A fan fic by Caleyndar.
Rating: PG.

Notes: This chapter explains many things, but there is 
little action. By the of this, most of the question are
answered, but for various reasons, questions still exist.
The character of Elios has been changed to fit the story.
	Any questions or comments, please send them to:
caleyndar@tac.com.au
	To visit my web site, which as been moved, go to:
http://members.xoom.com/portalsms/

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me; only the
few I make up. The story, however, is mine.


The Name Endymion...

Part Four: Angel of Tears...

Chapter Five...

	Home. The place we call in which we live, where we 
dwell, where we feel safe. Where one feels as if he belongs, 
where all seems right, that nothing could go wrong. Where 
love was the emotion more powerful than all else, where 
family lived, and played, and talked.
	Home. The place which I have never had. That I have 
longed for, wished for, had in imitation, but not in reality. 
For I defined home as where ones real parents lived, where 
one would always feel a togetherness. And even though the 
place on Earth I had so believe was home, I had never 
belonged. Those fifteen years I had spent on Earth, with the 
beloved family that had adopted me, came with the sense that 
I was different. My physical appearance added to that. My 
cursed symbol, my jet black hair, my deep blue eyes at which 
all stared. My family on Earth looked nothing like me. Their 
relatives, when they had visited, always paid more attention 
to me. Because I was different.
	Another basic human need? To feel as if he belonged? 
	Yes or no? 
	Yes. Because we could not stand to be alone. We 
wanted others to love us, to want us, to need us. We wanted 
to belong to something so that we could stand and be strong.
	And thus, we wanted a home.
	My spiritual eyes opened. Not my physical eyes of 
flesh and blood. That was else where. On Earth still, 
perhaps, in the arms of my generals. I did not know. I do 
not think I cared. What mattered now was what these eyes saw 
as they opened, and the feeling that rushed into my being 
that accompanied the sight that greeted me. 
	It was like being born again. A whole new world 
unfolded before me, a flower blooming, revealing its true 
colour to the eyes that sought it. A world in which I was 
loved, in which I belonged. I was home. For the first time 
since I was born. 
	A babys room. Painted in pastel colours, with the 
Heavens swept with clouds and angels the ceiling, and meadows 
alive with grass and wildlife the walls. Sunlight streamed 
in from the arched windows, lighting up patches on the soft 
carpet littered with stuffed toys. Horses, lions, dogs. A 
childs dream land. And a cot was in the back of the large 
room, fit for a prince.
	My eyes roamed the room, sweeping the fine details, 
the play of light. And finally, the figure that looked down 
at the empty cot covered with dust. The whole room was 
covered with dust: the sign of neglect or abandonment. 
	Another figure stood beside the first. This one 
smaller, younger, too much like a child. Too much like, 
like myself, when I was an innocent child playing with my 
friends.
	An outline of my body formed around me. It became 
more solid, and I could see my hands. Clenching them into a 
fist, I felt the warmth of my own body against my skin. My 
arm no longer ached; even the torn cloth no longer marked 
the wound. It was as if it had never been, Sabre and his 
poisoned dagger. But my mind was clouded. I could not really 
remember what had happened. Who was this Sabre? I think I 
shook my head, but that only sent me reeling. 
	The world tipped, as if someone had grabbed the orb 
of the planet apon which my soul stood and moved it with a 
sudden motion, upsetting the downward acceleration of 
gravity. My head felt wrong, too light, without substance. 
The soft dusty carpet came up to meet me, and my body landed
with a wet sound. Wet? I could hear the blood within this 
body, the way it sloshed as I fell heavily. 
	The two human like forms turned towards me, the 
taller one suddenly, almost in shock, grasping with both 
hands the side of the cot. The other slowly, as if it had 
always known I was there, and merely waited me to announce 
my presence to the other. 
	"All is as you wished, my lady," the smaller figure 
side softly. 
	The voice. Something about the voice. Had I heard it 
before? Recently? The image of a white pegasus flashed like 
a blinding light in my minds eye. What was this? What was 
wrong, that caused me be faulted so? Why could I not think 
clearly, nor remember all that I knew to be archived in my 
mind?
	"He can not remember what causes him so much pain. 
However, this gift will be removed when he reunites with his 
mortal flesh and blood," the voice continued. It was kind, 
yet there was no emotion. So monotone. So without passion. 
Was this figure human?
	Causes me pain? What? What caused me pain? What 
could I not remember? 
