Title: Not So Bad
Rating: PG-14
Description: Hours after the ceremony on Yavin, Leia begins to deal with all that she has lost and Han shows up to give her a shoulder to cry on.

Han Solo stood in a corner of the gathering hall, watching the celebration from afar. He was too tired to party. It had been a long evening for him. Actually, it had been a long day in general. He had been hired by that old guy to fly to Alderaan for 17,000 credits. It should have been simple. But, no. Nothing could ever be simple for him. As it turned out, Alderaan had been destroyed, and in it's place loomed a giant, deadly space station/super weapon. But, of course it didn't stop there. Suddenly, he was getting shot at by Imperial Stormtroopers, almost met his doom in a garbage compactor and risked his neck to help that kid, Luke blow up the damned thing. All this to save a princess and her precious rebellion. He suddenly wondered if he could get into less trouble back on Corellia. Nah, trouble always followed Han Solo; he just didn't know when to mind his own business.

'Jeez,' he thought to himself. 'You've go everyone else convinced that you're nothin' but a mercenary. Now, why can't you just act like one? Besides, big hearts and good intentions could get a guy killed in this damned universe!'

Han looked down at the medal that was still around his neck. It wasn't much, but it would be worth a few credits. But, more than monetary payment, it was the rebellion's way of thanking him for helping out. Against his better judgement, he felt kind of good that he had stuck around. 'Damn, Solo,' he thought. 'You're gettin' soft.'

The ceremony had been embarrasing, though. He had never been much for those formal occations. He had felt like a bit of a dork at first. That is, until he had set eyes on that princess, out of her hedious robes, and in that beautiful, form-fitting dress. She hadn't looked like a royal brat; she looked like a woman. A beautiful woman. 'Whoa, there buddy,' he stopped himself. 'She's just a kid too.' He realized then that he didn't even know how old she was. 'That settles it,' he told himself, unable to stop a grin from spreading across his face. 'No moves until I know she's legal.'

Speaking--or rather thinking--of the princess, he wondered where she was. He hadn't seen her since the ceremony earlier. He couldn't blame her about not attending the party; the gathering pretty much consisted of drunk pilots anyway. But, more than that, he knew she had been though a lot in a very short amount of time. Suddenly, he felt a strong urge to go to her and see if she was alright.

'Dammit, I shouldn't care,' he repremanded himself again, even as he found himself searching the room for her. Spotting the kid, seated at a table nearby, he headed over. He laughed at the expression on Luke's face; the kid was drunk out of his mind. 'Good for him,' he thought. The kid needed to learn how to relax.

"Hey, Luke," Han greeted as he seated himself.

"Hey, Han," Luke slurred with a smile.

Han laughed again. "Havin' fun, kid?" He punched Luke lightly in the shoulder, and Luke almost fell over. "Whoa there," he said. "Gotta be careful with that stuff, huh?"

Luke laughed too. "Yeah, I'll pro'ly be payin' for this in tha mornin'."

"You and every other pilot at this damned party, kid," Han responded, then sobered. "Have you seen the princess?"

Luke suddenly looked serious. Well, as serious as one could look after a few too many shots. "No. She's not at tha party?" He looked around, swaying as he did so.

"Nope," Han said. "Haven't seen her since the ceremony. Do you know where she might be?"

Luke thought about it. "In her quarters, maybe?" he offered. "She's pro'ly tired after everythin'."

Han nodded, frowning a bit. "Maybe. I'll go check it out." He stood up. "Take it easy, kid." He gave Luke another playful shove, and this time Luke did fall over. But when the kid sat up laughing, he knew he was fine. With another laugh, Han headed off toward the princess's cabin.

***

"Where is the rebel base?"

She wanted to scream, to fight, to do something, but the shock that overcame her at that moment permitted her to do nothing but stare. 'It's all my fault,' she thought, feeling as though her heart had been ripped out. 'He knew I was lying. All my fault....'

Leia suddenly awoke with a cry, bolting upright in her bed. Looking around, she remembered where she was. She was on the rebel base near Yavin. The Death Star had been destroyed only hours before, with the help of Luke and that pirate, Han. After the ceremony, she had retreated to her quarters, not wanting to socialize. She had been convinced that she would never get to sleep, but apparently, she had been far more fatigued than she had originally thought. She couldn't even remember when she had fallen asleep.

Looking down, she realized that she was still in her ceremonial gown, and her braided hair was now ruined. Even so, she didn't care. She just couldn't care anymore. Her home was gone; what was left for her? 'All my fault,' she thought, tears stinging her eyes, a painful lump in her throat. 'It's all my fault.' Laying back down, she buried her face in her pillow and sobbed.

