By Raven
Raven was in the pit. Naya was asleep, and Remmy and Marty were mixing the music tonight. That meant she would have the night to herself to paint.
I had put the newest addition to mine and Chris� family in bed and sang her a lullaby, one that meant something to someone else once. Elisondra my little angel.
She had been born when I was nearly seventy thousand years old. I had been watched all through my pregnancy with her because of my age. The labor had been long and difficult for both of us. I had slept for fifteen days, it had taken my body that long to recover. Eli had been small at birth, but by all the scans she was healthy. She was a quiet baby, never fussy, very content and easy to manage.
The first signs of something wrong started showing when she was eighteen months old. She had been acting as if she had a cold. When it didn�t get better after a few days, I took her to med bay. They did more tests then were necessary for a common cold. That was when Mariah, Robin and Alex�s daughter, came in with the news. Mariah had followed in her grandmother Penny�s footsteps- she had taken her position when Penny had retired to spend more time with her husband Schuyler, after he had nearly died from a heart attack.
�Grandmother, Eli is very sick and there is nothing we can do. She is slowly having her DNA unraveled. It is a mutation of her own DNA that when we backed up to check, it was even present in the ova.
�We can�t stop it, Grandma. Eli is dying, and for all we have here, we are helpless to stop it. We have been trying everything that we could think of.� Mariah said to me, tears forming in her eyes.
�Who are �we�?� I asked, the rage and pain building up in me. I was there alone, Chris was �dead�, there having been an accident earlier in the week, an explosion earlier the same day that Eli had gotten sick. He had been hit in the head, and the head trauma had done it. So, instead of quick timing it, I had decided to let him sleep. He still had seventeen days left when Mariah told me.
�Grandmother Penny is here, as well as Aunt Julia. Director Emeritus Harris has also come out of retirement. Founder Two has also tried. He told me it was his way of saying thank you for a lesson that another little girl had taught him. Do you know what he meant by that?�
After I shook my head no, she went on. �Everything we have tried has failed, even when Founder Two tried to purge it. Her body's ability to purge it is non-existent. The only thing that does seem to work is a serum from your blood.
�But, that won�t last; as the condition becomes more advanced, she will become weaker and weaker. In a sense, she has cancer. What is making this so hard, is the fact that if she didn�t have Sagans, she would have not made it past the first night.�
�She went through a thorough scan when she was born.� I said.
�I know.� was all that Mariah could say. We looked at the scans, all of them, and when we pieced them together, we saw something, a small anomaly. It didn�t show up in the basic scan, but we always do an in-depth at birth. We looked and looked. Finally, Penny found it.
�When we looked at the scans, we thought it was a systems glitch. What it was, was a biochemical interference. Her own biochemistry somehow interferes with our scan processes.� my sister-in-law said.
�No, you�re wrong!� I shouted. �This can not happen to me. I refuse to let it happen!� That was when Chris walked in. I looked at him, and his eyes told me everything I didn�t want to hear.
�I looked at the evidence. It�s all there, my beloved.� he said sadly.
�NO! I WON�T LET MY BABY DIE!� I screamed as I ran from the offices to the one place that I felt safe. Strangely, it was the training ground. I took on all who were foolish enough to dance with me. I had badly beaten nearly fifty of our finest, including Marcus. Marcus, the only other person that both Robin and Alex trusted completely. I was waiting for another opponent when Aliera walked into the training ground.
�Grandmother, I cannot allow this to continue.� she said sternly.
I looked at her. �Who are you to stop me, child?� I snarled. I knew who she was- she was Alex�s and Robin�s daughter, and my appointed successor. She had her mother�s red hair, Christian�s height, Robin�s mind and my fire.
�This will not continue, Grandmother. I will not allow you to destroy what we have all worked so hard for.�
�Try to stop me, child!� was all I said before I charged her. I was about to kill the girl when two others stepped into the blood-soaked arena.
Robin and Sky walked in, hand in hand. Alex was not far behind, and with her were all of them. All of the children that were at the guild were there, and they had brought their families. I was surrounded by all those I had fought so hard and so long for.
