unless you like them 
that way," Zach replied smoothly, without missing a beat.

"The problem is that Darien has shown some affection towards Serena, and 
Serena, now off shopping with her gal pal, is going to spread the word.  
Everyone knows that females have extreme difficulty with the task of 
keeping silent.  I do not want to see this become tabloid material."

"So you're telling me that Rena is blabbing all of Darien's sex secrets
to her 'gal pal?'"

"Exactly," Malcolm said triumphantly.  He was finally getting through to
Zach despite his extraordinarily thick skull.  And if Lady Luck did not
desert him, he was finally going to win an argument.

"Well, if you had told me in advance, I would have impeded Rena from 
going out the front door.  I've always wanted to know some of Darien's
sex secrets."  





Chapter 12


"She's where?!"

"At a bachelorette party," Zach answered calmly.  Funny how Darien's
eyes seemed to be bulging from their sockets.

"For God's sake, why?"  What was Rena doing at a bachelorette party?  She
was supposed to come home.  He had wanted to see her walk through his
front door into his home.  God, he had imagined her coming home to him
countless times, since she had come back with egg in her hair.  It had
all seemed so right to him.

"Because her friend is holding the party since she's going to be married 
soon."

Darien glared at him.  How can Zach sit there so implacably while Rena was
out at a bachelorette party?  Didn't he know what went on at these 
festivities?  Darien swore vehemently.  He did not need Rena to become 
exposed to skilled male strippers, gyrating their pelvis suggestively in 
front of her nose.  With their winsome smiles and with the help of alcohol, 
his Rena could be coerced into something she didn't want.

"Where is the party held?"  Through clenched teeth, Darien surveyed his
guardian.  How could he be so irresponsible as to let Rena go out to a 
bachelorette party?

Zach smirked.  He had gotten the address and directions to the party, but
he doubted if Rena was going to be happy to see Darien crash her party.
Oh well, only one way to find out.    
   



Chapter 13


"Jed, is that you?"

"Very funny, Rena.  Do you think you could find me some pants?"  Jed
marveled at his cousin.  He hadn't seen her since she was fifteen,
and boy, was he shocked.  At fifteen, Rena had been homely, with her
braces and glasses.  Evidently, she had filled out and slimmed down.

Serena, on the other hand, could only gawk at her cousin.  She had had
the biggest crush on this man, and never, even in her wildest dreams,
had she thought that Jed would be naked when they were finally reunited.
Sporting a colourful variety of tattoos, Jed stared back at her, pissed
and humiliated.  Well, she supposed, he had every right to be in such
a disagreeable disposition.  Serena paused to examine the 'PENCIL DICK' 
written on his forehead in bright pink and the fluorescent green
'BEWARE OF THE BOBBING WORM' on his chest.  Serena bent her head to see for
herself the accuracy of the written 'observations' blazing in pinks,
greens, and oranges across his body.  Frankly, she didn't think 
'PENCIL DICK' was accurate since she found him to be a bit on the stubby
side.

"Rena, this is not the time to stare at my attributes," Jed ground out.

"I am not staring," she declared, continuing with her analysis.


----------------------------------------------

Darien Chiba had arrived at the pink bungalow, as Zach had directed.  He
was about to knock on the door when he heard voices in the backyard.  Had
the strippers decided to retreat to the backyard for some fresh air?  
Curious, Darien peered through the crack in the wooden fence.  What he
saw shocked him.  His Rena was bent over a naked man, and discreetly
glancing at his schlong.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my girl?!"  

Serena's head lifted in surprise.  That savage growl was distinctly
familiar.  Darien Chiba.  His girl?  She couldn't help but smile.  
She was his girl now, was she?  What was it Mina had said?  Competition
was the answer to her problems.  Darien obviously considered her as part
of his private property.  All she needed to do was prove him wrong.
After all, Mina had insisted that the thrill of the chase was part of
the mating dance. 

"Who the hell is that?"  Jed was not in the mood for visitors.  First,
he had managed to climb into a bush and signal Mina.  Then Mina had sent
Rena to him as he had kindly asked.  Now there was some perverted Peeping
Tom lurking behind the fence.  

"Rena, let me in!  Now!"  Darien roared.  Just what were innocent 
bachelorettes doing with naked men on a lawn?  Sure, the idea of Rena
drawing things on his body had definite possibilities in the bedroom. 
Namely his bedroom.  

"Rena, you know that Peeping Tom?"  No one could show disdain like her 
cousin Jed.  God bless him, she thought.

"I am not a Peeping Tom!  Rena!"  

Serena rolled her eyes heavenward.  The stars were certainly aligning in
her favour lately.  She had somehow become very popular with men within
the last day or two.  Must be my new hair cut, she thought.  Sighing 
theatrically for the benefit of her audience, Rena stretched slowly to
a standing position and headed for the gate.  Sluggishly, she unlocked
the gate to let Darien into the backyard, enjoying his undivided attention.
Lucky for her, the girls had decided to head downtown for some more action.
Putting an extra sway in her hips, she strolled back towards Jed.

"Rena, I can't believe you let him in," Jed choked out.  He did not 
entertain visitors in his birthday suit.  What would his mother say?
Jed blocked out the thought of his mother.  At twenty-seven, his mother
still scared the hell out of him.

"Rena, if you wanted to express your artistic creativity, all you had to
do was ask me," Darien said calmly.  His large hands were clenched into
fists.  He couldn't wait to pound this schmuck into oblivion.  No one
was allowed to lounge nude for his Rena but him.

Artistic creativity?  Serena muffled a giggle.  Maybe the punch really
was spiked, she thought, because this was getting a little too weird
even for her.  

"For God's sake," Jed ground out as Rena's visitor began peering over her
shoulder at him.  Where were those large leaves when you needed them?
Jed turned his back.  He was not going to give in to temptation.  He
was not going to offend his cousin Rena's delicate senses by cuffing
the bastard.  It really pained him to see that she had such lousy friends.

"No thank you," Darien quipped as he arched a brow at the orange 'SCREW
ME' scrawled on Jed's back.  

"That's it!  I've had it with you!  Rena, go find me some pants and take
your time 'cause I'm going to take my time with this bastard," Jed
snarled.

Darien smiled mockingly, the corners of his lips tugging upwards into a
smirk.  'PENCIL DICK' was a little extreme even for Rena.  Darien glanced
down at the woman that he had unceremoniously yanked into his arms.  He
had been holding her possessively against his side ever since he had 
walked into the backyard.  

