Something for u friends.... read on...

I'd received quite numerous stuff from u all and my other friends, some of those which are... should I say... have morale in it... some of it make me smile.... and laugh a hack lot... and some gives strengh and motivate me, so I put it down here and share it with u all... scroll on... may be there are some u still didn't come accross... read on....

Love is like waiting for a bus~!
When the bus come, you look at it and you say to yourself, "eeee... so full... cannot sit down one". So you tell yourself, "I'll wait for the next one."so you let the bus go and waited for the second bus.

Then the second bus came,you looked at it and you said, "eeee... this bus so old... surely very uncomfortable one."

So you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus. After awhile, another bus came.It's not crowded and not old but you said, "eeee... no air-con one...and the weather is so warm, better wait for the next one." so again you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus...

Then the sky started to get dark as it is getting late. You panicked and jump on to the next on coming bus.It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded on to the wrong bus!

So you wasted your time and money waiting for what you want! Even if an aircond bus came can you ensure that the aircon bus won't break down or will the aircon be too cold for you?

So people...(mostly girls but guys too!) want to make sure that what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn't hurt to give other people a chance, right? If you found that the "bus" doesn't suit you just press the red button and get off the bus!

But wait...I am sure all of you have this experienced before. You saw a bus is coming (the bus you want of course) you flagged it and the driver acted blur by pretending not seeing you and zoomed pass you!

The bottom line of being loved is like waiting for a bus and whether you want toon the bus and give the bus a chance depends totally on you and walking alone is just like being out of love.

If you love someone set him/her free. If he/she comes back to you, you know they're yours. If they don't then it was never meant to be.Remember to always say that you mean.

If you love someone, tell. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

Friendship is never an accident. It is always the result of high intentions, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution. It represents the wise choice of many alternatives. And remember.... Keep Smiling.... coz... "Of All Things You Wear, Your Smile Is As love returns to me, As I return to you, As love returns to us... I guess this is really wondeful and make a lot of sense.

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So, take your time and choose the best.

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's" perfect person."
It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

Never say "I love you" if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her when she fall and it works both ways...

Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry" not "where are you', but "I'm right here" not "how could you", but "I understand" not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year
or 10 years from now. Now………Let go.....

What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.
Then connect all the meanings and it describes you. If you have
double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

A-You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B-You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C-You definately have a partier side in you, don't be shy to showit.
D-You have trouble trusting people.
E-You are a very exciting person.
F-Everyone loves you.
G-You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H-You are not judgemental.
I-You have a bad temper sometimes.
J-Jealously
K-You like to try new things.
L-Love is a hard word for you to comprehend.
M-Success comes easily to you.
N-You like to work, but you always want a break.
O-You are very open-minded.
P-You have a lack of understanding people, you only focus on you.
Q-You are a hypocrite.
R-You are a social butterfly.
S-You are very close-minded.
T-You have an attitude, a big one.
U-You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V-You are very verbal.
W-You like your privacy.
X-You never let people tell you what to do.
Y-You cause a lot of trouble.
Z-You're always fighting with someone.

So say your name is Jessica....you...are a very exciting
person,but you don't always show your partier side.You have a bad
temper and get jealous easily.You are close-minded and tend to be
very quiet when something is going on.

Have a great day!

Kid's truth

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
* You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
--Alan, age 10

* No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
--Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
* Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
--Camille, age 10

* No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
--Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
* You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
--Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
* Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
* Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8

* On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
--Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
* I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
* When they're rich.
--Pam, age 7

* The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
--Curt, age 7

* The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
* I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be allgrossed out.
--Theodore, age 8

* It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
--Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
* There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8

"And the #1 Favorite is........"

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
* Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
--Ricky, age 10

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.

ONE: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand.

TWO: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll
need it to become a better pencil.

AND FIVE: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with
purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

ONE: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

TWO: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

AND FIVE: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties. By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart.

The Story of the Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean

A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. In about twenty minutes he and turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her he asked. "Darling, what do you see? "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

She humbly asked. "What does it mean Father?". He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you," he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

How about you? Are you the carrot that seems hard, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength. Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you a fluid spirit, but after facing life's difficulties, trials and tests, have you become hardened and stiff. Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart? Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the thing that is bringing the pain, to its peak flavor reaches 212 degrees Fahrenheit. When the water gets the hottest, it just tastes better. If you are like the coffee bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and make things better around you .

