After entering her apartment, Leia Organa-Solo immediately sat down on the couch, her legs needing a well-deserved break. It had been a long, tiring day. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. Today was the first day she had been allowed back to work (in an office only, of course) after her rather nasty encounter with the Yuzzhan Vong. Doctors had advised against it, but that damned hospital room had been driving her crazy. So, agreeing to take it easy, she was permitted to leave. Even though she had been confined to paperwork and low-stress meetings, she had found the day to be surprisingly energy-consuming.

Han had become a little distant lately. Not like he did when Chewie died. This was different, as if shame was keeping him away. Indeed she hadn�t seen much of him at all since her condition had be stabilized some time before. Even though being without him tore at her heart, it was somehow easier this time. This time she knew he wasn�t going to leave her, for he had accepted his friend�s death and came to terms with all that he had done wrong. Now, he just needed time to forgive himself and move on. And she would have to give him that time; she loved him too much not to.

After a few minutes, Leia gathered enough energy to make her way to her and Han�s bedroom. She would never be able to sleep on that couch anyway. She sat down on the edge of their bed momentarily in order to take off her shoes. Even that small chore seemed harder; it took a lot more strength to bend and twist her legs then it should have. As she struggled, she felt tears sting her eyes. �No,� she thought furiously, forcing back the threatening waterworks. �Dammit, I�m not going to cry!�

Finally succeeding in her task, she took a determined breath, and slowly disrobed. No longer feeling like continuing with her usual bedtime routine, she dug up one of her husband�s shirts and slipped into it. It fell to her knees. She took a moment to breathe in his scent that now surrounded her, to imagine him with her. �Not a good idea,� she reprimanded herself, then made her way to the �fresher to brush her teeth.

Leia emerged a few minutes later, and was greeted by Han standing silently in the door way. Letting out a surprised gasp, she took a moment to study him. He wore his usual attire, white shirt, black pants with the red blood stripe down the side. A days growth of beard peppered the bottom half of his face, and his hair dusted over his eyes. He looked, well, scruffy.

He also looked incredibly nervous. �Han?� she inquired. �What is it?�

Han cleared his throat. �Leia--� He stopped suddenly, struggling with his emotions. Leia noticed his eyes misting over and her heart broke. Finally, he blurted out, �I�m so sorry, sweetheart.� With that, tears began streaming down his cheeks.

�Come here, Han.� She hoped her voice didn�t sound harsh; she was doing all she could to keep her own tears at bay. He stepped closer to her. She reached out and placed her hands on his upper arms, feeling his familiar strength beneath his shirt. She was silent for a short time, trying to find the right words even as she fought with the lump in her throat. But then, she lost the battle and, letting out a soft cry, she pulled him into her arms. Han responded in earnest, crushing her against him as he sobbed into her hair.

�I love you, Leia,� he told her, planting kisses in her hair. �I love you so much. I�m so sorry.�

�It�s alright,� she responded automatically, then wondered if it really was.

�No, it�s not,� he said, pulling back a little so as to look into her eyes. �It�s not alright. You deserve so much better than what I did to you. It�s unforgivable.�

Leia brought a gentle hand to his lips, quieting him. He kissed her fingers in response. �It�s not unforgivable. Unforgettable, maybe, but not unforgivable.�

Han�s heart twisted. Would she ever trust him again? He couldn�t possibly blame her if she didn�t. �Do you forgive me?�

She smiled at him. �I forgave you a long time ago.�

Relieved, he grinned. �Thank you.� He paused, then inquired further, �Can you trust me again?�

Leia hesitated, frowning. �I want to, Han,� she said slowly. �But, it will take time.� She saw the hurt in his eyes and added earnestly, �I do love you, Han. I never stopped.�

Han nodded, knowing he had to accept it. He messed up and he would have to deal with the consequences. �I love you too, sweetheart,� he vowed, pulling her to him again.

After a time, he felt her begin to tremble, to lean more heavily against him. �You alright?� he asked, worried.