	My wide staring eyes watched the two of them. As 
the taller female figure approached me. She knelt by my head. 
Everything about her suggested she was one of great power, 
one who was respected by all. Her large brown eyes radiated 
kindness, compassion, love. A slender and soft skinned hand
reached out and brushed stray strands of jet black hair away 
from my dark blue eyes. 
	"Child, do not try to create a living body filled 
with organs. Your physical form lies safe on Earth. An 
outline, a shell, is enough. You only have to listen and 
comprehend, nothing more," the women said softly, kindly, 
like a mother would to a son. 
	"Mother," my voice whispered. Mother? Why did I say 
that! Was it the truth? 
	"Do not doubt yourself, Prince Endymion," the voice 
said. An image of large white wings, a golden horn. "What 
you say is true. Your heart knows, though your mind doubts."
	Light caught a tear, and it sparkled, fallen from 
the kind brown eyes. 
	"You are my Mother?" I wondered, voice filled with 
disbelief. My hand came up and grasped hers, feeling her 
warmth against my ghostly body. "I am so sorry. I killed my 
Father. I severed his head from his body and watched it roll 
across the stone cold floor. Those blue eyes like mine still 
stare at me. But my hair. It is like yours. Black as the 
velvet night sky."
	"Be silent, my son. Do not speak such wicked words. 
Come. Stand now, and let us depart for a room more kind than 
this. For this was your room, as a baby. Before fate dealt 
its first blow," the Queen said softly, and stood, gently 
pulling my shell of a body to its feet.
	I looked down at her when I stood firmly apon the 
floor. Tears still welled in her pretty brown eyes, and it 
saddened me somewhat. It reminded me of something. That 
perhaps I should be crying too, but I could not. The Angel 
of Tears had left me for now.
	This was my Mother? This women with the face of a 
girl, framed by nighted hair, gifted with such pale skin? So 
fragile was she! How could one like her be a Queen, and a 
suffering Queen at that? How could one so slight in frame 
stand up to such pain? 
	With such thoughts whirling through my blasted mind, 
I was lead by my hand through places unnoticed. Grand old 
hallways of a royal mansion, somewhat like castles of the 
Old World of Earth. The boy tracked us, trailing behind 
silently, but his presence was always too prominent to 
disregard. That boy, who looked so innocent, whose voice was 
too familiar it gave me the most unpleasant sensation when 
set loose from his throat. I wanted to know, yet I did not. 
Who knew what nightmares lied behind such hidden memories. 
I did not want anything that caused me pain.
	A grand sitting room was our destination. Like 
something out of the olden days, with fragrant red wood 
tables highly polished, huge vases of flowers sprinkling 
colourful petals in the center. They were low to the ground; 
just the right height for when one sat down on the 
comfortable white leather sofas. This was indeed home. I 
think I smiled through my haze.
	My body felt stronger now, just still not human, not 
fully physical. I no longer fought against it, and my head 
no longer felt light nor my mind dizzy. This was not my real 
body, just what my mind believed my real body should be. For 
do we not, all humans, all creatures, have an image in our 
minds of what we are, and how we look? 
	I was staring blindly again, at the crystal glass 
sitting peacefully on the wooden table, holding dying 
flowers in icy water. This was Death. Why, as humans, did we 
sever these flowers, these beautiful creations of nature, 
from their bodies to display? Does it only matter that we 
are pleased, that we are happy? That we can stare mindlessly 
at this arrangement of colour and be filled with pleasure?
	"Endymion," a voice far away said softly. "Prince 
Endymion."
	I started, looking up towards the voice and focusing 
my dark eyes. The boy was standing off to the side, holding 
a delicate china cup filled with some streaming liquid. I 
shook my head a little to clear my thoughts, and from my 
seated position, took the cup from him, whispering a word 
of thanks. I dared not drink it though. I did not trust this 
body. I only held it cupped within my hands and felt its 
warmth.
	My eyes travelled up to meet my Mothers sitting 
across from me, her long gown smooth and pooling at her feet. 
She was smiling softly at me, something that made her look 
all the more breakable.
	"Tell me, Mother. The truth to all of this," I said 
softly. My voice seemed not to belong to me.
	She sighed. I could not blame her. "I suppose it 
began when you were born, though in no way am I saying this 
is you fault. You, perhaps are the last one any of us can 
blame." She paused and lifted the cup to her lips, deep in 
thought. "The kingdoms were not peaceful then. All were in a 
truce, but it was an uneasy one. The Crystal Star was cut 
off from us, and the Shadow had not yet been formed yet. And 
the Light Kingdom had no quarrels with anyone else. 
