Chapter Twenty Four:

 

#Millia:

 

I was floating in darkness. Breathing slowly. There was no pain, no blood. Only me.

Light increased to the side and I rolled my head slowly to look at it.

 

Mommy was smiling, reaching out to hold my hand. I reached out and kicked with my legs in the dark stillness. Our hands touched, a weightless, heatless connection.

“Mom.” I whispered, there was no sound.

She put her finger on her lips and smiled. She held my hand and floated upwards. I went along willingly with her, the surface above us lightened in pleasant colors. I don’t know what the colors were, but they made my heart beat in excitement.

 

She swam with me to the surface, no struggle, to breath. There was no shock as we broke to the surface, we simply floated to the emptiness beyond. Fluffy snow touched my cheeks and I smiled. It was not cold. I looked at her and she smiled.

 

The clouds parted and I saw our green field. It was wide and green, I loved playing in the Cotton field.

 

I touched the tip of the still-young flower and smiled. Snow continued to fall, touching my cheeks like tiny, weightless, fluff bunnies.

 

He was there, watching me. Tension filled me to the core. I held her hand tighter and walked next to her. Suddenly, without hesitation, I ran over to him, hugged his leg and smiled up at him.

His eyes were cold as steel.

 

I was drowning, my lungs burned. He shook me away and glared at me.

“Get lost.”

 

Get lost…

 

Get lost.    

 

The echo continued to ring in my head even when I opened my eyes and sat up, gasping for air in the suffocating world.

“Millia chan.” I brushed my hair away and glanced over to the side where I was met with gentle red eyes. “Here, drink this.”

I panted and took the glass from her and drank the cool liquid. Water ran down my chin in my haste.

 

Lori.

 

The liquid on my chin suddenly became salty.

“Millia chan, please don’t cry.” A hand touched mine.

“Please, Leave me alone.” I covered my face as best I can, it was only then that I realized my right arm was wrapped in a hard mold. 

“Un… Do you want to see Sol-San?”

I shook my head, trying hard to stop the tears.

“But he was so worried about you.”

“Please.” I begged quietly. Just leave me alone.

 

There was the heavy metallic creak of the door and the quiet click of it closing.

 

I tried to be as quiet as possible.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It seemed like a whole decade until I couldn’t find it in me to cry any more. If the walls were not sound-proof, then I just know the whole occupants of the house heard me.

House?

I lifted my head from the soaked pillow and rolled over to my back, feeling wasted. 

 

This is the Mayship, isn’t it? I remember staying here for a week not long ago… God, I’ve missed Sol so much.

 

I recognized the ceiling as the guest-room’s. it had graffiti and air-paints all over it. Signatures, drawings and poems covered the whole canvas, I could barely make out the original color of the wall. I guess this is also considered a ‘grounding’ room, seeing as the place only had a bed and little means of entertainment.

 

I realized it was Johnny that had more than his share in being locked up. His signatures and love poems filled the ceiling.

 

Wonder how he got there…

 

There was shuffling of feet in front of the door and I hastily turned the bedside lamp off, the Room engulfed in darkness. The door creaked open, and I feigned sleep. I didn’t want to speak with anybody right now so I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

“Rage.” Is it me or was there somebody whispering my name? “Rage, You awake?”

I continued to ‘sleep’.

I heard the shuffling of his feet and the door closing. I almost let go of my breath, thinking that he had left, but he surprised me when he sat over the edge of the bed.

“You asleep?”

Yes.

He sighed and, in the darkness, all I could see was his outline, barely visible. “What the hell were you thinking, leaving like that?” his voice was quiet, not like how I imagined he’d scold me. “Damn, been a hassle just to get to where you were, let alone get in there.” I closed my eyes instantly, he was flicking a lighter. “And why the hell are you covered in blood? Doc says it isn’t yours, so who the hell did you kill?” I know he was just making Idle conversation -which was like Rain in a desert, and in which made me feel the care he held for me.

It was just so hard to keep the tears inside, I had killed her, and I’ll have to tell him and he’d hate me just like everybody else.

“Te Te te…” his hand touched mine, which was clutching the blanket in a death-grip. “You’ve done enough crying, get up.”

I fought the urge to hold his hand, I had to keep quiet until he left. 

“Get up, Rage.” Tears rolled down my face when I sat up and held his hand. “Who was it?”

I exploded in a loud sob and pressed my forehead to an angular part of him, probably a shoulder. Tears fell off my cheeks and dissolved into nothingness in the dark.

“Who was it?” he pushed me away and when I looked up at him in the dark, his warm blue eyes were the only thing visible. Or so it felt. “The girl who took you-”

I nodded my head and sobbed again, His hand was much bigger than mine, and I instantly missed the connection when he slid it away.

