Chapter twenty six:

Millia:    

 

“Seriously, what do you see in him?” April was kneeling behind me, holding a wet towel and adorning a displeased look on her face. I was dressed in nothing but a towel, seeing that I needed help bathing. I wasn’t comfortable showing myself off to anybody, but after all, I couldn’t reach my back with a broken arm and a bruise running down my back.

So yeah, there she was, scrubbing my back to get me to talk about Sol.

I held the towel tighter to my chest and sighed, the air was so foggy I could barely see my toes from where I sat. “He’s nice.”

“Nice!” she stopped squeezing the towel for the umpteenth time to ask stupid questions. “Did you look into his face lately? The guy practically has ‘go to hell’ tattooed on his forehead!”

I sighed and twitched when she rubbed a little too hard. “Nn… If that’s, what you… think.” I tried to breathe calmly and not turn around to strangle her.

 

About strangle, suddenly my hair refused to respond no matter how hard I try. Now is the third day since the- Incident… of Lori… Since then I couldn’t get my hair to respond, it became nothing but normal hair.

That needed washing badly.

 

“Hmm, I think that aughta do it.” April threw the towel into the sink and huffed. “You want me to wash your hair?”

Are you crazy? You’d rip it off! “No thank you, I can do it on my own.” I wrapped the towel tightly so that my back wasn’t exposed any more.

“Hmm, okay.” She sat up and headed to the door. “I’m going for the other shower, Oh and Millia?”

I winced and looked up at her. “What?”

“Did you know you had a tattoo on your hip?” she grinned knowingly.

I sighed quietly. “Yes.”

“Love me…” she scratched her cheek, “Who’d you get that for?” she winked and made her way out.

 

She had left the door ajar so I limped over and shut it. I hate it when they don’t close the door behind them.

If I will be staying with Sol, would he help me bathe? Oh God, I cant believe this! Maybe I should just stay with the girls, I’ll be more of a bother than help with Sol… But… Sol… me…

Why is this happening to me! Its so embarrassing! 

 

I turned on my heel, turning to go back to the small chair I was sitting on, I tripped on my own feet and fell face-first. A string of pain shot up my arm and all the way to my spine, God it hurt so much…

I breathed quietly and rolled over to my back, it was so hard to breathe. Hair clung to my forehead, it was becoming almost too hot. Was I sweating or is it just the hot fog? I didn’t know anymore, what I knew was that I wanted to open the door and get out of there, I couldn’t breathe…

 

So that is why they leave the door ajar…

 

I sat up and crawled over to the door, I opened it and stumbled to my room, it was only two doors away. The world was like a colored ocean of doors and tables and beds. I only remember laying face down in my bed and breathing. Breathing so hard I thought I was drowning.

 

“Rage?” a hazy blur of red swam before my eyes

“Sol?” I tried to move, but it was so tiring.

“What the hell are you doing?” the red puff of color swam closer and made the bed shift. “Can’t you stay alive without me around?” he made a small sound of displeasure and pulled at my shoulders. “Can you breathe?”

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath, focusing on familiar eyes and nose.

I groped around for my towel, only to find that he’d been holding it with one hand, and the other on my shoulder.

Warm…

 

What am I doing?! “What are you doing here!” I pushed him away and held the towel tightly.

He sat up and frowned, the quiet moment already passed by us. Silently, he made his way to the door. He paused before declaring, “We’ll be landing after dinner, get dressed.”  

“I’m sorry.” I hung my head. “Sol, I’m sorry.”

“Che.” The door was shut behind him.

 

I dropped my head back down and sighed. Now I’ve screwed it up… I feel so depressed…  the bed was warm, and the cool air around me made it easier to feel sleepy, I’ve always wondered what it felt like to sleep like this…

 

What am I saying!

 

I wanted to sit up, but was too lazy to do so, I know I should get up and get dressed, but I wanted to sleep just as much. I was so tired, but was also hungry, I wanted to get up and eat, but to do that I needed to get up first, and then properly clothed…

Such a bother…

 

I sighed quietly and pulled myself up, unwillingly reaching over to grab a piece of underwear that lay waiting on the pillow. Dizzy was so generous to lend me some of her new clothes, I almost feel bad for having to wear them when they were obviously chosen because she liked them…  

After donning proper underwear, I sat on the bed to convince myself that pulling pants over my leg wouldn’t hurt as much, I was wrong. Half way done with the pants, the door creaked open and I pulled the wet towel over myself with a gasp. “At least knock!”