They all linked hands, forming a circle around me, filling it with their love. That was when Chris walked in, carrying Eli. Robin left the circle and walked over to me. Sky was a step behind him. Once again they closed ranks.
�We are even powerless to stop this.� Robin told me, his face streaked with tears. He had power over time itself. Sky then looked at me.
�Mother,� she said �It was only your need that produced this child.�
Then, I felt something so alien that I was incapable of moving. I was standing out amongst the stars, in the vastness of space, the only place to me that had no limits. It was there a woman came to me.
�I do this now, taking a form that you would understand.� I �heard�. She walked over to me. �I understand your pain, my beautiful one. I forged your soul so there would always be a guardian. For as all children learn and discover, they, at one time or another, find time itself. In that, they gain the ability to unmake all that I have made. Death is the natural part of the cycle, but to unmake is wrong. Once anything is created, it cannot be unmade. That is my one rule, the only one that will bring my punishment. To unmake something is to, in turn, have that happen to you. Still, all the same, there are times when some things are not supposed to happen. For me, it was Tajani. He was one thing that was in error. For you, it was Eli. The power of creation flows in your veins now. It felt your need, but that which it had to work with was flawed. This is why the child is not strong. Do not blame yourself, though. All things must end, even you, my beloved. Your body has limits, and the child was made after you had passed the time in which offspring should be made. Even I can not stop death, for then I would be breaking my own rules. She will not suffer. What is done is done. You must be strong. Those that love you feel your pain. Even those that you can no longer see.�
�Who?� I asked her. That was when another joined her.
�I feel it, Mother.� Before me stood Isolde, the first one I had left behind. �I do not have the power of creation, but I do possess the ability to see its patterns, along with the ability to see where you are. Your blood in my veins makes it possible for this to be so. I feel your pain. All who bear your blood do. We are all tied to you. We all love you, and we will all share with you in this. We will never leave you alone. That which you fear most will never be allowed to happen.�
�Your daughter speaks only the truth. I, too, will be there with you in this.�
I once again was in my body. I fell to the ground- I had been floating there in the arena. Pale lavender light surrounded us all. �MOTHER, DON�T LEAVE ME AGAIN!� I screamed.
�When you need me, I will be here for you. Of all the children I have made, you are, and always have been, my favorite.�
I lay there for a few moments crying, crying for all my children. �She will be all right for now.� Aliera told the others. �Let�s leave them alone.�
They left us alone- me, Eli, and Chris. �Mama, mama.� came Eli�s voice, as I felt a small hand patting me on the head. �Want to go home. Want to have ice cream.� So, we went home.
We had Eli in our lives until four days before her fifth birthday. As mother had promised, there was no pain.
I had for many years been on close personal terms with Death. That was even before I came to the guild. It was only after I came to the guild and found the place called Cynosure did I truly meet Death in person.
It was strange at first. It was in male form at the time. I had gone to Munden�s for a beer. He was sitting at a table drinking something. One of the nights when Freddy Mercury was playing, so it was a packed house. We talked for most of the night, real casual. When I finally asked his name, he said, �You know me, Raven. We have known each other for centuries.�
He did not look familiar to me at all. He reached out his hand to shake mine and all I felt was a sense of familiarity. �I am Death, my sweet Raven. You and I have waltzed the floor many times. One day, we will dance the final dance, but that won�t be for a while.� he said to me. We strangely would end up on having a child together. That is a whole different story, though.
That day, he came in the form of a woman. Eli had been getting progressively weaker, and was now only being sustained by my blood. We had decided that this was enough, to let her pass and not prolong it. She was so thin and weak, my blood being the only thing keeping her alive.
She could no longer eat, and slept most of the day now. Gabe had taken to coming over and playing for her. This was mostly for Chris. He was having a much harder time than he would let on. We talked little near the end, instead giving all we could to our little girl. Chris had always seen me so strong. Yet, I spent more time crying than he or anyone ever knew. Salem was the only one who would see these fits.