"Jed," Serena warned softly, "I will sweep the floor, er, lawn with you
if you harm one hair on his head."  Darien's arms tightened around Serena's
waist.

"Why don't we go find this idiot his pants so we can go home?"  Darien
suggested, swiftly pressing a kiss to Serena's head.  Obviously, his Rena
wasn't too pleased with Mr. Pencil Dick, and that pleased Darien 
enormously.

"Darien," Serena said, "I want you to meet my cousin Jed.  And Jed, this
'bastard' is Darien Chiba."

Jed's eyes bugged out.  Darien Chiba the rock star?  What was Rena doing
hanging around a guy like that?  




Chapter 14

Back at the Chiba Mansion


"You're his bodyguard?"  Jed was intrigued.  For whatever reason, Rena
had rejected the prospects of becoming a high school teacher and had
become a bodyguard instead.  The bodyguard of a millionaire rock star. 

"Stop looking so amazed," Serena averred.  Darien had driven them both
back to the Chiba mansion.  Jed had remarked that it looked more like
a mausoleum.  Finally clean, Jed had wanted to talk, and Serena was happy
to oblige despite Darien's provoked look. 

"So, are you packing?"  

"Why should I be packing?"  

"Do you have a license to pack concealed?"

License to do what?  Serena was confused.  What did he mean by 'packing?'
Was she due back for a family outing, or was she supposed to be in the
meat package business?  

"Jed, what exactly am I supposed to be packing?"

"A rod."  

"Am I supposed to go fishing with the family?"  Why else would she pack
a rod?  Serena was having serious doubts about the wisdom of talking to Jed.
He was talking some sort of gibberish, some sort of male code that she
could not decipher.

Jed roared with laughter, his blue eyes twinkling.  Rena hadn't changed 
very much since the last time he saw her.  She was still an innocent.  At
the perplexed expression on her face, Jed sobered somewhat.

"No, Rena, you're not supposed to go fishing.  I was merely asking if you
were carrying," Jed said.

Was she carrying?  Serena was baffled.  She certainly hoped that she was
not carrying, if Jed was alluding to her recent sexual involvement with
Darien.  She couldn't be pregnant, could she?  Darien had assured her that
his condoms were the top of their line. 

"I don't think I'm carrying," Serena replied somewhat lamely, visions of
Chiba sperm swimming through her head.  She was not pregnant.  She couldn't 
be.

"But you should be," Jed stated flatly.

How would he know if she were preggers, anyway?  Serena was suddenly feeling
ill.  Concerned, Jed searched Rena's pale face.  

"Rena, are you alright?"  Jed clasped one warm hand in her two clammy ones.
Fearful blue eyes gazed back at him.

"I'm not pregnant, Jed.  I can't be," Serena whispered.

In a state of bewildered shock, Jed reviewed everything that they had both
said.  Serena had said that she couldn't be pregnant.  But why was she 
talking about buns in her oven, anyway?  All he had asked was if she was
carrying.  Suddenly, Jed understood.

"Rena," Jed said softly, "I was only asking if you were carrying a gun."

"Oh," Serena managed to choke out.  She was feeling foolish.  Her cheeks
heightened in colour to a startling pink.  She must look like a bright, red
tomato.  "I have a gun with me, but I'm not 'carrying' it at the moment."

"I see.  Well, you know if you need help protecting Chiba, I'll be more than
happy to help," Jed offered.

Serena cocked a brow in disbelief.  Jed had been an accountant who, he
had explained, was currently unemployed.  The accounting firm had decided
to lay off a few dozen people.  Good ol' downsizing was happening every 
where but at the top.  Thus, he no longer had A-1 credit or a girlfriend.
His girlfriend had dumped him on his naked ass in a public park, all
tattooed with witty remarks.

Looking at the plea in his blue eyes, Serena couldn't ignore the beseeching
look in them.  She sighed softly.  The things I do for family, she thought,
shaking her head.

"Alright, partner," Serena finally said, grinning at the boyish gleam 
entering Jed's eye.




Chapter 15


At Jed's enthusiastic urgings, Serena had decided to show him her gun...
at the dinner table.  Darien was not too thrilled by the idea of having
'Pencil Dick' as his bodyguard's second banana.  Dear God, if things
kept going at this rate, he'd have Serena's family living with him within
the next year.  Darien glowered at Jed before turning his head to the
roast turkey that Zach was expertly carving.  It was almost disheartening
for Darien to learn that there were no limits to what he would do to 
keep Rena by his side.

Jed's face lit up in delight.  His own sweet, innocent cousin owned a gun,
and a pretty damn fine one, too.  The Wesson .38 was easy to use and more
importantly easy to carry.  Then there was that big can of Mace, and 
that other stuff.  Sure Guard.  Serena had said that the stuff attacked
one's neurotransmitters leaving him/her down for the count.  Pretty
ingenious, Jed thought.  

Malcolm was busy on his seventh glass of wine.  God, the Tsukino family
was invading his world.  He had accidentally run over Serena's aunt the
other day.  Lucky for him, Serena's aunt was a forgiving person.  She
had insisted that he give Serena her regards and that large home-made
sausage.  Then he had bumped into Grandma Tsukino, who just happened to
be single with a healthy libido.  Grandpa Tsukino had decided to visit 
Elvis a little earlier than the doctors had predicted much to Grandma 
Tsukino's chagrin.  Malcolm shuddered.  The loquacious Grandma Tsukino had 
informed him that she enjoyed visiting funeral parlours as a hobby.  Just 
to make sure she knew what she wanted when she croaked, she had said.  That,
Malcolm thought in retrospect, he could stand.  What he couldn't stand was 
the way Grandma Tsukino was hitting on him in bright blue Spandex shorts.  
Those knobby knees and stories of rug burn filled his mind.  Malcolm 
swallowed some more wine.  

Crash!  

Splinters of shattered glass from the window fell to the floor.  Someone had
broken the window, and that someone was running into the garden.  After
a moment of shock, Serena was galvanized into action.

"Jed, give me my gun.  Now!"

Jed looked at his cousin stupidly.  He had good aim; he would shoot the
trespasser.  Without another thought, Jed sighted down the barrel.

Bang!

A flash erupted from the barrel and the turkey was in flight for
a brief moment before landing on the broken plate.  Zach's eyes were
wide with horror.  Darien was standing, holding the Sure Guard firmly
in his hand, pointed at Jed.  Malcolm was praying for salvation.  Serena
pried the gun from Jed's hands and gingerly stepped past the shattered
glass on the floor.  She quickly leaped through the gaping hole in the
window, and once having landed on the ground, promptly took off running.

