The most dreadful ear-splitting noise imaginable suddenly burst through the serenity and peacefulness of Munchkin Country. Munchkins everywhere were roused from slumber. Windows and doors were thrown open and a mass of indignant primary colours converged into the town square.

"You can´t do that," one Munchkin cried out, stepping forward to the source of the racket.

A man with his jeans half way down his jiggling backside carried on making the drilling noise.

Another Munchkin nudged the first one forward. "Say it again but louder."

"YOU CAN´T DO THAT!" he screeched.

A man in a fluorescent yellow jacket hugging a clipboard came forward. He consulted his paperwork closely. He peered over the top of his half glasses at the crowd of Munchkins.

"Yes we can. It states here that according to an Amendment of The Road Act laid down by The Council just yesterday that all maintenance work can and will be carried out at any time of the day convenient to the sub-contractor - that being us - and any complaints arising about said work from person or persons of a short stature should direct their grievances to the appropriate council department as listed in their local directory where the complaint will be looked into and put forward for consideration at a moment convenient to them - them being the aforementioned council of course - and by the way they are closed today."

"But what are you doing?" an angry woman Munchkin asked.

"Fixing the road. Regulations say that all roads in Munchkin Country must be uniform grey and constructed of concrete. These yellow bricks won´t do at all, they don´t meet the required Oz standards and so must be changed."

A volley of dismayed high-pitched shrieks sounded around the square.

"This is an outrage!" the most important looking Munchkin declared.

"Look, I´ve a job to do and I shall see it done. Now if I was you I´d stand back and let the men here do their work - oh and be prepared for major inconvenience and long tail backs of carts as we´ll be here a while," the man with the clipboard looked at his watch. "Alright lads, time for a tea break."

"Tea break, but you´ve only been working for about 15 minutes?" A Munchkin in the crowd snorted in disbelief.

The little people walked away wondering what to do. If there was no yellow road how on earth was Oz going to distinguish itself from just any old fantasy place? It was a problem that had them very worried.

The next day another disaster occurred. All morning the constant drilling and upheaval of yellow bricks had gone on. Suddenly the drilling stopping and a word, (the like of which had never been heard in Oz before), was said by the man with the drill.

"I think I´ve gone through a pipe boss," he said looking sheepish.

The most important Munchkin marched forward looking extremely angry and the man with the clipboard steeled himself in readiness for the torrent of accusations that would come.

"Well that´s torn it," the Munchkin said, glaring.

Clipboard man and his workers looked at the little person in astonishment.

"What´s happened to your voice? It´s so deep."

"You´ve drilled through our main Helium line haven´t you?" The Munchkin growled indignantly.

All at once the Munchkins started to cry as their Helium supply floated away into nothing.

"You´ve taken our individuality," one yowled.

"Now we´re just...short people!" another declared, choking on the word.

All the Munchkins threw themselves down on the ground and began to wail uncontrollably.

"Oh marvellous, just bloody marvellous," clipboard man sighed. "Oversee the roadwork, that was what they told me. No one mentioned anything about dealing with short people throwing tantrums. It´s not in my job description. Right, I´ve got better things to do with my life. I´m off down the pub, anyone joining me?"

Needing no encouragement, the workmen downed their tools and ambled off after him.

And so the gas leak was fixed and the council decided it was too much bother to change the roads after all and serenity returned� or so they thought.

A few days later an almighty crash shook the foundations of the village. The most important Munchkin threw open his bedroom window in outrage.

"What now?" he shrieked.

"A house just fell out of the sky," someone called up to him.

He sighed. "Well don´t just stand there, go and hide! Damn it, is there no peace to be had round here anymore?"


© Carolyn Eddy 2004