�Yes,� she insisted, even though she was more or less relying on him to stand up straight. �It�s just my legs; it�s been a long day.�

Han had almost forgotten that she was still recovering. �Let�s lie down, then,� he suggested. Lifting her gently up into his arms, he went to their bed and set her down. Then, he paused, not knowing if she would want him with her. When she smiled at him and nodded, he stripped and put on a more comfortable pair of boxers. Leia, he noticed with delight, was dressed in one of his shirts. �Nice outfit, your worship,� he quipped with a wink.

Leia tugged at the shirt collar shyly. �It was the only way I could get to sleep without you,� she admitted quietly.

He frowned, climbing into bed beside her, and cradled her against himself. �I�m sorry, honey,� he whispered again into her hair.

�No more of that,� she told him mock-sternly. �No more apologies. It�s over.�

Han smirked and saluted her. �Yes ma�am, your highnessness.�

She punched him playfully in the shoulder. �You laser brain.�

He gave her a hurt look. �Ow,� he whined. �Careful, I�m fragile, remember?�

She smiled wryly, rubbing the spot that she had hit. �Incorrigible is what you are,� she countered in a whisper, her energy waning.

�Incorrigible, huh?� he responded in a tone identical to hers. �Don�t you mean gorgeous?� He leaned in closer to her and kissed her softly.

Her smile softened considerably. �Whatever gets you through the night, hotshot,� she told him, running her fingers through his hair.

He gave her a mock-leer, then laughed out loud. Overcoming his brief bout of amusement, he kissed her again. For lack of further conversation, he let this caress linger. When it ended, he moved to nuzzle her neck. He heard her sigh, and grinned against her skin, kissing her there. �I missed you, baby,� he rumbled, moving ever so slightly on top of her. He let his hands slide up her waist and to her chest.

Leia gasped, then moaned his name, loving the feel of his hands and mouth caressing her. She tugged at his hair, all rational thought suddenly leaving her.

�I�m right here, baby,� he rumbled, kissing her again, ecstatic to find that he could still drive her wild. But, as he rested his cheek against hers, he found it wet with her tears. He raised himself up to look into her eyes. �Leia?� he murmured. �You alright?� He brushed away her tears with his thumbs, awaiting her answer.

She kissed his finger as it passed over her lips. �Yes,� she answered, but wanted to say a lot more.

He raised an eyebrow at her. �But?�

�But�� she began, then paused, a little embarrassed. �Well��

�Yes?� he prompted with an encouraging smile.

She sighed, then figured the easiest way to do it would be to just blurt it out. �Honestly, Han, I don�t think I have the energy to�you know�do anything tonight.� She was shocked to find herself blushing and raised a hand to cover her face. �Go ahead,� she said, her voice muffled, �laugh at me.�

�Hey,� he whispered, his voice more gentle than amused. He took her hand away from her face, kissed her palm. �I�m not laughing at you, Leia. You�ve been through a lot. I understand if you�re tired.� He smiled. �Why do you think I�m wearing clothes?�

She had to laugh at that; Han had never been one to favor sleeping attire of any kind. Her mirth was quickly overcome by her weariness, however and she yawned.

�Let�s sleep,� he suggested in a whisper. �We can catch up tomorrow.�

�Giving me something to look forward to?� Leia inquired jokingly, her eyes already closed.

He kissed her eyelids gently, caressing her back. �Nah�. You know I�m just a tease.�

She smiled. �You scoundrel,� she accused on a dreamy sigh, snuggling closer to him.

Han chucked softly, helping her find a comfortable spot on his shoulder to rest her head. �G�night, love,� he murmured, kissing her forehead. He heard her drowsy response and smiled again. �I love you, my kai�alla,� he sighed contentedly, although he knew she was already asleep.