When people talk about you, do your praises to God increase? When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, does your worship elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

May God bless us with the patience, strength and wisdom to remain coffee beans at all times!! ;~)

Mang aiii... longot eh aku masa ni... (terpakso aku ejas brightness and contrast eh baru laa nampak sket) ni masa form 4... lepas kena dump dr dorm exclusive kite semo. Konon turun dorm K supaya jgn bebudak F2 buek bising... heh silap bosa laa... yg diturunkan eh tu semo eh jembalang handalan... heh heh heh... lepas tu menyesal tak guno lah warden dan ajk tertinggie hostel, bapaaaakk bising eh dorm K.

Yang aku tak leh tahan tu bilo ado yang mengigau tuh.... ngigau buek-buek! So kek sini u all can see... from left chakper, zam, azah ( oh azah dimanakah ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sejak dia pindah habih lost contact.... anybody knows about her???) then aku yang agak slim sket maso tu.. oh how I wish.... masa ni aku aktif lontar peluru, lempar cakera.... errr... ke aku kena buat semo tu skrg smuler hah??? dan the great Ita punx.... katil yg kek dopan tu, yg bersait tegang tu katil Yam, yg korang tgh menabrak tu katil aku!!!

Birthday -> Colour -> Nature

If your birthday is on ..... Scroll down to find out about your nature ....

December 23rd - January 1st	Red
January 2nd - January 11th	Orange
January 12th - January 24th	Yellow
January 25th - February 3	Pink
February 4th - February 8th	Blue
February 9th - February 18th	Green
February 19th - February 28th	Brown
March1st - Match 10th	Aqua
March 11 - March 20th	Lime
March 21 st	Black
March 22 nd - March 31st	Purple
April 1st - April 10th	Navy
April 11th - April 20th	Silver
April 21st - April 30th	White
May 2nd - May 14th	Blue
May 15th - May 24th	Gold
May 25th - June 3rd	Cream
June 4th - June13th	Gray
June 14 - June 23rd	Maroon
June 24th	Gray
June 25 - July 4th	Red
July 5th - July 14th	Orange
July 15th - July 25 th	Yellow
July 26th - August 4 th	Pink
August 5th - August 13th	Blue
August 14th - August 23rd	Green
August 24 - September 2nd	Brown
September 3rd - September12th	Aqua
September 13th - September 22nd	Lime
September 23rd	Olive
September 24th - October 3rd	Purple
October 4th - October 13th	Nave
October 14th - October 23rd	Silver
October 24 - November 11th	White
November 12th - November 21st	Gold
November 22nd - December1st	Cream
December 2nd - December11th	Gray
December 12th - December 21st	Maroon
December 22nd	Teal

RED
Cute and lovable type, you are picky but always in love ...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people, nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can make you feel comfortable.

CREAM
Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out-going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long long time.

TEAL
You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.

GREY
You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything that's inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right time, and you have a good sense of humor.

GREEN
You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single, waiting for the right person.

GOLD
You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.

PINK
You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.

YELLOW
You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time. And always dreaming of romantic relationship.

MAROON
You are intelligent, and know what's right. You like to take things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble or not thinking about other people's feelings. But you are patient when it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better love.

ORANGE
You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people. You always have goals to reach, and are competitive. When it comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.

PURPLE
You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for person that's trustworthy.

LIME
You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.

SILVER
You are imaginative and shy, but you like trying new things. You like to challenge yourself. You learn things easily, and like "Hard to get". Your love life is normally hard and confusing.

WHITE
You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes thought highly by others.

OLIVE
You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.

BROWN
You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.

BLUE
You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.

NAVY
You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything. And very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, it's hard for you to forgive them.

AQUA
Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely, and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and you get lost in love easily. Sometimes you get hurt by love.

BLACK
You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and different.

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if, we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
but tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner!- yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir" "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean. If you love
someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time,
it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most
importantly, stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you the person that you
are today.

You Can

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but you think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't!

If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world you find
Success begins with the will,
Its all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise
You've got to think of yourself before
You can ever win the prize!

Full many a race is lost
Before ever a step is run;
And many a coward fails,
Before his work's begun.

