Interviewer: "Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?"
Clinton (visibly upset): "You leave Hillary out of this!"
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At a recent interview, it seems that
Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about
him being controlled. Interviewer: "Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?" Clinton (visibly upset): "You leave Hillary out of this!" |
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Hillary Clinton died and, Lord knows
why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says "Hillary, I know
you're 'somebody' down on Earth, but up here, you're just another person.
And, I'm swamped right now, so have a seat and I'll get back with you as
soon as I can." So Hillary sits down and begins looking at her surroundings. She notices a huge wall that extends as far as the eye can see. And on that wall there are millions and millions of clocks. She can't help notice that on occasion some of the clocks jump ahead fifteen minutes. When St. Peter returns she asks "What's the deal with the clocks?" St. Peter replies "There is a clock on the wall for every married man on Earth." Hillary asks, "Well what does it mean when the clock jumps ahead 15 minutes?" St. Peter replies, "That means that the man that belongs to that clock has just committed adultery." Hillary asks, "Well, is my husband's clock on the wall?" St. Peter replies, "Of course not. God has it in his office and is using it for an electric fan." |
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Clinton is on the beach at Martha's
Vineyard and finds that an old bottle has washed ashore. When the Perez
opens it a very wan Genie snakes out. Genie: Hi Bill. I'm a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish--it had better be easy if you want me to do it. Clinton: I pray for world peace. Give me that. Genie: That's a little hard, give me something easier. Clinton: Make Hillary into the most beautiful woman in the world? Genie: World peace it is. |
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Did you hear that in response to
President Bill Clinton's habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the
McDonald's national management has announced a commemorative double
cheeseburger, the McClinton? Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it's got half the meat. |
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Before his infamous haircut on the
tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christopher, "How long will this take, how
much will it cost, and how good will this look?" Christopher replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christopher handed him a bill for $200. Clinton gasped, "You took too long, it doesn't look that great, and it is costing me ten times more than you said!" Christopher replied, "That makes us even." |
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Bill and Hillary were going down a
back road and stopped at a gas station. As the worker was filling up their car, he said to Hillary "I went to high school with you". She recognized him and agreed with him. Later as they were driving down the road Bill said "If you had married him you wouldn't be married to the President". Hillary said "Oh yes I would--he would be President." |
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Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton,
Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit
the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans. Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy." Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy." Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy." |