 

Sol walked in, a bored look on his face. My jaws clenched. “Aren’t you coming for dinner?” he leaned on the doorframe.

“I am.” Just get out so I can get dressed.

He watched me for an uncomfortable moment before shutting the door as he left, almost angrily. Did he just look thoughtful? Don’t tell me he was envisioning me without the towel?

I sighed loudly and tried to stop the crazy ideas. Sol does not want to help me dress, he does not need to see me like this, we are not that friendly. He said so himself.  

 

I was able to pull the shirt on with less pain, seeing that my arm hurt less. Maybe I should take the cast off… I cant stand being so handicapped like this, not after I finally had my life back… in a way…

 

I sat up and leaned on the walls, trying to figure my way into the kitchen, the hallways were familiar, but I was more preoccupied with the voices that came from the kitchen.

 

“-Had gotten so expensive, I’m afraid I’ll never buy Glasses again.” Johnny’s voice. I stepped into the doorway and watched the Jellyfish pirates sitting at the long dinner table, with two other people who I recognized as the albino who got me out and his Japanese friend.

 

Where is Sol?

 

“Millia!” Johnny looked up from his spaghetti plate and grinned. “Come join us!”

I used the wall to make my way to the table, and couldn’t help but ask. “Where is Sol?”

The table had gone silent, suddenly. “O-Oh… He said he didn’t want to eat.” Johnny held out a plate and two forks. “Why don’t you try to convince him?”

I looked down at the spaghetti, steaming hot in my hands, and then looked up at the blonde man. “Why me?”

He grinned and his brows peaked from under the glasses. He turned around to sit into his chair and continued talking, completely ignoring me. Dizzy caught my eye and gave me an excited nod. Oh, God, did she tell him? I’m dead, Sol would kill me, put me in a stick and eat me…

 

I turned around and exited the kitchen, feeling ignored and left out. I rounded the corner to the living room and sat on the couch, listening absently to the quiet hum of the engines. I sighed and put the plate and forks on the coffee table. I absently glared at a Styrofoam coffee cup sitting idly next to my plate.

 

If Venom was not the one behind all this, then who is it that wants me dead? Zato is unquestionably dead, and Slayer is running around like a tumbleweed, no way either of them would be plotting it. 

 

I sighed and hung my head, my damp hair hanging before my face like a wet curtain.

 

Why, Hair, why aren’t you responding? Why did you kill her? I thought we understood each other, is it because I refused to use you anymore? Do you miss the action? You know, I love you and everything, but if all you are going to do is hang miserably and be in my way, I’m afraid I’m going to have you removed, since you obviously don’t want me anymore either…

 

It was like lighting a match in the darkness, a single strand of hair twitched once, and then stilled, exhausted.

 

I leaned back and let a small smile show on my face. My eyes caught movement to the right and I instantly looked that direction. Sol was giving me a ‘What the hell are you smiling about?’ frown. I took a breath- mainly to calm myself and to keep from screaming in surprise. The loud beating in my ears wasn’t helping either. How long has he been sitting there?  

     

“Sol…” I leaned forward and put the plate in my lap, and then grabbed the fork, doing anything but looking at him.

He reached to the table and held the Styrofoam cup. So the cup was his? I couldn’t help but notice how big his palms were compared to the cup, it barely covered the whole thing.

 

I wonder how that fellow, Potemkin, drinks…

 

“Sol, When can I take off the cast?” I squirmed a little, trying to be comfortable with the plate on my thighs. I settled for leaving it on the coffee table and leaning in for a forkful every now and then.

“Which.” For a moment there I thought he was cursing me, so I glared at him for a long moment. “Which one.”

Taking a moment to understand, I nodded slowly. “Oh… My arm.”

He put the cup down, empty. “Six months.”

I swallowed. “And… my leg?”

He had that look on his face, like he couldn’t see clearly. “It’s just a fracture right? I’d say… two months…” he was lost in thought.

I watched him for a quiet moment, fork in hand and thoughts running in my head. “And, you know this… How?”

 

Our eyes met, his eyes were a hazy blue, guarded and thoughtful. He took a deep breath but didn’t say anything. He crossed his arms and stared at the table.

