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| Safe Umbrella |
| Mediation Mediation is becoming increasingly common across the country in divorce-related cases. However, if you are in an abusive relationship, mediation can be dangerous. Mediation typically involves repeated meetings between you and your partner, which could put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable position. Mediation assumes that the two parties can work together as equals to achieve a mutually agreeable settlement; unfortunately, this is rarely possible in a relationship where the equality between partners has been destroyed by abuse. Mediation can result in physical and emotional harm to victims of domestic violence. If you are court-ordered to participate in mediation, it is important to take steps to protect your physical and emotional safety: If you are afraid to attend mediation with your abuser, make your fears known to your attorney, the court, and/or the mediator. If possible, explore with your attorney mediators in your area, and choose one that has been recommended by local domestic violence programs. Ask the mediator to go over with you exactly what the planned mediation will entail so that you can decide whether or not you feel safe and comfortable. Ask the mediator if you and your abuser can be in separate rooms during mediation. Ask your advocate or attorney to accompany you to the mediation sessions. Establish a safety plan that will help protect you before, during, and after each mediation session (consider obtaining a civil protection order if you do not already have one). Avoid contact with your abuser outside the mediation sessions. Educate your mediator about the dynamics of domestic violence with brochures, etc. from your local domestic violence program. Avoid agreeing to anything specific before consulting with your attorney. Information on mediation was adapted from the American Bar Association's publication entitled The Impact of Domestic Violence on Your Legal Practice: A Lawyer's Handbook (1996), Deborah M. Goelman, Fredrica L. Lehrman, & Roberta L. Valente, editors. |
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