A Right Royal Limerick!


A woman of substantial means
Lived on nothing but tins of baked beans
As she farted for Britain
While knitting a mitten
It was hard to believe she was Queen

"Well I´m human," she said, "am I not?"
"One must release flatulence, also snot,
For if we keep it all in
It´ll pucker the skin
And I won´t get to go out on my yacht!"

Now her subjects they sat and did ponder
How other foods they might make her more fonder
For they could no longer cope
As the beans left no hope
From a life for the Queen far out yonder

So on Her Majesty´s Service they sought
Out a fabulous raspberry torte
And The Queen she did try
This magnificent pie
Then five thousand she went out and bought

Her subjects they rallied and cheered
The Queen from her flatulence cleared
But all the tortes that she ate
At a startling rate
Caused her to grow out a chin full of beard


© Carolyn Eddy 2004