By Raven
As I went to bed after painting, Andrew�s presence was still bothering me a little. I went to sleep and once again my mind would wander. I had learned a long time ago to control my dreams. This was after I had arrived at the guild. So now, I could either cause my mind to go into an inert state, much like the state a fetus spends most of its early existence in, or I could dream. Not like a normal human being, though, having random bits of the subconscious come forward. For me, it was memories. Most of the time during the day when I was awake that which was the guild was not in my conscious mind. But when I would meditate or sleep I could remember that time. I was given the gift of never forgetting that time to protect me and mine. When you are responsible for time you can get a lot of enemies.
I had met Andrew only two hundred years after joining the guild. Unlike Chris, who had gone through training, I pretty much had been sent right into the field. I had gone to Cynosure for a break after a very grueling mission. I was there listening to some music at Munden�s with the concert, if you could call it that, in full swing. The place was standing room only. I managed to get to one of the small tables and sat down.
�This seat isn�t taken, is it?� I asked the occupant of the table.
�No.� was the answer that came from the gentleman in the other chair. We both sat listening to the music and after a while, we started talking to each other.
�I hate it when relationships end.� was one of the things he said. �I can never have a relationship that doesn�t end badly.�
I asked him, �Why is that?�
�My line of work.� was his response.
�Couldn�t be any worse than any of the other people here.� was my unsaid thought. Now, mind you, Munden�s can be weird, even for me. The first time I had come there was after my father said I needed to get to know other people. Chris and I had been well pretty much workaholics trying to play catch up. Dad had told me that I needed to socialize with those that I would one day hold direct control over their lives.
So, I went. No big deal- a bar. Never had a problem with a bar before, right? Well, wrong answer there! For one thing, Cynosure is a place even freakier than the guild! Another thing he did not tell me was to not at any time get into a card game there. That had been my first mistake. I was playing cards with, well, let�s see. Londo Mollari, Data, and Quark were the ones I recognized. In my world, these people were fiction. The remaining players were Shandall, who I would get to know later, and two gods, Loki and Coyote. I watched for a while, then, when Londo left, I took his seat. My mistake. The game they were playing was called Cheater�s Poker, and it was considered bad form on my part not to cheat. The object was to win the game by cheating the best, without being caught, and having the highest score. The poker hands were just a means to an end.
Well, I did fairly well for a while, then it got bad. I was out after the third hand. �You did OK.� was all Shandall would say to me afterward. Data told me he was practicing his deception routine and told me thank you for trying.
Over the intervening time, I would sit in on more than one of those games. But that was much later.
So, I had been coming here fairly often since then. Chris had come once, and told me that he would never go there again. The power there made him uncomfortable, so once again I was alone.
�What about your job has the ability to put people on edge?� I asked, curious.
�Well, I guess it is because everyone comes to me eventually.� he said quietly.
�All right, that ain�t so bad.� I told him.
�You don�t understand, Raven. You and I have been on real good terms for a long time.� he said, looking me straight in the face. This shocked me- he knew my name, claimed to be my friend, and yet I did not remember him.
�You really don�t know, do you, Raven?� he said to me. �Look at the rest of the room. They avoid the table, and we are the only ones who are not having problems getting service.�
I noticed it, now that he had mentioned it. �Who are you?� I asked him.
�I am Death, Raven. Not a god of, but the force of Death itself.�
�You�re kidding, right?� I told him.
�No, I am not. See, this is why I can�t keep a relationship. I get to know someone, and, if I don�t tell them, they freak when they find out. If I tell them, they won�t date me. Those that will date me, dump me, usually after I have to take someone near to them.� he told me.
�Well, have you worked on your approach?� I asked him. �Introducing yourself as Death don�t cut it in the dating game, that�s for sure.�
�I used to date the �god�s� of death of the various worlds, but all we would talk about was work. Do you know how dull that can get? I have also dated the dead and a few of the, well, �undead�, but, none of it works.�
�I think I can understand that. Actually, can you answer one question for me- how can you even be here?� I asked, my curiosity acting up.
He sighed when I asked that question. �I actually exist every where and every when all at once. I had a feeling you would ask that question. Most everyone ends up on asking it.�
�I didn�t mean to offend you.� I told him.
�Don�t worry, none taken. It is just one of the more common questions that gets asked. Let me guess- I�m willing to bet money I know more. �When am I going to die.� and �Do I have to go.�. Yes, they are two more of the top ten. Do you want to know?�
�No. When my time comes, I will deal with it then, and not before.� was my response, surprising him for the first time, but not the last.
We would talk a lot there in the beginning. I started calling him Andrew after a while when he was male and Andrea when female. There was actually no gender and, well, calling Death an it was too impersonal. Andrew had a lot of very human opinions about things. He actually hated war and needless murder, but the thing that made him most unhappy was when children died. I was a pleasant surprise to him, because what I did was to cause tissue to reverse the aging process.