When the day came, I had once again tried to get her to eat even a little ice cream, and again she refused. I knew then that it was time. �It�s all right, sweety, you can let go. You can sleep now. Its all right.� I said gently into her ear.
Chris was there with me when she passed. Salem also was there. But it was only I who saw Death itself. She came to my little girl, taking her by the hand ever so gently.
�Come on Eli, it�s time.� She told her. �You can come with me. Mommy says it�s all right.�
I could hear my little girl say to Death, �But Mommy says I am not supposed to talk to strangers.� In my heart, I told her it was all right. She was mama�s friend. My mind though was screaming �No, you can�t have her!�
It was then, as they were both leaving the room, that Death did as he had done so many times before. He kissed me and told me it would be all right. I understood but could not accept this very well. I would later, after it happened, have to place a very strong suggestion in Chris� mind, because he could not deal with the pain.
I would also, with Gabe and Robin�s help, decide that Chris needed a hundred year �nap�. That had been hard for me, but it was the only way that we could help Chris to deal with Eli�s death. I snapped his neck, then we slowed the regeneration process with the help of a tube. When he woke, Eli�s memory was only a dull ache.
For me, it was a lot harder. My final release came in the form of a strange �Deal� with Death itself. I made the deal with by now the name for the male visage Andrew or the female visage Andrea. Different names, different faces, but all still Death. I was to be dead for all intents and purposes during the time that Chris was, well, resetting.
During that time, I spent my existence with Death itself. My soul, for a short time, was everywhere and every when. For a hundred years, I made the rounds with that which in life is feared most. I learned many things then, the most important being that I had no need to fear death. All those that I had made dead had only been given a break.
I then understood that I was loved even by Death, for from me that one being was able to bring a new being into the world. Death loved many, and had over time taken many lovers. The one thing it could not do though was create a new life. I had given him that opportunity though and was well loved for it. I now have a very morbid and strange ability. I can see death itself. We can even still have conversations.
When I woke, it was the same instant as Chris did. For both of us, Eli was a dull ache, and we knew we would survive.
I looked at the panel. Eli�s face was smiling, as I had chosen to draw her healthy. To honor her spirit, not the frail creature she had been in her end days. It was then that my heart, if it could, would have stopped. Someone had wrapped his arms around me, and it was not Chris. This person bore no scent, and was getting real fresh with me. The man spun me around, and there was Andrew.
�You scared me half to death!� I told him, and we both started laughing.
�Don�t flirt!� was his reply, and that caused more laughs. �I thought you might like a cup of tea.� He was always thoughtful, as well as gentle.
�I saw the new addition- she�s a little spit fire.� he said.
�I know. She really takes after Grandma, doesn�t she?�
�Yes, she definitely has Mom�s fire. I thought that you might need a hug.� he told me, smiling one of his winning smiles. You would never think it as such, but Death is really quite shy. �Nice save in the ninth with Diane and Kevin.�
�Sorry, I still get attached. So what�s the score, anyway?� I asked.
�You're still ahead in points.� he told me.
�Good. I like to keep it that way. Why are you here?� I asked him finally.
�Well, Amy thought that you might want me to finish this part of the wall.� he said.
I was about to say no, then I realized that Andrew needed to do this for himself as much as for me. �Yes, I would like that.� I told him.
He passed his hand over the section of wall, and the rough sketch became the first painted panel, even though it was in about the middle of the wall. There was one addition, though.
She was sitting on Andrew�s lap, and when I touched it, I could hear her voice. �I love you, mama, and I am all right.�
I turned, tears welling up in my eyes, and he was gone. �I forgive you, Andrew, I forgive you.� I cried.
�He knows.� was what Salem said as he padded out of the darkness. I realized then I had finally forgiven myself too.
�Lets go to bed, furball, I�m tired.� Salem jumped to my arms, and we headed upstairs. Good night Eli, I love you. A mother's song became more important to me now. It was my final step in saying good-bye to the angel who had meant so much to so many.