 

Have you ever had the feeling that the person before you was struggling with his words, and would rather be quiet than say them the wrong way? I guess that was how I felt then…

 

“Sol…” If only he was on the other side of the couch, I could have touched his hand… Why I wanted to touch his hand in the first place is still a mystery to me. “Please tell me.” I whispered, not wanting any of the other occupants of the ship to hear. “If its okay for me… to stay with you for a while.”

After a short stretch of silence, he let a breath loose. “Why.”

This question always confused me. “Why what?”

His mouth was set in a frown. “Why stay with me.” He uncrossed his arms to brush back his hair. “You can stay right here.”

I don’t know why I chose to feel hurt that moment, he was rejecting me, right? Nothing wrong with that… right? “O-Okay…” If that’s what you want… I’ll be out of your hair, just as I promised before…

Why does it hurt so much, then?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

#Sol:

 

Damn if I’m softening up and damn if Johnny was right and Damn if I want nicotine now.

 

It’d be easier for both of us if she just stayed here, right?

Che…

 

“It’d be easier around girls your age.” I grumbled and searched my pockets for the umpteenth time. No matter how many times I search, a cigarette isn’t going to magically appear there…

“My age?” Her eyes swam with confusion, and there was some sauce on her lower lip. “Sol, you’re the only one around my age here.”

I almost smirked at that. If only you knew… “Oh yeah, forgot you were thirty.”

Her shoulders squared. “Actually, I’m still twenty nine.”

I tried to fight the snappish mood.

“In about five months I’d be thirty exactly.” She was glaring at the half-empty plate. 

The question kept nagging in my head. “How old do you feel.”

She pursed her lips quietly before whispering. “A couple hundred.” She looked up at me and I saw amusement and sorrow, pain that was suppressed for seemingly hundreds of years.

 

I tried not to notice the tiny smear of sauce on her lips, or the way she smelled, or the way a blonde strand would twitch every once in a while.

As usual, I did notice.

 

The Engines rumbled loudly and the whole room lurched to the side, I simply remained in my seat, but Rage seemed to have a hard time doing that, she almost fell in my lap. The room leveled again just as quick before the intercom buzzed. I was suddenly angry for no reason at all… Did I want her to fall in my lap?

 

Che…

 

“Alright, Badguy’s and Japanese, we’re down,” The annoying voice of the male pirate boomed through the speakers. “Unless you’re willing to become part of my crew, then you are free to leave!” there was a pause which afterwards we heard a loud smack. “Ow! I meant that for Millia! I swear!”

 

I sighed and scratched my scalp, I needed a shower… but damn, I was angry and annoyed and disappointed and I needed a cigarette now.   

 

“See you around.” I sat up and stretched.

“I don’t want to stay here, Sol.” Her hand caught my glove.

I readied myself for the ‘physical contact’ warning that was sure to come up, but none came. That’s weird… “So.”

Her tug became urgent. “I- I’m… I don’t.”

Why was she struggling with her words?

“We’re married, aren’t we? I want to stay with you!” I didn’t look at her.

 

So that’s what she’s going to do, flash this thing in my face every time we have an argument? That was beyond low…

 

It did sound interesting, though…

 

What the hell?!

 

I ripped my hand away and frowned down at her. “Damn it, Rage, If you believe you were my… At least pretend.” I carefully ruled out the word ‘wife’.

She lowered her head. “You are the only one who doesn’t make me feel like a murderer.” There was a long stretch of silence, one that filled my head with annoying warnings and persistent suggestions.

 

For God’s sake, Sol, make a decision already, its cramped here.

Shut up, I’m thinking.

Would this help?

 

Nicotine.hrmn increased 3%

 

I took a deep breath and chewed on the inside of my cheek. It was very rare of Fredrick to increase a hormone on a whim, I must have really needed it.

Suddenly, nothing felt as annoying or bothersome as it did fifteen seconds ago.   

 

“What are you saying?” I shoved my hand in my pocket and looked down at her.

She jumped at the sound of my voice and looked up at me, her cheeks flushed. “What?”

“You’re not a murderer?” ouch, I think I ripped out something… damn teeth…

“Not when you are around.” She looked back at her leg and her shoulders shook.

 

I sighed and cursed female’s shyness. It had me confused more than once.

 

“Helooo.” A pirate clad in black leather peeked into the doorway. “You becoming a Jellyfish, Badguy?” His glasses slung down his nose when Fuuenken hit the metallic wall near his hand. The melting metal hissed and Fuuenken fell gracefully to the red carpet. “Gulp… Okay, we’re down, so hurry up and get off if you want!” with that he disappeared.