	"And then new blood joined this universe. Yours and 
another. You were named Endymion, and the other, Serenity. 
The Prince of the Earth Kingdom, and the Princess of the 
Moon Kingdom." Never looking at me, she smiled, remembering 
something filled with joy. "Oh, you were beautiful children, 
and Selenity and I were good friends then. She came to visit 
me, bringing her child.
	"It was a mistake. If only, well, nothing now. What 
has been done is done." She looked me in the eye, as if 
telling me this would hurt me more rather than her. "I can 
not explain it. And those who can will not. But I shall try, 
for you have the right to know.
	"When Selenity came with her child, Serenity, and 
the two of you met and touched, something happened. A 
reaction took place which shocked Selenity and myself, and 
more so, millions of others. A soul bond was formed between 
the two of you. But it was so strong, so bright, and once 
passing a radius of a few hundred metres, it became a blast 
of pure energy, and destroyed everything for millions of 
kilometres around." My Mother fell silent. 
	I could only stare at her, eyes unblinking. 
	She continued before I could comment, before I could 
leap to my feet in disbelief and rave like a lunatic or a 
madman. For that was exactly what I felt like doing. 
	"Selenitys husband, who had remained on their ship 
in orbit around the capital of our kingdom, was killed, as 
were millions of souls. Your Father was elsewhere, in 
another sector of the galaxy. He never even felt the pulse 
of energy pass though the universe." Perhaps a tear slipped 
though her guard: she did not want me to see. But it was 
gone before it ever formed and slid down her smooth cheek. 
It seemed worn that way. How much had she cried?
	"Millions and millions died. Only Selenity and 
myself knew the real truth of it. All my people who survived 
thought, believed, it was the Moon Kingdoms doing, for they 
had an entire fleet of war ships escorting the Queen and 
Princess. The immediately jumped to the conclusion that the 
Moon Kingdom had used some magical weapon to destroy the 
Earth Kingdom, for it was widely known that the Silver 
Crystal could be used as a weapon of destruction. 
	"From there, a war broke out with your Fathers 
return. He was enraged, listening to no explanation. You may 
not know it, but he was very protective of you, proud of the 
power in your tiny body." The Queen of the Earth Kingdom 
smiled, looking at me tenderly. 
	"The rest you know, in part. I sent you to Earth, 
for I knew what your Father was like at heart. He was like 
many kings. Always wanting power. Or should I saw, like many 
humans? From there, you know what happened to yourself. 
Selenity and I have not spoken since. She was devastated by 
the death of her husband, and could blame it on no one. Only 
destiny, fate. She took Serenity away, even though she and I 
both knew that you and she were meant to be together." My 
Mother looked away, sad.
	"She fears me. Just as Serenity does. That is why 
the Queen wants Serenity to be with Diamond," I mused, 
frowning. "Yet, yet she sent Serenity to look for me. So 
that she could talk to me. Why is that? Is it so she would 
not have to lived her life filled with guilt that she broke 
what was meant to be?" I looked up at my Mother, eyes 
thoughtful and dark. "And you say you can not explain why we
are soul bonded, why our symbols apon our foreheads are 
identical and interlocked?"
	"I can not explain, but there are those who knows in 
part why." She looked up at the boy standing quietly by the 
table, staring into the distance, seeing nothing. "This is 
Elios. He was the one who took you to Earth. He appeared 
moments after the explosion of light created by the joining 
of yours and Serenitys soul."
	I followed her gaze to the boy with the snow white 
hair and amber eyes. His attire reminded me somehow of a 
priest. Perhaps it was the white robe, studded with five 
jewels across the chest, tied with an emerald green sash 
around his waist, or the red jewel embedded into his 
forehead which stared at us like a blinking third eye as 
light touched it. 
	"But he is nothing but a child. He looks no older 
than thirteen or fourteen," I said softly, still looking at 
the boy. Something sparkled above his forehead. Something 
visible yet hidden. Golden, like a horn perhaps? But it was 
ghostly. I could not really see it. So was it there?
	"He has always been like that. Even seventeen years 
ago," my Mother answered.
	"Eternally youthful," I whispered. "Is that a curse 
or a gift, Elios?"
