~~~~~

"Why must you be so insufferable?" Leia cried in fury. She was referring to none other than Han Solo himself. It was two days into their slow trek to Bespin, and they were already at each others' throats. She could no longer remember what had started this particular sparring match; all she could think about was winning it. She wondered distantly if they wouldn't literally drive each other insane.

Suddenly, Han pinned her against the wall. "Cut the crap, princess," he growled, his eyes menacing.

Leia's breath caught in her throat, her eyes were wide with shock, and she was suddenly speechless. She had never seen this side of him before, and she wasn't sure what to think.

"What--got nothing to say?" Han inquired, still fuming. He was getting sick of her games. He wanted her to open up to him.

His intensity, as well as her own reaction to him, frightened her. She responded the only way she knew how. "W-what are you doing?" she stammered angrily. "Let me go!"

"Darn," he said sarcastically. "I spoke too soon."

"This isn't funny!" she fumed, pushing against him.

"Not nice," he said and held her arms above her head with one hand. The other caressed her cheek as he leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "Who's joking, sweetheart?"Leia's senses were reeling. He had managed to go from menacing to loving in no time flat. Wait. Loving? No way; it had to be an act. Oh, but the touch of his hand on her cheek was so gentle, so comforting.... And his breath against her ear...whoa! This wasn't right at all. She forced herself to struggle against him. "Please stop," she said, her voice suddenly husky, and very, very small.

"Why?" he asked, his voice soft. "Why are you hiding, Leia?"Tears sprang to her eyes. She was hiding, wasn't she? Oh, how she wanted to give in.... But, she couldn't. She just couldn't. Even with this knowledge, a sigh escaped. It was a sigh that betrayed her emotions.

Han noticed this, and gently stroked a lock of stray hair away from her face. "Please let me in, sweetheart," he whispered, kissing her forehead, releasing her arms. When she didn't object, or move away from him, he pressed his lips against her ear, then darted his tongue inside. Hearing her involuntary gasp, he smiled inwardly. She definitely wanted him. But, why couldn't she admit it? Why couldn't she trust him?

Leia was going to lose it. She was so easily overcome by him. Why couldn't he just let it be? He was going to leave anyway. Why was he so insistent on starting something they could never finish? She knew she had to stop him, even as she responded to each kiss he delivered. "Han, I--"

"Leia," he cut her off quietly. "Why can't you trust me?"

Taken aback, her words died on her lips. "What?"

He backed off a little, then led her to a chair which he then knelt in front of. "Why can't you trust me?" he repeated.

Deciding that denial had been getting her absolutely nowhere, she answered him. "It's a lot of things," she started, then paused. She was about to pour her heart out to this man; a man who wouldn't be around much longer.

"Like what?" he prompted, holding her hand.

Maybe she wasn't ready to pour her heart out completely, but he did deserve an answer. "How can I trust you when you're going to leave?" she blurted honestly.

Han sighed, cursing silently. 'Well, what did you expect, jerk?' he thought. "Sweetheart, I have to leave; you know that," he attempted.

"Of course I know that," she responded, a little frustrated. "That's why I don't understand why you insist on starting we can't finish."

Well, he did say he didn't want any more games between them. That meant he had to be honest as well. "It's because I love you, Leia," he whispered, looking into her eyes.

Rendered momentarily speechless with shock, she stared at him dumbly. Then, shaking it off, she pleaded, "Don't say that...."

"Why not?" he ventured further. "It's true. I love you, Leia." With his heart on his sleeve, he could only hope that she would respond in kind. When she didn't answer right away, he raised a hand to cradle her cheek in his palm. "You are afraid, aren't you?" he inquired, soft wonder in his voice.

Tears gathered in her eyes again; it was true. She was too scared to commit to him, to anyone after Alderaan. "I can't," she whispered, trying to turn away from him, but he wouldn't allow it.

"Tell me why you can't," he pressed. She was such a mystery to him.

"I don't want to lose you, too, okay?" she exclaimed finally, and her voice caught on a sob. There. It was out. Was he happy now?

Caught by surprise at this new display of emotion, he drew her into a tentative embrace. What could he say to that? He had gotten the answer he wanted. "Hey," he attempted. "Don't cry sweetheart; I'm sorry.... It's okay...sh-h-h-h...." Even as her sorrow tore at his heart, he was glad to find a human being--a woman--under all of those masks she wore. He had known all along she was in there somewhere. "Please don't cry...."

"W-why not?" she countered, her voice muffled against his shoulder. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Han pulled back a little to look at her. "You know that's not true," he said sternly. "I want you to open up so I can help you. I don't want you to be alone anymore.

"Or at least until we get to Bespin," she muttered sourly.

Sighing in frustration, he grasped her shoulders. "I don't want to leave," he explained somewhat calmly. "I have to, to save you if nothing else. If Jabba were to find out about us, he would come after you too. I can't let that happen. When my debt is paid, I will come back for you. If I can."

"If you can?" she inquired incredulously.

"If he doesn't kill me," he responded without missing a beat. "There's already a price on my head; I've waited too long already. With any luck, he will let me go after I pay him."