Leia was so upset that she didn't even hear her door open. Han made his way to her bedroom, and knelt beside her. She didn't try to get up. "Princess?" he called softly, and she could feel his warm hand on her back. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Under normal circumstances, she would have had something sarcasting to say about that, but at the moment she was just to weary. She felt a shifting of weight on her bed, and suddenly he was laying beside her, cradling her in his arms. Although she probably should have told him to leave, she found his embrace too comforting to resist. "It's my fault," she found herself telling him through the rush of tears. "It's all my fault. I had a chance to save them and I couldn't."

"Hey," he murmured, lifting her chin. "It's not your fault." His eyes were sincere, his expression stern and sure, and she desperately wanted to believe him. But, she couldn't yet. Understanding this, he cradled her head against his shoulder, spoke soothingly to her. "You'll believe that when you're ready, Leia. Everything's gonna be alright." She gave him a spiteful look, and he continued. "It will. I know you can't see that now, but believe me; in time, it'll work out, okay?"

Even though she couldn't foresee this all working out, she found herself trusting him. Suddenly, it didn't matter that he was just a hired flyer, a mercenary, only in this for the money. At that moment, he was a friend, someone who cared about her, for her. That was all that mattered.

Leia continued to cry. She cried her heart out until there was nothing left. And all the while, Han was there, holding her without judgement. He let her grieve, and she was grateful to be able to just let it out. Quiet now, she was reluctant to leave his arms, so she just laid there, listening to his heartbeat.

"You're so strong," Han commented quietly after a time, wiping a few remaining tears from her face. Leia looked at him doubtfully. "You are," he insisted. "Stronger than me, anyway." He stopped there, and although she wanted to know what he meant, she didn't push him.

"Thank you," she said at last. "Thank you for being here, Han."

He looked uncomfortable for a moment, but then it vanished. "No problem, Leia." He stroked her unkemped hair. "You needed that."

Leia nodded in silent agreement, then suddenly found herself lost in his eyes. What color were they anyway? Hazel? Well, whatever color they were, she decided they were gorgeous. As was the rest of him, of course. 'I should stop right now,' a little voice told her, but she was reluctant to listen. Her eyes traveled to his crooked nose, then to that sexy scar on his chin. She found herself wondering how he had aquired it. Wondering if they could ever be more than friends. Wondering how he would feel if she kissed it.... 'Whoa, gotta stop now!'

She blushed with embarrassment and looked back up at him, realizing then that he was studying her with equal intensity. Her blush deepened, and he smiled at her. Not his usual grin; this one was softer, sexier and somehow familiar. She found herself leaning closer to him, to his lips. 'Uh oh,' that voice piped in, but she ignored it. She wanted this, needed it. After all that had happened, she didn't want to listen to reason. Han was actually caring for her after everything else had been lost, and she wanted more of that. More of him.

She was withing milimeters of his mouth now, and he seemed as eager as she, but suddenly, he pulled away. He cleared his throat nervously, seeming embarassed. "Umm, princess?" he inquired. "How old are you?"

"What?" she questioned, momentarily confused. "Oh," she said, realization dawning. He wanted to know if she was legal. Somehow, this struck her as funny, and she found herself giggling. "Don't worry; I'm eighteen."

'Okay,' Han thought to himself. 'She's legal.' But, barely. As she leaned toward him again, he found himself torn. He wanted her. Badly. But, if he slept with her now, he'd be taking advantage of her. She was little more than a child, and, under the circumstances, she was in no condition to make such a dangerous decision. At the last moment, he pulled away.

Leia watched him, confused. "What?"

"I can't, Leia," he tried to explain. "I want to, but not right now. You're grieving. I don't want you to do something that you'll regret later."

She wanted to argue. She wanted to kiss him, to tell him that this was right. But, she knew it wasn't. Deep down, she knew. In fact, she was already feeling a bit humiliated; she was usually in better control than this. "You're right," she said, blushing again. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Han shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I understand." He gave her a lopsided grin. "I'll just take a raincheck, Your Highnessness."

Leia slapped him, smiling at last. "Watch it, hotshot."

"Yes ma'am, Your Worshipfulness," he replied, anything but humble, stroking her hair again.

For lack of further conversation, she rested her head on his shoulder once more. She yawned suddenly, unable to stop herself. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she let her eyes close without resisting. As sleep loomed closer, more welcome this time, she thought, 'maybe this pirate's not so bad after all.'

When the princess finally succumbed to sleep, Han slipped out of their embrace--which, he had to admit, had been kinda nice--and pulled the covers up around her. Looking down at her, her hair a mess, her cheeks still flushed, he felt another strong urge to kiss her, to take her in his arms again...to love her. 'Whoa, buddy,' he stopped himself yet again, deciding then that it was time to get out of there before his fantasies got control of him. He slipped out of her quarters as quietly as he could and headed back toward the Falcon. 'She's not such a brat after all,' he thought to himself as he entered the hangar bay. Maybe he'd stick around for a little while.

The End