Chapter twenty seven:

#Millia:

I watched the pirate in black, I watched him for a good five minutes, silently, motionlessly, until my legs were starting to ache.

“You don’t have to,” I told him. “He’ll be here in no time.” Johnny sat up from where he was kneeling before Sol’s door. He had sworn to himself that he’ll never let me down in the field with the men, that my condition was too ‘fragile’ to be left in such a mess. So he decided (all on his own) to take me personally into the city and directly into Sol’s apartment.

I didn’t like this one bit, Sol would probably think I wasn’t staying with him. But when you think about it, I never mentioned otherwise…

“You don’t know Sol Badguy, love. He’s the kind o’ man tha’ would saunter around town with the babes till his heart’s content, and then he’d come home like king o’ the castle, ‘ny time he likes, ‘ny where he likes.” Johnny drawled in his unique accent.

I tried not to squirm under his studying, shaded gaze. “And how do you know this?”

He paused for a moment before he kneeled at the door again, trying to pick the lock. “Honey, I know the kind of man he is, and he’s not a lady’s man.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat at the click and straightened up, towering over me. “Ma’am.”

I stepped in and noticed that the place had not changed at all since I left. At least the door was repaired. “Won’t you be staying for a while?” I tried to be polite, but to tell the truth, I only wished of him to go.

“Nah, your man would sooner skin me alive, put me on a stick ‘n eat me with pickles than he would allow me in his Kingdom.” He grinned at his own joke, “Just take care, Hun.”

All the attention and pet-naming was making me uncomfortable. “How can I thank you?” Please, just leave, now.

He leaned on the door frame. “I would ask for a kiss, but you know.” He shrugged. I was already fighting a blush. “Married women don’t do that.”

Ice ran in my veins. “What? Who... How!!”

His grin widened if that were even possible. “Dizzy thinks you make the perfect couple,” he moved away from the door. “Just visit later, to bring back the clothes, you know. Dizzy would love to see you both again.” With that he departed, leaving me standing at the door with images of the many ways Sol could skin me alive and eat me with pickles.

I shut the door and pulled a heavy chair under the knob. It wouldn’t do to be assassinated because I didn’t have the key to lock the door.

I sighed and dropped myself on the sugar brown couch. Did I do the right thing? Would Sol be happy that I’m here? Would he really kill Johnny? Would Johnny be whimpering like a little girl?

I smiled to myself at that thought. I’ve never really seen Johnny cowering before, not even in close combat. He’d always been confidant in himself, sometimes almost too much. While Johnny’s fighting stance always reflected caution and grace, Sol’s would look lazy and open, especially for the untrained eye.

I’ve fought the man before, and I don’t really appreciate the way he swung his sword like it was a piece of him. Sword fighters back at the Guild usually started training at a very tender age, only becoming ‘pros’ in their late forties and by the time that happens, they are usually sent on dangerous missions and killed or retired to teach the young ones all over again.

It would probably take you fifty more years to become what Sol is. I guess it’s his love for his sword that had gotten him past a couple of years.

Either that or Sol’s a hundred years old.

I smiled to myself at that silly thought and yawned. The bath and good meal are starting to get to me. Am I allowed to sleep right now? It still feels like a dream, the days go on without a schedule. Like I’m on a permanent vacation.

At least now I can sit and think without having some officer breathing down my neck.

I leaned the crutches on the wall and went to rest down on the couch, I lifted my legs on the armrest and sighed. God it feels so good… a smile made its way to my face, I didn’t even bother to fight it. Sol would be so surprised. I hugged myself and wondered what his expression would be like when he walked though that door.

”Millia! You’re here! I missed you so much!”

I giggled. No way Sol would say that…

”Honey, I’m home.”

No, not that either.

”Damn it, Rage, get your ass off my couch.”

Hee hee, maybe. I wiggled my toes and watched them peak under the big, stiff gauze. Oh, How much I want him to take this thing off…

I remember back when the Gear technology was first implanted in me, resulting in my live hair, I used to be a quick healer. Once I fell off the second floor in a mission, two weeks and I was out, all whole and healed. Maybe this would be the same?

The fracture maybe, the bullet will have to take its time. Sol said so. How does he know anyway?

I shrugged to myself, still staring at the ceiling, wondering how that sticker got there. Sol has probably gotten broken once or twice, he seems like the Biker type. And those guys break all the time.

I sighed and rolled to my side, it was getting cold.

Sol sure is late…

I must have dozed off, because later I was awakened by the sound of keys rattling in the door. A faint ‘What the hell’ echoed from the other side.