Hearing the word kill, she stiffened in his embrace. Then, she wrapped her arms about him. "If it's that dangerous, don't go."

"It is that dangerous, so I have to go," he said, rubbing his cheek against her hair. "It would never work out with Jabba constantly searching for me."

She wanted to argue, but she knew it was true. They were both such high profiles now; it would not be very hard for the crime lord to track him down. "You're right," she sighed.

"I know," he said with a small grin.

She punched him not-quite-playfully in the stomach. "Cut it out," she warned him.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed. "Watch it, will ya? I'm fragile."

She looked up at him, unable to keep a smile off her face. "You will be when I'm through with you," she warned, shaking a fist at him.

His eyes widened in mock-fear. "Is that a threat, Your Highnessness?" he gasped, opting to stay away from sexual comments for fear of losing the good mood. When was the last time he saw her smile anyway?

"Oh, it's a promise," she murmured, then tackled him to the floor.

"Ah!" he cried, taking a moment to feign helplessness. Then, unable to resist the opportunity, he pinned her down and began to tickle her.

"No!" she exclaimed breathlessly around her laughter, squirming in his arms. "Han, don't! I'm terribly ticklish--"

"So I noticed," he chuckled as he continued his playful assault. "Stop," she gasped, laughing so hard that her sides hurt. "Stop!"

"As you wish," he consented. deciding she had endured enough.

Opening her eyes--and trying to catch her breath--she suddenly noticed his proximity. From here she could determine the color of his eyes, something she had frequently pondered over. They were hazel, with swirls of gold that seemed to shift as he laughed. They were absolutely intoxicating. Seeming by their own will, her hands reached up and pulled his head toward hers. Then she kissed him. Surprised but delighted, he kissed her back, his mouth lovingly searching hers. For what seemed like ages, they remained like that, until the need for air forced them apart.

"I've got a promise for you, sweetheart," Han whispered, not quite ready to end the moment.

"What?" she inquired breathlessly, still lost in his eyes.

He leaned in close to her ear. "I love you," he told her, wrapping his arms around her once more. "And I promise you I always will. No matter what happens, I love you, baby."

She smiled a little. "Baby?" she inquired.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't like it?"

Her smile grew. "I like it," she admitted, then added, "Scoundrel."

"Ooh," he crooned, nuzzling her neck. "I love it when you talk dirty."

Her smile faltered at that. "Han?" she said worriedly. "Can we talk about something?" She knew of his casual lifestyle, and hers was the exact opposite. Even with Alderaan gone, she did not want to give up her culture.

"Now you want to talk?" he joked with a little chuckle, then nibbled her ear, caressing her back.

"Oh, Han," she gasped, her mind suddenly void of rational thought.

"Hey," he murmured, soothing the spot he had bitten with his tongue. "It's alright, baby...." He felt her begin to tremble, saw the flush in her cheeks, but he also saw the wary look in her eyes. "Don't worry," he assured her in a whisper, kissing her neck again.

Leia moaned softly, loving what he was doing to her, but knowing she had to tell him right away. "W-we need to talk now," she whispered breathlessly, bringing her hands up to rest on his shoulders.

Using a great deal amount of self restraint, he obeyed her. "Okay," he consented, backing off. When they were both seated and comfortable, he inquired, "What's up, baby?" He grinned inwardly at the newfound endearment.

She took a deep breath. "Han I can't do this."

'This again?' he thought, misinterpreting her. "I thought we solved this," he said, growing frustrated.

"No, not that," she explained. "This. You know...." She gestured toward the spot on the floor they had occupied moments before.

He looked at her, confused. Then slowly, understanding dawned. "Oh, you mean...oh." A tender look crossed his face. "Are you a--?"

"Yes," she said, stopping him mid-sentence. "And, I'm sorry, but I intend to stay that way. At least for now."

"Why?" he asked softly, truly intrigued.

"It's the way I grew up," she explained, cringing at the thought of her lost home world. "And I'm not ready to let that go."

Han had heard about Alderaan's culture some time ago, but he did not realize that anyone there had still clung to such ancient ways. In Alderaanian history, it was once customary for a woman to sleep only with her husband. At one time, going against this was punishable by death. In more recent years it was more of an option than anything else, but obviously Leia's family had chosen to keep to the old custom. Of course, that didn't bother him; he would wait a lifetime for this woman. "That's fine," he assured her, taking her hand.

"It's okay with you?" she asked, squeezing his hand.

"Sure it is," he responded without hesitation. "I love you, Leia and I'll wait as long as you want to." She smiled at him, and he smiled back. "Can I still hold you?" he inquired.

"Of course," she responded.

"Good," he said, then pulled her toward him and into his lap. "What about kissing?"

Those eyes would be the death of her.... "Yes," she said in a whisper, leaning in closer to him.

"Good," he said again, more quietly, then kissed her softly, longingly. When it ended, she snuggled into him and he rested his chin atop her head, holding her protectively. "I love you, baby," he crooned to her. He felt her shiver and hold him closer, but she didn't--couldn't--answer just yet. It didn't matter; now, he understood why.

Besides, he already knew.

~~~~~

END