Burnout By Raven    

'Oh, please don't cry.' Raven thought to herself. 'I
really am fine.' "I am fine,"she told Del, but she didn't
believe it anymore. She was sick in body and mind.
     "What happened?" Sophie looked at her youngest
son in dismay. Her mother was standing before her,
holding her younger brother Robin's hand. Still, Del
cried. This confused Sophie. It was usually her mother
who was able to understand the boy.
     'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt any of you.
You were the last ones I wanted to hurt!' Raven
thought as she turned to leave, but her body betrayed
her. She saw the floor coming rapidly toward her, but
she didn't care. She had hurt the ones that she cared for
the most.
     "Mother!" Sophie called out. She was quick
enough to catch her mother's falling body, but she was
already unconscious. 
     "Grandma sick." Del said through his tears. "Sick
here." as he pointed to his heart and head. For the first
time in his short life, Delwyn had spoken volumes in
the few words he said.
     "Robin, what going on?" Sophie asked. 
     "I talked to Remmy. He said that Mom most likely
has not fed in a while.  I know it's been a lot longer
than he thinks. It's been at least since she and Ethan
were poisoned, maybe since my birth. It hurts me to
look, because she is hurting herself and doesn't know
it." Robin told his big sister.
     "Mother," Byron said in his usual cold efficient
tones, "Remmy is at the house, and has informed me
that Uncle Ethan is on the way to fetch her. He asks
that you see if she reacts to the sunlight in any way."
     Sophie snapped into her 'Marine platoon leader'
mode. "Chad, go get the blanket off my bed. Alwyn,
get my purse!" The boys both moved as if the fires of
hell were chasing them. "Byron, take hold of Del, go to
the door, and wait for your uncle. Be ready to relay the
information to Remmy." she commanded.
     Chad was back a second sooner than Al. Before his
mother could order it, he, with Robin's help, spread the
thick blanket on the floor. Al handed the purse to his
mother. She reached inside, then in frustration dumped
out the contents on the floor. She handed the mirror to
Robin. "Reflect the sunlight onto her face. I need to see
what happens." she said.
     It took Robin a few tries to do so, the clouds didn't
want to cooperate. When the light finally shone in
Raven's eyes, all she did was moan so softly that even
Sophie had trouble hearing her. "Tell Remmy that all
she made was a small sound." she told Byron.
     'Cover her completely,' Remmy's voice came
clearly in her head, 'and tell Ethan to walk slowly with
her back here. He must not bounce her too much, if
at all possible. I'll explain later.'

     Remmy transported into the basement of the house
and activated the codes to the emergency functions of
the house computer.  Leo was about two steps behind
him. "You go start making the necessary calls!"
Remmy yelled over his shoulder.
     He made a mad dash to a specific closet, happy in
the fact that Raven had always had the foresight to
keep that closet filled with enough medical supplies
that a small to medium sized hospital would be all right
in a disaster. He reached for the things that he would
need and stuffed it in the satchel with his precious
cargo and then headed up the stairs, with only the
knowledge that time was his enemy.  He went straight
to her bedroom. "Christian, wake up, mon cher. Your
wife is seriously ill." he said.
      It took Chris a few seconds to adjust to the low
light. He then realized that the storm shutters were
closed, and for good reason. Remmy would go up like
a roman candle if the sun hit him. "What's wrong?" he
asked as he reached for his pajama bottoms and headed
for the toilet.
     "She's gone and done something excessively stupid.
She has not fed for a very long time." Remmy said as
he started unpacking the bag.
     "What do you mean? She's been fine. We talked
last night, then she went to go see Trujillo, because I
wanted to spend some time with Robin." Chris said, not
yet fully awake.
     "Give me a moment, mon cher. The cold one has
something to say. 
     "Oh, Mon Dieu!" Remmy cried out. 
     "What?" Chris said. He did not understand what
Remmy was saying, because he was getting so excited,
that he was rambling in French. Chris wished, in times
like this, that he had half of the language talent that his
wife did.
     "Remmy, please, slow down, and in English,
please! I understand French, but not that Creole patois
that you get into when you get too excited." Chris
pleaded.
     "She is dying in a way, Christian. She has pushed
her body into the little death." Remmy said mournfully.
     "What's the little death?" Chris asked. Now, he
was completely confused, and from the look in
Remmy's eyes he knew that it wasn't good.
     "The little death is when one of us doesn't feed for
a while. We go past the hunger, but our bodies start
burning itself for fuel. We keep going until we just
stop.
     "The problem is, this stopping is not like when we
go into the long sleep that is voluntary. We go into it,
we don't dream, we just stop, then go. It is like we have
a pause button, and aside from being hungry we are
fine.
     "But, this is different. This is hell. We are trapped
in a half world of our senses and our own mind."
Remmy explained to Chris.
     It was at that moment that Ethan came in, carrying
Raven as though she was made out of spun glass.  He
placed her on the bed. "What now?" he asked.
     "Go and help Leo make some calls, and keep the
others out of here till I say so!" Remmy said, with a
little more bark than he wanted to. He would apologize
later, but there was no time now.
     "Christian, get the heavy duty scissors out of the
bag, and please close the door."
     Chris shut the door, then laid out all the things from
the bag on the bed, happy that he had taken the field
medics training. Remmy reached for the scissors and
started cutting away her shirt. He had been a doctor
when she found him all those years ago, and with her
encouragement, had continued his medical training.
     Once the shirt was off, then came the rest. It was
not like either of them had not seen her naked. In his
mind, he thought of how much trouble he would be in
for cutting her favorite leather pants off. Then, he
thought of the fact that her mind might not survive this
to remember. That made the work go faster. 
     "Chris, find a set of loose pajamas for her, the kind
with the button up front, and the softer the better."
Remmy requested.
     He went to her drawer, and got out the black silk
PJ's that he had bought he two years earlier for their
anniversary.  When he turned around, Remmy was
running his hand along her arms and then her legs as
gingerly as possible. 
     "I need help." he said. "Her extremities all have
collapsed veins. I'm going to need to do a cut down and
place the IV tube in the main vein as it goes into the
heart. You may need to hold her down. I doubt that she
will move, but she will feel it."
     When Remmy cut her, there was no sound- and no
blood, for that matter. This puzzled and worried Chris
when the cut remained open and didn't close the way it
had always done before.
     "Why won't the wound close? It's always done so
before, even when she was unconscious." he asked.
     "Because," Remmy told him, "She doesn't have
enough blood in her body to close it. I'll take care of
this." He nicked his finger, and let a few crimson drops
fall. The wound drank them up like the desert sands.
     Within a few minutes, Chris and Remmy had the
clothes on her, and had hooked the IV to a three quart
bag full of blood. "I have to stay here to change the
bag, and I will explain further, Christian.
     "When one of us does this to ourselves it is usually
on purpose, but for the first ones and some of their
children, it is usually an accident. Those of us who are
directly from her or one of her siblings are stronger
than those further removed. I don't even know if they
can go into the Little Death, or if they just die."
     "All right then, so it's like committing slow suicide
by starvation, right?" Chris asked.
     "Yes, exactly. Only, the older you are, the more
likely you are to survive. The problem is that your
mind might not. The first thing is, look at her eyes."
     Chris took the little flash light from Remmy and
very gently opened her eye. What he saw startled him-
there was no sign of a pupil or iris. "She is blind right
now. She is also mostly deaf also." Remmy continued
explaining. "The problem is that her senses of smell
and touch have gone on overdrive. To her, the merest
touch feels like a punch or worse. Her mind is trapped
in a nightmare world created by her subconscious, and
for a person like her who does not let out how she
really feels, it is much worse. 
     "Feel her skin, Christian. It feels like leather, no?
That is because she has burned away all the other cell
properties like that which makes it soft. You could say
that she is at that state of perfection- no waste on the
body. Because her body has eaten away everything else
in order to survive. The problem we have with her is
that while she is like this, it is dangerous for a telepath
to try and make contact, because her mind and body
are both like black holes. They suck in anything that
they can get a hold of and don't let go."
     "What can I do?" Chris pleaded.
     "For now, nothing. We need to get as much blood
as possible into her as quickly as possible. This is just
the start- once the heart and brain are receiving a steady
supply of blood, then the nightmare world will start for
her. Right now, she most likely has the sensation of
continuously falling.  After that, the rest of her body
will start absorbing the blood like a sponge.
     "The only problem is that the tissues have been
denied for so long, the body reacts to the blood like it is
a foreign body. It raises the temperature, and in her
mind it will seem as though she is immersed in the very
pits of hell."
     "You speak of this as if you know." Chris said as
he looked at Remmy and realized that the old swamp
rat was crying.
     "I do, mon cher. I went through this when my
Lisselle was murdered. I would not be here, or at least
not whole, had it not been for Raven.
     "She gave me this life and helped me find it again
when I wanted to die. When I went through this, she
was there, and she stayed with me through the whole
thing. Bought every ice block in New Orleans when I
had the fire to keep me cool.
     "She found out about the mind problem the hard
way. She had to sever her own hand so as to not get lost
in my pain. She used a soft touch and her empathy to
keep my mind whole. I owe her. I must help.
     "Leo and I have talked about this, because we both
survived the Little Death because of her. She was there
for both of us. That's why he is calling all the others
like ourselves to get as much blood from them as we
can. We have a theory to test- that the old ones or those
from the children of those first ones have strength in the
blood, and that it will help.
     "We also both believe that it was a Little Death that
drove both Anansi and her other brother mad. Because
those who cared for them did not know what they were
doing, and it damaged them in some way. For now we
wait. I'll stay here- you go and tend to the family."
Remmy handed Chris some clothes to put on, then
gently chased him out of the bedroom.


