JOKES APART

Not long ago, there lived a man.
He wasn’t athletic like Jackie Chan
Although he took great pride in being the Wild William Dee
His character was sorely as dysfunctional as his weak kidney,

William favored Internet chat rooms as an outing with the masses
Even though he was bothered by his ill fitting reading glasses.
He hemmed and hawed as he chewed
The fat with roomies, with fingers glued
To his keyboard. He was often cold and shaking
And wore mittens even when the sun was baking.
He didn’t believe in God and never attended mass
He said he didn’t believe in Christ or Christmas.

Another thing he did more times than few
Was crying “Boo” at ladies whom he hardly knew.
He rode his motorcycle everywhere in town
With a broken silencer he vroomed up and down
Yet people thought he was a likeable fellow
His clowning kept them grinning and mellow.
Until they were told by Wild William Dee
“There’s no Heaven and no Hell I tell ye”!

He behaved like he was ready for the loony bin
Sick from worry, his mother fretted herself thin.
His father bullied, badgered, brow beaten, red faced and burly
Gave up the ghost when he had had enough and died early.

Like wildfire from person to person
He spread his rumors for some hideous reason
“Sure as we’re all born human, not ass!
There was no Christ so there shouldn’t be a Christmas!
Amusing himself this feather-head with askew glasses
Assiduously went about poisoning the masses
Hissing and sneering at everyone
“Fools there are no Gods, not a one”.

His girlfriend unbelieving and quaking
Tried to stem his lunatic raving
No sooner she would stop his mocking
He would say something even more shocking.

One day as he lolled back in his leather-backed chair
Grinning and laughing madly without a care
Wild William Dee suddenly as clear as crystal saw
The figure of Death loom before him, filling him with awe.
“I am here William to claim your willful soul
Your time’s up, now pass on over, do as you’re told”.
Argued William with Death itself, “I’m too young to die!
And that’s a fact I do not tell a lie”.
The Grim Reaper replied with deathly calm
“You’ve only done yourself the harm
You’ve been having so much fun with your cruel joke
You’ve given yourself a fatal cardio vascular stroke”.

“Heart attack, my eye”! Cried Willie Dee wildly and instantly
“See I spit on your face!” and he carried out his threat defiantly.
Death’s eyes glowed eerily as spittle ran down his skeletal face
Leaning forward he breathed coldly “It would be wise of you to show me some grace”

William visibly shaking now drew back from the stench of Death
“No way I’m dying now. I am not ready yet”!
As an extended bony finger reached out to touch his shoulder
William’s ghost left his body a little wiser a lot less bolder.

“Now let’s get down to more business” said Death suddenly jolly
“This once you pick your final destination in spite of all your folly.
What’s it going to be for you, Hell under your carpeted floor?
Or do you rather favor your chances at Heaven’s Door?”

William thought aloud, “I was mean to people all of my life
Laughed at their beliefs cruelly, even twisted in the knife
I never believed in God nor gave the Devil his due
I can’t think of any reason God would forgive me, can you”?
William watched in shock as two worlds appeared out of the blue
Hell’s Fires below him and above him the reality of Heaven so true.

"Everything about God, Love, and human kindness.”
Was yours to cherish in all its goodness”
Spoke the Cloaked Skeleton shifting his scythe
From his frightful left hand to his bone chilling right.
“You punched holes in these gifts, and the graces passed through this sieve
When all you had to do is believe”!
“If it were up to me,” continued Death darkly, “I would have you hauled over the coals
But God loves His sheep, even one like you who has had such aimless goals”.

No skin but bones now with all the crap kicked out of him and who’s to blame?
William Dee no longer Wild, he hung his head down low in shame.
“I have seen the error of my ways, wont you forgive me pretty please?
I believe there is Fate and Justice and I declare this on bended bare knees”.

“Very well then”, said Death laughingly.” wake up from your nightmarish dream.
The yolks on you, you’re not really dead Dee, isn’t this such a scream?
I wanted to see what you would be like when you’re not arrogant but deathly blue.
Just remember Jesus once said, “Lord forgive them for they know not what they do” ' .

Weeping now, Willam caught the hint gratefully and mended all his hurtful ways
Was a saintly, model citizen unto his dying days.
Miraculously he turned devout and later a doting grandfather
Died peaceful and happy and much loved for ever after.

The town’s people swear not by the Wild, but the mild mannered Willam today
“Let Willy’s transformation be an inspiration for all ye sinners”, they say.
For sure William turned such a corner he did, the town’s folk avow
Why do good deeds tomorrow when you have the grace to do it right now.
So born again William Dee if you’re in heaven you can gladly see
I am doing all the good on earth I can now, so save a seat for me!

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