Think big and your deeds will grow,
Think small and you'll fall behind,
Think that you can and you will,
It's all in the state of mind!

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can!

Geography of a woman
Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India
Very hot, wise and beautiful
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still
desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.
After 70, they become Siberia.
"Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go
there."
-------------------------------------------------------
Then we have the guys... just to be fair...
A guy's life can be described as a train on a railway
track.
When they are 20,
Every station they want to stop.
When they are 30,
They can only stop at one station.
When they are 40,
They want to stop but they are not allowed to stop.
When they are 50,
They want to stop but they cannot stop.
When they are 60,
They can't even start. How to stop?

Hang Onto Each Other

Too often we feel alone. But there is always someone ready to take our
hand.
There is a beautiful story of an overworked nurse who escorted a tired,
young man to her patient's bed -side. Leaning over and speaking loudly to
the
elderly patient, she said, "Your son is here."

With great effort, his unfocussed eyes opened, then flickered shut again.
The young man squeezed the aged hand in his and sat beside the bed.Throughout the night he sat there, holding the old man's hand
and whispering words of comfort.

By morning's light, the patient had died. In moments, hospital staff
swarmed
into the room to turn off machines and remove needles. The nurse stepped
over
to the young man's side and began to offer sympathy, but he interrupted
her.

"Who was that man?" he asked.

The startled nurse replied, "I thought he was your father!"
"No, he was not my father", he answered. I never saw him before in my
life."
"Then, why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I realized he needed his son and his son wasn't here", the man explained.
"And since he was too sick to recognize that I was not his son, I knew he
needed me."
Mother Teresa used to remind us that nobody should have to die alone.
Likewise, nobody should have to grieve alone or cry alone either.
Or laugh alone or celebrate alone.
We are made to travel life's journey hand in hand.
There is someone ready to grasp your hand today.
And someone hoping you will take theirs.
Remember To Hang On To One Another!

JOKES.... nana post this to me

Differences Between You and Your Boss

When you do good, your boss never remembers.
When you do wrong, he never forgets.

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

--------------------------------

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

--------------------------------

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum company."

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets.

Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do you like that, I work for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.

When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air, I work for 7-UP."

--------------------------------

A young woman, several months pregnant, boarded a bus and sat opposite a young man, he smiled, and feeling embarrassed she changed her seat.

But it was to no avail, for the young man smiled even more broadly when she sat down.

Again she moved to another seat, he grinned and again after the fourth move, the young man just rolled up and roared with laughter.

The woman complained and duly summoned him.

Judge: Well, young man, have you anything to say in your defense against this charge?

The young man: Well, your Honor, when the young lady entered the bus, her condition was obvious.

However, that did not prompt my smile, but she sat under an advertisement that read: "Coming shortly - The Gold Rush Twins."

The lady seemed indignant when I smiled and she got up and took another seat beneath a shaving stick advertisement, which read: "William's stick did the trick."

She moved a third time and sat beneath a poster that read: "Sloane's liniments will remove swelling."

It was after she had moved her seat fourth time that I lost control of my merriment for the above was a slogan: "Dunlop Rubber Goods would have prevented this accident."

Singapore's "practice" for Simple Living :
1 - One Wife
2 - Two Children
3 - Three Bedroom Condo
4 - Four Wheels
5 - Five Figure Salary

That's why "Singapore is solid" ! Malaysia is in such a bad shape
because.......
Malaysia's "practice" to Simple Living :
5 - Five Children
4 - Four Wives
3 - Three Figure Salary
2 - Two Wheels
1 - One-Storey Link House / Low cost House...

Malaysian Telephone Service Providers and what they really mean:

010 - ART 900 - Always Repair Telephone
011 - ATUR - Absolutely Terrible and Useless Radiophone
012 - Maxis - Moronic And Xtremely Inferior System
013 - TM Touch - Too Many TMTouch Owners Usually Change Handphones
016 - DiGi 1800 - Don't Invest In Garbage Instruments
017 - ADAM - Always Dropping And Malfunctioning
018 - Mobifon - Most Often Bought In Fake Obnoxious Nightmarkets
019 - CELCOM - Cannot Enjoy Line Clarity on Outgoing Messages

Why Men Can't Win

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.