Jed's eyes widened as he watched Darien advance on him menacingly, Sure 
Guard in hand.  In defense, Jed put his hands up.  

"Look, it wasn't that bad a shot for my first time," Jed stammered.  "I
shot the turkey right in the gumpy."

"I'm going to pound you right in the gumpy," Darien promised.  

"Uh, Darien?"

"Yeah, Zach?"

"Rena's going to pound both of you in the gumpy if she finds out that you
were fighting."

Darien growled.  Why did Zach always have to ruin his fun?  'Pencil Dick'
had been cruisin' for a bruisin' ever since they had met.  Since then,
cousin Jed had ruined his dinner, broke an irreplaceable plate which was 
part of a set, shot his turkey in the gumpy, and took up most of his Rena's
time.  The latter fault was unforgivable.  Thus, Darien gripped the 
Sure Guard can and pushed the button, spraying the nerve gas in Jed's
face.  Cousin Jed went down just like the Titanic, Darien thought with
satisfaction.

"Christ," Malcolm said, gulping down another glass of wine.



Chapter 16

 
"Do you think Rena's alright?"

Zach's eyes followed Darien across the room.  Darien Chiba should have been
a lawnmower.  He certainly had the motor skills of one, Zach amended.  
Darien kept pacing worriedly.  After alerting security, Darien had waited
for Serena to return.  But she hadn't returned.  Never was he letting
her out of his sight again.  Never ever, Darien vowed.  God, where could
she be?  

Malcolm was sprawled on the couch after passing out from too much wine.
At least he hadn't spewed his guts all over the Persian rug, Zach thought 
wryly.  Unlike cousin Jed.  It turned out that vomiting was a side effect
of Sure Guard.  Darien should have used the Mace, Zach mused, because it
was a hell of a lot cleaner.



Chapter 17


"You look like shit," Rei Hino exclaimed.  She was hardly surprised since
Rena tended to get a little too emotionally involved with her cases.  Rena
had trouble with the concept that cases were just business, nothing 
personal.

"Gee, thanks.  I feel like shit, too," Serena answered.  She had took
off running after the trespasser half an hour ago.  She had nearly 
caught the hooded figure when someone had hit her hard on the head.  
Serena had woke up from her unconscious oblivion in a dumpster right
outside the local Kentucky Fried Chicken.  And to think she ate that
crappy fast food all the time.  Serena shuddered in disgust.

Patches of ketchup and mustard clung to her gray slacks.  Her hair was
a mess, breaded with crumbs and other gunk.  Serena grimaced.  She
smelled like that goddamned skunk that had been run over at least
fifteen times on the highway.  Rei's house had been her closest refuge.

Rei shook her head.  These things only happened to Serena Tsukino.  No one
else seemed to have the problems Rena did.  Rei motioned for her friend to 
use the shower.


--------------------------------------

An hour later, Serena emerged from the shower with satisfaction.  She was
going to have to replace the shampoo she had used up, and that bar of 
lavender-smelling soap.  Serena glowered at her reflection in the mirror.
Dear God, she had a lump as big as a golf ball on her forehead!  Wailing
in frustration was not going to help, Serena reasoned.  With that in 
mind, she carefully dressed in the T-shirt and spandex that Rei had left 
for her in the bathroom.


----------------------------------------

Serena Tsukino was not in a good mood when Rei found her next.  Rena was
glaring at the phone with vehemence.  Obviously, the call to Darien 
Chiba had not gone well.  Rei handed Rena a mug of hot coffee.  There
was nothing a good cup of coffee couldn't fix.

"Those names I gave you the other day.  Did you find anything on them?"
Blue eyes gazed questioningly at Rei.  Business as usual, Rei thought wryly.

"Yeah, I did.  The girl, Ann Medici, who had been a former maid in the 
Chiba household, now works as a call girl down on Stalk.  The guy's her 
pimp.  Seems that the girl has always been a little too high-strung, or so 
her friends insinuate."

Serena paused, the mug of coffee cupped in her small hands.  Rei always
knew where to dig, and her friend had the tenacity to see everything 
through.  

"So the girl's got a thing, an obsessive thing, for Darien.  And Alan
King's got a thing for the girl.  He figures that he can get rid of
Darien to get the girl.  The girl figures that if she can't have Darien
then no one can.  Two sickos get together, and we have a twisted motive
for murder and mayhem," Serena finished.

"That's basically what I figured," Rei said, "except there's no proof to
bring them in.  All we've got is circumstantial evidence at best.  It 
won't hold up in any court of law.  By the way, how'd you know it was the 
maid?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson.  I figured that the person would have had
access to the household since all the previous attacks on Darien had
been carefully planned and executed.  Security system didn't go off.
No real witnesses.  No real proof.  And maids do tend to gossip.  I
merely eavesdropped."

Rei arched an eyebrow, and slowly sipped her coffee.  Ah, caffeine.
What would she do without caffeine?  Rei studied her friend for a
moment, noting Serena's guarded expression.

"Actually, Rena, I was thinking.  Maybe you could go down to Stalk Street
and ask a few questions.  You know, any funny things happening, any
weird characters in the neighbourhood.  Basically poke your nose in
their affairs and be an all-round nuisance.  Things that come naturally
to you.  I'll have you wired up in case anything happens.  Whatever happens 
will reach the pimp's ears by the end of the day.  He'll either be scared
or stupid."

"In other words, you're going to dangle me on Stalk Street as live bait,"
Serena said.  Boy, Rei really worried her sometimes.  

"Rena, it's not as if you can't handle yourself.  I've seen you in action,
and damn, you're almost as good as me."  Serena rolled her eyes.  Rei
ignored her.

"And besides, remember Mikey the Mole?"  Rei was certain that Rena would
remember Mikey.  

"Mikey the Mole.  Ugh, how can you bring him up?  He was called Mikey the 
Mole because it didn't matter where he put his ding-dong, as long as
it was in a hole."

Just the thought of Mikey the Mole left a bitter after taste in Serena's
mouth.  Yeah, she remembered Mikey the Mole.  How could she forget?
He had hit on her big time a few years back.  His enthusiasm had wavered
when she had finally decided to give him a sandwich.  A knuckle sandwich 
packed with a good dose of wallop. 

"I'll ask Darien what he thinks first," Serena finally said.  She didn't
think Darien would let her out of the house much less out on Stalk Street.
It was just as well, Serena thought, because she hated Stalk Street.