     Chris went downstairs to let the others know what
was going on. The sight he saw when he descended the
stairs surprised him. Sophie and the boys were there
along with Rheine and Casey. Melody was sitting
quietly talking to Raya and Adam. Ethan was in wolf
form, next to Robin by the fire. Guardian and Raven's
uncle were talking in the corner by the bar, and her
father was carrying a tray with tea and other drinks.
"Sit down, Chris, then you can explain what is
happening and what we must do." his father-in-law
suggested reasonably, but with enough force that Chris
did not resist, just did as he was bidden to do.


     It was two days and nine quarts of blood later
before she had the fire.  "Dad," Sophie said as she
came into her father's office, "I am going to take Del
into the holodeck and have him sedated, because he is
running a fever and is incoherent from pain. Remmy
thinks that Mother has started the fire phase. I don't
have a choice- the other three are being affected by this
thing, and I don't know how to help them."
     Brett looked up from the briefing papers that he
was reading and looked off into space. "They must
merge until the green one can take her pain. Byron's
mind will make Del's heart stronger." he said in a
dreamlike voice, staring off to something only he could
see.
     He then blinked a little owlishly at them. "Ask
Robin to help them. He'll make it easier for them the
first time." he said as he came back from wherever his
vision had taken him.

     By the time Sophie had reached the holodeck to try
to get her boys together so that she could call Robin, he
was there. She looked and saw Uncle Freddie sitting
patiently, waiting in the corner to take Robin back to
the office when he was done.
     Robin went to Byron first and whispered something
in his ear. He sat upright on the table, then got down,
went over to Del, and took the crying boy's left hand.
     Robin then went to Alwyn. "You have to do this."
he said out loud. "It's time. Chad, go get the bottles,
we'll all need them soon."
     Alwyn went over to Del and took his right hand.
Then Robin went to Del and said, "It's time. You are
ready, and Grandma needs this, for you to be whole, to
feel you strong."
     As Sophie looked at them, Robin began to glow,
and so did the boys. It became too bright to look at
directly. When the glow faded, there was only Robin
and the boy that Del had drawn several times before.
    "Hello, Mother." the boy said, with a formal tone
that reminded her of Byron. This time though it was
not cold, just respectful, as if the word 'Mother' for
him was paying her, and all other mothers homage.
     "We are, I am, fine now. The pain is gone, but we
know that we must do something to help.
     "Would you please activate the doctor? We need to
donate a pint of blood for our Grandmother.  Our blood
has the strength that she will need, both in body and in
mind." the boy said, looking at her expectantly.
     Sophie stood there for a moment, then did as they
asked. Because somehow she knew in the deepest part
of her heart that he spoke the truth in this. To him, this
was just a simple truth, as simple as breathing. 
    

     Robin went over to Chad and took the bottle of
juice and the fruit that had become the mainstay in all
five of their diets now. He knew that this was the right
thing to do, and that the time was when and what it
should be. Despite his mother being ill, the universe
was right and life was good. He knew then that this
would make them all stronger, and that his family was
tied together by a tie that could never be broken.

     Fred looked over at Sophie. It really surprised him
how much she, like Rheine and Casey, looked like her
mother. It was like they were cut from the same cloth,
just slightly different tailoring. "Robin, I'm going to go
upstairs and have a cup of tea. Come and get me when
you are ready. There are those briefings that I want to
get through before the end of the legislative session
today." As Fred left the room, he wondered if his vision
had been blocked in this to teach him a lesson as well.
To appreciate the life he was given, and that one man,
or in this case woman, could only do so much. This
reminded him that she was still able to hurt and be hurt.
No matter how much bravado she possessed, she
needed him as much as he needed her and her family.
As to his father before him, she had been the other
mother- the one person he could trust with anything
and everything. She had been there more than once for
him, and was willing to do the things that he should
never ask anyone to do. Not only for the good of
himself, but for the good of a world.
     He then realized how much she loved those around
her, and that she had a strength that let her let those she
loved to make their own mistakes. She was willing to
let them have their own life and then let them go in
death. He didn't think that he could do that. For her
and all those like her, immortality was a curse as well
as a blessing.

     "Sir," Brett said to Chris. "Your friend the gardener
is here, and he wishes to speak with you. The Prime
Minister is in the kitchen getting tea, and I'm joining
him for my snack. I have the last of the briefs done, and
I have a little math homework to finish." 
     Chris had to laugh to himself. It was hard to keep a
straight face as Brett turned and headed for the kitchen.
How do you explain to a boy that looks like a ten year
old that the Devil lives in Arizona growing roses and
that God is going through puberty for the second time?
Not to mention that the prime minister of one of the
most powerful countries on the planet was making
chamomile tea, and there was no need for what every
other country had at least two dozen secret service men
for. That was the wonderful wacky world that he lived
in with his beloved.
     Chris went to the door and turned the lights off in
the office as he left to speak with his father in law.
     "I came over to see how she is." The lines of worry
shone on his face. For someone with his power, he felt
just as helpless. In some perverse way, it made Chris
feel a little better. He would have to wait like the rest of
them, and this made it easier to deal with.
     As they entered the room, he took a minute to
adjust his eyes to the dim lighting that was necessary.
Remmy was there, as well as Salem. For all the cat's
magic, he was doing a very ordinary cat thing- laying
next to Raven and purring. It was his way of letting her
know he was there.
     Guardian was also there. "I wish to do something."
she told the four there. "This one has done many good
things for the mother and for me. I wish to repay that.
     "You, blood drinker, must leave because I need to
open the window some."
     "She is in the fire phase. What do you have in
mind?" Remmy asked, with more than a little
trepidation. Guardian always frightened him a little.
She was the embodiment of Mother Nature, and the
very world itself served her and she it. At least Marie
seemed human and reachable, but not the green witch.
      "Well, I will touch the mother, then her. The
mother will speak to her, so that the pain she feels goes
away for a while. Mother says that this one has done
good, and is tied to her as much as I am. She will not
let those she favors suffer when she can make it better."
     Remmy was not sure what she could do, but he was
willing to try anything once.

     Guardian looked at the window, then looked
around at the stones of the wall. She decided that it
would be easier to change one stone for a time then to
try and manipulate the whole window. Once she found
a stone that was near the floor and clear of furniture,
she told it to come free of the wall, and it did. She then
sent her roots to the mother, so that the mother could
speak through her.
     Remmy and Chris looked at Guardian in
astonishment. She was even able to charm the rocks in
the walls. They watched her draw away a portion of the
stone wall about the size of a grapefruit, and then grow
a taproot from her leg to the ground. Once she had
reached the ground, she then went and took a seat in
the rocking chair that was sitting at the head of the bed.
She placed her hand on Ravens head, then pulled it
back suddenly, as though she had been burned. She
then told  the cat that he must move or he would be
stuck until she was done. He looked a little cross, then
moved as though he knew what she was going to do.
      She then stood and moved to the foot of the bed.
She began to produce thin white strings from her
fingers. Remmy and Chris both realized that they
weren't strings, but fine roots.
     Once she had completely covered Raven's body
with them, she again sat in the chair, the roots still
attached to her left hand, which rested neatly on
Raven's shoulder.
     After a few moments, the room began to smell of
cherry blossoms, roses, lilacs and jasmine flowers. The
smell seemed to comfort Raven.

    
     It was then that Robin, Chad and the merged form
of the triplets came into the room. "Thank you." the
boy said to Guardian. "We no longer feel her pain."
     "I will stay until the fire that burns her mind and
body is gone," Guardian replied, "and you are
welcome."
     With those words, there was a flash, and there were
now five little boys in the room instead of three. Sophie
poked her nose around the door frame. "It's time for us
to go home now, boys. You need to eat, and Daddy's
going to be home soon, so lets go."
     With that, four of them left with their mother, and
the last one looked at his father expectantly. Chris
looked at Robin and saw that this was as painful for
him as it was for himself. He walked over and picked
up his son. They sat down in the overstuffed chair and
held one another, crying together quietly. Remmy and
her father left them together alone for a while so that
they could just be together.