“She dropped you off the stairs you know.” I heard his footsteps before the lights were on again.

My eyes were filled with white glow that made them ache. “Hm?” I brushed away the tears and looked at his shoes, the only part of him that didn’t make my eyes hurt.

 

I guess I over-cried myself, if that was even possible.

 

“Keep your eyes shut if they hurt.” I complied, it helped a lot. However, I opened them again when his weight behind me made the mattress shift. “Lets see this.”

His hands touched the hem of my shirt and a wave of cold air brushed my skin. What the hell is he doing? “Hey!”      

“Just let me…” His breath was on my neck, a shiver ran down my spine. My cheeks burned when the shirt rode higher above my shoulder blades, Seeing that I wasn’t wearing a bra made the matter worst. “Damn…” It was a quiet whisper, but that only confirmed that I was in bad shape.

 

I Suddenly felt dead on the inside…

 

“This’ll take years to heal… If ever.” The shirt slid down against my back, warmth and safety with it. “You’ll survive.” His weight lifted away from the mattress and the room suddenly became cold. “Did you know you had a tattoo on your hip?”

I mentally cringed, pain forgotten. “It’s on the back.”

“Hip, Ass, who cares.” I opened my aching eyes just enough to see his emotionless face. If I had caught him smirking I’d show him the difference between ass and hip…

 

Replacement.

 

“Do you happen to know… What it says?” There was a gleam in his eyes. If I didn’t know Sol I’d say he was being mischievous.

“Would you care to ‘enlighten’ me?” I frowned and hung my head, my eyes hurt too much.

“Love me…” his voice carried an air of controlled-excitement. “Who’d you get that for?” there was the hiss of the cigarette being stubbed before the shuffling of his shoes. “Never mind, I’ll be right outside if-”

“Torture.” I voiced quietly, remembering every single minute of it.

The shuffling of feet stopped.

 

“I had it because I… I had to choose, between this or…” I took a deep breath. “Or the General’s … ‘Date’.” It had all gone terribly wrong.

“Don’t tell me.” His voice was monotone. “I don’t need to know.”

“I’ve had to go through both anyway, you know how terrible it was?” I looked up at him, frankly, I couldn’t shed any more moisture. “To have your… Back shown in public for the carving and then sent to the General’s chamber right afterwards?” He was staring at the bed sheets. “Do you know what Generals ‘Do’ to ‘Females’ like me?”

He calmly looked up at me, his eyes cold blue. “Why.”

It took me a moment to understand the simple question. “Because I failed to… assassinate. A certain… Target…” I hung my head again, it hurt so much… “It was just a nine-year old! How could I, Sol? How did they want me to?” He was staring at his shoes, his eyes hidden beneath the red head band.

 

“What would you chose, if you were me?” my throat ached.

“I’m not you.” His emotionless face met mine before he turned to the door.

“Do you hate me?” Of course you do, I’m dirty, tainted, a murderer. I’m broken and in shambles and I look hideous even in bed… Zato once said the same thing one night when he was drunk, Nobody would ever like me, let alone love me. I’m a poor excuse for a human. You hate me… Don’t you…

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#Sol:

 

“Do you hate me?” Her chin fell on her chest, cheeks red and face pale. She’s in a terrible state. She’s probably starving seeing that she’d been asleep throughout the past two days.

 

I don’t hate you, but you need more time. You need your space or you’ll blow, I know, I’ve been through it.

 

Back when I ‘died’.

 

“Why do women have to ask that?” I regretted saying it when a quiet sob shook her shoulders. “Che.” I’m not good at this, let the international womanizer handle this. “I’m leaving, need anything?”

“No.”

A ‘thank you’ would have been Characteristic, Geez she must really feel like crap if she’s forgetting her manners. I’m just glad she didn’t ask how my leg healed so fast.

 

Damn.

 

I Hauled the door open and frowned at the two bodies that fell at my feet. “What is this.”

“Ano!” An Albino rubbed his sleeve on my shoe. “Mito San, Shall we run for our lives?”

The other body fixed it’s glasses and grinned. “Y-yes, We shall.” They both grinned stupidly at me before each went on his way, leaving imaginary dust in their wake. I closed the door quietly and carefully picked up Fuuenken from where it was perched in a corner. “It’s hunting time.”

 

~

I rounded a corner and almost hit the person that was leaning on the wall. “Sol! I see you are a cannibal again!” He motioned to the silver hair in my right hand. The owner of said hair whined. “Heh! That’s what you get for eavesdropping!”

“How’d you know?” I corked a brow. I traced your scent near the door, Love boy, I just need you framed properly. “You weren’t listening with them, were you?”

“Eh!” The blonde Pirate’s brows arched above his dark glasses. “C’mon, I know that the door’s sound proof!”

