What Was Lost Author: aria Rated: R The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) Prologue Serena and Darien sat on the edge of the little brook. She leaned against his shoulder and listened to him playing the guitar. There was no better way she could think of spending a hazy summer day. It was heaven dipping her toes in the cool water while listening to him play. She leaned back and watched the leaves flutter on the oak that protected them from the summer sun. There was nothing like being in love. Darien strummed the last chord and kissed her hair, sighing in wonder at her heavenly scent. Then, regrettably, he tapped her on the shoulder. "Time to go, sweetie. Your dad is going to be wondering where you are." Serena groaned and tore herself away from his shoulder. "Ugh. I guess you're right." She quickly got up and dusted off her skirt and helped Darien up. She hated sneaking around and hiding their relationship from the rest of the world but if her father even had an inkling about them being in a relationship, he would blow a gasket. They quickly gathered the remnants of their picnic and piled it into his beat up truck. He drove them back into town to drop her off a block away from her house. He pulled into a relatively secluded corner and turned off the engine. Darien leaned in and gently kissed her again. "You know we're going to have to tell your father about us sometime." He twirled a golden strand of hair through his fingers, loving the way it caught and played with the light. Serena ran her finger down his cheek. "I know. But I also know what he'd do if he knew." Darien shook his head. "You know there's nothing he could do to keep us apart." He grasped her fingers from his face and them each in turn. "We're meant for each other." That did nothing to allay the apprehension knotted in her stomach. "Soon. We'll do it soon. " They'd have to tell her father sooner or later since they intended to get married after she finished college. She sighed, having just finished high school, graduating from college seemed like eons away. Serena kissed him again and got out of the truck, making sure that no one was around to witness it. "I'll see you tomorrow." "You know it. I love you." "I love you too." Darien waited for her to round the corner before he started up the engine again. -- Serena walked onto the manicured lawn and past her father's Mercedes. She looked up at the huge house that she had lived in since childhood and walked inside. The house was stifling. Couldn't someone have left a window open? She walked into the kitchen and found her father there, sipping on a glass of lemonade. "Hi pumpkin. Have a good day at work?" he put down his glass and kissed her cheek. "Just great daddy." She walked over to the fridge and stuck her head into its cool interior. "What do you want for dinner?" "That can wait." He pulled out several plain white envelopes. "These came for you today." He handed them to her. Serena took a look at them and knew that they were letters from her prospective universities. She gave him a quick glance and, hands trembling opened the first one. She scanned the page swiftly and let out a squeal. "I got in!" she gave her dad a huge hug. "I got in! I got in!" "Of course you did." He set her back down and looked at the others. "Aren't you going to look at the others?" Serena shook her head. "Nope. This was my first choice." Dancing on air she did a happy little jig in the middle of the kitchen. Laughing, her father shook his head. "I think we should go out and celebrate." "Great! I'll go and get changed. " Hugging the letter to her, Serena ran up to her room. This was fabulous! She'd been accepted to the university that Darien was attending. Now they could spend more time together. At the moment their relationship was limited to weekends and the very few days he had off. They'd been looking for a way to find more time together, when Serena came up with the idea of her going to the same school as him. It was perfect. They'd live in dorms near each other, spend down time together and study together. It was idyllic. She was planning to get into the medical field just like him. She'd heard the university was top in the field and she had the added advantage of having a boyfriend already in the discipline. She'd have to get word to him soon. Several possibilities whirred through her mind as she searched for something suitable to wear. She hastily put on her favourite floral print skirt and matching tank top, then rushed back downstairs. She'd have to call him later when her father was doing his usual work in the study. The restaurant her father picked out was like the ones he usually did. Nice, expensive and full of boring people conversing quietly over their meals. Serena tried to listen to him talk about work and just couldn't do it. She was too excited about the idea of being with Darien. But her father's voice dragged her reluctantly back to reality. "Don't you think, Serena?" "Huh?" she didn't even bother to pretend that she heard what he was saying to her. He cleared his throat and sighed. "You're going to have to work on your attention span, Serena. You're going to be going to university for god's sake. How on earth are you going to learn anything if you can't pay attention for more than ten seconds at a time?" his softened his words with a slight smile. "I was saying you are going to be meeting so many new and interesting people." She nodded. "Yeah. I'm so excited!" "Have you thought about where you're going to live?" "I was thinking of living in the