	The boy looked at me, turning towards me in such a 
way to make me think that a pair of white feathered wings 
were folded behind his back. He soft and gentle lips curved 
up in a simple smile, but to say there was true happiness 
behind it would be a lie. "I never asked to be like this, no. 
But I can not say it is a curse to have a body free of 
diseases and faults."
	"Is what my Mother say true? That you took me to 
Earth, that you were the one who left me the box with its 
contents?" I materialised the crystal sabre to show him what 
I was referring to.
	"Yes, that is true," Elios said, glancing down at 
the jewel studded handle of the deadly energy weapon. "And 
I am sorry I did not return for you, but I did not think it 
was safe to do so. And I did not realise that your life 
would be placed in more danger if I did not come for you."
	"That doesnt matter anymore," I said, dismissing 
the past with a careless gesture of my hand. "What I want 
and need to know is why did you appear when you did? For 
surely you play a part in this whole scenario just as I do. 
What do you know of this?"
	"I know much. But its not for me to tell. I can and 
will tell you this. I am part of your destiny. And I was the 
one who killed your Father when you would not life a finger 
to do so." His eyes hardened just a fraction, ready to 
receive my outburst.
	It never came. Not at first. I only said softly, and 
with a finality, "Thankyou. But you had no right, even if I 
matter that much to you or anyone else in this Universe." I 
stood up and activated my sabre, pointing it at his throat 
with a smile. "Now, tell me, why you are so desperately 
trying to hide your little wings and horn from me, before I 
return your favour and sever your head from your body."
	"Endymion!" my Mother said.
	"Dont Endymion! me, Mother!" I said. "Im sick 
and tired of people lying to me! Everyone Ive ever held 
dear to my heart has lied to me at some point, and I am 
bloody sick of it! And you! I heard what you said before, of 
blocking those tainted memories which hurt from me! Well, 
give them back! I dont give a shit about being hurt, but 
you have no right to take anything from me, no matter what 
you think is best!" I drew in a breath and the onslaught 
continued. "I am sick of myself for being fearful of being 
hurt! I am tired of others hurting me! Just tell me what I 
want to know!"
	My hand was shaking with my rage, and the blade was 
dangerously close to Elioss throat. He looked calmly down 
at the glowing blue silver blade, and as if by magic, his 
golden horn and brilliant white wings appeared. With them, 
the burden in my mind: my memories.
	I staggered back, and sank down onto the couch, 
tears forming in my eyes but never falling. My crystal sabre 
deactivated and disappeared, my will to fight gone. "Humans 
are too fragile," I whispered through my quivering lips. "So 
easily are they killed. What does it matter how strong the
soul, the mind, the heart? What do they matter with a dead 
body? When their access to the physical realm is locked from 
them? What can they do then? We are so very much mortal!"
	"Death is a natural thing, Endymion. The will of God. 
All things must die, for all things must end," my Mother 
said softly, trying to comfort me in my dark state of mind. 
	"God! God, God, God!" I shouted, anger flaring up 
within me as if it had never died, never dimmed in my moment 
of sadness and regret. "I hate him! That he should exist and 
watch unmoved by our suffering!" I screamed, slashing out 
with an arm, knocking over the vase of flowers. "There is no
God, Mother! And if there was, I would have him dead, for 
all hes worth!"
	"You would say that even if I told you I am an 
Angel?" Elios asked softly.
	I stared at the boy, his sleek white wings, whose 
reach extended above his head and touched the floor even 
when folded. His amber eyes with their different shades of 
gold. His kind and innocent face. "It would only make what I 
say all the more true," I said coldly. "You, who watch me in 
my horses body, never caring that I told you everything! 
You, who watched as my family on Earth was killed, yet you 
lifted not a finger, but made me watch their souls go to 
Heaven! You who killed my Father!" I shouted at him, rising 
and towering over him.
	Elios was silent. He stared at me as a broken 
hearted child might. He was hurt. What was he? An Angel? Or 
just a child at heart, innocent to the pains of the world? 
He had looked so confused, as if learning something for the 
first time, when I had cried apon seeing my family make 
their journey to Heaven. Could he really be as he claimed?
	I shut my eyes and turned my face, biting my lips 
hard enough to draw blood that was not real. "Enough, 
enough," I whispered through my teeth. "Please, just let me 
return to my poisoned body. I dont want to see you look as 
you do, Elios, Child from Heaven who will tell me nothing. 
Do as you wish, what you must. But I want no more of this." 
I turned to my Mother, embracing her in a warm loving hug. 
