A fan fic by Caleyndar.
Rating: PG.

Notes: I don't know what to say. I can only stand in front
of Heaven's Door and stare. Part Six: Knocking on Heaven's 
Door to follow. 

Email: caleyndar@tac.com.au
URL: http://members.xoom.com/portalsms/

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me; only the
few I make up. The story, however, is mine.


The Name Endymion...

Part Five: The War of Peace...

Chapter Seven...

	Darkness. Fear. Anger. My eyes narrowed, fists 
clenched, body ready to defend or attack. Red rage burned 
in my veins. They had her. Her! My Serenity in their hands. 
Tears stung my eyes. Too much emotion had torn through my 
being in the last few moments. No, the last few years! 
	My mind was too clouded with hate to think 
logically. The Sun Kingdom. Why did they take Serenity? 
Why even take me! It was Sailor Saturn they were after! 
Shouldnt they be attacking the Space Divider Field? This 
was insanity!
	Black became red. A realm of a scared place, one 
for sacrifice. Pillars everywhere, circling me, torch light 
the only dim brightness in this world. Strung up in the 
form of a cross, her head hanging, golden streamers a veil 
over her sweet face. 
	A gasp escaped my lips, forced from them in horror 
to see her in such a state. My eyes were wide, staring, the 
pupils small, unbelieving, denying. Blindly I shook my head 
from side to side, my limbs uncontrollable, my mouth a 
twisted circle as a silent scream of no erupted from it. 
	In a place unseen to me, a mocking disappointed 
sigh sounded. "This is the great Prince Endymion, holder of 
the Golden Crystal?" Same voice as before. The one who had 
spoken to me, welcomed me to my doom. "I excepted someone 
with a back bone at least," the voice continued, commenting 
about the position I was in; a heap on the cold dark floor. 
	I could only stare at the figure of Serenity. I 
felt as hopeless as I did when the Weapons had us in their 
power. Only this time my emotions, my very heart, felt as 
if they would explode. So close to the point of breaking 
down was I. I think I wanted to lay down and cry.
	"I wonder. Have you not pieced together the puzzle 
yet? All the shards of the mirror are there. And they 
reflect your image. And hers. Or are you just afraid?" The 
woman stepped from the darkness and into the circle of 
pillars where I lay convulsing. Her voice had lost the 
cruel edge, and something not unlike sympathy remained. 
	"I think. I think I am. I think I am like a child 
in the dark. Praying for the light. But. But the light wont 
shine for me. The light died. It died. It, it was smothered. 
Smothered. By me." Halting, broken thoughts, forced from my 
mind through my dry throat. My eyes, as my cheek was pressed 
against the floor, still stared at Serenity. Movement had 
ceased in my body. I had stopped struggling. I lay there, 
on the could ground, still, only my lips moving as I spoke. 
I never blinked. Less I closed my eyes for an instant, and 
the light of Serenity would die.
	"It must be done. This is the way things are 
meant to be," the disembodied voice of the women said, a 
ghost of a voice floating on the void. "Spring, Summer, 
Autumn, Winter. All things that are born must and will 
come to an end."
	I laughed softly. "I think I understand now. What 
you represent, what you try to symbolise. Do you attempt 
to give yourself a purpose by doing this? Its rather 
pathetic," I whispered, still unmoving, still staring at 
her. "Who gave you the right to decide for all? Who set 
you the task?" 
	"Gods Will." Such simple words. And so few.
	My eyes closed. And I heaved myself up from the 
floor, somehow managing to manoeuvre my legs under my 
unwilling body. "What of Gods Gift then? Free Will? Have 
we not the right to decide for ourselves? Or is that a lie 
too? Like the rest of my life?" 
	"He questions." Another voice.
	"Like it has been written." A third voice.
	"He is the one." Fourth voice.
	I opened my eyes to see the four Seasons standing 
around me, between the pillars. Their cold eyes were 
watching me, as I stood there, taking in my surrounding. 
But most of all, staring at her. 
	"What do you want of me?" My voice was quiet. 
Almost calm. I was taking in every detail that defined her, 
my Serenity. The gentle curve of her cheeks I had kissed 
too little and too late. Her strands of golden hair, 
shinning like the sun, here, even in this shadow of death. 
I looked upon her. As if it was the last time. The last 
time I would be able to see her. No matter her tortured 