Chapter 18


"Have you lost your mind?  Absolutely not!"

Serena sighed.  See, she knew that Darien would object.  She just didn't
expect him to do it so loudly or so forcefully.

Darien Chiba had had a restless night of tossing and turning.  He had 
nearly dragged Serena to the hospital when he had first seen the bump
on her forehead.  But she had stubbornly refused to go, assuring him 
that it was alright.  Darien shook his head.  Having that big a bump on
one's forehead was certainly not a healthy thing.  The fierce purplish
red of her bump would die down to a sickish green in several days.
Darien was not letting the impetuous blonde out of his sight for the
next few weeks.

"Why not?"  

"Why not?!  Rena, this is Stalk Street we're talking about," Darien 
refrained from yelling.  He didn't appreciate Rena getting hurt in the line
of duty.  He knew that she was supposed to take the bullet, if it ever 
came down to that.  Darien honestly didn't know how he was going to 
Rena from trouble.  She didn't seem like the type that would demurely sit 
by the fireplace knitting.  She didn't seem like the type that could sit
still for more than three minutes.  

"Darien, you're being unreasonable.  I've been on Stalk Street many, many
times.  One more time's not going to make a big difference," Serena said.
She was not going to show him her mounting exasperation.  If he thought 
that would discourage her, he was dead wrong.  In fact, it made her want
to go all the more.

"Rena, you've got a big lump on your head from your adventure last night.
Couldn't you wait a few more days before you race out onto Stalk Street?"

"I suppose I could go tomorrow," Serena replied.  At least, she now had
time to pick out an outfit for her adventure tomorrow.  People on Stalk
Street had this strange sense of loyalty, that demanded they stick together
during certain crisis.  Like when someone asked questions.

Darien threw up his hands.  Well, if she thought that she could go without
him, she was out of her mind.  Darien briefly wondered how he could 
persuade Dr. Andrew to make a house-call.  


----------------------------------------------


Tomorrow dawned bright and early.  And much too soon for Darien's liking.
His only consolation was that Rena had finally relented and let him have
his way.  He was going on their afternoon excursion provided he followed 
certain rules.  He was to stay in the van at all times.  The van, which 
would be driven by Rei Hino, would follow Serena's movements and record her 
conversations with the friendly people out on Stalk Street.  The bathroom 
door opened and Serena stepped out.  Darien's eyes bulged out.

Serena Tsukino was all decked out in her slut outfit.  She had taken the
time to apply a liberal dose of blue eye shadow, gunk up her eyelashes
with mascara, and paint her mouth harlot red.  She had done the mousse
and hair spray thing until her short hair was puffed up to her 
satisfaction.  Her bangs hid the lump on her forehead.  Serena had dragged 
her suitcase out, and sifted through her Lilliputian wardrobe.  She had 
finally found her tight, strapless top that revealed as much cleavage as 
was possible.  It was even a startling siren red.  A short, leather mini 
skirt and stiletto heels completed her outfit.  As a finishing touch, 
large, bright red hoop earrings adorned her lobes.

"Where did you put the transmitter?"  Darien's eyes scanned Serena's body,
noting dully how much he wanted her.  She wasn't wearing the miniature
wiring device underneath her top.  That was for sure, Darien averred.

"In my underwear.  It was visible everywhere else."  Serena's eyes 
twinkled wickedly as Darien gulped visibly.

Darien briefly wondered if Rei would let him keep the transmitter when
the day was through.  The next thing he knew he was kissing a laughing
blonde, his mouth devouring hers.



Chapter 19


"No, absolutely not!"

"Why not?"  Darien ground out, his teeth clenched.  Cousin Jed was not
staying in his house.  Period.  Unless, Jed decided to do him a little
favour.  However, cousin Jed was not being cooperative.

Jed glowered at the man standing before him.  God, was he insane?  Why
would anyone ask him to go out on Stalk Street, wired and dressed like
a hooker?  

"Jed, think it over.  You don't have a place to stay since your girlfriend
kicked you out.  Why she didn't do it sooner is beyond me.  So, you
thought you could stay here.  Well, guess what?  You better start packing
unless you agree to my little plan.  It's not such a big deal, anyway.
You dress up like a girl.  So what?  You might like it.  I mean, where would
you go, anyway?  Your mother's?"

Not Mama's, Jed thought.  She would only beret him for being a failure,
then gleefully play matchmaker.  He was not going to sit through another
date with Roadhouse Rhonda!

"Where's the costume, Chiba?"

Darien smiled.  


----------------------------------------------

Serena gawked.  She had been relieved when Darien had said that he had
found a substitute, but she had never thought that he would subject her
cousin to do it.  At the beginning, Darien had been delighted with her 
outfit.  An hour later, he had forbidden her to leave the grounds of 
the Chiba estate.

Jed, the man that had previously been her crush, was in drag.  Ugh, Serena
thought.  Jed's eyelashes sprung out like spider legs.  His hair stood up
on its ends.  Maybe Jed had stuck his finger in the electrical socket,
Serena considered thoughtfully.  Serena's gaze traveled over Jed's
inflated chest, the short mini-skirt, and stopped at his hairy, hairy
legs.  

"Uh, Darien?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"  Jed had never looked better, in his opinion.  Darien
stood back to take in the full effect of his handiwork.  Not bad, he
thought, not bad at all.

"Is Jed parading around as a European harlot?"

Jed paled.  He was not shaving his legs.  Darien Chiba couldn't make him
shave his legs.  No way, no how.



Chapter 20


Three hours later, Jed sulked inside the blue van.  He still couldn't
believe that he had shaved his legs.  Jed was now convinced that Darien
Chiba was the Devil's own son.  What did his cousin see in him, anyway?

"Where'd you put the transmitter?"  Rei was setting up the recorder,
already feeling exasperation pool its way into her voice.  She had had
to find a second transmitter since Darien Chiba had refused to part with
the first.  And now, she was going to put a novice on Stalk Street.

"In, um, her cleavage," Darien said, one arm slinging around Serena.  
Serena rolled her eyes.  

"Fine," Rei said curtly.  "Okay, Jed, this is what you're going to do.  
You're going to ask if Alan King is accepting new recruits.  Be prepared
for rude replies.  Alan King happens to be a big man on Stalk.  No one
likes to be seen talking about him behind his back.  Especially the 
girls.  Anyway, the word will get back to him soon enough.  While you're
out there, you may as well ask about Ann Medici."