dorms." She tried to hide the smile that came with the thought. Ken sighed. "You don't want to do that. They're so crowded and noisy. You'll never get any work done. What if I buy you a house or something? How about an apartment?" "Oh daddy. You worry too much. I'll be fine in the dorms. How else am I going to meet people?" Ken didn't look convinced. "You forget. I've been through that before and I know what goes on there." He took a bite out of his veal cutlet. "It's just one big, constant party." Serena looked at him and solemnly raised her right hand. "I swear I won't over party, daddy." Her eyes turned pleading, something she knew her father couldn't resist. "Please daddy. Please!" Yet another sigh escaped his lips. "Oh alright. But the moment your grades slip I'm moving you into an apartment off campus." She could barely contain herself. Serena jumped up and gave her dad a big hug. "Thank you daddy! Thank you!" He blushed at the curious glances from the other restaurant patrons. "Ok. Ok. Settle down." Beaming wildly, Serena sat back down. At that moment she was so happy she could barely stop herself from bouncing with joy. She satisfied the urge with a squeal, much to the embarrassment of her father. "Eeeeeeeeeeee!" Ken buried his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into? -- That night Serena carefully filled in all the forms from the housing department as well as the course selection sheets. Who knew it was so complicated? It took her nearly two hours to just choose the courses that she wanted. Tap tap. She stopped and looked around. A familiar looking silhouette on her balcony got her out of her seat. Smiling, she ran to open the French doors. "Darien, are you crazy? What if daddy saw you?" It was much too early for Darien to be visiting, her father was still liable to be up and about. "Then I'd have to tell him about us." "Don't even say that!" Serena dragged him in and carefully closed the doors again. "Guess what?" "What?" he sat down on the edge of her bed. Serena handed him the letter. He quickly read over the page and grinned. "That's excellent!" he stood up and gave her a big bear hug. "I know!" she put up her hand silencing him. "Did you hear something?" she whispered. "I don't know." Panicked, Serena pushed him out the doors. "Get out of here now before someone sees you." "Ok, ok. He vaulted himself over the railing and hung there a moment. "A kiss?" Serena quickly kissed him. "Now go!" she watched him drop to the ground and run into the night. -- Ken sat reading over some work. It was getting late and he was beginning to tire. Rubbing at his weary eyes, he walked over and stood at the window. He blinked a couple of times. Was that a shadow he saw? Alarmed that there might be an intruder on the grounds, he studied the darkness. Almost immediately, the shadow moved again. He watched as the figure retreat into the darkness. Livid, he tossed the paper to the floor. He recognized that silhouette. This was the last straw. They thought he didn't know what was going on. He laughed bitterly. The whole three years they'd been sneaking around, he'd known about every move they made. He'd hoped that Serena would have gotten sick of sneaking around by now and dumped the boy. But it looked like that wasn't going to be happening any time soon. It was time to move to more drastic measures. -- Darien walked out of the jewellery store and looked at the little bag he carried and smiled. Serena was sure to love the ring he chose. Now all he had to do was think of a way of proposing. That had to be the hardest thing. He wanted it to be perfect. He was busy trying to think of the most spectacular way of doing that, that he barely noticed the figure blocking his path on the sidewalk. "Hello, Darien." Darien's head snapped up to see Serena's father standing in front of him. "Mr. Tsukino." Darien eyed him suspiciously. "What can I do for you, sir?" "Can't I just say hello to one of my daughter's friends?" he put his hand on Darien's shoulder. "Walk with me for a bit." Darien nodded his assent. "Sure." Something had to be up and now so was his defences. This was definitely not right. Ken started talking first. "Darien. You know how much I care for Serena don't you?" "Yes of course." "And I only want what's best for her. I always envisioned her going off to college, getting a degree and experiencing life. And perhaps meeting the right man for her." "You know, don't you?" Darien's eyes turned to ice when he looked at the man. He did not like where this was going. "Yes. And I know that you care for her." He held up his hand when Darien started to speak. "If you really care for her as much as you say you do, you will step back while she grows up." Darien shook his head. "I can't do that." "Then I won't give you my blessing. And you know how Serena feels about that." Darien nodded. He knew she could never marry him without her father's blessing. Ken handed him a folded piece of paper. "Take this." Darien opened up the cheque and his eyes widened at the number of zeroes that followed the initial number. "Are you trying to buy me off?" he thrust the check back at him. "What do you think I am?" Ken pushed his hand back. "Listen to me. I know you want to be a doctor. Use this money to get the best education possible." Darien's eyes narrowed. This was definitely too good to be true. "What's the catch?" Ken smiled. The boy wasn't as stupid as he thought. "You leave here. Go somewhere far away." He shook his head when Darien started to protest. "Not forever. Five years. Five years is all I ask