state. The last time. Now, closed the lid to the white and 
silver coffin, and lower it into the welcoming earth.
	How could you leave me! How. How could you let me 
stand alone here? You were my guiding light, my pillar of 
strength, the sun I orbited around. You were the soul 
reason I existed! How could you abandon me, Serenity!
	Tears. They were dripping from my face, splattering 
on the floor. Fists. My hands were clutched tight in anger, 
frustration. My jaw was set, my teeth biting on each other. 
	"What do you want of me!" I yelled, a raw scream 
from my soul.  
	"This was not how the universe was meant to be."
	"We could not exist in peace."
	"All living things felt fear, pain. What they 
hated the most."
	"This was no Utopia."
	Four voices. They followed one another, over 
lapping, like serene waves on a dream scape beach. They 
touched me softly, almost fearful of breaking me. Entering 
my ears ever so gently. Their voices. Almost. Almost like 
others I had known in the past. Hers. And hers. They 
believed what they said. They believed it to be the truth. 
And they were to accomplish their goal no matter the cost. 
	Serene. Pure. They were almost like angels. Forget 
the past, where they murdered Diamond, where they hurt 
Serenity. The Seasons. What they did. They believed was 
the correct course of action. So why should they die? Why 
should I yell and scream at them. 
	One reason. Her. 
	Another reason. Fear.
	And another. Pride?
	How was it possible for my perception of others to 
change so much in such a short period of time? Second ago, 
I hated them, wanted to kill them. Now? Now I hesitated. 
Perhaps they were right? Perhaps this existence was wrong. 
Mutated from what was meant to be perfect into this world 
where lies and hate and fear and darkness and insanity and 
loneliness and sadness and, and, and Everything existed! 
Why couldnt life be perfect? Why couldnt the world be 
perfect? Why couldnt, why couldnt! Why couldnt you
just love me! 
	"Tears."
	"We can feel you pain, Endymion." 
	"We come to end this." 
	"We come to end everything."
	"So we can begin again."
	"To form the perfect world."
	"Where no pain exists."
	"Only eternal love and peace."
	"Is this what I want?" I asked softly. I was 
looking at her again. Please, Serenity. Help me. Serenity. 
Help me. Serenity. Help me. Help me, please. I dont know 
anymore. I dont know what to do. Please, Serenity. Tell 
me. Tell me what I should do. Please, please. Serenity. I 
cant do this alone. I just dont know anymore. I never 
knew. This. This was insanity!
	"Youve always wanted to be loved."
 	"Youve always wanted peace." 
	"Youve always wanted to have a normal life."
	"Youve always wanted to be good."
	"And I can have all this in your world reborn?" 
This voice. It came from my mouth. But was it mine? It was 
almost as if I wanted this. Was this the truth? Serenity, 
why wont you answer? Why am I alone? Did everyone else 
abandon me? Where were Serenitys Soldiers? My generals? 
Nick? Dawn? Mother? Cant someone help me? Please?
	My hands were leaving my side. My eyes were looking 
down at them. My palms were open, facing the Heavens. Open, 
waiting to receive. 
	"There are always two; a hope and a dream. One of 
Silver, one of Gold. One without the other brings eternal 
peace. One shattered will spiral into Darkness. Together 
they hold both Light and Dark, together they both hold Good 
and Evil," the Seasons chanted, four voices becoming one. 
	A dagger materialised above my open hands, waiting, 
longing for me to grasp it, to plunge it into soft living 
flesh, to make it motionless, dead. 
	Again and again they chanted. That phrase! What? 
What! I did not understand! Did they want me to kill myself? 
Because I was the darkness, because I hindered eternal 
peace? This made no sense! What was the meaning of this? 
How did Saturn tie into this? How did Serenity tie into 
this! Why bring her if they want me dead? I did not 
understand!
	My heart stopped.
	I understood.
	"I understand now." My hands took hold on the 
dagger, lovingly, as if I meant to caress the cheek of my 
lover. A small sad smile stole over my agonised face. "I 
did not before, but I understand now. I did not understand 
before, but now I do."
	Pluto. You knew. Of course you couldnt tell me. 
Who wanted to tell another they would kill the one they 
loved? Who wanted to be the barer of death, of such dread 
and darkness? But thankyou. You let me know. I ran away 
from the truth. Of course. Im a coward, not worthy of her 