     She was falling. It seemed that it had been forever
since she started. The last thing she remembered was a
little boy's tears, but now, try as she might, she could
not remember his name. That was when the pain
started. At first, she didn't notice more than an itch.
Soon, she felt it swell to a point that proved to her, until
then, she had no idea what pain really was. The fire
was under her skin, burning her from the center
outward, and she knew that she was going to die- no
one could survive this.
     Then, when she resolved to herself that she would
die, the nightmare world that she was in changed again.
The pain was gone, and she stood in a garden. But, she
did not know who it belonged to or why she was
brought here.
     "Why are you in my garden? You don't deserve to
be here!" said a voice. "What have you done to deserve
peace? Nothing that I can see."
     "Who are you? Why don't you show yourself?" she
asked of the voice. "Where am I? Why do you taunt
me so?"
     "Who am I, you asked. Who are you?"
     She thought about that for a moment, then she
realized she didn't have a name that she could
remember. "I don't know who I am!" she cried out into
the darkness.
     "Then you had better find out, before you lose more
than just your name." the voice said as it and the
garden faded into the blackness.
    

      It was late and Grandma needed him. Del knew
that when he woke from his dreams.  His brothers and
parents were sleeping, but he knew what he had to do.
He put on his slippers and went to the book shelf in the
study. It took only a second to find the catch that held it
shut, he had remembered it from when he merged with
his brothers.
     He put his hand on the wall and began to walk. He
knew that the tunnel went straight into the basement in
Grandma's house, and that it was safe to be in. Still, he
walked slowly so he would not fall. Soon enough, he
was at the end. He opened the passage door and went
up the stairs.
     Leo, who was teaching him to paint, was talking to
Remmy and another one who was somehow family. He
didn't have the time to try and remember. He was
needed by Grandma, and he knew it was his job to help
her because she helped him all the time. 
     He went to the door to her room- it was open just a
crack. He knew that Grandpa was in Robin's room
"'Cause Robin was having nightmares." That's what
Remmy was saying to the other man, but he didn't
know what it meant.
     When he went in, he crawled onto the bed and sent
the warm feeling that to him meant Grandma. He felt
the question, 'who are you?', but he didn't understand-
didn't Grama remember he was Del? So, he sent it
again. This time she accepted him. He crawled up on
the bed- he knew Mommy would be angry at him for
leaving his room and not telling anyone, but she would
understand when he showed her. He snuggled up
against his Grandma and went to sleep, knowing that
he helped Grandma.


     Raven opened her eyes. It hurt to try and see what
was the source of the feeling that was coming into her
mind. 'Who are you?' she sent back.
     The small person again sent the feeling, and
somewhere in her she knew that meant 'Del', even if
she didn't know who or what a 'Del' was. The little
person crawled onto the bed and got very close to her.
She knew that she needed to hold it, then the blackness
returned.



     It was about three in the morning when Chris went
to check Raven's IV. Robin had gone to bed. He was
having problems sleeping, so Chris had taken to
sleeping with him for the last four nights. When he got
there, he found Delwyn cuddled up to Raven and her
arm draped protectively around him.
     He went downstairs to tell Remmy, and see if he
knew what had happened. Horace was talking quietly
to Leo and Remmy when he walked over to them.
     "Remmy, I need you to take a look at something
for me." Chris said.
     "Sure, mon cher. A problem hooking up the next
bag?"
     "Something like that." Chris lied. He didn't want to
get the hopes up in himself or the others, for that
matter.
     When they got up to the top of the landing, he told
Remmy to wait for a moment, then he told him what he
found. They walked into the room quietly, to not wake
the sleeping child. Remmy gently moved her arm, then
rolled her once again onto her back. He looked into her
eyes- he didn't need a light to see, his eyes were better
than an owl's in the dark.
     "No change, mon cher. She may have partially
woken, but it is still too soon. I give her another five,
maybe six days before she will even start to wake and
be truly aware of all that is going on around her.
     "Gomez says that the shortest time he has heard of
the Little Death lasting was a fortnight, and the longest
was about forty-eight days until full recovery. Mine
was thirty-three, but Leo's was only twenty-eight. So,
who knows? We just wait and watch. The boy, he
seems to know when she is in different states, that's all
I can say."


     She slid into the cool blackness once again. This
time, though, it did not take long for the nightmare to
begin. She still had to answer the question who was
she? Raven had no idea where to begin.
     "Begin at the beginning, or are you too stupid to
know this?" a voice said to her. The first voice had
been small, like a young child. This voice was a
woman's, and it was filled with hatred.

     She was in the desert with others like her. Six each,
male and female. Six perfect pairs that moved in unison
to the village that was just ahead of them. They fell
upon the village with a savageness that was
unparalleled. Time passed swiftly then, and whole
villages died at their hands in the night. Eventually, she
and the one she called her mate reached the city of Ur-
this was to be her home. She was Annanaya and he was
Martouf- they would live there as rulers, gods that
ruled with an iron hand.  But Martouf grew unhappy,
he did not want to rule by fear. She, on the other hand,
reveled in the bloodshed. Then, one day, he decided
that he did not want to be hated any longer and that a
thousand years was longer than any one man should
live. He gave himself to the sun, the great enemy, and
ended his existence. In that, he hoped that she would
learn that all life was precious.  She fell into a blind
rage, then set about planning the destruction of
everything in her sight. 
     What stopped her was one of the Kemphyr cats that
she allowed in the palace to hunt the rats and other
vermin that plagued the grain stores and brought illness
to the slaves. This one spoke with the words of a man-
powerful magics indeed. He showed her that to take
action without thinking was to invite death. She told
him she did not care, that the one who shared her soul
was gone, and she would rather die then be alone. 
     The cat spirited her away from the city that very
night and took her into the desert. He taught her the
value of thinking before speaking and that watching
was more important than sheer destruction. She learned
to manipulate those she chose to do her will without
threat, and to reward work well done. She saw the
merit in this, being behind the scenes, she no longer had
to feel, and they were all her toys, to mold and sculpt
the way she saw fit.
     Scholars were her favorites for many generations-
she would expand their minds, then see where it would
take them and her. A code of laws was the best things
that came along, with standardized form of writing in
those first centuries. She learned to watch the signs and
follow the progress of civilization moving through the
centuries, thousands of human lifetimes. She learned to
start and stop wars with words alone. She made friends,
but never let herself truly love any one or any thing
because this would mean she had to feel, and
eventually she would lose them to her enemy- time.
     Those that she saw who had great merit she brought
into the world of darkness that was hers. "You don't
understand. This is the thing you have brought. What
gives you the right to treat humans as an experiment-
they are not lab rats! You are no better than those who
sell poison to the children in the streets!" that
venomous voice said.
     "But I have helped those to grow."
     "Well, what about them?" Before her lay all the
faces of those whose lives had ended at her hands, those
she had murdered to feed her hunger, or killed because
they were a threat to all he precious plans. Then came
all the victims of the plague that had been caused by
her not leaving well enough alone. She was now doing
penance for that, as well as the ghost of her enemy.
She destroyed others in favor for the few she felt
deserved more and was no better than those who had
destroyed throughout history. What gave her the right
to do this? Who was she, that she was above the crimes
of humanity? She was the Raven, the carrion eater, the
one who destroyed all she touched, and there was no
escaping this cold truth. Whole generations had been
wiped out, and she was responsible for the near
genocide of her own species. Not to mention the cold
blooded murder of three of her siblings- it was for their
own good. What justification was that? 

     Raven woke to what felt like to her a knife running
across the back of her hand. She looked out into the
blackness- there was a light in the distance. She headed
for the light.