“Is it.” I dropped the crying drug store from my hand and popped my neck. “I suddenly remembered a shadow running towards a corner.”

His forehead shone in beads of sweat. “Come on, Man! I’m the host here! Be a good guest and don’t kill me!”

 

I shrugged and walked past. “I’d spare you, if you told me where my pry is.”

He grinned, an annoyingly happy grin. “Playing dress-up with you-know-who.”

 

I pushed the headband a bit off my brows and fought the urge to groan. “Mito-Guy…”

“With Dizzy-San. Yes.”

“Dress up.” I repeated.

“Yeah dress up, Man. Make up, ribbons and girls!” he stretched his arms in the air. “What the hell am I still doing here?” He started towards a certain pink door. I sighed and about-faced.

 

This is not my life. It is not me in here. Damn if we are still in mid air.

 

What the Hell am I missing?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

If I told you how many shades of red a certain Japanese man can posses, you’d be surprised. So there he was, THE Extinct dude, in the flesh, having dinner with pink ribbons in his hair.

“Mito San! Please stop pulling at the ribbons! They’d fall off!” Little Dizzy kept fixing them for him, poor little thing didn’t get it. He hates them.

“You know Mhitho.” Johnny spat pasta all around. “If ohnly you’dh grow uph shome Boobs.” He swallowed, sparing me the cleanup. “I gotta admit, you’d make a fine young lady!”

Mito’s face met the plate in utter humiliation. Good for him.

 

I picked up my plate and fork and set towards the kitchen’s door.

 

“Nee, Sol can’t keep away from his girlfriend~!” The albino -who had more bruises on his face than a mashed potato, grinned. “Going to ‘share’ your little meal?”

“Chipp!” The whole table glared at the drug dealer.

 

I sighed and voiced quietly. “I eat alone.”

The room fell silent.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I rubbed my forehead and sat up. I’ve been tossing and turning on this damn uncomfortable couch all night. And there is that lump that kept digging into my spine.

Che, better off than sharing a room with a drug dealer and a man with pink ribbons in his hair. The damn dancer can’t even win a bet.

 

Is she still sleeping?

 

I sat up and accidentally tipped the empty plate. She’s probably Hungry.

 

“Daddy, I’m hungry…”

“Huh? Hungry?” tension. “Mommy isn’t here tonight… How about we order something instead?” 

“Ahah… Can I have some Ice cream?” Innocence.

“Hmm… I don’t think they deliver Ice cream, why don’t we order Pizza with that, then?” Persuasion.

“Okay!” Satisfaction.

                        

Damn it. I sat up and hummed a random tune. Anything to get my mind off… whatever it is… Che. 

 

There was a foiled plate on the rack. Maybe I could give it to her?

What if she doesn’t care anymore? Maybe she wanted to get away from me, that’s probably the reason she went back in there… But I’ll be damned if I let them touch a hair of her.

She’s mine.

 

Bounty…

 

I sighed and fished my cigarette pack from the back pocket. Damn, empty… Its been only three days in here, I cant believe we still haven’t landed yet. What is keeping them so long? Even my secret, spare cigarette is gone now.

 

I reached her room and seriously started to consider how bad this’ll look on my record. I’d be called ‘softie’ and other mushy, stupid names. But Damn, she hasn’t eaten anything in two, no wait, three days…

 

I sighed and opened the door, The lights were off so I turned them on and closed the door. “Rage, wake up.”

She stirred beneath the sheets and rolled her head. “Hnn… Sol?” she sounded like she’d been screaming for two hours straight.

I sat the plate in her lap when she sat up, she looked at it like one would look at a dead thing. “Eat.” You look like crap, you are too pale.

“I’m, not hungry.” She shook her head and leaned back on the wooden head board.

“You don’t have to be.” I twisted the fork into the pasta and thrust it into her face. “You’re starving.”

“I’m. Not. Hungry.” She glared at the fork. “Leave me alone.”

I sighed quietly and sat down over the edge of the bed, she’ll eat this forkful if it was the last thing she does. “Too bad, Eat it.”

 

She peeked up at me through a curtain of unkempt blond hair. “Why?”

Because you’re hungry, because you wouldn’t eat otherwise, because you’d die if you don’t eat now, because I cant find it in me to put the fork down… too many reasons, such a bothersome situation. “Because I say so.” I pushed the fork so that it touched her lips.

 

She glared at me, her eyes rimmed in red, and hesitantly took a small bite. “There, happy. Leave me alone.”

I glared down at her and put the plate on the nightstand. “Anything else?”

“Who’s paying you?” our eyes met.

“What?”

She shivered and hugged herself. “You don’t do… this. Who’s paying you to do it?” she brushed back a stray strand of limp hair and cleared her sore throat. “Its evil.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Nobody is paying me anything…” Gees, was I usually that rude with her?