One thing that surprised me was that he knew Chris. Every time he died, they would meet and chat. Chris� soul though was well firmly tethered in such a way that it could not be cut. Final death would come for both of us together. I would out live Chris, but not for long- maybe two or three days. The fact I had survived losing Martouf the first time had surprised him. That was when he started paying attention to me on the whole. My brushes with him also fascinated him. Somehow, I was able to get so close to the no return zone, but I would always snap back.
Then, there was the one time that he was torn because of our friendship. When Legion had possessed me, there was a point when I was dead, truly dead. He had held my hand during the whole experience, telling me that I needed to fight, that it was not my time. I lost, though, and he had been powerless, for he could not heal the damage. His power was to end life, not restore it. That was when Mother intervened.
What I found out later was that while they had me in the tube for the three thousand years it took for my body to heal, he had been there with me. Doing all that he could to encourage me to fight to live. I had lost so much though and could not hold on. Chris had told me there had been a twitch. My body was whole, but my soul had gone. My soul had fled my body, but Andrew refused to let it flee to the next existence. He held me there, weeping, and would not let me go. He was Death, but he would not refuse to care about those who were in his care. Mother then had Sky help Chris and Salem. The five of them together placed my soul back in my body. Mother acting through Sky, Andrew making sure that I did not cross the barrier, Chris and Salem with their love showing me the way back, giving me a reason to stay.
It was after that when Andrew asked me to do something that for any other would be impossible.
�I want to bring life into this world. Just once to create instead of ending a life.� he said. We had this discussion before. He had made love with many over the centuries. The liaisons had never produced a child though. Even a mage who had been in love with him could not produce a child.
�I wish I could help you.� I told him. �I don�t know how, though.�
�I think you could carry a child for me.� he told me.
�But for all intent you�re barren.� I told him.
�No, that is not true. It is true that my sperm kills the egg shortly after conception.� he said.
�OK, go on.� I told him. �Where do I come into this?�
�The very power of creation flows through your veins. Even the gods use this power, twice removed from the source. You can touch the maelstrom of creation, and bend it to your need. What I propose is, that if I can make the need for a child burn in your blood, that this power would make what until now has been impossible happen.�
�I don�t know. Chris has raised other children from unions needed in missions. I am director now, and don�t go on missions anymore.� I said cautiously.
�I know that this is a lot to ask of you.� he told me.
�Andrew, I love you. You are one of my best friends, and in truth, I have known you as long as I have known Salem. Oh, sweet heart, I�m honored that you would ask.�
�Then you will help?� he asked, tears of joy welling up in his eyes.
�I need to talk to Chris about it, but I think it could be arranged. You might have to be a little patient with him on this, though. He may not understand.� I told Andrew.
I went home, and as usual, Chris asked me how my lunch had been with Andrew.
�It was the normal thing we do every Friday, but, I need to ask you an important question. Andrew wants a baby and he wants me to carry it for him.� I said.
�He wants you to what? Please tell me you�re joking!� His eyes where pleading with me. He had no real fear of Andrew, but he could not get over the fact that his wife�s other best friend was Death. Salem had always been there and, well, he could get used to the cat, and did. What he did not fathom was how I could actually be friends with Death itself- not a representative, such as one of the many gods. Not the entity that was in entirety Death itself.
�He wants to create a life for once, not just end it. He has wanted this for a very long time.� I told Chris. I had known that Andrew was my mother�s second born- the first being Tajani- but had not told Chris, or anyone else for that matter. �He needs this, and I know somehow that I am the only one to make it possible.�
�I need to think about this.� was all he said to me.
Well, three days later, something that was a totally random happening occurred. There was a world in a very bad political situation, and Chris was sent to insure that a certain person did not come into power. To the surprise of us all, how he accomplished this was to make himself a martyr to the cause of the one we needed in power, therefore insuring that the one we wanted would rise to power. He was brought back dead, with two weeks left before he revived. The incident had been rather messy, then of course there was the funeral.
When Chris woke up, he told me that he and Andrew had been talking the whole time. He now accepted him as a friend, and they would get real quiet after that when I left them together, and give me these strange looks. Chris told me a long time later that he had finally found someone that he could really talk to about me. I would frustrate, confuse, and fascinate them both. How they both deeply loved me, and how when Legion had nearly destroyed me, both of them thought I was not going to survive. In a strange way, Chris had found another kindred soul, and a new best friend. He would concur his fear of death then. It was too bad he could not remember that now.
I met Andrew at a place in a desert, an old temple. Much like those of ancient Egypt, but on a far away world from a long dead culture.
�How do you want to do this?� I asked him.