"I am sorry. For everything. For destroying your friendship 
with Selenity, for destroying our kingdom, for killing my 
Father. For living, really. Please, dont deny it. Do not 
deny the truth."
	We drew back from each other, and she shook her head, 
eyes glassy from tears, but saying nothing. I smiled softly, 
holding her warm hands still. She returned the smile, and 
reach up with on hand to brush my hair back from my eyes 
again. She was so very much a mother. My loving Mother. 
	"I am also sorry if I disappoint you, Mother. That I 
do not believe in God, for surly you do. Sorry that I would 
hate him if he existed for me. But I am what I am. Very 
little can change what I believe in. And for now, that is 
what I believe in. That there is no God, and even if there 
was one, he is worthless to me. Nothing more than a name," I 
concluded.
	"Do not be sorry for that, my son. Believe in what 
you will, but I also believe that God watches over you, and 
leads you to something grand. I trust in him, and I pray to 
him for your safety and happiness," my Mother said kindly, 
pulling me close to brush her lips across my check.
	As I turned my head to allow her this loving gesture, 
I looked out the large arched windows lining one of the 
walls. At first glance, it was paradise, what I saw beyond. 
Greenery everywhere, an elaborate water fountain, rose 
gardens. What one would imagine the courtyards of a palace 
to be like. But apon closer inspection, one could see that 
much of it was quite new: that there were no old stained
statues or over grown leafy stone walls. And beyond the 
gates guarded by a sleeping guard, ruins dominated the land 
scape. 
	The power of love could cause such destruction? It 
seemed impossible. A soul bond caused this. It was like the 
power produced by splitting an atom, only thousands time 
more so. It was as my Mother said: the power only turned 
deadly after a few hundred metres, but that was enough. 
	Do you wonder, now, why love caused such destruction? 
Well, do not tell me it was fate or destiny. I had heard 
enough of that excuse. There was a reason. Only no one would 
tell me. The Gods played with us as if we were Dolls. We 
created dolls in our own image. Were we just Gods dolls?
	"Prince Endymion, you must leave now. The others are 
calling you," Elios said softly.
	I blinked and shook my head slightly, tearing my 
eyes away from the distant ruins of my kingdom. I smiled at 
my Mother, knowing not what to say to her, and reluctant to 
say goodbye. It was too final, even though I did not know 
whether or not I would ever see her again. I hoped I would. 
My heart told me I would. But my mind was doubtful, and 
since my heart was not really with me, I could not argue 
with my mind. So I said nothing. Just embraced her again 
and let my image disbursed in uncountable numbers of 
photons: the smallest unit of light.
	White light. Just the Angel and the worthless human 
shell. 
	"Thankyou for letting me speak to my Mother. And 
thankyou for many other things," I said softly, sinking down 
onto the floor which did not really exist. Mist pooled around 
me. My crossed legs seemed to not exist. I sighed, enjoying 
the feel of my breath leave my lungs. "What now, Guardian
Angel? Should I hate you, or listen to your advice if you 
have any to give?"
	"My duty has been done," he replied softly, looking 
down at my seated form. "For the present. But I will return. 
Angels do not die," he smiled. "For all your pain and 
suffering, for what its worth, you will have some time of 
peace now, but it will not last, because peace without a 
certain element never will. Consider what you have, not what 
you do not. Try to make all that is wrong right."
	"The key word there is try," I muttered. "But for 
any moment of peace, I will do anything." I looked up at him, 
thinking many thoughts, but speaking few. In reality, I voice 
only one. "You care too much," I said quietly. "You blocked 
my painful memories to help me and comfort my Mother, you 
made me see a human in you, rather than an Angel because you 
thought seeing the wings would bring the memories of Wild 
Spirit dying back to haunt me. Perhaps there is a God."
	With that, I rose and walked up to him, until he was 
close enough to touch, to kiss. He stood there, unmoving, 
staring back into my deep blue eyes with his amber and gold 
ones. 
	"Are you like us?" I asked softly. "Are you like any 
humans? Do you help me only for your ends? More so than just 
giving you peace of mind?"
	He did not answer.
	I pressed my lips to his, closing my eyes and feeling 
his warmth flood through me. And then I stepped back and 
smiled. I said nothing more, and willed myself be back with 
my physical shell. Once more, the image of me that existed 
in my mind was destroyed, and my soul was drifting down to 
Earth.

End of Part Four, Chapter Four.