I’d better get up and open it before he decided to break this one as well.

I sat up and reached for my crutches. By the time I opened the door, Sol had already thrown himself at the door, apparently figuring in was the lock. We almost had an accident had Sol not stood on his tiptoes and stared down at me, our noses almost touching.

The blue in his eyes flickered quickly, like rippling ocean waves. Shock and happiness and doubt and anger rolling in the gleam of his eyes, he looked tired and there were grass blades in his hair.

I took a step back and studied him. He looked very well relaxed, almost too relaxed. His eyes had dark rings under them and his shoulders were slumped.

Don’t tell me he’s been doing what I think he was doing!

“Rage?” he sounded like he was screaming for two hours straight.

Yeah, definitely what I think he was doing… that obsessed dirty hormonal ass! Johnny was right!

“Where have you been?” I pulled a grass blade from his hair for emphasis.

His expression hardened. Exactly what I thought. “It’s none of your business.” His ears pinked at my question, which I assumed was the blush of satisfaction.

That bastard…

“Why is that?” I put a hand on my hip, already angry with him and myself.

His fire sword cluttered to the floor, the loud noise echoing through the silence. He passed his hand over his face and it was only then that I realized his headband was slung over his neck. “Listen, woman, I’m tired, just shut your mouth and let me sleep.”

After what probably happened you’d be exhausted, oh dear husband of mine! “Why, I thought you said you didn’t need much sleep!”

His eyes were weary. “Rage, I’m not in the mood for you.” He made a move to walk past me, but stretched my crutch in his way. “Rage, I’m warning you.”

I was more angry at myself that at him. It is my fault that I kept pushing him back and fourth with my problems and weird personality. I’m surprised he didn’t stick me with his sword already. I should probably apologize…

“The crew knows we’re married.” No! That’s not what I wanted to say!

I braced myself for the angry explosion that was sure to come, but when nothing happened, I opened my eyes cautiously and watched his expression. He looked indifferent for a long moment, before he looked away with a small twitch in his brow. He sighed and gave me a half-gaze. “You told them.”

Its no big deal, the marriage is probably wrecked already. “Dizzy told them, I didn’t mean for it go like this.”

He sighed, not angrily. “I’m going to sleep.” He stepped over the limp crutch and made his way to the bedroom.

Wait a minute, if he slept on the bed, where would I sleep? I do not want to sleep on this uncomfortable couch!

I limped over to the door way and plastered a frown on my face, determine to confront him about his ‘sin’. I leaned on the doorframe and studied his figure. He was sitting over the edge of the bed, hanging his head in his hands, his favorite head band lay neglected on the floor. A quick, deep breath shook his shoulders.

One-night stands don’t do this to Sol Badguy. Something is definitely wrong!

“Sol.” I dragged my leg over into the room, crutches forgotten. His head snapped up suddenly and I caught a glimpse of raw emotion in his cold blue eyes.

That look was replaced quickly by anger. “Leave me alone.”

But you sounded like you were crying! A slow burst of heat climbed up my chest and throat, I was aching for him… “What wrong?”

His brows creased and his fists shook. “Leave me alone, don’t you understand English?”

The heat in me curled over itself and became cold, still clogged in my throat. “I’m Russian.” I don’t even know what possessed me to say such a stupid thing.

He surprised me when he sat up and hauled his shirt over his head. I was more shocked at the action than at the emotion that triggered it. The place was practically subzero in temperature, why was he sleeping half naked?

“You are not welcome here, get out.” His eyes were guarded, but I knew what I saw beyond that.

I took a step back, and then another, and another. He has that look, that cold, empty look. The look that reflected a graveyard in his soul. I tripped on my own feet and fell flat on the floor, pain shooting up my arm.

My back arched reflexively and white pain in my head filled my vision. I took deep breaths to keep from screaming out loud and moved my fingers slowly, willing the painful numbness away. I lifted my head and searched his eyes out of instinct if nothing else. If looks could kill, I would have been eight feet under by now.

Tears of pain and frustration threatened to spill, so I retreated to the only defense mechanism I had left. “Was it good?”

His gaze remained angry. Only after a moment, it flashed in confusion.

I tried to sit up with as less pain as possible, only ending up on my behind again. “Was she good? The one you came back from?” there was a foul taste in my mouth.

He blinked slowly through the frown, like he couldn’t see well. “What?”