nor her love. 
	With one hand, I held the dagger. The other, whose 
fore finger I ran along the blade, sliced open the skin, 
letting the blood flow. This finger, baring the wound, I 
lifted to my cheek, where Diamond had slashed me before. It 
had stopped bleeding. But I had never bothered to heal it. 
	"This is pain," I whispered. "But it is shallow 
pain, not worthy of being noticed. The pain in my heart 
hurts more. Why must I increase it? Because the ends 
justify the means? It is unfair, dont you think? But then, 
life is unfair, isnt it? So I must kill her? I wonder." 
My thoughts, or my words? 
	"You can stop fighting now, if you want."
	"You can run away now, if you want."
	"You can cry now, if you want."
	"You can be free now, if you want."
	"I know." These were the only two words that left 
my mouth as my eyes glazed over, irises becoming black 
spheres, reflecting the darkness that would soon commence.
	Standing upon a bleak sea shore. Waves crashing 
violently. Endless waters stretching towards the horizon. 
Sky overcast, winds tearing like skeletal fingers scratching 
at my face and pulling at my hair. The sea. The ocean. One 
and the same, yet not the same. I come to you now, for the 
birth of a new world. You, from which all life on Earth came. 
Take me back into yourself. And then spit me out again.
	"I will not kill her!"
	"I can not kill her!"
	"I can not live without her!"
	"I can not live without the trust of those I love!"
	Whos there? Voices on the wind. Whos voices?
	"You do not have to live without her."
	"You will have her for eternity now."
	"All you have to do is kill her."
	"And so the new and perfect world can commence."
	I spun round and round, arms flying free. Until I 
fell, dizzy, face eating the course dark sand. Hands formed 
as claws. They dug into the black sand. They had life of 
their own, and one still clutched the dagger. Shatter the 
Silver Crystal. And thus release Sailor Saturn! She will 
end your horrid existence!
	"Sailor Pluto. Why did you set this in motion? You 
knew what was to happen, what will happen. Why do you help 
this destiny along its course? Do you not think it is wrong?" 
My voice! It was my voice that spoke these words! Yet they 
did not come from my mouth! 
	I struggled to twist my body around, sluggishly 
wiping the sand away from my mouth and straining to see the 
scene before me. There, a little distance down the black 
beach, was the image of me, facing that of Sailor Pluto. 
And who else should be there? Elios, standing off to the 
side, watching the exchange with passive amber eyes, his 
silver hair flying wildly on the ocean winds.
	:Because it is my purpose for living. It is my 
destiny," the Solider of Time and Space answered, her voice 
carried on the wind to my ears. "I have told you before, 
Prince Endymion. I do not wish to tamper with what is meant 
to be, for I fear the consequences my powers could bring 
into living. Thus I do what I must to keep things as they 
are. I follow what is meant to be."
	"Yet by doing so, you are changing the future that 
may have been had you not interfered. Why do you follow 
what is meant to be? Does it all lead to an existence like 
Utopia? But you do not know. You can not see past this 
point. Once the Silver Crystal is shattered. So why do you 
follow the future you see in your Time Stream? Why do you 
just follow it all, and never question it?" Endymion asked, 
voice eternally calm.
	The Soldier of Pluto took a step back, and bit her 
lip. Her hands were tightly clutching her Time Staff. And 
then, a single tear fell from her eyes. Before it even hit 
the dark sand, her image vanished.
	"And so this world is imperfect. Every living thing 
eternally searches for their true purpose. In finding none, 
they create their own. And this should not be so. Humans 
can not exist without knowing they have a purpose," Elios 
said softly, eyes watching the grey horizon.
	"Yes. A purpose brings contentment. One must be 
content to be happy. And one must be loved to be happy, 
filled with joy," the image of me answered softly. "And so 
I do not wish to kill her. I do not wish to erase my 
purpose in life.
	"I said I would fight. I said I would not cry. I 
said I would not run away. In saying these things, I was 
strong for her. I appeared to be protecting her. I said 
these things not because I believed them, but because I 
loved her. Thus I was selfish. Thus I question whether the 
love I feel for her is pure. Or just something born from 