     Chris removed the extra IV equipment. They had
put extra IV's into each arm and leg in hopes of re-
hydrating the cells faster, and avoiding the problems
that were caused by the atrophy of the extremities. So
far, it seemed to be working, because she no longer
looked as though her arms and legs had been in a cast
for three months. She had a uniform gauntness to her.
     It had taken twenty six quarts from those that had
provided the blood.  Ethan and his father had each
provided three quarts- they did not have to deal with
problems due to blood loss. Her brothers and sister
each provided a quart apiece, as well as Gomez,
Remmy, Leo and the boys along with Paulos. Casey,
Sophie, Raya, Adam, and both her father and uncle
gave a pint apiece.  Someone named Chucky sent two
quarts, along with Guardian. It was Michael, the old
lizard himself, that sent the most. His three gallons was
amazing, as far as Chris was concerned.
     He called Tabitha to make certain that he was all
right. She told him because of his size, and that with his
finishing a molt, that to him it was like giving a pint to
the Red Cross. He could hear Michael in the
background. "I owe the high one. This is the repayment
for a debt of honor." Tabitha looked as puzzled as
Christian on the phone screen. 
     Three lines pulled, one to go. Del had said that
Grandma would be awake at bed time. Sophie had let
then stay up, but it was ten minutes to ten, and, well, he
had lost most of that hope an hour ago.
     "Time for bed, boys." he heard Sophie in the next
room say. They were all in Robin's room, since the
house was fairly crowded with well wishers. He figured
that Freddy had made a few calls- he would do that
occasionally when he had a strong vision.
     He pulled the last needle, and her eyes opened with
a start. He thought it may have been a reaction to the
needle until she spoke. "How long?" she croaked.
      "About ten days." he replied casually.
     She looked at the bag and needle rather accusingly,
as though they were a snake that had bit her.  He had to
cover his laugh quickly by disposing of the waste. His
voice seemed to come to her muffled through cotton or
ear plugs. "You've needed a lot over the last few days-
twenty-six quarts, to be exact." he told her.
     'Twenty-six quarts of what?' Raven thought. She
couldn't remember- this frustrated her, and who was
this man? 
     "Can you sit up?" he asked. She went to not only
sit up, but to walk out of the room. It was then that the
wave of dizziness hit her- she was too weak to stand.
Her mind didn't know this man, but her heart did, and
she was safe.
     "Ooh, easy, sweetheart. Remmy didn't think you
would be strong enough to stand yet." the man said
soothingly to her, helping her to sit comfortably in the
bed. Six pairs of eyes picked that moment to look into
the room, followed by a seventh higher up.
     "Told you!" Del said to his mother with youthful
pride.
     "Get Ethan, and tell everyone she is awake!" Chris
told his daughter.


     They were all standing quietly, waiting in groups of
four and five. The first were her other children,
Remmy, Leo, Gomez, Mike, and Garret. He still got a
giggle at the names the renaissance thinkers had chosen
for themselves.
     Her biological children were gathered around her
almost in a defensive formation, and Sophie's four
were the most protective of all. Casey had gone on a
security detail with Remmy and a few others earlier,
just in case someone tried to get kinky and do
something. She came back looking smug a little later
and said that she had fun. That worried him a little, but
he got down right worried when Marie looked at him
like the bird who had the cat in a delicate cream sauce.
He had served in New Orleans, and knew Marie's
sense of justice. She could be as blood thirsty as one of
her pet alligators when she wanted to be.
     Then, in a very orderly manner, Freddy, Marty and
Brett filed into the room. The old man still did not look
good. He had experienced a mild heart attack around
lunch time. Thankfully, Remmy had been in the room.
He sent Robin for his bag, and Robin flashed. Remmy
was almost as quick. He took a large coronary needle
and injected Freddy's heart with it full of Remmy's
vampiric blood. It literally repaired the damage on the
spot- quick thinking on his part. 
     Trujillo was next. He had come earlier in the day,
apologizing to the whole family for not noticing how
sick she had been. He had also apologized to Chris
privately, because it had been his need that had pushed
over the edge. Chris forgave him, with the promise that
he take better care of himself.
     The rest who paid their respects were a blur to him.
It was when the triplets once again merged that his
attention were brought back to the real world.

     'I should know these people. They mean
something to me. I just can't remember.' she thought.
      To preserve her dignity, she said little, and
watched them as much as they watched her.  That was
until she saw three boys, one of which she knew had
helped her- if only she could remember why this was
important. There was a bright flash of light and where
three stood, there was one.
     "You must drink this now. It will aid in your
recovery." he said. She took it, not knowing what the
substance was. She drank, knowing that she usually did
not do this in public, but the reason why eluded her.
The substance was sweet, and it burned her throughout
her body. In it was a forgotten ecstasy, one that she had
needed for a very long time.  Her entire life had been
built around this substance, but she hadn't had any of it
for a while. Why it filled her, singing to her very
existence, she didn't know. As quick as the fire in her
started, it left, and what was left behind was emptiness.

     Chris noticed that it was near midnight, and when
Sophie and Evan had taken the children home, due to
the effects of the merge, he decided that the crowd had
seen enough. It was as though they had come to that
same conclusion at that very instant, and they started to
leave. There were no good-byes, he would see most of
them in the next few days.  He looked at his wife and
realized that she was not completely aware anymore
anyway. "Ethan, will you help me?" he asked.
     "Sure." he said, getting off the couch, where he had
been sitting next to his wife, Melody, who was now
starting to show the first signs of pregnancy. With the
care you would take in handling a baby bird, he picked
up his mother and carried her upstairs. Once he placed
her on the bed, he left the room.
     Chris hooked the bag to the port in her chest. They
would leave that in for a while yet, maybe even after
she was completely conscious, so that she could be fed
while she slept. Even though her eyes were now
clouded, she reached out to him. Her head was turned
toward the door as she said to him, "Please don't leave
me."
     What she didn't see was that Robin was standing
next to the nearly closed door, saying the same words.
"Don't go. I need you." was the last thing she said
before she sank completely into oblivion.

     Robin ran into his room, crying to himself. She was
gone once again from his mind and heart. Her voice
had always been inside his mind and heart since even
before he was born. Only when she was in the time
closet did he not hear or feel her. Before, he knew
somewhere somehow she would come back to him, but
now he could not even feel her anymore, and they all
only hoped she would be the same if she came back.
     He had heard the adults, Remmy and his dad
mostly, talking about it. They weren't sure yet if her
mind was intact. They didn't know all his hiding
places, only some of them. He had watched and
listened to them. He understood more languages then
they thought.
     He and Brett had made a game of it. Brett would
pick a book from Mommy's special library of really
old stuff, and it was Robin's job to read it. At first, it
was hard, but it got easier as they practiced. He had
tried to teach Brett, but then Brett said that he couldn't
absorb it fast enough, that it was his special gift. Not
something that came from being a Sagan, like his
visions, but something that came from his mom. Brett
had called it 'genetic memory'.
     His mom had it, that it was special, and only those
who were her kids or grandchildren could do it. He
thought about how his mom was very special- that he
needed her and again he was alone.
     "You're not alone, kid." Harry said to him. Harry's
voice had been there too since before he was born.
     "You don't understand!" Robin said with more
anger than he meant. "You're a ghost! She is a real
person! You're dead, and she holds me when I'm
scared and I can't even touch you! Just leave me
alone!" Harry's presence evaporated in the usual
lavender smoke.
     Then he was truly alone, and the only one who even
understood was Brett, because he had felt his family in
his head since he was real little. What he didn't know
was that Robin remembered everything since before he
was born. He cried himself to sleep for the eighth time
in the last ten days.


     'Don't leave me, Robin! I don't want to be alone
in here!' Raven thought, but her plea fell on deaf ears. 
     "You're not alone, my pretty. You have me to keep
you company." she heard. 
     "Who are you?" she asked the woman that was
facing her.
     "Don't you know? I'm all your good intentions."
she said with a venom that she did not bother to
disguise.
     "Let's see- where shall we start? How about with a
little boy- here, pick one." There standing before her
were five little boys. "Go ahead, pick one. We'll see
how we can destroy his life."
     "NO!" Raven screamed in defiance.
     "Oh, why not?"
     "I don't want to hurt them!" she cried out.
     "Fine, then. I'll choose. I choose she walked back
and forth a few times. "I choose them all.
     "Let's start with this one." She pointed to a boy
who was smaller than the rest of them. The memory of
Del crying non stop when she was falling filled
Raven's mind. "What did this kid do to deserve that
heartache? I mean he already has a problem learning,
much less communicating!" His pictures flooded her
mind.
     "What about this one?" Her sessions with Alwyn
came flooding into her memory. You're teaching him
to be a cold blooded killer." 
     Then she turned her attentions to Chad. "Look at
this poor slob! He rewrote his own DNA to be more
like you, and for what? To carry on your legacy of
ruining lives!
     "This one here- he has no way of functioning in
society!" as she pointed to Byron, "You have a
computer with no feelings! He can't even go to a
normal school because the teachers won't have him!
He's too disruptive to the classes.
     "And the golden boy here- the savior to a dying
race, reborn to this world and perfect in all ways but
one- he was born with you as a mother. See what you
have done to the one who needs you the most and
understands the least!" Raven looked, to see Robin in a
dark place, like the one she was in.
     'Mommy, what have I done? Why don't you love
me anymore? I'll be good, I promise, just don't leave
me here alone! Come back, Mommy, please come
back!' Raven heard Robin's anguished mental voice.
     "Oh, God, what have I done?" she cried out.
     "Oops," the other woman said, "God can't help you
here. He's going through puberty again. Remember,
you put him there.
     "Try again." she said with an evil grin. "Let's see if
you can at least call for help the right way."