I laced my fingers together and rubbed the painful twitching away. The place was freezing. “You think I’m an idiot?” Face emotionless, check. Hair obedient, check. Breathing, not check… “The grass blades, your voice, your exhaustion.” I pointed a finger at him. “You think I don’t know where you’ve been?”

He surprised me when his expression changed drastically, instead of being angry at me, he looked like he was about to explode in laughter any minute. That didn’t happen, however.

“You think I was out with a woman?”

Weren’t you? “You wanted me to be your wife.” I recalled what he told me only hours before, on the airship. “Or at least, to pretend.”

The laughter in his eyes dimmed. “So now we’re playing pretend?”

If you would pretend that you’d care for me… “Yeah.”

He stood, picked up his headband and then knelt down so that he was face to face with me. “Then let’s pretend that I’m the American, and you’re the Russian.”

I don’t like this…

“Leave. Me. Alone.” He sat up and pulled the headband over his hair.

I stood on wobbly feet, fueled by my rage. “That is so racist!”

“Get over it.” He flopped on the bed. “You can’t do otherwise.”

Heat filled my cheeks. Russia is not a bad thing! It’s true that my father had lived there, and he with mother had—No… No, don’t think about that. I used to play in dad’s cotton field, which was innocent and fun… Dad never smiled when he came back, that’s why he—No no no! Stop thinking about it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#Sol:

I watched her wring her hands together, lost in though. Damn, that wasn’t what I wanted to say, it came out all wrong…

How in hell did ‘I’ll be husband, you’ll be wife.’ Turn into this?

There goes the chance of a quiet night.

Damn. She thinks I was with some woman. Che, I wish… Those damn teenagers kept crawling out of nowhere to make out, a guy can’t even wallow in his misery in peace. I’m glad I didn’t let myself cry, last time I had to live with the memories I couldn’t even pour myself coffee without having to envision something that happened.

That was almost two hundred years ago…

Now that I know what I’m up against, I know how to deal with it.

I think…

But damn, a woman? Why didn’t I think of that…

Because you ‘Can’t’?

I could, but she’d probably die, which is not a pretty sight. And I’d rather leave quietly than duck under a yellow tape.

That sums it all up into the ‘You can’t’ category.

I could, dammit, I just chose not to.

Fine.

I sat up and openly watched the struggling woman. I was too depressed to comfort her, and too tired to fight with her, so I let her be. “I want to sleep.”

She looked up at me like she didn’t expect me to be there. “Me too.” Her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Damn, she loves her hometown that much? I fought a groan. I can’t even remember where I was born… “Don’t get so worked up, I was just pushing your buttons.” So get lost and let me sleep already.

She drew closer to the bed and I had to fight a groan. Please, leave, I’m not really in the mood for bickering and arguing. Her stare was fixed on me the whole way, up until she sat on the edge of the bed. “I loved Russia.”

Where, exactly, is this going? “Yay for you.” I dropped my head on the pillow and sighed loudly. Get a hint dammit.

She averted her gaze for a long moment and I thought I was home free, but I was wrong. She looked up with an expressionless face, her eyes reflecting the graveyard in her soul.

I feel your pain…

I sat up and pretended to be annoyed. I was actually nervous as hell, not to mention exhausted. “What.” I’ve seen her writhe in her nightmares before. Something about a person killing the other…

“Can I stay here, with you?” her voice wavered, but her expression remained the same. Damn military training, she’s female!

But damn, if it would get you to sleep, then so be it. “Stay as long as you want, just don’t bother me.” I flopped on my other side, ignoring her, and pulled the blankets to my shoulders.

The mattress shifted behind me and when I turned, I realized that she had meant here here.

“What the hell.” I leaned on an elbow and frowned down at her. “Not here here, go somewhere else.”

Midway through her struggle with the blanket, she paused to look at me, her happy face was replaced with the emotionless mask as soon as I spoke. She slid bonelessly off the bed and curled on the floor, her back to me.

I sighed and glared at her. “Get up, sleep somewhere else.” She’s being ridicules and childish.

Sol, Don’t be an ass, invite her at least for the night. You know what could happen tonight.

No way… What… would happen tonight?

I’ve restored some files, which will probably ‘disturb’ your sleep.

I’ll be just fine, I don’t need her sympathy.

…

Actually, the least I expected was to find her here, I thought she would chose the right thing…

Seems to me you were wrong.

You mean she was wrong.

No, Sol, do not underestimate a woman’s intuition.

Intuition my ass, its something women yak about to outwin men.

Outwin is not even a word!

You get the point.

You’re not yourself today…

No kidding? I haven’t had a cigarette for four days. I’m as good as dead.