"Jed," Serena began, "take this pocketbook.  There's a can of Sure Guard
and Mace in there, as well as a few things all ladies carry.  No girl
goes anywhere without her pocketbook."

Jed accepted the pocketbook with a weak smile.  Stalk Street, here I
come, he thought.  Just the thought made him weak in the knees.

"Be careful, Jed," Serena said.  "Don't get killed."


----------------------------------------

Half an hour later

"How's it going?"  Serena asked.

"Not bad.  All things considered," Rei replied. 

"Good.  I see Jed."  Serena smiled at a strangely silent Darien.  

Shadowy figures emerged from the dark alley.  Two figures that loomed
over Jed's unsuspecting back.  Jed turned his head to the presence, and
promptly skedaddled awkwardly towards the van.

A few more metres.  Jed would be safe in the van.  Serena silently prayed
that Jed would hurry.  He had been doing so well, she thought.  She
sat forward reaching for the latch on the van door.  She didn't care if
Rei yelled at her for botching up the recording.  This was her cousin,
after all.

Jed, in his panic, had tripped over his own foot, and hurtled through the
air before landing on the hard pavement.  The figures launched themselves
towards the fallen Jed.  Instinctively, Jed swung the pocketbook at the 
first man.  Taking out the spray can, Jed sprayed the second man.  Without
another thought, Jed got up and began sprinting towards the van.

"Damn," Darien swore, "what did Jed use?  It sure as hell wasn't the 
Sure Guard or the Mace."

"Hair spray.  Damnit, Jed sprayed the guy with hairspray!"

Serena opened the van door as Jed hopped in quickly.  Darien swung the van
out from the curb and took off down the street, tires squealing.  The
van left behind a cloud of dust and two coughing men.



Chapter 21


"How's it going, Rei?"

"Nothing, Rena.  Absolutely nothing."

"We must have hit some nerves after the reception we got."

"Yeah, but whose?"

Rei flipped off the recorder in dismay.  Serena closed her eyes.  They 
were in for a long night.  They needed to review the entire situation
and revise their opinions.

"I'll get the coffee," Serena offered.


--------------------------------------------------


"King, if King is actually part of this, sent two bozos after Jed," Rei
said, half collapsing in exhaustion three hours later.

"Which means that he can simply send assassins out to kill Darien.  He has
the money, the talent and the means.  Why do it himself when he doesn't
have to?"

"Rena, we've got no case then.  I mean, how do you take down Stalk 
Street's Titan?  You can't."

"What about the thrill of killing?  Revenge?  I mean, wouldn't Ann want
to kill Darien herself?  To know she can take his life when he is powerless
to stop his own death."

"Alright, Super-Brain.  How are we going to catch her in the act?"

"No clue.  No stinkin' clue."  


----------------------------------------------


Sunlight drifted in through the partially open blinds.  Serena moaned.
This cannot be day, she thought.  Birds chirped cheerfully, flitting
about outside.  To hell with the lark and bring back the stupid 
nightingale, Serena demanded silently.  In a zombie-like trance, she 
managed to sit up, her vision blurred.  

Darien peeked into his library to find Rei Hino sprawled on the couch,
her face slack with sleep.  Serena noticed Darien and managed a wan 
smile.  Glancing over at Rei, Serena frowned.  She certainly hoped that
her mouth did not hang open like that when she slept with drool on the
verge of dripping out.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," Darien murmured, bringing in a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," Serena said as she accepted the cup.  Mmmmm...caffeine.  
Oh well, Darien thought, at least I'll never be upstaged by another 
man in her books.  The only thing Rena needed was a cup of coffee.  

"Missed you last night," Darien said, sitting down beside Serena on the
love seat.  He smiled at the leap of joy in her blue eyes.  Like the 
clearest of spring skies, he thought as he appraised her eyes.

Before Serena could answer, loud screams pierced the morning.  Serena
turned to look questioningly at Darien.  He seemed unperturbed. 

"Maybe I should go check," Serena said.  Duty calls, she thought, but why
did it have to call so early?

"Don't bother.  They're under control," Darien replied, his eyes twinkling.

"They?"

"My loyal legion of fans have come to pay a morning visit.  Happens all the
time.  The last few days have been unusually quiet.  I was getting
worried," Darien joked.

"The Darien Chiba Estrogen Brigade," Serena muttered.  Wonderful, she
winced, loonies who have no sense of time.  They could at least have
waited for an afternoon call.

"Thinking of joining?"

Serena glanced up at a smiling Darien.  She realized that he was covering 
up his true feelings.  Tenderly, she stroked his taut jaw.  God, she
could see other mornings like this.  Morning after morning of quiet bliss.

"No," she whispered.  "I don't think I could stand not being the President
of the Brigade.  After all, I am Darien Chiba's biggest, most loyal,
most devoted fan in the entire world."




Chapter 22


"That is absolutely absurd!  What possessed you to even suggest such a 
thing?"

Darien held his hands up in mock surrender.  Jeez, Rena was really skilled
in the arena of raving and ranting.  It was too bad that he was on the
receiving end.  He had merely mentioned that he would like to go
out to a fancy restaurant for dinner.  

Serena let out a breath of air in a noisy whoosh.  Why couldn't Darien see
that he would only be endangering his own life by going out?  She still
couldn't figure out why the intruder had only broken the window to the 
dining room.  She still couldn't figure out a way to find proof of Ann's
murderous intent, without harming anyone else.  Jed had decided to move
out of the Chiba mansion after their excursion on Stalk Street.  

"Rena," Darien said softly, his arms encircling her waist.  "The only
reason I mentioned it was because I have the craziest urge to spoil you
silly.  I just thought that a nice candlelit dinner would loosen the 
both of us up."

Her wall of resistance came tumbling down.  Slowly, she turned her head
and laid a chaste kiss on his cheek.  Serena sighed, reveling in his
strength and in his warmth.  

"Darien," Serena murmured after a small bout of silence.

"Hmm?"

"The only reason I refused to go was because I don't want to endanger your
life.  I have the funniest feeling that something bad's going to happen
tonight."

"Why don't you change your premonition of evil into one of extreme bliss?
I plan on having a little private celebration after dinner.  You and me.
Without interruptions."

"I suppose you can't take 'no' for an answer?"

Darien laughed.  Difficult.  This woman was being difficult.  And he 
wouldn't have expected anything less from her.

"Couldn't you just simply say 'yes?'"


------------------------------------------------


The blood red Mercedes squealed out of the driveway and onto the road.
Serena snapped her seatbelt on, and clutched her seat for further 
support.  Just what was the speed limit in this area, anyway?  