     Robin had snuck into his parent's room through the
secret passage. He had taken to coming into the room
that way during the time after lunch, but before he went
on rounds. They always stayed with him if he came in
with an adult. He wanted to be alone with his mom,
and they didn't understand this. If he was old enough to
"go to work", then he was old enough to sit with his
mom alone. He had taken this time every day since the
third day after she had gotten sick to spend it with her.
At least when he was here, he didn't have to worry
about Ethan being his shadow. When he and Brett went
for walks, Ethan was always there. Brett didn't notice,
because he stayed out of Brett's mind speaking range.
But Robin knew. He could feel him the way he felt all
the rest of his family, at least those that were related by
blood to Mama. His brother and sisters, Casey, Chad
and the triplets, Grandpa and Uncle, and Mama's
brothers and sister were the strongest . He could also
feel those that his mother made, but that was not as
strong. It was still there though. Last was Dad and
Evan. Dad always felt different to him, more like
Grandpa and Uncle than Mom. Evan was the weakest-
he only felt him because of the treatments for his heart,
they were made from a serum from his mother's blood.
      He always held her hand and asked the same
questions, but he never got an answer. So, he did it
again, and hoped that there would be an answer.
'Mommy, what have I done? Why don't you love me
anymore? I'll be good, I promise, just don't leave me
here alone! Come back, Mommy, please come back!'
he spieked to her. Again, there was no answer, and he
could hear someone coming.
     He had just enough time to get back into his room.
He sat down at his desk and made it look like he was
doing his homework. That what the time after lunch
was for, but he had Flashed every day, so he would
have the time to spend with his mom. He always made
sure that the door was closed so that they didn't see the
light, and that Grandpa wasn't at the house 'cause he'd
feel it when he did it.
     'If you are going to cheat, cheat outrageously.',
Mama had always said. She always had lots of smart
things to say and she was funny. He missed her a lot.
      "You ready?" Uncle Freddy asked him after he
had knocked and waited the five seconds that was
polite before opening the door.
     "Yes, I'm ready." He didn't say that he had just
finished- that would be a lie. Uncle Freddy had told
him that lying was a bad habit to get into, and that it
didn't do him or his parents any justice, plus he was a
telepath and he would know. That was before he could
talk to Brett in his head. Robin had learned this from
his mom when they had to go fix War Island. That was
why Mom had gotten sick, he just knew it, but when he
asked Brett, he wouldn't say yes, but he didn't say no
either, and he was holding something back.
     Brett always came to him eventually. So now they
would walk together and talk to each other in the silent
way. Byron sometimes shielded them so that other
telepaths couldn't hear, if it was about work. But most
of the time it was about how he felt about his mom.
     "Well then, let's go." Uncle Freddy said with a
grin. Somehow the smile made Robin feel better.
    

     "Well, how do you feel about yourself now, oh
great Raven? You have single handedly destroyed the
lives of at least five innocent souls. What do you have
to say for that?"
     "It's not true!" she screamed. "You are lying!"
     "Okay, prove it. Start with him." she pointed to
Chad. The memory of him in the holodeck after the
manifestation came to her.
     "He is changing his DNA to keep up with his
brother's changes. He doesn't want to be left behind.
     "He wanted this since you said you were his
Grandma. He was so proud, he wanted to make you
proud of him."
     "The change was his choice! I am honored that he
chose me to be like. He loves me for who I am, not
what I did or do."
     "What about him?" she pointed to Alwyn.
     Yes, she had to admit that what she taught him
could be used to take a life. But there was also the
times in the kitchen were she taught him to bake. The
training needed to be done now and that it would help
him learn control over the strength that he had. There
was no other way to teach him without hurting
someone who couldn't take the blows and not scar the
child's mind. 
     She walked over to Delwyn. Looking at the other
woman, she said, "He would have never realized his
true potential had I not stepped in. He was so closed
off. His mother had the other two to deal with, not to
mention Chad and Casey. Because he was a good child
and quiet, she would have left him alone. Then, it
would have been too late. He now will be able to lead a
normal life, or at least be able to take care of himself."
     "Okay, so far, so good. What about Byron? He's a
freak, and you couldn't have helped him now, could
you?"
     "Yes, I have helped him. He now knows that he
can't ignore the body over the mind, that they are a
whole being, and without one, you can't have the
other." 
     "All right, so if they can forgive you for letting
them down, what about him?" She pointed to Robin
again calling to her.



      Del had watched Remmy and his mom touching
Grandma the way Uncle Chen did. "It will improve her
circulation and keep the atrophy away." he had heard.
It took Byron almost three days to explain it so he
would understand. He knew that Grandma needed him
again, and this time his brothers needed to help.
     He knew that they had two hours between snack
time and dinner. Mom had told them to play. It was
Saturday, he knew that meant no lessons in the
afternoon. When Mom went back to cleaning the
house, he knew it was time.
     "Need help." he told Byron. He was building with
bricks- it looked pretty.
     "What do you need?" he asked.
     'No time to make him understand.' Del thought,
so he just grabbed his hand. He almost ran to the jungle
gym, to Chad and Al, dragging Byron behind him.
     "Need help." he told Chad and Al. They knew that
it was important by the feeling that Del sent them. Del
led the way to the fence.
     "Over." he said to the other three.
     "Mother will be very cross with us for leaving
without obtaining permission to leave the yard." Byron
said.
     "No time! Need help!" Del said with all that was in
him. They had no choice- they could not ignore him in
this, even Byron had to concede that.
     Getting over the fence was no problem. Chad and
Al had practiced this on the jungle gym before. They
got on top, lifted the other two up and over, then
stretched down. They ran to the house. They knew that
they would get caught if they headed to the front door.
But Del went to the kitchen and stopped.
     "Look." he told the three of them. Chad peeked into
the window in the door, Al looked into the bay window
next to the table in the kitchen, and Byron reached out
gently with his mind. They all saw that the coast was
clear.
     'This is definitely more fun than the game of tag
on the jungle gym.' Chad thought to himself.  Alwyn
gave the all clear sign, and in the doggy door they
went.
     "How do we get out of the kitchen?" Al asked.
     "This way." Byron said, leading them to the pantry.
He and Brett had done an exchange of information a
few weeks earlier. He had not deemed it necessary to
use this knowledge until now.
     They made their way to Grandma's room, and
waited patiently behind the panel while Grandpa
changed the bag. Remmy told him that he looked like
he needed a nap and that he would watch over her for a
while, that he needed rest, too. "Go lay down. I'll sit
with her after the next hand."
     "We'll never make it." Chad said, echoing the other
two's thoughts.
     "Would you like the probability of us completing
this mission?" Byron asked.
     "No." the two bigger boys said in unison.
     "Cat help." Del chimed in.
     "What cat?" they asked.
     "This cat!" he replied, holding up Salem.
     'Never tell the odds to a betting man.' came into
their minds. 'Good luck, kids. I'll stall them as long
as I can.'
     "Okay," Al asked Del, "Who all know about this?"
     Del pushed the panel open and walked through.
"Brett. His idea. Keep Robin walking. Give me signal
to go, and cat." he replied.
     "Well, what do we do?" Chad asked, looking to
make sure the door was closed.
     "You and Al rub soft on Grandma's arms and legs,
Byron, rub feet like in book I bring you."
     Byron had wondered why his brother had brought
him the complete book on shiatsu and therapeutic
massage that their great uncle Chen had written. It was
the definitive manual on the subject. Del crawled on
the bed and began to massage Grandma's head and
neck with all the skill of a professional.
     They had been working for an hour when Del
spoke. "We need to forgive Grandma for getting sick.
She need that now to get well. Hold hands, we make
her know." They linked hands, and in their own way
said it was OK, they forgave her for scaring them and
getting sick.
     When they were done, the other three looked at
Del. Somehow, they knew he was right, and that it was
O.K.
     'Time to go, kids.' the cat sent to them. With the
theme to 'Mission Impossible' playing softly in their
minds, 'The coast will be clear all the way home.
Now, scoot!'
     They all left as quietly as they came. The only
evidence that was left behind was the bundle of snap
dragons the cat placed on her pillow when he left the
room.


     Somehow, Raven knew that the four of them
forgave her. "Well, what are you going to do about
him?" the other woman asked. "You have violated a
sacred trust in him, and it won't be easy to get his
forgiveness."
     "Who are you that you know me and my son so
well?"
     She laughed, this time not the taunting scornful
laugh, but one rich with irony. "I'm you, silly! All the
doubt, resentment and regret that you fail to even
acknowledge. I won't go away so easily this time. You
have eight thousand years of denial to live with. You
are just like them, you know you do have a breaking
point. The thing is, you won't really remember this
discussion, but it's lessons will be there. Hardest lesson
is yet to come, not obtaining his forgiveness, but being
able to forgive yourself. Go to him, he's calling you!"