I can always increase your nicotine, but that would probably hasten the Confusion Phase.

We wouldn’t want that, now would we?

Wouldn’t you like to be human, for a day?

I’d like to be asleep, for a couple of hours, if you don’t mind.

Sleep.exe will be launched in three seconds.

Wait Sol! Millia is still curled on the cold floor!

So? She can always get up.

But she’s crying!

No one cares.

Sleep.exe launched successfully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The highroad was dark and empty that night, save for one car speeding up without hesitation, sloshing in the fresh layer of rain.

“Honey, its gotten really late, we should just pull over for a while.” She had brown curly hair, soft chocolate eyes and a body that only belonged to a loving mother. I loved her so much.

I shook my head and took a quick glance at the mirror, my eyes were reddening with exhaustion and my glasses were riding low on my nose. I sighed and stretched my fingers on the wheel. “I’m fine, we’ll be there in an hour or so, I can mange.”

“But you look so tired!” her hand touched my face. I smiled for her and concentrated on the road. “Seriously, Fredrick, we’re not in a hurry. Pull over.”

I pushed my glasses up and sighed, exhausted and irritated. “I told you I’m fine, look I can see the city from here.”

“It’s not safe to drive on a rainy night, pull over, now.” Her voice held that tone she usually scolded Annabelle with. “Fredrick, I’m warning you.”

“But the rain’s stopped.” My brows twitched, something that usually happened after long hours of delicate-operations. After a sigh I reasoned, “Would it do if I just slow down?”

“By God, Fredrick. I don’t care about what would happen to us, think of the innocent angel in the back seat!”

I didn’t have to turn around to understand what she meant. Annabelle was sound asleep in the back seat, holding her dolphin doll tight and sucking on her small thumb- a habit even advanced medical attention couldn’t cure.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Nothing is going to happen, just let me concentrate.”

I flexed my fingers over the rubber coating of the wheel again and took a deep breath, easing down off the paddle a little.

“Come on, Honey, I need to stretch.” She leaned on my shoulder and purred in my ear in her ’I want to go upstairs’ voice.

I smiled and shook my head. “We’re there, sweetheart, keep your hands off, kids are present.”

She grinned into the mirror. “They’re asleep.” She shifted again and rubbed her shoulder to mine. “Come on, pull over, I need to tell you something.”

“As soon as we cross that bridge, Love.” I smiled down at her and lifted my head to watch the road.

Seemingly out of nowhere, twin, small and too-bright lights flashed only a small distance from my car. A loud deep horn rang in the stillness of the night and the lights swayed. I don’t know what surprised me more, the way the almost-invisible truck drew nearer in lightning speed or the loud gasp very near my ear. My name was called in a strangled shout and my fingers slipped off the wheel, in my frantic search for stability all my eyes were able to catch were quick hazy flashes. On the left were legs, and on the right the huge body of the truck coming up to meet me. I didn’t even have the chance to look shocked.

I bolted upright, feeling unbelievably hot and nervous and my skin itched. I realized that I couldn’t breathe properly no matter how hard I tried. My heart slammed against my ribcage loudly, threatening to burst.

There was nothing but silence around me.

I brushed back damp hair off my brows and pulled the hot headband off my forehead and down to my neck. My whole body was bathing in sweat, the only natural response to a dream like that.

That wasn’t everything… was it… ?

You will remember more.

I’ve had enough.

I cannot control it. Sorry.

I took a deep breath and fell back into the hot sheets. “Not again.” I told the person in me, not even possessing an ounce of power to shout at him. “Don’t show me again.”

The air around me stirred. A cold, sad presence, somewhere, shared my pain.

I took another deep breath and spoke, telling myself that I only needed to go back to sleep. “Just let me…” Sleep. I just want to sleep. Don’t show me anything anymore.

I opened my eyes at a bright, hot light. Our eyes met, brown on brown. I wanted to speak, but my lips refused to move. And there was a foul taste in my mouth.

It tasted like blood and rain.

My fingers twitched uselessly near my glasses, but I couldn’t move them for the life of me.

Babe, don’t cry, I’m here, I’ll save you.

Tears of pain washed my face. I couldn’t move my legs, whatever was above them was cutting the circulation and I couldn’t even feel my spine.

I’m crushed aren’t I? I’m going to die, aren’t I?

She cried, a small thin string of blood pouring down her mouth. And she cried. A small, white, purely innocent hand lay in her outstretched palm. Her blue dress, or what I was able to notice of it, was awash with red sticky blood.

