By Raven
She had left the poor pitiful creature with the dragon elder. She knew that eventually the dragon would be healed of the rage within her. Raven knew that her children were at least safe from this threat. She had walked about a mile down the path when she felt a presence.
�Hello, sister. Are you well?� he asked her.
�As well as I can be right now.�
He looked at her quizzically, but left the statement alone. �I had heard from Stephen that you were injured. It is good to see you up and moving.�
�I am all right, but I need to get home.� She knew that what she said was a lie, but she didn�t care anymore. She once again returned to the valley. She took nano spray and coated the jeep with it, giving the code for it to be taken to VS headquarters for a thorough going over. Then she sat there waiting for the pain to return, for that, at least, told her that she was alive.
Chris showed up there a little before sunset, she could see the transporter mirage. �Are you ready to come home?� he asked her.
�I don�t know if I can.� she told him. �I am not sure that I can deal with the feeling of helplessness.� She went with him, but it was not home anymore. It was all a nothingness that she felt. She was able to find things and carry out tasks, but there were no real memories.
She, instead of dwelling on the growing nothingness within her mind, went into protector mode. She didn�t sleep, nor did she feed unless forced to- she didn�t care anymore. She was that way until Sophie and Chad were both back home and safe. During the time that she was watching, she had left her younger children�s care to her father. She had tried to visit them, but was aware that Harry knew she was not well, and stopped after he ran from her on the second visit.
It was December first when Sophie and Chad went home. She saw them to the door of their home, then went to her manor house. She showered and laid down on the bed. �Beloved, I am sorry.� she sent out, knowing he was too far to hear her mind voice. She then surrendered herself to sleep, praying that she would never again wake.
Christian looked in on his wife as she rested. She had left him a message that she was going to lay down after she had gotten Sophie settled at home. He walked into the room and immediately knew that there was something wrong when he saw her. She had been looking poor since her injury, and after getting back from the desert had blatantly refused to see either Stanley or Stephen. They had both told him that they were worried but neither could get close enough to her to drug her for a check up. They had both given up after she had nearly broken Stanley�s arm for trying to slip something into her tea. Stephen said that for the first time in the hundred thousand years that he had known Raven, he was afraid of, and for, her.
When Jeremy Winstead had tried to slide under her shields to see what she was up to as a favor to me, he was knocked cold on the first attempt. When he woke up 36 hours later, he had told me that she has a wall up that even he couldn�t break. I walked over to her taking her hand in mine, �Raven, love, wake up a little.�
She twitched a little, but didn�t wake up. I still took the twitch as a good sign. I went about the business of getting dinner once again for myself, then went to bed.
When he woke in the morning, he knew she was no longer all right. Her body was rigid and cold, colder than he had ever felt. He tried once again to wake her, and there was nothing. He began to freak when he touched Salem- the cat�s breathing was labored and he would not wake. He had never seen the cat this way, and the worst went through his mind. �Oh, god, no!� the thought was going through his mind. �No not yet! Not now!�
He then felt a presence in the room. He turned his tear-streaked face, only to see the one person he didn�t want to see right then. He knew his greatest fear was true. Andrew was standing there- death in the flesh, so to speak.
He started to speak, but Chris was having a hard time hearing because he felt real dizzy. Andrew walked over to him, helping him to a chair. �She isn�t dead, Chris, but she is very sick and her soul has left her body.� Andrew said.
�What do you mean, she ain�t dead but her soul has left?� Chris asked, feeling a rage that threatened to destroy every bit of rational thinking.
�Calm down, Chris, Mother said it was all right. She has permitted this because in losing her memory, there was damage that was done that only her mother could see.� Andrew started to explain.
�I don�t understand, Andrew. What are you talking about?�
�It is like this, Chris. All of her life, she has felt safe- even when she was injured or experiencing the little death. She has never felt unsafe, or that was the case until she lost her memories. When that happened, something in her being shattered. That part was so deep, that not even I ever knew it was there.
�Any way, her mother allowed her soul to leave her body so that she could be fixed. But, Chris, you are still needed to fix her body. You need to take her down to the pit and into the closet so that she can be tended to there. Go on downstairs- I will bring her. Take Salem, because he needs healing, too.�
Chris did as he was asked, taking the cat very carefully in his arms. It took him a few minutes to find where she had the slide rule hidden and to set it up.
While he was setting it up, Lori made her appearance. At first, he didn�t recognize her, then she smiled at him. The last time he had seen her had been when she was eight and up time before they had returned.
�Amy said that I was needed to help you and Raven.� she explained as she set up the program and the compression ratio, then placed Raven on a gurney.
Andrew looked at Chris one more time, then handed him a small bottle, saying, �Take this, it will help you to sleep so you don�t go stir crazy in there.�
Lori shut the door, activating the compression field. She took only a few minutes to get the feeding tube placed into her chest, and get her set up in the bed in the bungalow that they had always loved, and used when they needed to rest. �You know, Chris, you would probably feel better if you took a load off and slept a little.� she told him.
He knew she was right, he was feeling so exhausted all of a sudden. He decided to take the bottle and drink the potion or whatever it was in it.