What the hell happened to me? I used to think these things were stupid.

I still do.

Then why the hell am I here? Trying to convince her that I’m a noble gentleman?

Che…

 

“Whatever.” I sat up and started to leave.

“I hate you.”

 

Even if I felt the beast in my chest stir, I didn’t show it. “Fine.” Hate me. I’m better off on my own, like I used to be.

“How could you just let me go?” if possible, her eyes brimmed with tears. Aw damn, now what have I done… “Weren’t you supposed to stop her or something?”

I sighed and shifted my weight. “What's all this about… ?”

“Lori… She, she was taking me back to the guild…” she glared up at me.

I frowned and shoved my hand in my pocket. “I almost split her head apart when she dragged you to the stairs, where she dropped you. Isn’t that enough?” I sighed and bit the inside of my cheek. “If her car wasn’t waiting I would have followed. Wasn’t that enough?”

“And you let her?!”

 

Now I’m officially confused, first she wants to leave me and go live with the Jelly fish pirates, then she decided that she wanted to go back to the guild, and now she’s blaming me for not stopping her from doing either? What the hell?

 

“Wasn’t it you who decided to go? Why is it my business to stop you?” I frowned and wished for a cigarette.

“You actually think I’d go back there?” she clutched the bed sheets and her voice tightened.

“I don’t even know you.” Stop imagining things that aren’t there, we are too far away to be even friends.

 

She hung her head. “You’re right… My mistake, my fault, I’m to blame… Fine. Leave me alone.” She pulled the bed sheets above her head.

I sighed and scowled, pissed. “I’ll send your clothes when we land.” I started to leave. Damnit if your hormones were playing teeter-tooter then its none of my business.  

 

I don’t know why I stood in the door way, watching her, But I did. Why did it end up this way? What happens when I try to be nice? This. See, Fredrick, this is the person I became. Do not ask me to like another person anymore, this is always the end.

 

200 years on earth taught me that…

 

I’m bond to be a loner.

 

“Sol?” I clenched my jaws and started to exit quietly. “Could you come here, for a minute?”

“Why.” Just a little bit more, you’ll be out of here.

“Just… Please.” I tried to be a nobleman, and answer her plea, but I couldn’t.

“No.” the door was almost shut behind me.

“I think I’m bleeding…”

 

The door shut behind me.

 

I sat over the edge of the bed and looked at her back. I cant let her bleed to death, can I?

 

I’m becoming more pathetic by the moment…         

 

I touched her shirt and was met with warm dampness. She was shaking. “I can’t feel anymore… Its just so cold…”

I pulled her shoulders to me and slid my hands under her shirt. She wriggled. “Hold on.” She gasped at the simple pressure of my fingertips on the thin blue line running diagonally from her shoulder blade to her hip. The fall off the stairs looked as nasty as it was, But why was it bleeding? The skin wasn’t broken.

 

I ran my fingers upwards, trying to ignore the hair that tickled my chin, she had her forehead on my shoulder. I realized later that the blood had been running down from her hair, not her body.

 

Damn, if one walked in on us now, there would be no escaping the humiliation.

 

“Do you like me?” she lifted her head up, her eyes were misted in what seemed to be pain. Her nose almost touching mine.

“You hate me.” Why is blood running down her hair? Is it bleeding? Is it her? Is it the victim’s? “Remember.”

She shrugged. “No, Not really.” Her forehead touched my shoulder again, the side of her head touched my neck.  

 

Damn, she’s fevered…

 

“You don’t remember?” I stopped moving my hand in her hair.

She shook her head, her hair tickling my chin. “I don’t know… Its so cold…”

But you’re sweating half your body weight…”I know, I’ll take care of you.” I slid my hands from under her shirt and leaned on the head board. Damn, somebody will walk in on us, I just know it… she sighed and hugged me. Damn… I pulled the bed sheets over us and brushed back her hair.

 

Damn if I like this, damn if the thing in my chest was making cartwheels and damn if I can’t find it in me to leave her.

 

Two hundred years, Fredrick, two hundred years and this is what I’ve become?

Che…

 

She was already asleep. I barely felt her weight, she probably needs more meat on her bones.

 

I glanced at the untouched plate on the nightstand, and then back at the blonde hair beneath my chin. She’s asleep, almost too soon…

Her breathing was quick and deep, definitely fever.

 

”You think she’ll be okay?”

”Yeah, its just fever, she’ll get better.”

”Or worse?”

”She’s just five years old! Don’t be so pessimistic.”

 

I sighed and shook my head, What are the similarities between a five year old girl and a thirty year old girl?

 

I cared for them both?

 

Damn…

 

End of chapter twenty four.