 

I looked down at Rage and she was just as shocked as the pirate. Our eyes met. “In or out.” I didn’t wait to hear her response, instead, I picked up Fuuenken from the floor and left the room. Let her decide, even though I already know she’s coming.

 

~~~~

 

I waited outside the ship, Fuuenken in my hand and a frown on my face. They will be picking off any minute now, where the hell is she?

 

She’s not coming. I should just get going. Its already dark. I tried to argue with the stubborn side of me.

No, Sol, we will wait, she is coming.

Well, I can’t see her, she’s not coming.

She said she would be coming, Sol.

She changed her mind, Freddy, let’s just go, I still need a cigarette.

We shall wait.

 

I willed my feet to move, but it felt like somebody had planted them in dry cement.

 

Fredrick, don’t be childish, we don’t need her.

We wait.

 

I sighed and shifted Fuuenken to my right hand, as if shifting the weight would make my feet obey.

 

Fredrick. Feet. Now.

No.

I’ll turn you off.

You wont, just be patient okay! Maybe she’s thanking them right now.

She’s not thanking anybody, she’s staying.

She is thanking Johnny now, he is trying to keep her with them.

Stop dreaming. I scowled. She stays, period.

Little Dizzy is crying, asking her to stay a little more.    

She agrees, we leave. Come on.

May’s annoying voice follows her, she is walking unwillingly through the doorway.

 

I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

 

“Sol san, are you okay?” I frowned at the Japanese dancer and he cowered. “You just looked angry with yourself for a minute there…”

“Go away.”

He looked up at the open mouth of the ship, nobody was there. “Are you waiting for her?”

I shook my head. “No.”

 

At the lack of any more response, Mito sighed, a small smile on his face. “There is an old saying…”

Oh great, here’s another episode of ‘wasting time with Mito’… brace yourselves.

“It goes.” He pushed the tiny glasses over the bridge of his nose. “One wishes for a happy life, And a happy life is a good woman.” He nodded, proud of himself. “If you think she is a good woman, then please Sol… Do yourself a favor…” he left the last words unsaid as he smiled and departed, a childish drug dealer hot on his heels.

 

See, Even Anji Mito agrees with me.

Then God damnit why isn’t she coming? Neither of you is right. I’m outta here.

Sol… I can feel her, she’s gong to peak out any minute! I promise!

 

I plastered a frown on my face and took a good look around the field. Trying to find something good enough to smack some sense into the crazy person living inside me, and also to waste time to prove that he was wrong.   

 

I stared at an appealing, huge, rough rock. But my legs refused to move.

Fredrick, I swear.

Just five minutes!

Fredrick

Three?!

Don’t.

One minute! Just one minute!

I’m counting you.

 

Countdown timer set on 0 H. 1 M. 0 S.

 

I looked up above my head and studied the darkened sky. Ever since the discovery of magic, the world had changed drastically, even the stars seem to disagree with it.

You can barely make out the Northern star anymore, the big dipper and the rest of the more-unique clusters had disappeared completely. The only thing you see now when you look up, is a single weak dot in the northern region, another dot near the pale, dying moon, and a depressing blanket of pitch black.

 

 “That’s a falling star! Make a wish!”

“Wish?”

“Just make a wish!”

“!!! Umm, I wish to have a pony!”

“You’re not supposed to say that out loud!”       

 

A small smile tugged at my lips. No matter how painful those memories are, some of them can make me smile, for that they still are precious, and I guess it was probably wrong of me to delete most of them. Now they only come on occasion. To the point that I don’t really remember any of the things we used to do on our daily lives…

 

Countdown timer had reached zero.

 

I hung my head low, with a new sense of dread and depression.

 

We leave now… don’t we?

…

 

Fredrick was crying on the inside.

You big baby, I told you we didn’t need her.

 

I sighed and felt a tightening in my throat. Damnit, if you’re depressed in there then leave me alone!

 

The engines of the ship roared and it took off, shutting the door loudly as it floated in midair. There was nobody coming out, nobody would be coming out until three days later when they land elsewhere.  

Rage was not coming.

 

The ship slowly, but surly, started edging towards the horizon. Just then, movement caught my eye.

 

A shooting star.

 

A lump formed in my throat, tension in my brows.