Chris immediately felt something strange after he swallowed it. He felt light, then numb. Then to his surprise and disbelief, he was standing outside his body, watching Lori place it next to Raven and Salem in the bed. He turned around and was met by a sight he did not expect to see.
Sky, Halea and Laurel were standing there, waiting for him. Laurelyn was looking especially guilty about something. �I am sorry, daddy. It was the only way that we could separate you from you body for an extended period of time without hurting you.� she said quietly.
�What was that? What did I drink?� Chris asked his daughter, nearly squeaking with shock.
�It is called the essence of death. It is literally Andrew�s tears.� Halea told him. Chris knew that Amy, as Raven called her, was feeling really guilty about this, so he didn�t push it.
�How long will I be like this?� was all that he could ask his girls. Well at least Halea and Amy were his, so to speak. Sky had always been her mother�s little hell kitten. She also was the only one of the three that didn�t look completely human. She had fine fur, slitted eyes, and if you looked closely, stripes at the base of her spine. All three had blue-black hair and lavender eyes.
�It will be a while.� was all that Amy would say. Then she looked at him. �We did this because we knew that you would worry about Mother. Take our hands, Dad, we want to take you somewhere.�
The place the girls took him was an old temple. �Look, see, and understand.� Halea told him.
Raven was there, along with another woman who looked like his beloved, only a little older. She was dressed in a purple sari and had her hair pinned up. Raven was laying with her head in her lap, sobbing in a way that Chris had never seen before. �Oh, Mama, I can�t do it anymore!� she said to her mother, her voice tear choked. �I can�t hold it back- all the feelings that I hide from all of them!�
�I know, little one. You have been holding this in for too long. No matter what has happened, you are still just one being. You can break- everything breaks from time to time.� soothed the older woman.
�I am so tired.� she told the older woman, �tired of the hiding and the doubt. Does it ever go away, Mama?�
Chris could hear the pleading in his beloved�s voice. This was something he had never witnessed before. His wife was headstrong and tended to get into trouble over her head sometimes. As he thought about it, he realized that she always came out of it, that is, until now, unscathed.
Amy then took his arm. �You see, Daddy, she has always known safety in her heart. When her memories left her, she no longer felt that. When that happened, everything that she ever had doubt about in her life came flooding back to her. All the times she ever acted without thinking, or placed herself in unnecessary danger because she had to. She is now looking over each one of those events, wondering if it was a good thing that she did or not.�
Sky�s voice was the next that he heard. �Mom has everything that she needs to do in her lifetime hard wired in, so to speak. She has no real choice in the matter, but she accepts this without reservation. When she lost her memory, that programming was erased or hidden for a while. She started wondering if the blind acceptance she lived with all her existence was good for her and those around her.�
�Dad,� Halea�s voice came to him in a whisper, �she is having a crisis of faith, so to speak. She wants and needs to know that she is doing right by not just the universe, but by those that matter most to her. You in particular.�
Once again, he saw a facet of his wife that he never knew existed. Behind all that roughness and indomitable spirit, was a creature so fragile that even he had no concept of it. �What do I do?� he asked the three women that were his companions here.
�Go to her, and do the one thing that only you can do. Console her, let her know that you stand by her in this. You are the one person she tries to protect the most. She does this not because she feels you need it, but because she needs you the most.� Amy answered his question.
He looked at his wife with a new set of eyes then, and crept from the place were he had hidden. �Oh, beloved, it will be all right.� he said gently to his wife.
She looked up from the woman�s lap. �Mother, you said no one would ever know of this.�
�You are wrong.� the woman told her. �I said no one would remember this. Come here, Chris, you need this as much as she does.�
�He don�t understand, Mother. He has never seen you in a human form.� Raven explained.
Chris felt a great presence surround him and felt something he never expected. The whole of the universe welcomed him. Raven sat up and the woman got up. �Trade me, will you please?� was all she said to Chris.
He then sat down next to her. Raven once again laid herself down, placing her head in his lap. They talked for what seemed like an eternity and then some. They shared the tears and the joys. For the first time, Chris understood what his wife felt about the world they lived in. He now knew how hard it was for her, and how much she truly needed him.
When they were just sitting there holding one another, the woman came to them. �It is time for you to leave this place. Cross the doorway back to your world and be well, my children.� she said.
�Thank you, Mother.� was all that Raven said. It was then when Christian made the connection. That was Creation, Raven�s mother, and the mother of all. He stepped back through the door to a familiar-looking bungalow. What was strange was to see his body there, along with his beloved and the cat. He sat down as she did, re-entering his body.
�Well, about time you two woke up.� Lori said as she was standing next to Raven, helping her to stand. �Don�t try moving yet, Chris, you�ve been there for a long time.�
Strangely, it was him instead of her that asked how long. �Oh about ten or so years.� was Lori�s answer.
�What? The kids...� was all he got out before Salem laid a tiger paw on his chest.
�We are in the time box, remember?�
�Oh, yeah. Sorry, everyone, I forgot.�
They would need about three weeks before they could move without creaking. When they left the slide rule, they were both given an injection �Go straight to bed� was Lori�s last instruction.
The next thing Chris knew was that the alarm clock was going off, and that he heard Raven singing in the shower. Now, if only he could remember his dreams.