"Darien, maybe I should drive?"

Darien glanced over at his companion and grinned.  He floored the gas
pedal.  So, his tough, incorrigible bodyguard didn't like speed.  What a 
pity.  

"Could you slow down a bit?  Ease off the gas pedal?" 

"Darling, relax.  This isn't your Buick.  You wouldn't want our friendly
murderers to know that we're out of the house."

"Darien, I think I'm going to hurl!"

The tires shrieked as Darien slammed on the brakes.  

"Honey, you don't want to do that.  You don't want to hurl."  Not in my
new car, Darien added silently.  Darien quickly got out of the car and
solicitously hovered over Serena.

"Fresh air.  Take a walk with me," Darien ordered.  

Serena finally took in her surroundings.  She swore.  Stalk Street.  
Darien Chiba stopped the car a block away from Stalk Street.

"Get in the car.  Now!"  Serena ushered a startled Darien back to the 
driver's side of the car.

"Stay where you are or else blondie gets it!"  Ann Medici strode hard on
her stiletto heels towards the mismatched couple.  After she took care
of Darien Chiba, she was going to buy herself a lottery ticket.  Lady
Luck seemed to favour her today.

Serena stared at the armed woman with the glittering dark eyes.  Fear 
crawled into her being.  Serena clasped her pocketbook closer to her
body.




CHapter 23


"Bitch," the high-pitched voice hissed.

Serena looked at her accuser.  Ann Medici.  Shoulder length
brown hair.  What would have been a pretty face was ruined with
bitterness.  So much hate, Serena thought as she stared into Ann's eyes.

"Well, well, well.  Now that you've found me, what are you gonna do?  Huh?
Kind of different when you're on my turf?  Well, don't you worry your
pretty head about it.  Alan has prepared a little reception party for
you and your Romeo," Ann sneered.  How could such a worthless bastard look
so good?  Damn him for the way he still made her feel.  Damn him for
his looks.  Damn him for everything that had gone wrong.  Damn him to hell,
she thought darkly.

Darien glared at Ann.  He grasped Serena's hand.  The meaning was clear.
Ann meant nothing to him.  Not now, not then.  

Ann Medici seethed.  She pulled out a .38 and pointed it at Darien's chest.
Forget Alan and his little cat and mouse games.  This was what she
wanted; this was what she was going to do.

Serena sized Ann up.  Ann was muttering.  The only thing that could go 
wrong was if Ann decided to shoot them both up simultaneously.  Serena
closed her eyes.  Distraction to thine enemies was rule number one in
her books.

"The hills are aliiive with the sound of music," Serena warbled, her
hand reaching into her pocketbook for her gun.  Bad choice, Serena thought.
It would help if she knew the next line.

Darien gaped at the blonde by his side.  Ann Medici was pointing a gun at 
his chest and she was playing Fraulein Maria?  He was going to become Swiss
cheese and his bodyguard decided to give a beneficiary concert to his
murderer.  Go figure. 

Ann rolled her eyes.  Okay, she thought, forget the dumb blonde.  Serena
Tsukino couldn't find her ass with both hands.  Ann cocked the gun and
sighted down the barrel.

"Eat dirt and die," Ann muttered, her unsteady finger on the trigger.

"Is that the best you can do?"  Serena hissed.  Well, two can play at that
game.  Her gun was loaded and ready for destruction.  Sure, it would
have been fun to mess with Ann's neurotransmitters using the Sure Guard.
But a bullet in the guts was much faster and probably more effective.

Darien Chiba was diligently pinching himself.  He had to be dreaming.  This
was not really happening to him.  Rena had decided to be a Happy Farm
candidate at an inopportune time.  

"Shut the hell up unless you want to go first," Ann warned darkly, her
brows furrowed in concentration.

"I don't think so," Serena murmured, stepping in front of Darien.  If 
everything went wrong, the bullet would only go through her.  Hopefully,
Serena thought.

"I thought I'd let you live, bitch."

"You know, Ann, that's getting kind of redundant."

"Rena," Darien whispered urgently, "why are you deliberately provoking her?"

Ann scowled.  Bye-bye, blondie.  She pushed the trigger.  

Bang!

Serena pushed Darien to the side, before rolling on the pavement.  She
propped her gun up, sighting down its barrel.  Serena pulled the
trigger.  She could be just as trigger-happy as the next psychopath. 

Bang!

Ann staggered, blood gushing out from her gut.  Her finger slid onto the
trigger and pulled.  "Die," she screamed. "Die, die, die, die, die..."

Bang!

Serena stared as Ann began to point the gun at Darien.  Crappola, Serena
thought.  What Ann should have done was waste all her bullets trying to
kill her.  When that was done, Serena would merely have zapped Ann with
the Sure Guard.  

"Darien," Serena screamed.

Bang!

The bullet hit Darien's sleeve.  Serena crouched, ready to launch herself
in front of Darien Chiba at a moment's notice.  She was paid to take the
bullet.  She would do her job.

Bang!

A blur of blonde hair raced in front of him.  Darien stared in horror
as Serena went down, a stream of blood spurting out from her chest.

"Juliet's dead, Romeo.  Why don't you stand still and I'll finish you
off, too," Ann demanded.  Then she threw back her head and roared
with shrewish laughter.

Darien Chiba's paralysis ended.  He picked up Serena's gun and coldly
pointed it at Ann Medici.  Ann stared at Darien in panic.  There was
nothing left in him but coldness.  Nothing behind the eyes that she
recognized.  Nothing but dead calm and disgust.

Ann panicked and pulled the trigger.

Bang!

Darien returned fire and shot her in the hand.  The hand that held her gun.
The distinctive shriek of sirens filled the night air.  Ann sat on the
ground trembling, holding her bloody hand.

Darien closed his eyes.  It was over.  He would fill out police reports
later.  All that mattered was the woman lying unconscious on the ground.

"Rena," Darien whispered.  



------------------------------------------


Blood.  So much blood.  There wasn't supposed to be so much blood.  
Darien closed his eyes.  He began to pray for the woman cradled in
his arms.  The blood, colouring his shirt crimson, continued to 
pool on the ground.  Darien sat there unblinking and unfeeling.  The
pain that tore through him was like nothing that he had experienced
before.  This part of him that he never known existed had been gouged
out.  The only thing left was loss.  An empty, gaping hole where life
had once filled him.