Shooting stars don’t make wishes, they’re inanimate objects moved through the will of God and are pulled by gravity.  

 

But I want to make a wish… The star had faded just as quickly as it had appeared.

Wishes are silly.

 

I shoved my hands in my pockets, my shoulders caught in a shrug. The cold was coming from the inside.

 

I sighed and looked up at the single star.

If I was allowed to wish… I’d just want my life back…

 

I pressed my lips together in concentration and then turned around towards civilization. It will be a long walk home.

The wind picked up suddenly, and I took a deep breath, the air was heatless, and annoying. On days like this, I’d usually stay inside, reading papers or sleeping. People around me would hold hands and run into the fields. It was stupid, you’d die eventually, why bother struggling for happiness when you’re doomed anyway?

 

But what do you do when you don’t die?

 

I took another deep breath and shuffled my feet, I needed to start moving sometime.

 

Then again. My feet stopped scraping grass. What’s the hurry? Nobody’s waiting for me at home, I’m not going anywhere…

 

I took a few lazy steps towards the boulder I once plotted on smacking my head with, planted Fuuenken in the cool grass and sat myself on said boulder. The echo of the airship died as it floated over the city. I pulled my headband off and rubbed my forehead.

 

Rolling off the rock, I laid on my back at stared at the miserable sky. The moon stared at me, just as miserable.

 

Fredrick, Can I ask you for a favor?

The human in me let loose an imaginary breath.

Could you… restore the… some of the files?

… Why?

It’s gotten boring without them…

But… the nightmares, Sol?

 

I sighed. The silence around me almost making my ears explode.

 

There is nobody for me to wake. No one cares.

You’ll delete them eventually.

Maybe, when a certain memory flows up. 

Are you sure?

Yeah, lets do this.

 

I clutched my headband tightly, white liquid swam in my head, Hot and cold and painful.

 

“Fredrick! That’s for charity!”

“Honey, We should talk…”

“Oh, God, I swear I’ll never have babies again!”

“Fred… Fredrick… Where is… she?”

“Honey, you look tired, you want me to drive?”

 

No, not that… Stop it!  I sat up, gasping for air, my eyes wide with horror of the un-restored memory. “Stop it, I don’t want this anymore.”

I cant stop this, Sol, Please just let me…

 

Another mental lurch pulled me to the ground in a heavy wave, like there was a heavy metallic plate pressing down on my chest.

 

“Honey, calm down, we need to make sure before we do anything rash.”

“It’s a beautiful baby girl!”

“She has your eyes…”

 

A little girl ran through the fields, arms spread like a butterfly, bathing in the warm summer breeze. The moon above us and the grass beneath us. She tripped on her own feet and met the grass face first. She sat up and turned around, her big eyes glistening in unshed tears. She nodded to something I was saying, the world was silent. Her brown eyes laughed before her mouth did, and she started running back, laughing like the carefree child that she was.

She tripped again.

 

The heavy weight on my chest rose.

 

“I love you daddy.” She smiled, her soft brown hair tickling my nose from where she was balanced on my hip- she had bruised her knee again, our noses barely touched.

“I love you too, my baby.”

Her pretty small nose crinkled with cuteness and displeasure. “I’m not a baby!” she put up three fingers with effort. “I’m gonna be four!”

A smile stretched my face. “Wow, did you tell momey about this?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Aha! She said she make me cake for my buuthday!”

I grinned at her. “And what do you wish for, on this ‘buuthday?”

She swung her legs. “I want you to be home.”

My smile never faltered. “I will.” I caught the sad look on her pretty face, and ached to remove it. Right then, a shooting star dove into the starry sky. “Look Anabelle, A shooting star!”

She looked up, curiosity and excitement in her eyes. “Where!”

“Hurry, Make a wish!”

“Wish?” she looked at me with confusion.

“Just make a wish!” I’d probably forgotten to enlighten her on a certain fairy tale.

She looked up at the fading star. “!!! Umm, I wish to have a pony!” she shook her tiny hands in the air.

“You’re not supposed to say that out loud!” I laughed at her horrified expression and kissed her small nose. “It’s okay, baby, some day you’ll have your pony!”

 

 

A tear slid down my face, falling unseen, onto the grass below.

Fuuenken hummed.

 

End of chapter twenty six.

A/N: I promise the cliff hanger was not placed there on purpose!