***

Leia awoke suddenly the next morning, fear gripping her heart. Han�. Han had come to her last night. But, like so many nights before, it had always turned out to be a dream. �Please, no,� she thought desperately, afraid to move, afraid to find that her mind had been playing tricks on her again. Or what if he really did show up, but went out to the bar again? Oh, what if he�d left her again? �I don�t think I could take it.�

After a couple of minutes, she forced herself to turn over, desperate to assure herself that Han was really with her.

She found only air.

�No, no,� she moaned, her terror making her feel physically sick. She rushed out of the room, searching for him. �Han?� she called frantically. �Han!�

She rounded the corner to the kitchen and found him at the counter, chopping up a piece of fruit. �Han,� she said once more, tears filling her eyes and flooding her cheeks.

Han turned to her with a grin. �Mornin� sweet--� He stopped suddenly at the expression on her face. She was crying, her arms wrapped tightly about herself. �Leia?� he asked worriedly, rushing toward her. �Honey, what�s wrong?� He held her at arms length, looking her over.

�I thought--� she stopped, her voice momentarily lost on a sob. �I-I couldn�t find you. I thought you�d left me.�

�Oh, Leia, no,� he murmured, pulling her tightly against himself, both guilt and grief constricting his throat. She was trembling horribly so he lifted her into his arms and sat down at the table, his wife cradled in his lap. �I will never leave you again; please believe me.�

Leia�s arms stole around his chest, holding on tightly, as if to keep him from vanishing. �Han, Han,� she whispered through her tears, relieved and tortured at the same time. �Oh, Han.�

�Sh-h-h,� he comforted, stroking her hair. �I�m right here, baby. I�ve got you.�

She couldn�t stop crying, she realized suddenly. Everything that had happened just came rushing back to her, and it was too much for even her strong fa�ade to hold back. �I c-can�t stop,� she told him, a little panicked.

�It�s alright,� he assured her, the lump in his throat making it harder and harder to speak. �Just cry then, Leia. I�ve got you.� Her front had finally been let down, he realized, whether by her own will or the sheer force of the burden, he was not sure. Either way, she was letting it all out now and he would be right with her, to hold her and love her, through the storm. He really didn�t deserve her.

***

Some time later, Han was seated on the family room couch (the comfortable one), his wife�s head cradled in his lap. Her bout of crying earlier had drained her of energy and she had fallen asleep about an hour before. Not wanting her to wake up alone twice in one day, he had stored their breakfast, then situated himself beside her. He didn�t mind the quiet at all; in fact, he had dreamt of spending a morning like this for quite some time. Of course, it was never more than a fantasy until now due to his wife�s previously demanding work schedule.

Han sighed contentedly as he stroked Leia�s hair. It was shorter that his, but he didn�t mind. She was alive and well and with him; he couldn�t ask for anything more. Hoping and praying that she wouldn�t hurt him too badly, he took the liberty of calling her out of work for the day. In the old days he would not have tried this because she would have had his head (certainly not in the way he wished it). But, somehow he knew she wouldn�t mind now.

Leia interrupted his thoughts with a soft, indecipherable murmur. �Sh-h-h�� he whispered to her, caressing her cheek. �It�s alright, sweetheart.�

�Han?� she mumbled sleepily, her eyes still closed.

�That�s right,� he answered softly, a crooked grin lighting up his face. She was so cute like this. �I�m right here.�

�Hmm,� she sighed, opening her eyes. Upon seeing her husband, she smiled. �Hi,� she offered sweetly.

�Hi yourself,� he rumbled back. �This is how you should have woken up the first time. I love you.�

She smirked playfully. �I know.�

�Very funny, your worship,� he said in mock-exasperation.

Leia looked smug as she sat up. �I thought so too,� she said on a laugh, pulling him into a hug. Han gave her a hurt look, complete with the puppy dog eyes, and she couldn�t resist. �Oh, fine,� she mumbled, running her fingers through his hair. �I love you too, nerf-herder. Happy now?�

He grinned at her again. �Almost,� he murmured, then brought her lips to his in a deep kiss. When they parted, the amusement had left her eyes, replaced with warm passion. �Now,� he rumbled, �I�m happy.�

�I�m not,� she breathed, planting little kisses all over his face. �You�d better be ready to finish what you started flyboy.�

Han raised an eyebrow at her. �All rested up, princess?� he asked, both amused and seriously turned on.