for. If you still feel the same about Serena and she still feels the same for you. I will give you my blessing. And you will have my respect." Darien thought it over. They could do it. They loved each other enough to be able to do this. They could do what he was asking. Slowly he nodded. "I'll do it." "Not so fast. You realize you can't have any contact with her whatsoever." Darien's heart ached at the thought. The pain they would have to endure would be worth it if they could do this. "I understand. Just let me say goodbye--" Ken shook his head, effectively cutting Darien off. "If you're going to go, go now. Just leave." How could he leave without saying goodbye? Darien remembered a conversation he and Serena had once. He had told her that he would do anything for her. But could he leave her? A fist closed around his heart. So this is what it had come down to. Closing his eyes he willed himself to take the first step. Turning abruptly on his heel, he left Serena's father in the street and walked into the crowd. ---- Serena sat at her window and waited. Why wasn't he here yet? He was usually here by now. She checked her clock again. Something was wrong. She hadn't seen him in days. She decided to hazard a phone call. Serena grabbed her phone and dialled his number as quickly as she could. A recorded voice answered. "This number is not in use. Please check the number and dial again." Serena stared at her phone like it was crazy. She'd dialled the number a million times. She knew she'd dialled correctly. Serena tried it again. The same message. She slammed the phone down. Serena got up and put on her coat. She was going to find out what was going on. She climbed down the side of her balcony and ran through the immaculately tended shrubs to the main street. Serena quickly hailed a cab and took it to the university. The forty kilometres it took to get there felt like a million. Serena sat sullenly in the back of the cab, ignoring the cabby's attempt at chitchat. The instant the cab slowed near the curb, she handed him the money and jumped out. Serena quickly walked a couple of blocks to the building Darien lived in and hit the buzzer to his room. No answer. She tried it again and still no answer. Getting frantic she looked around for someone, anyone. A tall blonde man walked to the door. Serena recognized him immediately as Darien's roommate Andrew. "Andrew!" she ran over to him. Where's Darien?" "Serena." Andrew closed the book he'd been reading. "I was just about to ask you the same thing." "Huh?" Serena was confused even more now. "He left a few days ago. Just packed up everything and walked out. I figured you two had a fight or something." Serena's heart was beating triple time. "Where'd he go?" "I have no idea. He never said a word to anyone. I came home from class and found his side of the room completely empty." Serena felt like she was shrivelling up inside. Why would he do this? He was so close to graduation. And she thought they were getting along so well. She let out a humourless laugh. She even thought that he was going to propose. Stupid her. Blinking back tears, Serena nodded goodbye to Andrew and walked back to the quad. Then she stopped. She needed to see for herself that he was really gone. "A-Andrew?" she sobbed. He turned to her, smiling a little sadly, "Yeah, Serena?" "D-do you mind if I come up for a second?" He put his arm around her shoulders supportively. "You can come up for as long as you like." She managed a strangled, "Thank you." Serena wasn't really sure what to expect when she go there. She supposed that she was expecting it all to be a colossal joke. But the bare walls and empty shelves on his side were stark in their message. Darien really was gone. Suddenly she couldn't breathe. Serena brought her hands to her mouth shaking her head incredulously. "I-I've got to go. I'll--I'll talk to you later Andrew." "Are you going to be ok?" Andrew eyed the wobbly blonde wondering whether or not she was in any shape to leave. "I'll be fine!" she snapped then winced at her own words. "I gotta go." And with that, Serena ran out of the room. She breathed a little easier out in the fresh air. But her head was crowded with thoughts pounding in her temples. Why? How could he do this? Serena stumbled and fell to sit on the stairs. Tears started to fall now, fat and wet transforming into big splotches on her jeans. Why did he leave? Where did he go? Was it something she did? Something she didn't do? She too a heaving breath and tried to calm herself down as other students walked past, trying not to look at her. She saw the looks they gave her. Some were pitying while others simply stood and stared, blatantly wondering what had happened to make her so upset. Serena didn't care. Her heart felt as if it had been torn to shreds. But all she could think was 'Why?' She ran the question over and over in her mind, trying to fathom what would make Darien leave. But nothing could explain it. When she got sick of the looks, Serena got up slowly and caught a cab home. Luckily all the lights were still out when she go there. It didn't look like anyone realized that she wasn't home. Slowly, she managed the climb back up to her room and turned around to look at the night. Everything looked just like it should on a beautiful still moonlit night, yet nothing was how she once saw it. Her appreciation for the splendour of nature had dried up with her emotions. Nothing could be or would be beautiful for her again. Then with a heavy heart she shut to door to the world and the one to her soul.