    
     Del knew it was time to help both Robin and
Grandma this time. He opened the door to her room.
Robin was there, like he had seen in the dream. He
walked over to him, he just sat quietly there.
     Robin had not bothered to call to her. She wasn't
going to come back. He knew this- she didn't need him
or miss him anymore. 
     "You're wrong." Del said to Robin. "It is too far
away to do it all at once. Call her, I help."
     So, once more he called. This time, though, he
reached way down. 'Mommy, please wake up.' He felt
her hand squeeze his, and she moaned just a little.
     Remmy came in a second later. "Brett said you
needed me, Mon Cher. What's wrong?"
     "She moaned a little, like she was fighting
something to be able to wake up." he said, then he sent,
'Please, Mama. I don't want to be alone anymore.'
     Her eyes started to open. "Robin, go get the wheel
chair and the blanket. I don't want her to try and walk
for a couple of hours." Remmy ordered. The words
were not even dead in the air when Robin returned with
the wheelchair.
     "Easy, lovely, you'll pull the tube. I don't want to
have to put another in."Remmy said with a gentle tone.
Robin held her hand, so she would know that she was
safe.
     "What time is it?" were the first words out of her
mouth.
     "Ten past noon- lunch time."
     "How many days since Sophie's house?"
     Robin looked at Remmy expectantly, for approval
in telling her. He nodded his head as he disconnected
the tube to the shunt. "Nineteen days." Robin said in a
soft voice.
     "Oh, I've really screwed this up, haven't I,
sweety?" she replied. Robin didn't answer.
     "Now, sit up slowly." She did as she was told. Del
handed her the blanket before she could say that she
was cold. 
     Remmy placed her into the chair with great care,
and handed her a pair of sun glasses. "They have the
window open on the lower level, so you may need
these.
     "Okay, Robin, you can take her now." The chair
was one of those low kinds that was for prolonged use.
Raven prayed that it was not indicative of how long she
would need it.
     "Get this chair 'cause most comfy." Del beamed
with pride.
     When they got to the staircase, she realized that it
was really bright, and she definitely needed the glasses.
Ethan once again played porter. She spent the next four
hours with her family and close friends, catching up on
what she had missed in daily life and drinking tea.

     It was almost five when Uncle Freddy came over to
Robin and said, "You know that she still needs to rest,
don't you?"
     "Yes." he said.
     "But do you know why she isn't going back?"
     "No."
     "Because she is scared that she won't wake up for
another week or more. She doesn't want to leave you
again."
     'You know, Rob, he's right.' Harry's voice
whispered in Robin's mind. That was his pet name for
him. Robin liked it- that was something that was just
theirs. 'How about you and me go talk to her, and see
what she says?' 
     "Why don't you take the lady of the house back
upstairs? We have taken up enough of her time."
Freddy told Ethan. 
     'Well, I could use a shower.' Raven thought to
herself, then, out loud, she said, "Okay, to the
bedroom, my faithful porter!"
     They all laughed at Ethan's stately bow. Once
upstairs, though, it was a different story. "You really
should rest some more. Take it from someone who has
had an extended convalescence."  Ethan told his
mother.
     She was glad that all the bathrooms had hand rails
in them- she needed to empty her bladder of the tea.
She sat on the bed afterward. That was harder than she
expected, but she wasn't going to go back there.
     "Why don't you get comfy for a while? Dinner
won't be ready for an hour or so. You can just rest, you
don't have to try and sleep. I'll leave you two alone
until dinner." Ethan said.
     Robin crawled on the bed next to her. "I miss you,
Mommy." The next words didn't register until it was
too late for her to really resist. He placed his hand on
her head   and spieked, 'You need to sleep, Mama.'
     That was when she felt the Voice, as she called it.
Frank Herbert had used it in his novels after she had
stopped him from being mugged in his early twenties.
He, for some reason, had been immune to it when she
tried to use it on him. It ended up on becoming a good
friendship. Try as she might, she couldn't fight it, and
was out within seconds.  

     "Good work, Rob. You did what you needed to do,
and she didn't even suspect. I know this was hard for
you." Harry Tophet said, appearing next to Robin on
the bed. "Your mom is real stubborn some times. She is
still sick, but this time her nap will be real short. She
misses spending time with you. 
     "She would have stayed awake, but that wasn't
what her body needed. She would have made herself do
it so she could be with you. Making her body do things
and ignoring its needs is what made this happen. Your
mom got so busy taking care of you and everybody else
that she forgot to take care of herself. She didn't do it
on purpose.  She has lived a very long time, and for
most of that time she didn't love anyone or let anyone
love her because she got hurt a very long time ago. 
     "She was married once before, did you know that?"
Harry asked.
     "Not to John." Robin said. "She said that they
would care for each other, but before Kayla his heart
was too broken, so they only had sex. She said that they
do that now and again, that's how Ethan and Rheine
were born. They still care for each other, and if me or
my cousins show vampire traits, he'll help teach us,
because the first changes make it hard to think, and
they are painful. 
     "No, not John. Someone named Martouf. He was
one of her siblings, like Horus, Chen, and Baba.  He
was the perfect partner for your mom, like your dad is
now.
     "They lived together for nearly a thousand years,
but then he grew real sad. He was different than your
mom- he was kind and peaceful. Your mom used to
kill for pleasure then, if one of the servants she had
displeased her. 
     "Well, after many years, Martouf was very sad. He
had grown tired of the wars over the lands around the
city. He tried to get your mom to leave the city that was
theirs, and go somewhere and start over.  You mom
didn't want to leave, though. She liked the wars, and
the power she had. So, Martouf tried to leave, and
found that he couldn't live without her. 
     "He would get so far away from your mother, then
his body would get sick and he would have to go back.
So, after a few times of that and your mom not coming
with him, and being at that time she saw no reason to
change, he said a prayer for help.  You know who
answered that prayer? Your friend Salem here."
     The cat appeared on the bed next to his mom. "My
name was different then, and I was bigger- more like an
ocelot." he said. That was when the cat took over the
story. 
     "Martouf asked that your mom learn the ways of
peace and words, as opposed to the ways of war and the
claws that she used. 'What are you willing give me for
this?', I asked him. 'What are you willing to lose?'
      "Martouf said to me, 'My life, so that she might
learn peace, and how to truly love someone without
being tied to them, like the way we are tied together.'
     "See, back then, I had a lesson to learn, too, but
that will be another story for another time." the cat
declared. 
     "'I have some conditions, though. She must not
know of this until she has truly learned what love
means, and is willing to take responsibility for what she
does. Another condition is that she must have a teacher
in this, so that she will not be alone in the world,
because loneliness only teaches one to be vindictive
and bitter.' Martouf told me. How was I to know what
destiny and fate had planned?
     "'Done and done.' I told him. 'Meet me here before
the sun comes to false dawn.'
     "'I will be here.' he told me, and he was. You see, I
was in the miracle business back then. I had very
powerful magic, and I needed people to do things for
me, like tend herb gardens and guard places where
power could be taken from. So, I would grant a
person's wish, then bind them into service, doing some
chore that I didn't want to do. 
     "See, there was a hitch. I only granted the wishes of
those that had the potential for magic in their souls,
because most people back then wished for power. So,
what they didn't know, wouldn't hurt them.
     "Well, anyway, with him willing to die, I knew that
there was enough magical energy in him to rival Kari,
Tabitha's great granddaughter. Plenty to start the seeds
of change in your mom, and the rest left over for me.
You see, death releases not only that magical energy,
but all that the person had in potential.
     "Well, what I didn't know, was that this one was
special. He had a destiny, plain and simple. You don't
tell time and the universe to go sit in the corner. Well,
when the sun started to come up, I got ready to harvest
the energy. Not a problem, quick transfer and I walk.
     "Wrong answer! The moment the sun hit him, the
very universe stopped for an instant, like a little cosmic
hiccup. The universe rang back to me, 'DONE AND
DONE. For your part in this treachery, you shall be
the one who teaches her to be what she needs to be,
bound to her through time, until her destiny has been
completed.' 
     "'To you of the noble heart, we give you this,
since you are willing to sacrifice yourself to teach
her the lesson that time needed her to learn. You
shall be rewarded. You will be given back to her
when she is willing to accept the love you have given
so freely.'"  
    