Somebody near me made themselves present, they touched my shoulder and looked down into my face. “You’ll be okay, sir. We’ll help you.”

I moved my eyes to look back at my life, my family. My baby was laying down, exactly as she had fallen asleep. Her beautiful soft hair kissing her cheek as she lay on her side on the glowing, red carpet of asphalt.

She’s a live, right? She’s just sleeping.

Wake up, baby, its morning. Daddy’s leaving for work and he wants a kiss from you.

I curled to my side and clenched my jaws. “Damn you…” It was hot and cold and damp and I wanted to rip anything to shreds with my own palms and I would pay my own life if it would just bring her back.

Familiar hospital light bulbs hung above me. Why was I in the operation room?

“You’re awake.” A low voice whispered in my ear, an almost-familiar face roamed before me. I recognized the man as my research partner, but I couldn’t recall his name at all, as if I’ve never even heard it. “Fredrick, I want you to look into my eyes and tell me what you want.”

I tried to focus on his eyes, but the pain in my head and spine was just too much to bear. As if the whole world had just came down crashing on me, I let the tears fall and I whispered. “Kill me…”

His emotionless face remained above me. “Fredrick, look into my eyes.”

I tried to focus but how the hell was I supposed to get the right answer when I couldn’t even remember the question? “Damn you.”

“You’ve hurt your spine, you’ll never live.”

Then by God, let me be…

“I can make you alive again.” He touched my forehead, gaining some of my attention. God it hurt so much… “I can make your life easier.”

“What do you want from me?” the world swam around those words, like I didn’t say them myself.

The short amount of silence that followed made my head hurt.

“I can make you a Gear. You’ll be alive again.”

“I don’t want to live.” I cried. I just want to be with them. I should have been…

No… wait… Annabelle was still alive, right! She was asleep back then. I can still keep her!

“Please Fredrick, say yes. I don’t want to lose you, too. It’s only a matter of time.” His brows tensed and his hand on my forehead lifted.

I took a breath, as if sucking in the newfound will to live. “Yes, make me alive again.” I need to take care of her.

I need to stay with her. Or she’d cry…

My jaws hurt so much. I think I’m going to lose some teeth when I wake up. Let me go already, I want to wake up. Let me go.

Please, let me wake.

I sat up from the bed with no trace of sleep in my eyes. I pushed the white bed sheets off my body only to realize that I was naked save for the patches of red-soaked gauze. There were fresh scars on my hip and an angry engraved piece of metal that stuck to my leg. I was probably unfinished, neglected for coffee break, no doubt.

I knew where I was. I was underground.

I was a Gear now.

I should know, I’ve practically created them.

The door opened and I never bothered to cover up, they’d seen more of me than I care to know.

“You are awake.” He made that mysterious smile and walked up to me, a manila folder in his hand. “You should lay down, you are still weak.” He put the folder down and proceeded to pull on a fresh pair of plastic gloves. “How do you feel?”

“Dead.” I fell down into the uncomfortable surgery bed and stared at the lights. “Are they…” Completely painless surroundings, heatless, too. “Okay?”

He gave me a skeptical look. “Who are?”

Bile rose to my throat. “Th-Them..”

“Your ‘family’?” the glove snapped over his wrist and he reached for the surgery table. “They’re… Not well.”

I watched, emotionlessly, as he started pulling the bent scrape of metal out of my shin. Blood poured at the simplest slant. There was no pain, though. The sheets beneath me soaked in fresh blood and I wondered how he’d done that.

“Is there any pain?”

“Not at all.” I sat on my elbows for closer inspection. “Why?”

His always-emotionless eyes looked down at me. “You’re a gear now. If you reach deep down in you, you’ll be able to turn it on and off.”

I fell on the pillow again and stared at the ceiling.

I opened my eyes and stared at the far wall.

Why’d you show me all this?

I brushed away betraying wetness off my cheeks and stretched my arm, reaching miserably for a fictional shadow.

Why’d he have to do this to me?

A flash of our very last conversation sparkled in my head.

“I’m setting you free, Fredrick.”

“You haven’t shown her to me! Where is she?”

“She’s safe.”

“Don’t act so calm! Where the hell is she?!”

“If you find me again. I’ll show you.” With that, he had disappeared into fog. I had been speaking with a hologram the whole time.

I still couldn’t remember that man’s name…

That damn bastard.

If he had been using my daughter as another experiment then I’d show him exactly where to put a certain scrap of metal. But all I could do was follow him around, tracing his gears and hunting them down to find my answer.

I never did.

End of chapter twenty seven.