�You bet,� she answered without pause. And she wasn�t joking. She lowered a hand to his hip, dangerously close to his manhood. �Are you?� She eyed him mischievously.

�You bet,� he managed. Then, lifting her up in his arms, he strode off into their bedroom.

***

As Han leaned over her, his arms supporting most of his weight, tears suddenly sprung to her eyes and a painful lump was slowly but surely forcing its way up her throat. The realization of her intense emotional and physical need for him hit her so swiftly, so powerfully that she could not stop the tears as they slowly trickled down her cheeks.

He froze at the sight of her crying. �Leia,� he whispered worriedly, wiping a few tears away with gentle fingers. �What�s wrong?�

There were no words, Leia realized, to adequately describe what she was feeling. �I love you,� she told him simply, earnestly, and that would have to be enough.

As his eyes misted over, it was clear to her that he did indeed understand. �I love you too, kai�alla,� he responded in kind. Kai�alla was an endearment he reserved only for when they made love. It was Corellian for sweetheart, for lover. He kissed her then, lovingly, longingly and very, very softly. The amount of affection that he sent to her in that caress was so great that she lost the battle with the lump in her throat and it all but burst from her. He captured her quiet sob with his mouth, but with each gasping cry she emitted, her body shook in time, and she could not hold the kiss. He wrapped his arms about her and leaned in close to her ear, whispering to her in soothing tones, hoping to calm her. �Sh-h-h, Leia�. Kai�alla�sh-h-h, I�ve got you�sh-h-h�.� Even as he comforted her, tears were rolling down his own cheeks, landing to rest in her hair and on the pillow.

Leia clung to him tightly, feeling as though she would never get close enough to him. �Jor�ria endt�amund surro,� she whispered back to him around her weeping, countering his Corellian endearment will some Alderaanian sayings of her own. She suddenly noticed his crying and caressed his face with the backs of her fingers. �Oh, Han,� she breathed, his display of emotion doing little to ease her own tears.

Han grinned sheepishly at her. �At this rate we�ll never get down to business,� he joked in an attempt to cover up his embarassement.

She laughed in spite of herself, but could think of nothing to say except, �you nerf-herder.�

He chuckled. �There�s that smile,� he murmured adoringly, kissing her again. �Kai�alla,� he said again in a low growl as he nuzzled her neck. He moved his hips against hers and she gasped, clutching at his hair in response. He licked the side of her neck and she shuddered in his arms. He looked up at her then, his eyes dark, hungry and full of passion. �My kai�alla,� he rumbled, his hands resting possessively upon her chest, caressing her there.

�Please,� she managed breathlessly, her head thrown back against the pillow, needing him urgently.

�Please what?� he murmured, teasing her. He ran his tongue lightly along the shell of her ear, knowing it always made her squirm. This time was no different.

�Ah,� she gasped, her eyes closing against her will. � You�re evil,� she accused, arching against him as he fondled her breasts.

�You love it,� Han rumbled before taking her mouth with his own in a rough kiss. Leia responded hungrily, opening her mouth for him as she ran her hands down his muscled back, finger tips pressing against his skin. �Hmm,� he growled when the kiss ended, his mouth finding new purpose, nibbling a trail down the side of her neck, and lower.

�Ohh,� she moaned, her fingers again tangling themselves in his hair, encouraging him. She couldn�t take much more of this. Oh, she did indeed love it, but it had been too long, much too long for a leisurely tryst. She needed him, all of him all at once. She made a sound high in her throat, a soft declaration of despair. He lowered a hand to rest between her thighs.