     "So, then Martouf came back?" Robin asked.
     "He sure did, Rob." Harry told him. "Remember
how your mom told you that Grandpa had manipulated
the genetics of your dad's family over time to produce
an ideal mate for your mom? One who would be an
equal? What he didn't know was that even though he
had the ability to rule over time itself, that there was a
certain place in the universe that would never change.
The two of them would always be together. They are
two halves of one soul. Your grandfather may have
made the bodies, but the universe made their souls,
even before he came up with the idea. They serve her
purpose in this." 
     "So then, who is Martouf?" Robin asked.
     "He is your daddy, Rob, he just don't remember.
The only part he does know is that he loves her with his
whole being, and that she feels the same way, she just
don't know why."
     "Why are you telling me this?" Robin asked.
     "Because, deep down inside her, there is a part of
her that has never forgiven herself for not caring the
same way the first time, the way he did.  See, she feels
that she let down a bunch of people, and that is part of
why she got sick. She needs to be able to forgive
herself, and she can't do that until she knows that the
part of your dad that is Martouf forgives her along with
Anansi. She was your mom's best friend, and she
wasn't there when she got sick. Your mom didn't help
her they way everyone helped your mom, and she never
really got better. 
     "Remember how Remmy said that her mind could
be really hurt?" Harry asked.
     "Yeah, he said she could go crazy. Is that what
happened to Anansi?"
     "Yes, that is what happened. She had called to your
mom, but she was too far away to hear her. When she
got there, she seemed all better, so your mom went
home." 
     "Why are you telling me this?" Robin asked for the
second time. 
     "Because I need to do something, and I might be
gone for a little while." Harry told him. "I have to go to
the other side, to get you Aunt Anansi, so that your
mom can finish the healing process."
     "Are you leaving me, too?" Robin's eyes began to
tear.
     "No, kiddo. I will be here in the morning when you
get up. It is just that I won't be able to teach you
tonight while you sleep, like I usually do. That is why
the cat is here. He is going to be there in your head
tonight to teach you how to feel the different kinds of
true magic. You may not be able to do true magic, but
you need to learn how to defend against it.  So, be
good, and I'll see you in the morning, bright and
shiny." Then Harry was gone, disappearing in a fluff of
purple smoke.
      Robin laid himself down next to his sleeping mom
holding Salem tightly. He didn't feel like eating dinner-
he didn't feel like doing much at all. 
     "It will be all right, kiddo. I'm not going
anywhere!" Robin heard mentally, but he was too tired
to be able to tell if it was Harry or Salem. He fell asleep
and slept till morning.
     He woke up in his jammies, tucked in next to his
mom, with aunt Marie sitting in the rocker crocheting.
"Good morning, my lovely little bird. Monsieur Tophet
will be here shortly. Get dressed, and I go make you
my special griddle cakes. Hop to it now and take the
cat with you." the elderly lady said to him.
     "Yes, Ma'am!" Robin ran to his room. Sure
enough, Harry was waiting. He was a little more
transparent than usual, but he was there.


     Raven was once again in the blackness. This time,
it was not frightening. It was warm and comforting, the
way it had been when she first had crawled from the
earth all those thousands of years ago. She looked
around the place. Someone was walking toward her.
She could hear them, but not see them, and they had a
familiar scent to them from long ago. Why was her
memory still clouded? 
     "Hello, Raven, nice to see you." said a cloud of
lavender smoke.  Harry formed from the cloud in front
of her. "So, how's it going?"
     "What are you doing here and why aren't you with
my son?" she growled. She was pissed that Robin was
alone, and this was her head! What right did he have to
be in her dreams? 
     She reached out to shoo away the smoke, and hit
something solid- Harry's arm. This gave her an idea-
she hit Harry as fast as she could, and was sitting on
top of him before the damned cigar hit the ground.
     "Easy, lady! I brought you a couple of guests." She
looked, and standing in front of her was Anansi and a
man that she knew was very important to her. 
     "This is for all those times when you blew that
damn smoke in my face! You know how much those
damn things stink!" She crushed the cigar as she got
up.
     "You're welcome." Harry said as he evaporated in
the smoke of another cigar, sans stink. 
    
    
     "Hello, little sister. I see you have influences that
even go to the realm of the dead." Anansi said. 
     "Why are you here?" Raven asked her sister. 
     "To tell you that I forgive you.  My madness was
just that- mine. Granted, I focused it on you, because
you were the one who cared about me the most. You
had always been weaker when we were younger, but
you became so much stronger than me.  You knew how
to get people to love and accept you for who you were,
not the power that you had.  People wanted to know
you not associate with you for who you knew, and I
resented you for it. 
     "I was jealous deep down inside, and when the
sickness came, it made those feeling worse. As I
became more enraged and you started ruining
everything that I was doing, it became even worse.
You had everything that I wanted, and the dragon's
poison words did not help matters.  She convinced me
that you were the root of all my evils. She said that you
would be my undoing. She had prophesied that, and
that in turn my child would undo you.  Thank the
universe you freed my son from her.  She knew you
could destroy their plans from the very beginning. 
     "The Dragons have prophecies when it came to this
world.  'Beware the betrayer, The mothers first born,
and the Woman who watches will bring about the fall
of civilization.  Beware the one who watches, for from
her eternal heart shall come the destroyer of us all.'
The problem was they didn't ever see you, because
until Sagan's came, you never made yourself really
visible. 
     "That posed a problem for them many times,
especially when you would ruin one of there plans
without even knowing.  To them, you always appeared
as a raven. They didn't know that 'Raven' was a name.
At least not until I came into the picture. 
     "I guess what I've been trying to say is this. You
didn't do this to me, I did. Stop beating yourself up for
it! When you came, I hid the truth, and had already
sold my soul, you might say, to that scaly bitch.  In the
end, you gave me peace, and you also have kept the
promise that you made- you saved my son.
     "I love you, and all is forgiven. Be good to each
other, you and my mija." With that, she faded away.

      The man stood there for a moment. "Hello my
raven hair beauty. How are you." he said. It was then
that she realized who this was.
     "Martouf!" she cried out, tears streaming from her
eyes. "My beloved, I have missed you in my heart since
that night that you watched the sun rise.  I now know
what it was that you were trying to teach me. If only
you were here to see what I have learned." 
     Then, he began to change ever so slightly, the shape
of the face mostly, and the height. Where once stood
Martouf, now stood the only other man she had ever
given her heart to- her dark angel Christian. "I don't
understand. What is happening?" she asked, totally
confused.
     "When I left, it was so you could, and would, learn.
Your father may have manipulated the genetics of my
family so that you would once again have the perfect
mate.  But, the Universe dictated that our souls be
together, and we are. Stop mourning that existence,"
they separated, Christian pointing at Martouf, "and
start truly living this one." as Martouf pointed to Chris,
then they remerged.
     Chris looked at her. "I won't remember my other
existence. I wanted it that way, because it would make
some of the decisions that I have to make very hard.
What I will remember, though, is that we are, have, and
always will be together. You need to rest now, my
Raven. I love you. Come home to us soon." Then, once
again, she was alone.


     Christian woke with a start. He was in the rocker,
and Robin was asleep on the bed next to Raven.  He
knew now that they had shared a dream. While she was
like this, he wasn't sure that she dreamt at all. He knew
that normally she did not dream, but that she had a very
limited precognition.  When she slept, she noticed those
that she really cared about.
     People like Freddy. She knew that Freddy Senior
was having a heart attack once. She had transported to
his house right then, in her bathrobe, and saved his life
by giving him a small amount of her blood. The heart
attack had been so sudden that his own sight had not
been able to foresee it. The old man, as she had called
him, had one little problem when it came to his sight-
he very rarely saw anything that dealt with his own
health. 
     Then there was the time that the Crimson Shroud
had made an attempt on my life while I was in Saudi
Arabia. They were a group of Muslim fanatics. They
had lived their entire lives in psi-shielded rooms and
compounds. They saw Sagania as the root of all evil,
much as the Arab nations had seen the U.S. in the
twentieth century. 
     They had planned their attack to kill the
ambassador of their own country, and myself, playing
it off as though I had done the murder and he
committed suicide in the escape, using a bomb that
would have reduced me to molecules.  She managed to
transport to within a mile of where we were, then flew
in through the wall of the complex, the window having
been rigged with explosives.  She killed all eight Saga's
within about forty five seconds.  The ambassador had
taken a stray hit in the shoulder, and my knee had been
shot.
     When we crawled out from the heavy oak desk that
we had been shoved under by at that time some
unknown rescuer, we found my lovely naked wife
standing there, drenched in the blood of the fallen, and
not a scratch on her body anywhere.  Needless to say, it
took a long time to explain to the security force that she
was the one that had done the rescuing, not the one they
needed to rescue us from. He had to admit that seeing
eight eviscerated and mostly dismembered bodies
would be a shock, especially when Sagans in this
country were all registered and did mandatory military
service.  The political buildings had nullifier fields
around them, the group didn't have a chance to use
their power to stop her. Not that it would have helped,
she was truly pissed. The whole thing of it was that the
Government was more willing to cause a political
incident over her being naked than her saving them,
and us, from another world war.  The catch phrase had
been, for quite a while after that, 'Have you flashed
any ambassadors lately?' 
     He knew, somehow, that she would always be his
raven hair beauty, and that he was now and forever her
beloved dark angel.

