It hadnt been but ten days later when my mother called me and asked if I still had the cage I had used for the babies. When I answered yes, she asked if I had a second cage!!! There was two litters!!! Ten babies in all.
I had no fears at this point, not realizing yet why my two babies from the first litter I had, had died. As time went on with this litter, ( I never considered them seperate litters and they all grew up together) I learned so much more. It was SO much work caring for these babies, so many to feed, it would take me 2 hours to feed them all until they got use to me and the feedings. I had one baby that learned to get a good hold on the dropper and get the suction established and he would suck it all out in swoop!! Took me 1 minute to feed him full, compared to 5 minutes each for the others.
It was hard to identify each and every one of them at first, sometimes I couldnt tell who was who except for a few of them with distinguishing marks. When the first 2 died I didnt know who it was until I realized a baby with a certain trait or by looking at a picture and realizing something about that bunny, that I had lost that one.
Once again, a week later a baby died overnight before ever starting on solids. I was so upset that this was going to happen again. I had been giving them Benebac in an amount I analyzed on my own according to the feeding directions, a drop each bunny each day. On the tenth day they started enjoying weeds and pellets and oats.
I was holding my breath everyday, checking bottoms and kissing each one each night begging them not to leave me. Unfortunately one morning, one of my walnuts( I called them that for being runts) had a messy bottom. Most of the day he still seemed full of energy and was eating well. But as the hours went by he was less interested in eating and his messies were only getting worse. I knew he was going to leave me. I tried holding him as much as I could, but he still wanted to move around enough that he didnt want to be still. I put him in his pen enclosure with the others and kept an eye on him. Finally he went down, his little face fell to the floor and he could move no more. I scooped him up to comfort him, stroked him, told him I loved him, how sorry I was. When he lay over on his side, I knew it was only moments away. (For the longest time I associated bunnies laying down with death) He started to throw his head back and kick his legs, just like the other baby from my first litter, and then came the screams. It is a terrible sound to hear, it shakes me to my very depths. I held him tight trying to hold his body back from arching almost completely backwards, I knew he was in enough pain already let alone his little body contorting that way. He took his last breath and once again I sat there holding one of my poor babies and soaking him with my tears.
My fear became greater, I dreaded checking bottoms everyday, but everything seemed to be going ok. I thought I was past the point of losing anymore, they were almost 4 weeks old now. Then suddenly, two babies with messy bottoms. I wrote the rehabber asking for help, I didnt know what was going on since they were this old. Before I finished my letter, one of the babies that was rapidly going down that I was holding, laid over to his side. I ran off to another room with him and held him close, just like the others, and went thru it all again. This one seemed to suffer so long before finally leaving me, taking so long to take his last breath that I wished I could somehow end his pain quicker for him. Ten minutes can seem to terribly long sometimes. After I pulled myself together I had to finish my letter to the rehabber, I just couldnt take this and needed to know what I was doing to wrong. I felt I was killing my babies with my ignorance.
Shortly after sending that letter, I resent another telling her it was too late, I'd lost yet another baby. I sat alone in my daughters bedroom, crying so hard I couldnt breathe, holding that second baby against my cheek, 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby' over and over again. I couldnt pull myself together, not after losing two babies in one day. My oldest son found me that way, shocked at the sight. As he sat next to me he put his arm around me and started to cry for seeing his mother that way, as he told me to breathe............. |