�I have an idea.� he told me. He came over and undressed me, then he removed his shirt. He stood behind me, in the light of that world�s twin moons, both full in the sky. He could look like anyone or any thing. He chose to remain the Andrew I knew, but with one exception. This was a major exception- he had fangs. He kissed the back of my neck, gently at first, then with more passion. Then, he began to bite. After that which was human was aroused, he sank his fangs into my neck. This was how Martouf had done it many times before his ending. He stopped when I was near death from blood loss, weak and barely able to stand, then he turned me and put my head to his neck. Andrew did not realize that he was not immune to my bite, to the ecstasy that it would bring. We exchanged blood several times before the fever built to the point that I could no longer bear it. With Chris it was easy, with the others I had done it like a human, without the fever. But this way was one thing that I missed, and as much as I loved Chris, there was something about the exchange of the look between both to give and receive that ecstasy.
I had gone completely feral when we finally did what was needed to accomplish. Strangely, so had Andrew. He was nearly in complete frenzy from our, well, foreplay, and the need for him was as great as mine.
We finished as the sun was rising, and when the rays touched us, we both fled into the darkness of the temple. I slept for seven days, he told me, while I fought to keep the child. His blood sustaining me, I lived those seven days in a sense on the essence of death. I was feeling those first sensations of morning sickness when we returned. The med bay trip was only a confirmation of what we all knew deep down.
My pregnancy with Laurelyn was normal, except that my consumption was nearly triple at first. Chris was happy that I had no weird cravings, and was not the brass plated bitch during the last stages. They were both there when she was born. I named her Laurelyn Amethyst because of her violet eyes. I slept for only a day, and was able to do everything that I had been used to doing immediately.
It had been decided that we would raise her, because Andrew had absolutely no idea how to raise a child. When it came to infants, he was terrified. The relationship that Amy had with both of them was unique. Chris was and always be her dad, but Andrew was her father, and she loved both of them equally. What made this really funny was she was absolutely not anything like me. You could swear she was Chris� and Andrew�s alone. The only things that were mine are her blue-black curls and her nothing is impossible attitude.
By the time she was sixteen years old, she was an accomplished healer. She could also send herself into a state in which she was like Andrew when she wanted. She chose to do this only on rare occasions. She also had the power to, well, stop Death, if it was truly wrong. Much like what Mother's intervention had done for me with Legion. She would use this ability to help the guild correct catastrophic accidents in the various time lines. She made a lot of people proud, including me.
When Eli was dying, Amy tried to help also. Even she could not stop it from happening. Both of them were there, in their own way. Andrew to take her on to the next existence, and Amy to help us with the aftermath. I would end up on taking a lot of time to forgive Andrew but in the end I did. I also ended up having an even stronger relationship with Andrew. I learned later that he had not made himself visible, because I would have accepted it, but Chris would have not. Andrew cared as much for Chris as he did for me, and now that I thought about it, he had been there when I brought Steven across, smiling at me.
Between us, it was a game for me to cheat death. It was like a baseball game, and I was ahead. We used it as an old joke for a long time. He often would be there when I did things in the corner of my eye. When Jeri went Gray, he had been there, watching and waiting, to see if she survived. He was very proud of me, and I could see it in his eyes.
I could hear the birds singing, and my blood told me it was near dawn. I thought about what that meant for so many- a new day beginning. For others though it meant an end for the day. One of those was Steven. He was still so new to my world, that the sun would turn him off.
Other things came to mind as the sun was rising. I wondered if there would ever be a chance for me to share with Steven what it was like for vampires to make love. All those I had created were my children, but Doc, no, I corrected myself, Stephen, was different. It was then that I made an interesting discovery. I was in love with several different men. Chris, Andrew, strangely Salem. I could not forget John, and now Stephen. Chris and Salem shared me, and they didn�t even realize how I felt really. Andrew was Chris� closest friend- I just wish he could have kept that memory, so that he could talk when he needed it. John was and always would be my protector. Keep your friends close and those who hold the secret to your death closer had been an old joke between us for a very long time. In my mind, I realized what made them different from all the others. They were my equals in my mind. All the others had been children that needed protecting. Now there was another that this had happened with. The only question was what to do about it. To tell Chris or not. To tell Stephen or not.
�You�ll have to make that choice on you own, kitten.� was all that Salem�s mind voice said.
�I forgot that you shared everything in my mind, cat.�
�I know, lady-faire. I just have one thing to say. If you need to talk, ask your dad- he can probably help. If not, you know that you can talk to me about it, when you�re ready.� he told me gently.
�I know, fur face. I need to think, and I think Naia is waking up. So, I need to go make breakfast, and you need to get set for her practice work today.� I said.
�I know.� he said with a groan. �Need to test her strengths before I take her to the mage college and Raya. We need a solid gauge to see how strong she is and how much control she has.�
�Do you want me there?� I asked.
�No.� was his answer. She tended to be distracted when I was there when she was using her magic. Plus, she usually was stronger in my presence. So the cat and I had decided that this was between him and Naia.