The sound of sirens wailed through the cold night air.  Zach and
Malcolm arrived in the police cruiser.  Through the window, Zach 
watched with hooded eyes as the paramedics rushed Serena into the 
ambulance.  He watched as Darien refused to let go of Serena's hand.  
Malcolm shook his head.  There had been too much blood.  Just too much 
goddamn blood.  The laughing blonde that he remembered may never laugh 
again.




Chapter 24


The hospital room was silent.  The halls were silent.  Everything was
so silent.  Like a tomb, Darien thought.  His worried gaze inspected
Serena's ashen face, her closed eyes, and the large bandage wrapped
around her chest underneath her hospital clothing.  Ann had missed
the heart by a fraction of an inch.  But there had been too much blood
loss.  

"Don't you dare leave me!  Rena, don't leave me.  At least, take me with
you darling," Darien pleaded, his large hand encasing both of Serena's
cold hands.

"Rena, if you decide to open those pretty blue eyes of yours, I'll do
anything you ask.  Anything.  I'll...I'll be your goddamn slave if I
have to.  If you smile that unforgettable smile of yours, I'll tell you
where I put your Buick.  If you wake up and kiss me, I'll give you 
paradise.  Rena, honey, if you leave me, I'll...I'll go back to my
debauching ways.  I'll take Marie Holyfield up on her offer.  I'll marry
her...and I'll throw cousin Jed out on the streets.  I'll kick him out
on his sorry ass, I will."

Darien looked down into Serena's pale face.  The doctors had told him that
it was futile to hope.  She was nearing death and there was nothing he
could do to stop it.  In the end, Ann had triumphed.  She had taken the
most precious thing in his life and had destroyed it.  

"God, Rena, what made you do it?!  Huh?  You didn't have to run out in
front of me!  You didn't have to take that goddamned bullet!  You didn't
have to, darling.  You know I'd rather have you live.  You know I'd rather
take my own bullet than to let you take it for me.  Are you happy now?
Leaving me and my black soul here on earth to rot.  Rena, listen to me.
What will I do without you?  Godamnit, what will I do without you?"

Who would destroy his peace of mind?  Who would mess up his entire day?
Who would make him laugh as she did?  Who could ever replace his Rena?
No one.  No one because she was irreplaceable.  Darien Chiba reverently
placed Serena's limp body in the warmth of his arms.  Wake up, he
screamed silently at her.  Wake up!  He hugged her tightly to his own
body, hoping to infuse her cold body with all the warmth he possessed.
His beating heart pressed against her indifferent one.  Rocking 
unconsciously, Darien Chiba cried for the first time in his life.


--------------------------------------------------


A week later, Darien Chiba still stood in silent vigil beside Serena's bed.
She was getting better, the doctors said.  She wasn't going to die right
away; she was going to lay in unconsciousness for the rest of her life.
Pressing her hand against his heart, Darien waited.  She would come back
for him.  She wouldn't leave him like this.  When she woke up, he was
not letting her out of his sight.  He was going to lock the both of them
up in his bedroom.  

"Good night, darling," Darien whispered softly, pressing a kiss to Serena's
forehead.

Darien sat back in his chair and began to sing.  He had long ago decided
that he liked singing Rena to sleep.  Watching his beloved, Darien
began to croon softly.

"Hush, little Rena, don't say a word,
Darien's going to buy you a mocking bird,
and if that mocking bird don't sing,
Darien's going to buy you an engagement ring,
and if that engagement ring don't fit..."

Darien paused, and muttered darkly, "That engagement ring better fit."

Darien glanced down at her.  A flutter of golden lashes stopped his heart.
Serena's parched lips formed a word.  A hiss of sound emitted from her
lips.

"What, darling?  I can't hear you," Darien said softly.  The doctors had
thought him delusional since the day he had announced that Serena was
walking in the halls.  Perhaps he was.  But Darien couldn't shake the 
feeling that his sleeping beauty had finally decided that life was much
better than an eternal slumber.

Serena's brows furrowed in concentration.  Again, she formed the words
with her lips.  Darien chuckled, then he laughed great gusts of laughter.
The loud sounds of his laughter brought a nurse to the door.  At the
questioning look in her eye, Darien smiled.

"Serena thinks that Marie Holyfield has gigantic ear lobes," Darien said.




Chapter 25

A week later

Serena was giggling at the absurd things that Darien spouted.  Darien 
Chiba had dressed up in a blazing pair of purple tights and a large 
hockey jersey.  He had explained that he was dressed up as Romeo, and
she, Serena Tsukino, was his Juliet.  Currently, Darien Chiba was
singing at the top of his lungs.

"I'm a little tea pot,
short and stout,
here is my handle,
here is my spout,
when I get all steamed up,
here me shout,
tip me over and..."

"Pour me out," Serena finished.  Maybe she was becoming as perverted as
he was, but why did that song evoke visions of Darien getting all
steamed up and pouring something out inside of her?

God, he loved to hear her laugh.  Which was why he was here in tights
and acting like an ass.  If only Malcolm can see me now, Darien thought.
Malcolm would probably end up in the hospital, right next door to Rena.

Sobering, Darien strode over to the side of Serena's hospital bed, a
rose held tightly in his hand.  Kneeling uncomfortably, Darien stared up
at her.

Serena's eyes glazed with unshed tears as she accepted the rose Darien
had offered her.  Inside the unfurled rose petals lay a ring.  Gently,
Serena took the ring out of the rose.

"Marry me, Serena Tsukino," Darien whispered.  His deft fingers already
placing the golden ring on her finger.

Serena closed her eyes.  The simple gold band meant more to her than 
anything she had ever received.  Gazing into the deep, dark depths of his
eyes, Serena noticed something that she had never noticed before.  Love
shone in Darien Chiba's eyes.  A tear escaped and made its way sluggishly
down her cheek.

"Why?" 

Darien sighed.  Why did he want to marry her?  Because he wanted to spend
the rest of his life with her.  Because he couldn't bear to be away from
her.  Because he wanted to have children with her pretty eyes and golden
hair.  Only one answer seemed acceptable to him.  He hoped that it would
be enough.

"Because I love you," Darien whispered hoarsely.

"Oh god, Chiba.  Say it again," Serena said, tears colliding in their
journey down her cheek.

Darien leaned closer and kissed a tear creeping on the edge of her jaw.
"I love you, I love you, I love you...."  

"I love you, too," Serena murmured.  Groaning, Darien captured his
fiancée's lips in a fierce kiss.  





