writings

Some of my Writings

I get a lot of compliments
I get a lot of stares
people wanna burn me
wanna fuck me
wanna hug me
people like one item
and run from all the rest
people stare @ my fishnets
people stare @ my chest
someone sees me walking down the street
and they keep their eyes on my feet
because they fear all the rest
perhaps it's all for the best
they keep their eyes on my strange shoes
and never think, i could be staring @ them too

And the sun also rises
Where the end of myself is born
For every morning the light shines through
I die a little more
my breaths get slightly shorter
my eyes get further closed
and i am left lying there
to die completely alone
as the light shines down
and burns through my skin
all that is left
is the pure end
as the sun also sets
freeing my soul
and the night cradles my body
keeping it warm
because when the sun also rises
I shall die, once more

If only they could see inside my head
Maybe I�d be fine
Maybe I�d be safe
Maybe I wouldn�t be dead
if only they could see inside my head
Maybe they could help
They would know it�s not a lie
That I can�t escape myself
And can barely continue to try
I�m stuck in a battle
A war against myself
How do you always fight
And never prevail
Don�t I deserve
To win a battle or two
Why am I left here?
What am I to do?
If only they could see inside my head
And coach this little war
Maybe I would beat myself
Once and for all

Why are we so fixated on not exposing ourselves? Why must we keep ourselves hidden beneath our clothing? We are all beautiful, yet we fear that we are ugly under the clothing. And many view our under selves as ugly because we are told the body is ugly, although that would be denied in the fact of saying that they do enforce the beauty but say to only show your true beauty to someone whom you feel you shall spend all of eternity with. Yet the only one you shall spend all eternity with is yourself. And because we suppress ourselves to make others fell comfortable. How can we express our true selves or @ least know who that self is if we never express it. We must not be constricted any longer. Take off your cloths

I�m not listening
To the stories you tell
I�m not listening
When you tell me I�m going to hell
I�m not listening
When you make me want to cry
I�m not listening
When you say you want me to die
I�m not listening
When you say hurt me so bad
I�m not listening
When you talk about the fads
I�m not listening
When we talk on the phone
I�m not listening
Because I�m all alone

To the one who taught me how to bleed,
I hope you like what you've done to me
the pain has not stopped since I saw your face
the hurt has not suppressed since I met you that day
you showed my eyes how to cry
you made my soul want to die
to the one who taught me not to trust
and taught it quite harshly
the one who stole my brain away
who took my body, you just tore it away
to the one who taught me how to bleed
I thank you for what u did to me

A silent little girl
Sits in the back
She�s screaming out in pain
She�s screaming out for help
The silent little girl
Is screaming bloody hell
Everyone can see her
Yet no one hears the tears
A silent little girl
Is crying out in fear
No one cares that she�s there
She�s just a stupid little girl
Silent to the world

I think I thought I knew. I thought that I think but I knew I thought that it wasn�t true that I think I thought I knew for all I was, would be, am, is lost. Lost in a world where I cannot see, where I felt I needed to see to survive, but when the sight goes the rest gets stronger and I learned...lived w/o it, and then I think I thought I knew I had survived, but I was wrong. All I was, would be, am, is alone. Then the truth that had constricted me set me free, I think I thought I needed to be w/ the others, but then I learned the "truth" the horrid truth. And when you are alone you create your own world, your own place to retreat and your safe. Then I think I thought I knew where I belonged. Alone in the darkness thinking. And I thought I had found the place where I belonged, was I wrong? No. Yet I was. I knew more than I thought I did and thought less then I think I knew. Then it opened, my eyes, where opened, and they stood...in front of me they stood. Them, they, the ones and they entered, my life and then it became, a life. Or so I thought. And I think I thought I knew that I know more than I think and maybe it�s all too true, what I think I thought I knew.

Sleeping is for losers
Or at least that�s what you say
You think I�ve got talent
I beg to differ in everyway

I�m failing all my classes
Ok they�re just C�s
But a C is as good as failing
Or @ least they are to me

The talent that has defined me
Has run quite dry
I can�t do what I did best
And I haven�t a clue why

You say I�m good with people
But I hate the human race
And the feeling is so mutual
It shows on each face

So tell me what�s so great
About being awake
Let me go to bed
For both or our sakes

If I could stay up all night, I think for once I�d feel all right, I don't want to be alone anymore, I want to know what I�m living for. So tell me what you think it's for, tell me why I�m here anymore, as I spend one more day alone, as my purpose goes unknown. I�m sick of the games I play, I�m tired living this way, let me spend my night with you, so I can forget what I�m going through. So tell me what you think it's for, tell me why I�m here anymore, as I spend one more day alone, as my purpose goes unknown, don't let me be alone tonight...

I cannot write a poem
My words will be dismissed
My rhythm is quite off
My words are often fished

I cannot write a story
My plot has many holes
My characters are boring
The stories don�t have souls

I cannot write a play
My words can never flow
My expressions are too empty
Even I wouldn�t go

I cannot write a poem
A story or a play
I cannot write at all
Which became all too clear today

The girl I could never see
Standing right next to me
Something that you happen to need
I�m sure I could never be

The girl I can never be with
The girl I could only hope to kiss
With smile I will surely miss
But I beg of you, please listen to this

It seems like I met you just yesterday
It could have been, it wasn�t too far away
When I saw you smile
When you asked my name
When we became the players
In this little game

So smile now
Just one last time
And walk away
Without a kiss good bye
Because I�ll be here another day
Hoping you�ll see me, in another way

I never thought I�d have a dream
And dream of someone like this
I never thought I�d meet a girl
Who I could only hope to wish

Hi everyone, I am society�s sex slave. I am their toy, molded to their perfection. They try to paint and stain me. I�m too weak for them to mold anymore. Make me strong and break me down to your expectations. Turn the heat up. It�s too high. They burn me alive, I explode, I am free.
I am my own person. I stain myself with what I like. I paint myself the way I like it. I mold myself. No longer do I live to fir your mold. I am too strong for you to break�or so I think. I am still society�s sex slave.

I'm done for now

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