RAGE

4th March
  i got my mock results- Bs in both philosphy/theology and english. but the best news of all- SLIPKNOT TOMORROW.
me, robin, and sophie, plus ben and thom, are going to the signing session on oxford street at Virgin Megastore. It begins at 1pm but we're meeting at Waterloo station at 7am. and my mum doesn't have a car at the moment so we gotta walk to the station at 6.15. damn. me and sophie couldn't get hold of the nurse's uniforms, so instead we're doing a white shirt and black tie thing. i'm getting wear my baggy trousers i got from kensington market which will actually be for my birthday. and it'll be so cool, meeting all of slipknot. my mum's writing a letter to shawn, b/c she  thinks he rules. i'm gonna get the rest of my slipknot baseball cards signed, as i already have joey and paul signed. then i'm gonna get joey and paul to sign a texas chainsaw massacre poster. i'm gonna ask shawn if he'd sign 2 things, though i know they're only supposed to sign 1 thing. see, i want him to sign a card for my mum, her birthday's on 12th april. she will be extatic if she recieves a card from shawn on her birthday. it's all a secret so i hope he does do it. if he can't, then i'll just ask him to sign the card for my mum.
  then, it' cool cuz our neighbour, barny, originally couldn't come to slipknot though he had a ticket, but my mum talked to his and now he can. and sophie's managed to get another ticket (her mum burnt hers....long story...basically she doesn't like slipknot) and she's coming to stay the night after. this is gonna rule. and i found out that pantera will be playing brixton academy on april 30th which is a sunday so me and robin have to beg my mum to let us go.
  i went to a jumble sale this morning and got a few cool things. i also got a cuddly toy of Count Duckula. he ruled. and i also got a doll with a brownies jumper on. then in a charity shop i got a doctor's case w/all this fake stuff and equipment in it. it's meant for little kids, but i like it.
   i've decided to get my lip pierced after a-levels. i'm also going to dye my hair pink again. so when i turn up for the school ball i will look insane, and the teachers can't do anything about it.
other than that both me and luv have decided we have done absolute shit lately. oh, slipknot were on tfi friday and though the sound quality was shit it was a cool performance. pity chris evans is such a knob. oh and robin puked 4 times the other day.
   just to note- on the ski trip rob bugeya pulled this girl 2 years below us. all i have to say is- rob you are a sick boy. please send him your condolences. no, apparently, she's a nice person, so it's all good.

11th March
i am too lazy to re-write the entire Slipknot signing and gig review, so please email me for it. Thus, my Rage for March 11th is very minimal. i am very tired, i am sick of people starting on others for no reason. someone on the Slipknot list told me about his ordeal because he was wearing a Slipknot 'people=shit'  t-shirt. some people beat him up. thus proving the t-shirt to be true in every sense. little kids starting on you because you don't have any cigarettes. older kids beating you up for no reason at all. scrapes, bruises, cuts. i wish they would LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE. we are not interested in you and beating us up proves nothing. i have heard so much shit today about people beaing beaten up by rude boys/girls (ie,trendies but the most evil kind). we aren't looking for trouble. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND- YOU JUST WAIT, YOU STUPID LITTLE FUCKS.
i'm done.

18th March
   i went to nicola's yesterday. her parents are away, and so these 2 people, vera and des,  look after her and the house when they're gone. so we went down to the pub and met up with robin and kelvin. because neither of us had eaten for ages, we got drunk, and this is so lightweight, we are pathetic, on 1 pint of cider each, plus some vodka. man, i couldn't focus on people's faces, that's how bad it was. as pubs go (i hate them) this one near nic's is actually really cosy and nice. so, then i though i'd lost my playboy bunny hoodie but it was at nic's which was a relief. we then drank a bit more at her house and cooked pizza and then watched '8mm' with nicholas cage. wow. that film is very intense. but it's fascinating. very much focussing on, i think, society and its stereotypes and stuff. messed up. towards the end we just switched off the sound, as we were shitting it. that 'machine' character is so weird. makes you think.
  today, i'm going to see stubborn's last gig. yes, they split. i'm mostly going because i feel it will be good to see their last gig. i've to been to so many of thier shows over the last couple of years. and so it seems right to say goodbye. they split after mark left the band. see my guestbook message from a while back following his announcement of their split in the guestbook, for my feelings on the matter. i'm glad mark left when he did. dave is a (enter any number of 4 letter words here) and doesn't know how to treat friends. well, he can't treat girls right either, so that's no surprise.
i've come to look upon sex as a very interesting subject recently. yes, so i wouldn't mind some, i have been deprived for about 1 month. but that's irrelevant. i've just come to see it as having all these different angles- not literally, in this sense- and how it can be on different levels. one night stand, passionate, slow, etc. i don't know, all these styles seem different in my mind to how they used to seem. it's hard to explain. i think i've felt more appreciative of sex in general over the last 2 weeks for some weird reason.
i managed to get hold of some shag bands (jelly bands). they are called shag bands because when they were popular about 4 years ago, the legend went that if someone broke one of your shag bands they had to sleep with you. well, if anyone breaks any of mine, all they'll get is a punch in the face. it has taken me ages to find some and they cost me bloody loads. anyway, laterz.

26th March
   me and vicci went to my friend lucy's party yesterday. i've known lucy since i was about 7 and we were best friends at primary school. i havent' seen her for a couple of years, so it was nice to see her again.
   first me and vicci wnet to acton to see her friend's band play. turns out they're not going on till 10 so we leave at 8.45 to make our way to liverpool street. after some hiccups in the getting there, we got there. it was, er...interesting. i've never been to a party where everyone is all posh and shit. very not me and vicci. it was weird.  i'm not saying anything though.  it was good to see lucy again, plus another friend of mine who now goes to school with lucy.
   i got my haircut yesterday. i'm pleased with it, it has wispy longer bits coming down from underneath my hair. it's hard to exaplin.
  in a most amazing freak occurence i actually spent the entire day working. i spent 2 hours doing an essay titled
'"Miracles don't exist." Evaluate this claim.'
   plus i have to copy up an english essay i wrote in rough this morning.
   i'm feeling alot better about the whole dave thing. i realise he's moved on, got a new girl, etc. and i have to get over it. i am definately feeling much better.
  oh, it was wicked  cuz before we went to the party yesterday me and vicci went into this newsagent in acton and we found milkybar drink. it reminded me of my childhood. i thought they'd stopped making them about 5 years ago. it was so delicious. it was probably from an old batch form 5 years ago when they did stop making them and i will shortly get very ill from it, but damn it was good swallowing that stuff. "the stuff that dreams are made of"
   it's my birthday on saturday. i'm going to be 18. the day before, we're going to my favourite restaurant. aaaaaah, i have actually had dreams about that place. and they were surprisingly arousing. no, it's this chinese restauarnt. and then on my birthday i'm going to this pub near where i go to school with some people form school. a couple of my friends and me wanted to go to a metal club but we can't find any that are on on a staurday. oh well. slipknot barbie's going well. currently, she's got all 9 masks moulded for her, so now i have to start painting them. i spent 2 hours making corey's mask, as it went qrong the first time. but i am really pleased with it. it'sbetter than last time. i'm thinking of making another for joey's doll. we'll see. oh, i just remembered i recorded 'Phantasm' the other day so i'm of to watch it. me vicci and judy are going to make a mental horror film in the summer, so we're watching alot of these kinds of films to get some ideas. we've got some fucked up shit preparedfor this project. laterz