�Oh, no,� she gasped, feeling herself tumble over the edge, unable to stop the sudden wave of ecstasy as it crashed over her. Unable to see, unable to hear, she clung to his shoulders, knowing he was the only one who could keep her from shattering into a million tiny pieces, or melting into a liquid puddle.

Han watched her, delighted and tortured at the same time. It was such an incredible feeling, knowing he could create such pleasure in her at the slightest touch. Of course, he had no doubt she wielded the same power; he was painfully aware of just how close he was to losing it himself.

�I love you,� he murmured to her, stroking her hair back from her brow as she spiraled down from her high.

�Hmm,� she responded, intelligible speech still beyond her grasp. After gathering her wits once more, she opened her eyes and smiled at him.

He grinned back at her, loosing himself in her liquid brown eyes. For this moment in time, all emotion, everything she felt, lay open for him to observe in their depths.

�Ahh.� While he�d been preoccupied, Leia had took the opportunity to take him by surprise, and he couldn�t hold back his cry as her hand found him, caressed him. �Uh, Leia?� he said, his voice strangled as he unconsciously arched into her hand. �I wouldn�t do that if I were you.�

�Why not?� she challenged, eyeing him coyly. She watched him as his eyelids fell shut, his expression clouding over as he almost lost himself in the pleasure she was giving him.

�No,� he all but moaned, finally taking her hand and raising it for a kiss. �Not yet,� he explained. �I want to be inside you. I need to be inside you.�

�I need you inside me,� she responded without hesitation, taking him in her hand again, this time to guide him.

�Look at me, Leia,� he commanded softly. He entered her slowly and watched her face cloud over, heard her whimper, felt her cling to him, but her eyes never wandered from his own. �Ah, Kai�alla,� he groaned, already on the edge, unsure if he could restrain himself any longer. �I don�t want to hurt you,� he rasped, the mixture of pain and pleasure all but taking his breath away.

She shook her head, having equal trouble catching her breath. �You won�t,� she assured him. She needed him just as much as he needed her. Her injury was the farthest thing from her mind at the moment. �Just�please, Han,� she begged, lifting her hips, trying to take him deeper inside of herself.

He let out a growl, took her lips with his own and let all worry drift away. He began a timeless rhythm, using what little control he had to keep his movements slow and gentle. All too soon, even that slipped away, and he sped up, moving harder and faster. Leia responded in kind, grasping tightly onto his hips, following his every movement.

�Oh�Han,� she cried out, reluctant to let go so soon, wanting to leap over the edge with him this time.

Han, on the other hand, knew he was already doing all he could to keep from falling himself. �Let go, Kai�alla,� he murmured in her ear, wrapping an arm around her, teasing her center with his other hand. �Just let go.�

So, she did, letting out a scream as sanity left her for the second time that day. And he followed right behind her, crying out her name, overcome by blinding pleasure�.

Afterward, Han remained on top of her, inside of her, reluctant to move. But, he knew, regardless of what she had said, she had to be at least a little sore, so he lifted himself back onto his arms and began to withdraw.

�No!� Leia protested, wrapping her arms around him even as little aftershocks had her trembling. �Please, not yet.�

�Okay,� he soothed, compromising by only turning on his side so as not to crush her. Still, she clung to him, her face buried in the space between his neck and his shoulder, a space where her head fit so well. �Leia?� he murmured, stroking her hair, trying to coax her to look at him. She mumbled something unintelligible. �What?�

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. �I love you,� she clarified, her voice catching.

�Oh, Leia�� he started, ready to comfort her.

�No, I�m okay,� she insisted, offering a little laugh. �I just�I missed this so much. I missed you so much.�

Han smiled at her, then brought his lips down on hers and granted her a deep, slow kiss. �You�ll never have to worry about missing me again,� he told her after the caress broke. �I�m never going to leave you. I love you and I know I was stupid. I know I don�t deserve your trust, but I hope you�ll welcome me every day with open arms.�

Now, Leia�s tears did fall, her heart swelling with admiration at his words. �I will, Han,� she told him, pulling him closer. �With open arms.�

END