Tell me no lies...

Al's Page

This is Al

WHO IS 'AL'?
Alistair was born on 14th January 1982. He's got a mum and a dad, who are his parents, and a brother, Stuart, who is at University doing 'arty, dramatic, ooh' stuff.

WHAT DOES AL LIKE TO DO?
Al's completely mad. he's fun and makes me laugh until i almost wee myself. actually, i have peed in my pants a couple of times with Al before.  Al's an artist. he does cool pictures on school shirts and likes to spend 5 hour exams covering briefcases with newspaper. He likes indie music- placebo,  kenickie, etc, and is not too keen on goths. mainly because they scare him.

AL AND ME
Al tries to calm me down, but to no avail. So he feeds my instability instead. it's scarey though, because when he's with his mum/dad he's really quiet and calm and the whole thing confuses me. Al knows that everything confuses me. We shared some of our most memeorable moments in Geography lessons over a 2 year period, when we were 14-16. ah, those were the days. we didn't listen to a word the teacher said for those 2 years and he got a A* and i got an A at GCSE. we are jammy. the funniest thing is that after 2 years of paying zero attention in class and having no interest in the subject whatsoever, Al took Geography for A-Level. ah, how fate plays it's twisted fiddle

THOSE WERE THE DAYS...
*itchy breast and the queer
*jimmy
*pixie boots
*gelfin shoe- ez
*tree spoon
*"i gotta clint (moffatt)"
*the dancing peanut
*woo
*"you'll love amy- she's an artist"
*"rachel, your hair's on fire"
*childsline photo
*11.17- ooh, Pill
*scared of girls
*'TRASH' -a short story by A.Turner
*rob, knob, blob
*flashing the estate agent on a daily basis
*Wilkinsons- this shop is actually really good. not (Al- i had to throw away a pair of pants i got there b/c they actually just fell apart)
*our nasty view in GCSE geography lessons..."oh, for god's sake, he's fingering her!"
*"I have to finish this by the end of the lesson"

*goth bloke
*gemma bissix
*rude boy
*slappa
*dr. knowles
*what are you? Slooooowww and Fickle
*cawtnay
*phiwll
*kaff
*andy webber
*i've just farted
*speed
*dope
*grunge
*vodka
*too much archers
*heatham house
*hun yunnnnnn!
*shit and go
*play poo in a pot
*connie pancake- hmm, that's a good name
*medieval robin hood porn star
*"if he were an ice-cream flavour, he'd be pralines...and dick"
*"is it wet? -yes. Is it clean? -er, no"
*"he luvs you?-No. He fancies you? NO"
*Sweet potato pah
*John 4 alice 4 eva (threesome)
*Professional egg- did you know i used to play rugby for england but i'm far too dull... blah.. blah.. blah!
*do saga
do stokes
do saga
do stokes
just planning my weekend
*-definition of an orgasm-
-a tingly feeling like angels farting on you
*'Welcome to Heaven. Here is your harp."
"Welcome to Hell. Here is your accordian."

And yet more little oddities from 'The Geography Years':

*minge
*ginge minge
*syringe minge
*hinge minge
*69
*Terry the Sperm
*Urma the Egg
*Jizz
*Cum
*Sagalag
*Booyaka
*#1
*#2
Parp
*Alibear
*Salibear
*good hand
*good weight
*joke
bollox bitch
*awahee awahee
*Wee hee hee
*Apres goth night
*tree spoons
*Waf
*Not sam
*brrr
*egg?egg? what's that then, eh?
*jimmy
*russel
*cocaine
*adam
*saga is a pink hair daft lady with bogee in her pants
thanks
that's okay
*lazy dead chicken bitch
*well, we changed our name to 'the fretters' because 'chipfuckers' wasn't very commercial
*fat lips ryan from heartbreak high
*-How do you save a burning Billie?
-Who cares?
*Faaaaaaat or Gooooooose