Epilogue

6 months later


Darien Chiba waited patiently for the bridesmaids to file out.  Then
the organs swelled to a rising crescendo.  People turned to the rear
of the church expectantly.  Darien's eyes strayed to the back of the
church.  What he saw made his heart stop.

Her golden mane fell in luxurious curls.  The wedding gown, with its
sheer whiteness, was composed of a square cut bodice and a flowing train
encrusted in diamonds and pearls.  

Oh my god, Rena.  Oh my god.  His heart swelled with uncontrollable pride.
His bride was without a doubt the most beautiful bride in the world.  And
she was coming towards him, her liquid blue eyes gazing into his, her head
raised proudly.  Serena Tsukino Chiba.  He liked the sound of that very,
very much.


-------------------------------------


"You will be nice to her.  Right, Malcolm?"  Darien was looking at his 
normally professional manager shudder uncontrollably.

Malcolm eyed Grandma Tsukino with an air of absolute dread.  Please, don't
let her see me, he prayed.  For the reception, Grandma Tsukino was decked 
out in a slinky gown.  The revealing gown revealed too much of her wrinkled
body for anyone's comfort.

Grandma Tsukino turned her head, her eyes lighting up excitedly as she
spotted that nice man she had met a few months ago.  Well, Fate had 
decided to give her another chance to snag the handsome gentleman.  
Grandma Tsukino smiled, deciding to give it the old college try, although
it had been at least six decades since she'd been in college.  Would 
Malcolm mind if she cleaned her dentures while she talked to him?  She
had brought her denture cleaning cup just for that occasion.   

"Darien, where did Serena say she put the Sure Guard?"  Malcolm was looking
around for Serena's bodyguard kit.  Mace would be a good alternative if
he couldn't find the Sure Guard.  He was not going to spend any more 
quality time with Grandma Tsukino.  He did not need to hear any more of
her adventures at Gothby's Funeral Homes.  The last one had left him
speechless.  Malcolm still had difficulty believing that Grandma Tsukino
could tell if the crotches of male corpses were enhanced with cotton 
stuffing.

"Well, Mr. Malcolm.  Fancy meeting you here," Grandma Tsukino said, 
winking at Darien.  Slipping her bony arm through Malcolm's, she dragged
him off.  

Darien shook his head.  He thought he had just heard Malcolm praying.
Darien was feeling happier than he had ever felt in his entire life.  He
had felt generous enough to forget the $6000 that cousin Jed still owed
him for damaging his rug, his plate, and his turkey.  He had even felt
generous enough to refrain from calling him 'Pencil Dick.'  Darien's
perpetual grin broadened as he caught sight of his wife.  His wife.
Darien's grin widened.

"Will you look at that?  If Darien smiles any more his face will crack.
What happened to that moody poet of a rock star?  What happened to that
romantic cult image we were selling?"  The record company president
was unpleasantly baffled.

"She happened," Zach replied, watching Darien unceremoniously pull his
laughing bride from her group of friends.  He watched Darien
pick Serena up in his arms, and saunter up the stairs.   


She 
May be the face I can't forget 
A trace of pleasure or regret 
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay 
She may be the song that summer sings 
May be the chill that autumn brings 
May be a hundred different things 
Within the measure of a day. 
She 
May be the beauty or the beast 
May be the famine or the feast 
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell 
She may be the mirror of my dreams 
A smile reflected in a stream 
She may not be what she may seem 
Inside her shell 
She who always seems so happy in a crowd 
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud 
No one's allowed to see them when they cry 
She may be the love that cannot hope to last 
May come to me from shadows of the past 
That I'll remember till the day I die 
She 
May be the reason I survive 
The why and wherefore I'm alive 
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years 
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears 
And make them all my souvenirs 
For where she goes I've got to be 
The meaning of my life is 
She, she, she 



-------------------------

FLY
Preview

-------------------------


"Must keep running.  Must not let them catch me," a small voice rasped,
deep breathing preventing her from saying more. 

Long blonde pigtails twisted and swerved in the wind.  Blue eyes, large
with fright, glittered with determination.  She was going to be free.
Only a matter of minutes.  

"Can't let Uncle Tomoe find me.  Can't let Uncle Tomoe see me," she
whispered to the night air.  Overhead, a large eagle circled in the
dark sky, bearing down on its prey.

The trees thinned into a clearing.  The fence was just ahead.  The fence
was easily fifteen feet high and wired from bottom to top.  Trespassers 
were electrocuted.  The Institution had no intention of becoming discovered
by over-curious hunters.

The wisp of a girl stumbled on a tree branch, her uniform ripping in the
fall.  Her uniform was a billowing mass of white, open at the back.  The
girl continued running, listening intently for her pursuers.  Uncle Tomoe
would send out the dogs and her other uncles.  Her mean uncles.  The
uncles that leered at her and taunted her at the Institution.

Resolutely, she spread her wings.


----------------------------------

"Angel," Uncle Harvey Tomoe yelled.  "Angel, come here.  Come to your 
uncle.  Angel!"

Uncle Tomoe's eyes gleamed with anger.  How could those insipid guards let
Angel escape?!  Granted, Angel was extraordinary.  She could grasp concepts
that the others could not.  The others.  There were failures and there
were successes.  Angel was one of the successes, and perhaps, 
the Institution's greatest success.

Uncle Tomoe frowned.  Angel was in good shape for someone who had not
seen the sky in six months.  She had been locked in her cell as a punishment
for the last time she had tried to escape.  

The snarling pack of dogs had been let loose.  The hunters were in place.  
Angel had to be found before the night was through.  Spotting a blur
of white and gold, Uncle Tomoe fired his rifle.

Angel was headed towards the fence, the moon illuminating the impressive
span of her wings.  Signalling the other men, Uncle Tomoe turned to 
watch with a mixture of awe and dread as Angel began flapping her wings.

"Damn," Uncle Tomoe swore.  Angel had always defied orders and pushed the 
limits.  She was going to fly over the fence.  

"Shoot her down," Uncle Tomoe ordered, his rifle propped on his shoulder 
for furthur leverage.

"But Harvey, she's just a girl," one of the men protested.

"I said, shoot her down."


------------------------------------------

Feeling the whoosh of the wind caress her face, the girl tilted her face
towards the moon.  She loved to fly.  She had secretly practised flying
in the woods before.  Her silver wings gleamed in the moonlight as they 
flapped, the air ruffling her feathers.  Home.  She was going home.

Closing her eyes, she shot into the sky.  She flew high and above the
fence.  She was free.  She was finally free.