desperation and need," Endymion concluded quietly.
	"Created by Him, at the instant when your soul bond 
with Serenity was formed, I am Elios, Angel and Human as 
one. Created of your love and for your love, I am meant to 
be what brings eternal peace. But I now know, this can not 
be," Elios whispered softly under his breath, closing his 
eyes. "Neither you nor I have learnt our final lessons. Let 
the universe come to an end." Like Pluto before him, Elios 
vanished. This time, not even a fallen tear marked his 
place upon the black beach.
	As if he had never heard Elioss words nor saw him 
leave, the image of  Endymion continued his speech. "Perhaps 
the Seasons are right. This world is tainted. Filled with 
pain, confusion, unhappiness. And it only seems to grow. It 
does not matter than peace exists between the Kingdoms. No 
one is truly happy nor content. Humans are too filled with 
the dark emotions to love with purity. So they can never be 
happy. If this is so, then let the universe come to an end." 
	Alone again on the shore of death. I let my body 
collapse back down on the beach, my eyes shut tightly. A 
play. Set for me. Could I even trust it? Was it my tormented 
mind playing tricks upon me? Or was this the work of Pluto 
and Elios? I knew, however, the Seasons did not set it up. 
But I wish it had been they. For then I could disregard it. 
Dismiss it. And just kill them. Even though they were not 
evil. Even though they believed what they did was right. 
	Fool. You could never kill them. Because what they 
offer is what you truly want. 
	A warmth touching my cheek. Her warmth.
	My eyes snapped open, and a smile burst into 
life upon my face. Her eyes looked back into my, filled 
with beauty, life, comfort. She smiled down upon me, my 
angel, my love. 
	"Dont you know yet?" Serenity asked, her radiant 
form glowing. Her white gown and fair skin gave light to 
my bleak world. "What you truly want?"
	"Serenity!" I reached up and embraced her, locking 
her in my arms so she may never leave me again. "Please, 
please, Serenity, my guardian angel. Tell me what I must 
do. I dont know what I should do. I want so much what the 
Seasons offer. But its selfish. Tell me its right. Tell 
me youll forgive me. Tell me youll be with me forever, 
and I will do it!"
	She smiled again. "Yes. It is for the best. 
Everyone will thank you for it. Everyone will be happy 
in the new world. And yes, I will forgive you. And yes, 
I will be with you forever." She bent down and pressed
her lips to mine. "Now pierce my heart, and shatter the 
Silver Crystal."
	I smiled sadly up at her and lifted the dagger. 
"I love you, Serenity. Always."
	Like glass, the world shattered, the shards of 
crashing waves, black sand, grey dismal sky flew away from 
me violently. Fire dancing, throwing its light here, there. 
The Seasons surrounding me, smiling, filled with joy. And 
Serenity, before me. 
	Her eyes were wide, filled with pain. Tears welled, 
but never fell. Her face. Filled with sadness. Sorrow. 
Emotions she should never know. Her smile. Regret. Her 
lips formed one word. 
	"No."
	My eyes widened, staring at her. I looked down at 
my hands. Together, they clutched the dagger. The dagger, 
that was stabbed into her flesh. Her blood soaked her torn 
white gown. Her blood stained my hands. Her single word 
echoed in my mind.
	"No."
	The Silver Crystal suddenly burned in my mind. 
Bright, endlessly bright. As if it contained all the light 
in the universe. It hurt to look upon it, yet I could not 
look away. It was in my mind! So perfect, so beautiful. 
Bright. White. Light. 
	A crack. A chip. Spider webs formed over its once 
flawless surface. I felt as if my heart was breaking. 
Perhaps it was. More and more dense the cracks appeared, 
until the crystal seemed nothing more than a mass off 
lines and chips. 
	Suddenly, the intensity of the light grew. I could 
stand it no more! Reality took over. My eyes were blinded, 
but not enough to be unable to see the heart of Serenity 
shinning like a super nova, and then expand, this light, 
with ever increasing velocity. 
	This light, the light of the Silver Crystal, 
whipped around me and embraced the Seasons who opened their 
arms to welcome their new world. The light enveloped 
everything, devoured all. It was like a signal sent out 
for all to see before it consumed everything. 
	More cracks.
	Sound of glass breaking.
	The Silver Crystal shatter.
	All was white light.
	"No."

End of Part Five, Chapter Seven.

End of Part Five, period.