     She awoke nearly four days later, just before the
sun had risen.  She spent most of that day working on
getting her body back into working order.  Remmy was
being plain sadistic in the things that he had made her
do, along with making her drink every few hours.  She
had set the table, and was waiting for the others to get
back with the take out.
     'A little nap can't hurt.' she thought. Remmy told
her to get plenty of sleep, and for once, she wasn't
going to fight him or the others on the issue. 
    

     Grandma was sleeping on the couch when Grandpa
and Robin came in with the Chinese food. It was all the
way from China, and still hot.  "I think she is out again,
Dad." his mom told Grandpa.
     Remmy looked like he had taken some cookies that
he wasn't supposed to touch.  "I think I pushed her to
hard today. When I asked if she was tired, she told me
only a little."  Remmy felt her neck and shined a little
light in her eyes. "Sorry, everyone, she is out again."
     "How do you know the difference?" Chad asked,
between bites of low mien. 
     "Well, if she was just asleep, her irises would still
react to the light. They are fixed. In us, this indicates
either temporally arrested brain function, or poisoning.
See, even in us while we sleep, and in the case of the
lovely Raven, who takes out cold to an extreme, our
eyes will still react to the light. This is because the
older ones, like your cher here, can see in other
spectrums of light, like UV and Infrared.
     "So her eyes tell me nobody's home right now. I am
so sorry. I'll take her upstairs so you'll be able to finish
your meal." Remmy took Grandma upstairs, and Del
finished his egg rolls and soup.
    
     Del woke up, but he was not awake really. There
was a green light all around him, the green light that
had always brought his friend that helped him learn to
use the power of his heart.
     "Hello, my angel boy. How is your Grandma
today?" 
     "She sleep again, but be like herself soon. I know. I
feel." Del said.
     "I know you do." Freddy Senior reached out his
hand.
     "Are we going to Green Place today?" Del asked
eagerly. 
     "No, Del. I need you to do something for me and
your Grandma. You need to go and put the green ring
in her hand, so I can talk to her."
     "Ok, Freddy. See you tomorrow."
      Freddy had been teaching Del since his birth, so
that the child would never have to live in an autistic
shell. That had been his gift to Raven, for all the help
that she had been to him when he had been on Earth.
Reaching through the barrier to Earth from Oz had
been easier once he had explained to Glinda that this
was the one who had stayed by him after his parents
and Roger had left. She was his best friend, besides his
late wife who he had found out was waiting here for
him when he arrived. Now he taught Del every night,
but this time he needed to speak to Raven, and she had
to be touching the ring for that to work. 

     Del once again woke, and again he called on the cat
for help. 'Meet me at the tunnel. I will be there soon.
Don't forget your slippers, the tunnel will be cold.'
the cat told him. 
     Salem folded in the hand that he was playing. He
knew that it was the winning hand, but the boy needed
his help. Of all Raven's grandchildren, he needed his
help the most.  He was the one who needed protecting,
and was the one who could learn the most from his
instruction.  He was teaching the boy how to make his
brothers understand. Chad had some empathy, but the
other two triplets were not able to understand him. 
     The fates had decreed that they were to be a perfect
split of Raven. Alwyn has the Strength of Body, Byron
the Strength of Mind, Delwyn the Strength of Heart.
This meant that he was the key to the whole set up. No
one understood that Raven was completely ruled by her
heart, with the exception of Freddy Senior, not even
Christian.  That was why this had been so important,
and why he had made sure that no one had foreseen this
happening.  She needed to learn that she did what she
did because she had no choice most of the time, and
what the world around her had in peace was the direct
result of her previous actions.
     He knew that all this was in preparation to be the
guardian over time itself, for as worlds and civilizations
became more advanced, they eventually found out how
to manipulate time.  She and her line had been decreed
by the multiverse itself to be its protector over time.
Even her father had no idea how important she was to
the whole existence of everything. All of everything in
that which existed and continued to exist depended on
one person. 
     He knew this as part of the punishment for what he
had done in granting Martouf's wish.  Wolf had
punished him for trying to take over the world by
leaving him his magics and making him a cat. No one
would take a cat seriously in planning for world
domination, except maybe Scott Adams, but this was
not Dilbert.  And destiny had blessed him by making
him part of something so much bigger. His plans, when
he was a man, were driven by selfishness.  He now
understood what selflessness really was, and didn't care
that he was a cat. He had those that really loved him
and those that he really loved. Raven had been his
salvation in too many ways to count.
     She had to do a job that he would not wish on his
greatest enemy, but he knew now that she was the only
one who could do it. He was truly blessed. 
     He appeared in front of Del, who was there eating
an orange in his pajamas and had his robe and slippers
on.  First, to disable the alarm, then to unlock the
tunnel entrance. Next, the two trip wires on the other
silent alarms.  Finally, the six proximity detectors.
Then a quick change to a lion sized cat and Del
crawling up, then they were off.
     This was his little secret between him and Del-
when they were alone, he would let him ride. What he
didn't know was that this was for his protection also.
Someone didn't want Raven to go to the guild, and was
doing things now to hurt the children, to prevent her
from being effective. He didn't know who, only that the
next attempt would be on Del himself, so he had been
taking extra precautions. 
     Well, the coast was clear, and into the passages to
the room. "Off you go, kiddo." he said as he sat down,
then went to his regular size. The whole thing with
Raven forgetting had been a subtle attempt also.
Subliminal messages had been placed in the house
since she had been poisoned, to make her forget or
ignore her hunger, the hope being that the little death
would fracture her mind. She was the only one affected
by these, because they had been tailored to her brain
patterns. I had felt them, but when I thought about it, I
used this to her advantage. 
     "Okay, Del, go help Grandma." the passage opened
before the boy. 
     Del crept to the night stand and got the ring out of
the drawer. Crawling up onto the bed, he put the ring in
her hand and closed it. He held her hand till it would
stay closed, then watched as the ring glowed green.
     "Time for you to go to back to bed. Lets go, Del."
They went back, and once Del was in bed and asleep,
Salem went to reset the traps and get back to his game.
He had already fleeced Remmy of a really good
Bordeaux, and wanted the other bottle to go with the
first. There was only so many wines that went good
with grilled salmon in catnip sauce, and he still had an
IOU from Raven for some. Never mind that it had been
written in 1968 when she ran into a little trouble with a
group of very angry Vamps who were Grateful Dead
freaks. 

      Freddy Senior felt when the ring was in place, then
opened the doorway and stepped through. He stepped
into something that reminded him of the world that a
fetus lived in- warm, soft, and dark.
     Raven was floating in her mind the way she did
when she slept in this place where time stopped. A soft
green light flooded in, and the old man was there. "I've
missed you, old bird. This place is wonderful, but it has
been hard to leave you and my family behind." he said.
     "Oh, Freddy, I miss you, too. You were the only
one who understood me at times, the guilt that I felt
that I would shove so far down.  You knew that the
choices made in the field were needed and that I had to
get cold. 
     "I was angry when you left, you know. I wanted to
be selfish and make you like me.  I wanted to bring you
across, so that I would always have you. You have to
admit Leo, Mickey, Garret, and Remmy all look like
they are twenty-five. We know that they "died" of
natural causes.  My blood restored them to their most
perfect adult physical state, then made it better. But
you and your family would have never forgiven me in
their hearts, and they wouldn't have ever trusted me
again. So, I let you go. 
     "Christian now understands some of the heart ache
that we shared over our own decisions."
     " I know, Raven. You needed to say that out loud,
though, to finally let go of the part of you that was still
angry with me.  I needed to know that your heart was
still intact, and that you would come out of this in some
ways stronger. Stronger in the way that mattered. Your
body is an asset, but it is the mind, and especially your
heart that make you who you are. 
     "Don't feel too guilty if there are some problems
with the others when you go back. They need to learn
something too. Don't worry about Robin either,
someone is learning to use the resources that he has."
Freddy Senior paused at that point. 
     She looked at him. "Brett needs to do this his way,
doesn't he, so that he learns and has the confidence."
she said. 
     "Your instincts are right on the money, as usual. Be
good, Raven, and take care of yourself. Practice what
you preach, especially around the boys."
     The glow faded, and she had an urge to wake up for
the first time in quite a while. She had the urge to wake
and to live. She had people who loved her, and she was
needed. 

     Robin woke to a smell that he had not smelled since
Mama had gotten sick.  Scrambled eggs with cheese
and sausage, pancakes with honey butter and maple
syrup.  He knew that he smelled something else, too-
muffins with chocolate chips.  This meant one thing-
Mama was in the kitchen!
     He dressed as fast as he could, and ran down the
stairs. She was there and waiting. She smiled when she
saw him. He knew she would stay this time, or that was
at least his wish.
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